When Your Team Member is Stuck in Story:

Helping Them Take Back Control

Do you love stories? So do I!

Stories are entertaining – and they help us make meaning of our world.

Some of my favorite stories are of the Sherlock Holmes type, where solving the mystery to bring solution is key.

But some tales are frustrating, like the kind in which your employee seems stuck. This kind affects everyone on the team. It slows down productivity… energy… motivation…

Is one of your team members holding you hostage to the same script? If you hear any of the following lines on a regular basis, you need to help your team member turn the page:

• I can’t because…

• It will have to wait until…

• That would be nice, but…

• I would have/could have, but…

I am often called to coach teams, and once coached a small, but key team to help them perform at a higher level. The talents were there. The desire was there. But the numbers were down. And the energy was low.

At one point early on, I asked them to walk me through a current project to see how they would describe the process of working together. And we hit the jackpot.

Terry, Laurie, and Martin began laying out the pieces of the project, and shared who was responsible for which part of the whole. Then I asked them to draft a timeline to show me how this would happen, and at what pace. At a certain point in the process, Laurie revealed that she was “stuck in story” – that she was unable to work around a chronic issue to move at a more acceptable pace.

“I can’t meet that deadline, Terry, and you know it. It will have to wait until I complete my part of the Blue project we are currently working on.”

“Oh– you still have that piece to complete?” asked Terry.

Martin joined in. “Can’t we figure out a different way to pace these things?”

“It’s not that – it’s just all the interruptions I get during the day. I can’t just tell people to go away.”

At this point, I interrupted.

“Are you saying that the interruptions are what is holding you back from being able to complete your work in a more timely fashion?”

“Yes,” Laurie answered. “The guys here know that my office is the first on the hallway, and that I’m seen as point person for the team. That means people coming in and out all day.”

I turned to Terry and Martin. “How does this slow down what you are able to complete?”

“Are you kidding?” said Martin. “We are constantly telling leadership they will have to wait because of this.”

“Okay,” I answered. “So what’s the solution to this?”

“You mean to the interruptions?” asked Laurie. “There is none. Like I said, my office is first, we are asked to be responsive, and if it isn’t office visits, it’s e-mails and phone calls. All day. I could be much faster – but I can’t because of this.”

Laurie was stuck in her story – the story that she had to operate in a certain way because of her role, even though it held her work back – which held back the entire team.

It was time to rewrite her story.

“Laurie, let’s brainstorm,” I said. “We need Terry and Martin’s help, here. If you weren’t there in that office to field interruptions, what would happen?”

“Good grief, if they couldn’t find me, they’d barrage me with e-mails and phone calls on my cell.”

“Your cell?”  I asked. “Colleagues here call you on your cell for work questions?”

“Well, yes – if they can’t find me. They know they can chase me down on my cell. And then, the e-mails keep coming.”

“Laurie, what would happen if you turned off your cell and scheduled time twice daily to look at your e-mails?”

Terry sat up. “I said that months ago!” he said. “Why does the entire work floor have to hold you hostage, Laurie?”

“Hostage?” responded Laurie. “That sounds like I’m a prisoner.”

“Well,” I said, “The way you describe things, you have pretty much said so. I mean, you’ve said you cannot control it. But…”

“But, what?” she said.

“But – you can control yourself and what you choose to do with the barrage coming your way.”

“But if I do that, I’ll have piles of e-mails and calls to return – and that will put me farther behind.”

“Laurie, it sounds like people are depending on you to drop everything and help at any time,” I countered.

“Hey,” said Martin, “Patti’s right. Actually, you have a bunch of people who look to you to help them out all the time when it’s actually not your job or place.”

“Well…” Laurie got still. “I guess it’s true.”

“What are you getting out of fielding these cries for help all day long, Laurie?” I asked.

She got quiet.

“Laurie,” I moved forward gently, “Are you getting some satisfaction out of helping?”

“Well, yes,” she said. “And if I am honest with myself, I guess that most of it isn’t even related to our department. I know I said I was point person – but it’s much more than that. In truth, maybe it’s just a way to feel valuable.”

“Valuable?” asked Terry. “You think you aren’t valuable to our team?”

And then, our real work began. And although we had to do some deep work, it paid off.

I’m happy to report that a few months later, the team members were working at top performance, with all members understanding and appreciating each other’s value.

Don’t you love a story with happy ending? I certainly do!

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Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.