Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

employees

When Your Team Member is Stuck in Story:

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When Your Team Member is Stuck in Story

Helping Them Take Back Control

Do you love stories? So do I!

Stories are entertaining – and they help us make meaning of our world.

Some of my favorite stories are of the Sherlock Holmes type, where solving the mystery to bring solution is key.

But some tales are frustrating, like the kind in which your employee seems stuck. This kind affects everyone on the team. It slows down productivity… energy… motivation…

Is one of your team members holding you hostage to the same script? If you hear any of the following lines on a regular basis, you need to help your team member turn the page:

  • I can’t because…

  • It will have to wait until…

  • That would be nice, but…

  • I would have/could have, but…

I am often called to coach teams, and once coached a small, but key team to help them perform at a higher level. The talents were there. The desire was there. But the numbers were down. And the energy was low.

At one point early on, I asked them to walk me through a current project to see how they would describe the process of working together. And we hit the jackpot.

Terry, Laurie, and Martin began laying out the pieces of the project, and shared who was responsible for which part of the whole. Then I asked them to draft a timeline to show me how this would happen, and at what pace. At a certain point in the process, Laurie revealed that she was “stuck in story” – that she was unable to work around a chronic issue to move at a more acceptable pace.

“I can’t meet that deadline, Terry, and you know it. It will have to wait until I complete my part of the Blue project we are currently working on.”

“Oh– you still have that piece to complete?” asked Terry.

Martin joined in. “Can’t we figure out a different way to pace these things?”

“It’s not that – it’s just all the interruptions I get during the day. I can’t just tell people to go away.”

At this point, I interrupted.

“Are you saying that the interruptions are what is holding you back from being able to complete your work in a more timely fashion?”

“Yes,” Laurie answered. “The guys here know that my office is the first on the hallway, and that I’m seen as point person for the team. That means people coming in and out all day.”

I turned to Terry and Martin. “How does this slow down what you are able to complete?”

“Are you kidding?” said Martin. “We are constantly telling leadership they will have to wait because of this.”

“Okay,” I answered. “So what’s the solution to this?”

“You mean to the interruptions?” asked Laurie. “There is none. Like I said, my office is first, we are asked to be responsive, and if it isn’t office visits, it’s e-mails and phone calls. All day. I could be much faster – but I can’t because of this.”

Laurie was stuck in her story – the story that she had to operate in a certain way because of her role, even though it held her work back – which held back the entire team.

It was time to rewrite her story.

“Laurie, let’s brainstorm,” I said. “We need Terry and Martin’s help, here. If you weren’t there in that office to field interruptions, what would happen?”

“Good grief, if they couldn’t find me, they’d barrage me with e-mails and phone calls on my cell.”

“Your cell?”  I asked. “Colleagues here call you on your cell for work questions?”

“Well, yes – if they can’t find me. They know they can chase me down on my cell. And then, the e-mails keep coming.”

“Laurie, what would happen if you turned off your cell and scheduled time twice daily to look at your e-mails?”

Terry sat up. “I said that months ago!” he said. “Why does the entire work floor have to hold you hostage, Laurie?”

“Hostage?” responded Laurie. “That sounds like I’m a prisoner.”

“Well,” I said, “The way you describe things, you have pretty much said so. I mean, you’ve said you cannot control it. But…”

“But, what?” she said.

“But – you can control yourself and what you choose to do with the barrage coming your way.”

“But if I do that, I’ll have piles of e-mails and calls to return – and that will put me farther behind.”

“Laurie, it sounds like people are depending on you to drop everything and help at any time,” I countered.

“Hey,” said Martin, “Patti’s right. Actually, you have a bunch of people who look to you to help them out all the time when it’s actually not your job or place.”

“Well…” Laurie got still. “I guess it’s true.”

“What are you getting out of fielding these cries for help all day long, Laurie?” I asked.

She got quiet.

