Five Best Leadership Lessons I Learned in Kindergarten

I addressed a group of young leaders last week, and they asked me to share my leadership experience and lessons learned.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about lessons, it’s that the biggest lessons are those that are the most simple. So simple, in fact, that they should already be acquired in kindergarten.

See what you think.

1. Be yourself.

I am left-handed, and as a small schoolgirl, my teacher tried to make me shift to the right hand for writing. You can guess the result, and it was indeed disastrous. My homework took longer, letters were difficult to pen, and the stress and frustration were overwhelming. Fortunately, my mother caught wind of this “experiment,” and told the teacher to cease and desist. When I took the pen in my left hand, again, things flowed easily, and I didn’t struggle with process. The outcomes were so different – and much better.

Are you leading from your top strengths, or are you trying to copy the way your mentor leads? If the latter, you will find, sooner or later, that the toll it takes on your mental energy and ability to execute are significant.

2. Harness distractors to focus on what counts.

There was a boy named Jerry who wiggled all day long in school. The problem was, I sat next to him. And almost every time the teacher called on me, Jerry would whisper my name loudly, get me to look, and make a face. Or he’d pull on my hair when I was turned away. It became so upsetting that I burst into tears one day and ran to the teacher. Of course, when the teacher investigated, she promptly dealt with Jerry and as a result, my new seatmate was a very quiet and studious boy named Mike.

My ability to concentrate and stay on task suddenly blossomed, and I wish I had asked the teacher for help much earlier. When you are the boss, you have no one to run to but yourself. But the fact is, you can harness and eliminate most distractors simply by dealing with them differently.

Do you need closed-door time? Delegation of repetitive, but non-essential tasks that keep coming your way? Something else? Take charge. Make the change that will keep distractors from ruling your life.

3. If you are going to do it, do it well.

Marcia couldn’t wait for recess, so she would scribble quick answers on her papers, or use big and sloppy strokes when she colored. She wanted to be done so she could go outside. I’m not sure why she didn’t catch on, but teacher always made her do her papers over.

“Take some pride in your work,” she would say to Marcia, and Marcia would sigh, grab another paper, and start over.

Of course, this took longer than it would, had she done the right thing the first time and used care in completing her first iteration. And we all had to wait until Marcia completed her second go-around before we were released for recess.

It’s like that in the workplace. There are parts of our workload that are not as exciting as others. Yet, if we take pride in doing a good job of these mundane items, it will not only make the process more enjoyable, but it will also make it much more pleasant for those around you. People are watching, just like we watched Marcia.

4. Use your influence to make positive change.

It was always a tense time when we lined up to be picked for softball. You could count on it – the best hitters and runners were selected first, and by the time it got down to the last couple of kids, there was an awkward air around who would be picked next, and who would be left last as the booby prize. It was painful.

One day, one of the most popular kids did an amazing thing – Andrea picked the guy who was always last, and she picked him, first. The other kids groaned. And then they got quiet…because Andrea was glaring at them. She was the queen of influence in grade school.

Something changed that day. It got a little kinder around recess. The big kids didn’t make fun of the little ones so much, anymore. There was a little more food sharing at lunchtime. The culture had shifted.

You can shift culture simply by using your influence. Where will you start?

5. If you want people to follow, you’d better know where you are going.

“Come on!” some of the kids used to shout as we ran outside to play.

We’d tear off running, following whoever took the lead. Pretty soon, the kid in front started circling back, or zigzagging, because he or she had frankly just started out running just for the joy of it, but with no definite destination in mind. When the circling started, the other kids felt the waffling in direction, and started slowing down. They started colliding into each other, and then stopping to peel off in little groups, or walking over to play hopscotch.

“Come on!” the kid who had led the pack would cry, trying to get everyone to start running, again.

But no one was interested. If they weren’t going somewhere together in the same direction with a destination in mind, they weren’t going to participate.

I think you get the picture. Leading to feel like the head of the pack is fruitless and you will lose your followers quickly. Have an idea of where you are going and know how to share it so that everyone comes along.

What’s your best leadership lesson?