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Five Best Leadership Lessons I Learned in Kindergarten

February 22, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

I addressed a group of young leaders last week, and they asked me to share my leadership experience and lessons learned.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about lessons, it’s that the biggest lessons are those that are the most simple. So simple, in fact, that they should already be acquired in kindergarten.

See what you think.

1. Be yourself.

I am left-handed, and as a small schoolgirl, my teacher tried to make me shift to the right hand for writing. You can guess the result, and it was indeed disastrous. My homework took longer, letters were difficult to pen, and the stress and frustration were overwhelming. Fortunately, my mother caught wind of this “experiment,” and told the teacher to cease and desist. When I took the pen in my left hand, again, things flowed easily, and I didn’t struggle with process. The outcomes were so different – and much better.

Are you leading from your top strengths, or are you trying to copy the way your mentor leads? If the latter, you will find, sooner or later, that the toll it takes on your mental energy and ability to execute are significant.

2. Harness distractors to focus on what counts.

There was a boy named Jerry who wiggled all day long in school. The problem was, I sat next to him. And almost every time the teacher called on me, Jerry would whisper my name loudly, get me to look, and make a face. Or he’d pull on my hair when I was turned away. It became so upsetting that I burst into tears one day and ran to the teacher. Of course, when the teacher investigated, she promptly dealt with Jerry and as a result, my new seatmate was a very quiet and studious boy named Mike.

My ability to concentrate and stay on task suddenly blossomed, and I wish I had asked the teacher for help much earlier. When you are the boss, you have no one to run to but yourself. But the fact is, you can harness and eliminate most distractors simply by dealing with them differently.

Do you need closed-door time? Delegation of repetitive, but non-essential tasks that keep coming your way? Something else? Take charge. Make the change that will keep distractors from ruling your life.

3. If you are going to do it, do it well.

Marcia couldn’t wait for recess, so she would scribble quick answers on her papers, or use big and sloppy strokes when she colored. She wanted to be done so she could go outside. I’m not sure why she didn’t catch on, but teacher always made her do her papers over.

“Take some pride in your work,” she would say to Marcia, and Marcia would sigh, grab another paper, and start over.

Of course, this took longer than it would, had she done the right thing the first time and used care in completing her first iteration. And we all had to wait until Marcia completed her second go-around before we were released for recess.

It’s like that in the workplace. There are parts of our workload that are not as exciting as others. Yet, if we take pride in doing a good job of these mundane items, it will not only make the process more enjoyable, but it will also make it much more pleasant for those around you. People are watching, just like we watched Marcia.

4. Use your influence to make positive change.

It was always a tense time when we lined up to be picked for softball. You could count on it – the best hitters and runners were selected first, and by the time it got down to the last couple of kids, there was an awkward air around who would be picked next, and who would be left last as the booby prize. It was painful.

One day, one of the most popular kids did an amazing thing – Andrea picked the guy who was always last, and she picked him, first. The other kids groaned. And then they got quiet…because Andrea was glaring at them. She was the queen of influence in grade school.

Something changed that day. It got a little kinder around recess. The big kids didn’t make fun of the little ones so much, anymore. There was a little more food sharing at lunchtime. The culture had shifted.

You can shift culture simply by using your influence. Where will you start?

5. If you want people to follow, you’d better know where you are going.

“Come on!” some of the kids used to shout as we ran outside to play.

We’d tear off running, following whoever took the lead. Pretty soon, the kid in front started circling back, or zigzagging, because he or she had frankly just started out running just for the joy of it, but with no definite destination in mind. When the circling started, the other kids felt the waffling in direction, and started slowing down. They started colliding into each other, and then stopping to peel off in little groups, or walking over to play hopscotch.

“Come on!” the kid who had led the pack would cry, trying to get everyone to start running, again.

But no one was interested. If they weren’t going somewhere together in the same direction with a destination in mind, they weren’t going to participate.

I think you get the picture. Leading to feel like the head of the pack is fruitless and you will lose your followers quickly. Have an idea of where you are going and know how to share it so that everyone comes along.

What’s your best leadership lesson?

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Are You Tired of Visioning?

February 15, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

The Importance of Short-Term Wins

Sometimes I get tired about visioning the future and setting long-range goals. These are certainly important – but they aren’t enough to keep me on track.

How about you?

Short-term wins and intermediate goals are the fuel for getting there. And you can leverage this with your team to keep them motivated and inspired.

Years ago, I sat with a CEO and talked about how to keep his healthcare system viable and vibrant.

“I’m tired, Patti,” he said. “Look at this,” and he pulled out a heavy drawer full of notebooks. “These are all strategic plans. Through the years, we’ve hired expensive consultants to come and walk through the process with us and all we have to show for it is…paper.” He sighed. “The more I look at these, the more tired I get. The future seems so far off – and we aren’t moving forward. What good is a strategic plan, anyway?”

