Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

trust

When Your Executive Drops the Ball

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When Your Executive Drops the Ball
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Every leader has encountered a situation where one of his executive team members has messed up. It happens.

The problem is, in the heat of the moment, if the blooper is big, we might tend to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

Statements such as “I can’t believe you did that!” or “What were you thinking?” can really shut down any further dialogue. They can also fuel negative emotions and shame. These don’t help the situation.

What can you do to avoid creating more problems?

How can you respond in a supportive and proactive way so that the two of you can work from mess to solution?

Here are three questions that make this simpler than you think, helping you to turn a “bungle” into a positive coaching opportunity.

1. Focus on desired outcomes.

Pause. Breathe. Then, ask yourself, “What outcome do we need to achieve here?” This will help quell your emotions and keep dialogue productive.

2. Focus on the future.

Ask your executive, “What do we need to do from here?” This allows the executive to see that you are working as a team. At the same time, you are encouraging your executive’s critical thinking skills and problem-solving abilities.

3. Focus on support.

Follow with the question, “How can I help?” Reinforce your show of support and your confidence in the executive’s ability to move forward.

The way you handle crisis can be alienating or team-strengthening. You’ll also be modeling this for others, fostering trust and support for growth in your organization.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

How High Is Your Connectivity Quotient?

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Your ability to influence and impact others requires that you build bonds and trust. To do this, you must be able to connect genuinely – and well.

How can you increase your connectivity in a world of urgency and speed?

This actually is a matter of life and death, if we are to extrapolate from MIT professor and researcher Sherry Turkle, who wrote the book Reclaiming Conversations. Turkle reveals that because of the increasing decline of empathy among the younger generations, we are now witnessing depression, anxiety, and stress climbing quickly. In fact, Turkle observes that we are seeing the most severe depression in teenagers today that we have ever noted in the entire written history of psychology.

The business world suffers from a lack of connection, as well.

In my leadership and culture work, one of my most sought-after management trainings is “Leading from the Heart,” where people learn how to reconnect and flex their empathy to create a more positive and productive work experience. I cannot tell you how many participants continue to stress that this learning has changed their world at work.

People are hungry for connection.

Superficial Connectedness

Turkle cites “superficial connectedness” as a chief culprit. This interferes with deeper, more meaningful exchanges and opportunities to reflect upon and synthesize information for greater critical thinking.

A chief factor is technology.

It facilitates an influx of information that increases daily, and it enables us to communicate at warp speed. This gift is often misused, and the sheer magnitude of incoming can create an imposed need to respond just as quickly.

There are other factors that impel us to respond to the tyranny of the urgent.

Jeff Bezos is quoted to have said, “Go fast and break things!”

Words and phrases like velocity and warp speed are touted as prized – and indeed, the global marketplace shifts constantly as the earth rotates.

However, must this become the new culture?

Because when it comes to connection, speed can be dangerous.

As speed pushes us forward, our personal resources to slow down and connect with others diminish. Along with this, empathy begins to wither.

How can you begin to make your way back to making meaningful connections in a business world that assuredly continues to gain speed?

Here are three ways that will help you get back on track to make connecting an intentional and rewarding experience:

  1. Place boundaries around your technology use.

A study by global tech protection and support company Asurion reveals that the average person struggles to move beyond 10 minutes without checking their phone. In fact, this study reveals that Americans check their phone on average once every 12 minutes, burying their faces in their phones 80 times a day.

Get creative with how you minimize your technology when you are meeting to connect with others.

    • Place the phone on “airplane mode.”

If this idea makes you cringe, begin by giving your phone to your assistant and alerting him or her to let you know if certain urgent calls come in.

    • Turn your computer’s e-mail alerts off.

Studies show that each distraction makes you lose 20 minutes of focus – in other words, it will take you a full 20 minutes to get your head back into concentrating on what you were doing prior to the distraction.

    • Have an inviting seating area in your office or meeting place with no tech devices such as computers or iPads.