“Laurie,” I moved forward gently, “Are you getting some satisfaction out of helping?”

“Well, yes,” she said. “And if I am honest with myself, I guess that most of it isn’t even related to our department. I know I said I was point person – but it’s much more than that. In truth, maybe it’s just a way to feel valuable.”

“Valuable?” asked Terry. “You think you aren’t valuable to our team?”

And then, our real work began. And although we had to do some deep work, it paid off.

I’m happy to report that a few months later, the team members were working at top performance, with all members understanding and appreciating each other’s value.

Don’t you love a story with happy ending? I certainly do!

Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Pushing Beyond Success

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I worked with an impressive executive last year, whom I will call Jerry (not his real name). Jerry managed an area of responsibility generating more than $20 million in annual revenues, and top leadership was considering him to succeed the COO in future.

He reached out to me for help because he really wanted that position. “I’m ready for a new challenge,” he said. “I get bored easily when success becomes routine. Taking on the role of COO has been in my sights for some time.”

If the reader is thinking, “Boy, what an ego,” there may be an element of that. However, most people who desire to lead love to be challenged, and routine anything can quickly demotivate.

So Jerry had set his sights on this promotion.

There was just one problem. Jerry wasn’t ready.

Jerry was leaving money on the table within his current responsibility, and he’d known it for a while. The company should have noticed, too, as they considered him in future planning.

You see, Jerry’s current team had worked with him for almost 10 years, and they knew how to work with him to get things done. And they’d always hit their mark of $20 million. Always. But the needle hadn’t moved for 10 years.

How could Jerry be effective in a larger role if he didn’t know how to maximize the current potential in front of him?

When Jerry and I sat down, he shared his revenue projections and showed the potential in additional market share. He shared his team’s roles and responsibilities and current strategies. He said they were all super people who knew how to do their jobs very well. But he didn’t know how to break through the $20 million mark.

How could he get his team to perform at even higher levels?

So I asked if I could sit in on one of his team meetings as they examined the gap and the potential.

After the meeting, Jerry and I sat down. “I believe I’ve identified a key problem,” I said. “And it’s not your team. Jerry. Before we look at your team’s performance, we need to talk about widening your personal perspective. We need to talk about some deep listening.”

“Deep listening?” he reared back. “Isn’t that for coaches and therapists?”

“Jerry, you have helped this company realize great success through what you have done with this team. But the money you are leaving on the table is not the team’s fault. Here’s what I heard in your meeting:  three ideas from your team members that you discounted immediately. You told them why it wouldn’t work. I’m frankly surprised they are still coming up with ideas for you when you ask!  And here’s what I didn’t hear – ‘I’m listening – tell me more. How might that work?’ You simply aren’t allowing your team to participate.”

Jerry paused. “You mean I’m responsible for keeping this team stuck? I’m personally responsible for not generating more revenue?”

I nodded. “The strategies you have taken have gotten you this far – but they aren’t taking you any farther. You have an amazing team!  But you aren’t allowing them to contribute. You aren’t tapping into your team’s perspectives and considering their ideas – new ideas that may likely take you far. You have a choice, here – either continue to do the same thing and get the same results, or allow your team in.”

Of course, this first conversation was just a door-opener. Working with Jerry to widen his perspective, to help him peel off of black-and-white thinking, took longer, because old habits die hard. And we did look at team performance together, as we worked on developing his ability to listen and consider new points of view.

But in the end, it did pay off. After working with Jerry and his team for just 6 months, they began to capture additional market share and increase their revenues.

“It’s funny,” Jerry said later on. “I have a much greater rapport with my team. We enjoy each other more. Work has become fun instead of tense, even though we are performing at higher levels. I guess allowing others in to contribute really pays off.”

I love that deep listening.

Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Five Best Leadership Lessons I Learned in Kindergarten

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Five Best Leadership Lessons I Learned in Kindergarten

I addressed a group of young leaders last week, and they asked me to share my leadership experience and lessons learned.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about lessons, it’s that the biggest lessons are those that are the most simple. So simple, in fact, that they should already be acquired in kindergarten.

See what you think.

1. Be yourself.

I am left-handed, and as a small schoolgirl, my teacher tried to make me shift to the right hand for writing. You can guess the result, and it was indeed disastrous. My homework took longer, letters were difficult to pen, and the stress and frustration were overwhelming. Fortunately, my mother caught wind of this “experiment,” and told the teacher to cease and desist. When I took the pen in my left hand, again, things flowed easily, and I didn’t struggle with process. The outcomes were so different – and much better.

Are you leading from your top strengths, or are you trying to copy the way your mentor leads? If the latter, you will find, sooner or later, that the toll it takes on your mental energy and ability to execute are significant.

2. Harness distractors to focus on what counts.

There was a boy named Jerry who wiggled all day long in school. The problem was, I sat next to him. And almost every time the teacher called on me, Jerry would whisper my name loudly, get me to look, and make a face. Or he’d pull on my hair when I was turned away. It became so upsetting that I burst into tears one day and ran to the teacher. Of course, when the teacher investigated, she promptly dealt with Jerry and as a result, my new seatmate was a very quiet and studious boy named Mike.

My ability to concentrate and stay on task suddenly blossomed, and I wish I had asked the teacher for help much earlier. When you are the boss, you have no one to run to but yourself. But the fact is, you can harness and eliminate most distractors simply by dealing with them differently.

Do you need closed-door time? Delegation of repetitive, but non-essential tasks that keep coming your way? Something else? Take charge. Make the change that will keep distractors from ruling your life.

3. If you are going to do it, do it well.

Marcia couldn’t wait for recess, so she would scribble quick answers on her papers, or use big and sloppy strokes when she colored. She wanted to be done so she could go outside. I’m not sure why she didn’t catch on, but teacher always made her do her papers over.

“Take some pride in your work,” she would say to Marcia, and Marcia would sigh, grab another paper, and start over.

Of course, this took longer than it would, had she done the right thing the first time and used care in completing her first iteration. And we all had to wait until Marcia completed her second go-around before we were released for recess.

It’s like that in the workplace. There are parts of our workload that are not as exciting as others. Yet, if we take pride in doing a good job of these mundane items, it will not only make the process more enjoyable, but it will also make it much more pleasant for those around you. People are watching, just like we watched Marcia.

4. Use your influence to make positive change.

It was always a tense time when we lined up to be picked for softball. You could count on it – the best hitters and runners were selected first, and by the time it got down to the last couple of kids, there was an awkward air around who would be picked next, and who would be left last as the booby prize. It was painful.

One day, one of the most popular kids did an amazing thing – Andrea picked the guy who was always last, and she picked him, first. The other kids groaned. And then they got quiet…because Andrea was glaring at them. She was the queen of influence in grade school.

Something changed that day. It got a little kinder around recess. The big kids didn’t make fun of the little ones so much, anymore. There was a little more food sharing at lunchtime. The culture had shifted.

You can shift culture simply by using your influence. Where will you start?

5. If you want people to follow, you’d better know where you are going.

“Come on!” some of the kids used to shout as we ran outside to play.

We’d tear off running, following whoever took the lead. Pretty soon, the kid in front started circling back, or zigzagging, because he or she had frankly just started out running just for the joy of it, but with no definite destination in mind. When the circling started, the other kids felt the waffling in direction, and started slowing down. They started colliding into each other, and then stopping to peel off in little groups, or walking over to play hopscotch.

“Come on!” the kid who had led the pack would cry, trying to get everyone to start running, again.

But no one was interested. If they weren’t going somewhere together in the same direction with a destination in mind, they weren’t going to participate.

I think you get the picture. Leading to feel like the head of the pack is fruitless and you will lose your followers quickly. Have an idea of where you are going and know how to share it so that everyone comes along.