He shut the drawer. “I’m beginning to believe we’ll never get there. We’ve set up 3-year action plans, designated responsibilities – but, somehow, we all get too busy doing the day-to-day stuff that this place requires.”

This guy looked pretty tired. Bone tired. Discouraged.

“What about your short-term plan?” I asked.

“Short-term plan?”

“Yes, a plan that sets key milestones and success indicators in 3-4 month increments.”

He paused. “Why would I do that? I know very well what to do to get there.”

“Well,” I responded. “How’s that working for you and your executive team?”

It’s not just a matter of knowing how to get there – if you don’t have a plan that has intermediate goals and milestones, you not only lack measurements to show you how well you are headed there, but you also miss out on a key secret to staying motivated – and keeping your team motivated, as well.

And when motivation is gone, nothing happens.

So how do you set these?

Take your one-year plan and reverse-engineer it – what are the major projects and steps to get there? What should you be seeing if you are on course by the end of Q1, Q2, Q3, and Q4? In other words, how will you know you are on the path to success?

When you are able to make these indicators tangible so that you can see you are hitting the mark, then you are on your way to sustaining momentum and energy. And you need that. Not only you, but your team needs it. It helps them to know that they are doing well, on the right track, and meeting motivation.

No small potatoes. Because keeping a team motivated when you have huge goals can be challenging.

So here’s my challenge to you: get with your team and look at your one-year plan. Break it up, assigning major projects, deadlines, the people responsible, and key indicators that show these projects are successfully meeting the goals of the one-year plan. This is a great team-building exercise, and you will have set in place the motivators that will keep you and your team on track.

Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Is Your Personal Mission Holding the Company Back?

February 8, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

You have a clear sense of mission, and you are values-driven. And because of these, you’ve contributed great things to your organization or business.

But lately, you’ve sensed some tension. As the company continues to grow, you are getting directives from the top, and they don’t align with what you know to be working. Further, others on the team are jostling around with some ideas that are outside the box.

What’s wrong? Do these people just not know how to stick with a plan? What’s the problem?

Cynthia called for my help when she intuited that her team was restless. “I’m getting a lot of pushback about our annual plan,” she said. “It’s worked quite well for us and I’m not about to let a couple of people who want more power upset things.”

“Tell me more, Cynthia,” I countered. “Are these two team members the only ones pushing back?”

“Well, no,” she admitted. “My board has brought in some out-of-the-box ideas lately – but you know how boards are – they read something or hear something, and suddenly it’s the answer to everything. But it’s happening more and more.”

I did a little more investigating and learned that, six years prior, Cynthia had been first pick for this leadership role. She had shown herself adept at putting a team and plan together that produced amazing results wherever she was assigned, and had been promoted three times within the last 10 years because of this prowess. Each time, she reached or exceeded the goals set for her.

But in this new role, Cynthia had found a breaking point. Her ability to lead team and satisfy top leadership was diminishing. Even though she was firm in her own ability to succeed, the feedback she was getting was frustrating.

After carefully talking through where the company was headed and how she approached her work, we sat down together.

“Cynthia, I’d like for you to remain open to what I have to say, so that we can explore this together. You’ve succeeded in a lot of areas within this company and at others. You have a great ability to form a team and a plan and to produce extraordinary results. But you have hit a roadblock. It isn’t your team. And it isn’t your board.”

“Are you saying it’s me?” Cynthia looked shocked.

“Well…here is what I’m observing. You are accomplished, you know what you are about, you are confident in handling whatever is thrown your way. You’ve always had a clear sense of personal mission that has done great service to the organization well. This has served you well up to recent times – but it’s now getting in your way. It looks like you are having trouble dealing with some of the complex cross-cultural situations the company is now facing due to expansion in China and Europe. And it appears that this tension is due to a firm attachment to your personal mission.”

“My personal mission?”

“Yes, your personal mission. Cynthia, you have a clear picture of who you are and what you are about. You have a firm direction and lead from a set of wonderful values. The problem is, the company has grown more complex, and your personal mission – the picture of how you will lead and deal with issues – has been left behind.

Cynthia looked stunned. “Are you calling me inflexible?”

“Let’s just say that we need to work on your leadership agility,” I countered. “This is not uncommon. In a complex, changing business world, acquiring agility is key. You are fielding a lot of changes, both culturally and organizationally. And you deserve to step into more success.”

Leadership agility is the ability to take effective action in complex, rapidly changing conditions. It requires that we let go of what has worked in the past, and ask ourselves what will work, now. It requires stepping out of an “expert mindset” and into that of a “learner mindset.” It means asking questions, being open to different perspectives.

Agility requires that you are able to see connections everywhere, looking at an issue from multiple angles and seeing the ways that different perspectives overlap. This exercise in itself opens the mind to seeing more possibility. Or more simply put, you get yourself out of the weeds in order to see more clearly.