Better yet, ask if you can walk outside together as you talk. This is not only invigorating, but it removes all office distractions and allows for deeper conversations. Old-fashioned. Retro. Connective.

  1. Flex your empathy by reviving your deep listening skills.

Are you truly listening to connect, or are you just waiting for a pause so that you can jump in?

Check yourself to make sure you are giving full focus to the other person. Ask questions – and ask the “follow-up question” to go deeper. Listen to learn and not to fix. Ask to understand and not to get to the bottom of things. Observe to widen your perspective, and not to make a quick judgment.

  1. Invest in your connections.

In such a fast-paced world, your circles of influence are probably bursting. Identify the handful that you feel you need to play an active and meaningful part in your world, and plan connection with them. That’s breakfast, coffee, golf, or some face-to-face activity that gives you time to have different and more rewarding conversations.

Technology and the speed of change are here for good. Let’s make sure our ability to make and sustain meaningful connections rises to meet them.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Three Micro-Connections to Increase Positive Team Culture

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Three Micro-Connections to Increase Positive Team Culture
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Human beings need connection.

The workplace suffers from a lack of it, due to the demands and pace of the work at hand. Virtual and semi-virtual teams are hit harder than those who occupy the same physical space.

Suggestions such as more team building and socials fall flat. They not only require time from busy schedules, they are often impractical, sporadic connections; and, thus, are not enough to build bonds and trust.

Without bonds and trust – the results of human connection – your team will experience lowered engagement, minimized trust, and a lack of commitment (and you know the kinds of things that come from that!).

How can you rectify this?

The five-minute morning huddle, whether in-person or virtual, is a good start. However, grouping to communicate and keep each other informed does not satisfy the deeper hunger to connect.

Three Micro-Connections

The good news is that there are three micro-connections you and your team can immediately adopt that will strengthen powerful human connection, and which require no more time on anyone’s part.

These micro-connects, when not incorporated into your behaviors, are actually the first things to suffer in a fast-paced work environment. Check yourself on how well you are doing with them now – and seek to increase them in all your interactions.

Here they are:

  1. Increase your eye contact.

When you are in a conversation with others, do you find your eyes wander? Be intentional about your eye contact with the other person. Becoming comfortable with eye contact is a first important step to connecting on a deeper level. It says, “I recognize you. I’m present and paying attention to you.”

  1. Monitor your tone of voice.

Do your tone of voice and pace of your words reflect stress or hurry? If so, you are implicitly communicating that you don’t have time for the person on the other end of the conversation. Take quiet stock of this the next time you speak with people, especially when on the phone.

  1. Begin each conversation with a personal connection before diving into business.

Take 30 seconds to a minute and ask the other team member how they are, how the week is going, or another personal “connection” that shows you care about them as a human being. Re-establish connection before diving into the agenda at hand. This is a big one for most busy executives – and a big “miss” if they don’t incorporate it.

These three micro-connections will support a more positive, caring team culture that says, “You belong. You are important.”

They bring meaningful validation, which is something we all seek.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Why We Don’t Have That Critical Conversation

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Why We Don’t Have That Critical Conversation
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When was the last time that you looked forward to having a difficult conversation?

Most of us run from confrontation. Consequently, we carry the weight from unresolved conflict and sub-par relationships.

What keeps us from having more emotional courage to confront?

There are 3 top reasons why:

1. You don’t feel safe.

You may feel that the difficult conversation you need to have will place you in a vulnerable position. For example, the person you may need to confront is your boss.

If that person has a history of questioning the motives of the message-bearer and judging them, rather than to focus on the issue and solve it proactively, this will feel unsafe. You will worry about negative repercussions such as branding you, and this will cause you to hesitate clearing the air.

If this is your situation, you will want to weigh the pros and cons of addressing the issue to come to some sort of resolve. If you do not, you will carry the burden of stress and discomfort from an unresolved situation or relationship, which hurts not only you, but all others involved and those around you.