What’s your best leadership lesson?

When You Get Distracted in Conversation

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3 Ways to Come Back to Center

It was definitely a tense moment for Kate. The conversation was serious, and even though she deemed it important, her mind had wandered off. What to do?

She remembered the three-step refocus exercise I had given her some time ago, and quickly put it into action. If you find yourself in trouble during a critical moment, try these steps in the order you see them here:

  1. Adjust your body to an open, forward position.

Lean in toward the person speaking, place your hands on the desk, and refocus your eye contact so that you feel riveted.

  1. Encapsulate or mirror.

If you have lost just a bit of their last thought, ask them to pause and allow you to encapsulate what they have said so far. “Hold on – let me encapsulate what we are saying so far…here’s what I hear you saying…”  Then at the point where you originally lost them, pause, and wait. They will generally pick up the thread and fill in the blank for you.

  1. Heighten your show of deep interest.

Ask a question, such as, “What else is behind that?” or “Tell me more.”

Of course, if you have lost the conversation entirely, it’s best to be honest about it. However, practice the three steps for the rest of the conversation to stay on track and to show visible interest to the other party.

When have you lost focus during a critical conversation? How did you recoup the situation? (Click here to join the conversation!)

Taking Your Problem-Solving From Good to Great: The Missing Step

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Taking Your Problem-Solving From Good to Great
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One of your managers has two employees who argue often about which one of them is responsible for certain tasks assigned to their area…not just once, but a few times over a span of months. Other employees are complaining.

The manager has reported to you that he has had to intervene more than once to solve this, and finally sent them to a conflict management seminar last month. Yet, you just received a report that the two employees are at it again.

You’ve summoned the manager, and will ask him to terminate the two immediately.

But – are they really the problem?

Sometimes the conflict or challenge we think we have identified is not the real problem at all.

Problem-solving is a critical skill that does not receive enough attention in most executive development programs. Yet this one area is the one that most often holds professionals back from being more effective.

Most often, poor problem-solving can be due to just one critical step that is overlooked – getting to the root cause.

You see, the two employees aren’t the root cause of the problem. And because they are not, the problem will arise again and again, no matter who replaces them.

A classic problem-solving model will look something like this:

  1. Identify the problem.
  2. Determine the root cause of the problem.
  3. Come up with possible solutions.
  4. Select what you feel is the best solution.
  5. Implement the solution.
  6. Evaluate the outcome.

Many people will jump over the second step, reacting to what they see as the problem, but which is actually just a symptom of the root cause. This means that any solution they attempt may stop the immediate crisis, but it won’t really fix things.

So how do we get to the bottom of things?

A simple “5 Whys” technique will solve quite a bit.

The 5 Whys technique was developed by Sakichi Toyoda and used within the Toyota Motor Corporation at a critical stage in its manufacturing development. It’s a technique used to explore the cause-and-effect relationships underlying a particular problem.

Let’s see how it works with the example of the two employees:

Two employees continue to create a disturbance in the workplace (the problem).

  1. Why?
    They continue to argue with one another.
  2. Why?
    They do not agree on who will perform which tasks in their area.
  3. Why?
    Each thinks he knows who should perform which task, and their opinions differ.
  4.  Why?
    Their roles and duties are not well-defined so as to clarify who owns what responsibilities within the area.
  5. Why?
    The manager has not taken the time to review roles and responsibilities and to clarify these with his reports.

Now, we could carry this further and add a couple of “Whys,” and this would show that the manager’s boss has not taken the time to investigate why the manager cannot stop the problem.

You see, even though the employees are adults and they are responsible for how they conduct themselves, the root cause of the conflict, unless remedied, will tend to fuel more conflict, no matter who replaces these employees.

So before you react to a perceived problem next time, try the “Five Whys” exercise. I’m interested to see what insights this might provide for you!

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