Have you been called inflexible, or is your leadership being questioned lately?

It may be time to revisit your belief around your personal mission – how you will lead process, involve others, produce, and all other aspects of your leadership.

For more on developing leaders for a complex world, see Jennifer Garvey Berger’s book, Changing on the Job: Developing Leaders for a Complex World

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

The Problem with Women Rising Above

February 1, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Monkey See, Monkey Do

You probably remember the old saying, “Monkey see, monkey do!”

The reference to monkeys is because researchers have noted that when one monkey sees another monkey do something, it quite often does likewise. So we use this old saying when describing the foolishness of one person mimicking another without thinking.

And although you may think that this occurs only with children, or because of a lack of sound reasoning skills, there is actually a scientific explanation as to why all of us do this to a certain extent without knowing it.

In fact, your ability to lead is probably being affected right now.

How can you identify where this is happening, and stop it from compromising your effectiveness?

First, it’s necessary to understand why we copy each other without realizing it.

We are social beings, and Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy has been revised in recent years to reflect that at the foundation of the pyramid is the need to belong. This means that we are wired and hungry to connect and collaborate as a part of a larger body or group.

To help us do just that, our brains are actually wired to act as “social glue” so that we can empathize and connect. Researchers have observed that the mirror neurons, specialized cells in the brain, facilitate this at a subconscious level.

The problem is, that as we seek to connect, empathize, and to belong, we can meld into larger group dynamics. We can blend into the tribe without realizing it and adopt behaviors and mindsets that don’t serve us well.

Think about it. Reflect on the five people with whom you surround yourself on a daily basis. Not necessarily those with whom you feel a particular closeness, but people with whom you are in contact, such as colleagues, co-workers.

A quick assessment will show you whether you are in the right place or not:

Where are members of your group headed – somewhere, or nowhere? Are these people action-oriented and goal-focused, or are they wishing and hoping their career or life would change?
How do these people govern themselves? Are they values-driven, directional, and proactive – or reactive to and blaming the world around them?
What does the group language reflect? Is there a positive tone, or one of negativity?
What does the group focus reveal? Is the focus on the world around them and how to contribute to make it even better – or are they playing “auditory sitcom,” where they talk mainly about other people and situations?
Who is the weakest link in the chain within the group? Surprisingly, this is the one who has the most power to hold the group right where it is – stuck.

If, after diligent assessment, you see room for improvement, as yourself – what are you going to do about this? You can either sink back into complacency – or move the needle by making some game-changing choices.

Up to you – what’s your next move?

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Why Most High-Potential Executives Over-Promise and Under-Deliver

January 25, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Are you over-committed and feeling behind the Eight Ball? Even though it’s stressful, why you do this may shock you. In fact, you may also be getting some secret gratification from it!

The problem is, your professional (and personal!) reputation is suffering because of it. Your credibility is low, and you are missing out on bigger, better professional opportunities.

Ready to make a change?

Let’s take a look at why you may be over-promising and under-delivering.

Which of these scenarios fits you?

1. You want to look good.

If this is you, you may be worried that you are not seen as competitive, or that you aren’t pulling your weight. If so, it’s time to have a conversation with the decision-makers that are allocating your workload, to see how they feel you are doing, and what you might do more or less of, in order to be at your most effective.

2. You are eager to please.

If this is you, you may need to look like a good person. Signs are that you are volunteering to help others with their work when it compromises your ability to accomplish yours, or that you accept work allocated to you that isn’t really your area. If you see yourself here, it’s time to examine whether or not you are seeking to be liked, rather than to be respected.

3. You want to feel like you are accomplishing more.

If this is you, it may be that you have unrealistic expectations of yourself, or you receive your sense of self-worth from achieving. Bad news. This will never stop. You will never reach the point when you feel you are doing “enough.” Time to shift how you receive your self-worth. Not sure what you bring to the table, or need additional confidence, credibility, and currency? See my Leadership DNA program and get on the list.

4. You really don’t want to do what you promised.

This is the hidden deal – you may be suffering from Self-Completion Theory – completing your identity by engaging in activities that reinforce this. And often, people get gratification from simply promising to help others without follow through simply because they already got what they came for – the feeling that they are a good person. Is this you? Time to examine your self-image and the criteria you use to define it.

5. You haven’t confronted the time and energy it actually requires to complete the project.

Okay, face it. If this is you, you keep trying the same way of estimating the time it takes, and you keep coming up short. The problem is, others know it, too. You come up with excuses. You dodge offices and conversations, until you can provide something that you know is sub-par – all because you either under-estimated your own time, or the availability of others to deliver on their part of the project you need to complete. Get realistic. Add 10% more time than you would normally estimate, and test this. Need 15%? Make the change.

Under-promising and over-delivering is always a good way to build your credibility – and get back on track, if you need to do so.

Where in your work or life are you over-promising?

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.