2. You fear loss.

You may feel that by confronting, you will risk being rejected or unloved. If you identify with this, you may have an element of “people pleaser” in you, which requires some work.

People-pleasing weakens the effectiveness of leadership and threatens the integrity of your decision-making.

A first step in realigning this is to change the expectations you hold for yourself. Fact: You cannot please everyone – but you can certainly earn and hold their respect.

As you consider having a difficult conversation, ask yourself what you fear happening most. More likely than not, you will recognize that your base fear is not rational. The chances are slim that the whole world will turn their back on your leadership if you make an unpopular decision.

Ask yourself what positive things you can gain by having the conversation, and identify how this will positively affect your work, life, and others affected by the current negative state – a great start to lifting up emotional courage.

3. You aren’t comfortable with negative emotions.

Human beings don’t like discomfort, and most of us have not been taught the value of negative emotions.

They therefore make us mentally and physically uncomfortable and we seek to avoid them. Instead of this, consider managing them.

Negative emotions are really key indicators that invite you to pay more attention to the situations that have created them. Use these smart and helpful alerts to decipher what about the situation or problem is upsetting. This will help you to widen your lens as you consider solutions.

Where, within these three areas, do you need to strengthen your emotional courage so that you can become more effective in your leadership?

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

How to Retain Your Top Talent

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How to Retain Your Top Talent
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What keeps CEOs up at night?

Lots of things.

But their #1 concern is attracting and retaining great talent.

And many companies do better at attracting this talent than keeping it.

How much are you losing if you can’t figure this out?

That depends. If you need to retain highly complex positions (managers, software developers and such), you risk missing out up to 800% more productivity, because superior talent is up to 8 times more productive (Keller and Meaney, Leading Organizations).

What is the answer?

Make your company so attractive that no one wants to leave.

Here are five ways to do this:

1.  Develop a high-trust culture.

Trust serves as the foundation for all else. Trust is the incubator for healthy communication, collaboration, empowerment, productivity, profitability…in short, all components that support working at highest and best levels.

Does your company lean on “control and monitor” behaviors or heavy compliance?

These are early signs of a problem. How do you begin to turn this around?

It begins with you. Determine how trustworthy you are as CEO, because your company will rate no higher than its leadership. Download the trust infographic and rank yourself – and then ask those closest to you to do the same. Compare. Where do you need to begin developing more trust with your people?

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

2.  Foster a company-wide growth mindset.

This kind of mindset is the stuff of motivation and innovation.

A fixed mindset reflects a closed attitude. Language includes phrases like, “That idea won’t work,” or “It can’t be done right now.”

Growth mindset attitude and language, on the other hand, will reflect phrases such as “How might this work? How might this be possible?” Failure is seen as a way to learn and not as a reason to stop trying.

If you notice there are just a handful of people always making decisions for everyone else, this is an indicator that you are not fostering a growth mindset in your employees.

Where can you start?

Begin by what is right in front of you – applaud all new ideas. When asking for input, make it a rule that whenever someone volunteers a new idea, that the first person to speak after that must say something positive about the idea, whether they agree with it or not. This sends the message that all people have something valuable to contribute, and it fosters creativity.

3.  Recognize and reward the right things.

Are you emotionally biased toward certain employees and against others?

On a company-wide basis, make sure that your systems and processes for recognition are standardized. Form a taskforce to evaluate this.

And then, have this taskforce identify what should be recognized. Go wide! The way in which you acknowledge things such as caring and supportive behaviors can go a long way; these certainly are influences on business outcomes. And on a personal basis, please take the time to acknowledge contributions and jobs well done. It is free to mention people in meetings to thank them for their efforts – and this kind of approach fosters a caring culture that goes far.

4.  Empower your people.

If you feel your people need higher accountability, it may be your systems and processes and not a lack of talent on their part. Start with the basics. Make sure you have clearly outlined expectations for their role and responsibilities.

Then, work together to agree on top goals and priorities for their area of responsibility. Can you show them how these support company-wide goals? Without this foundation, even the best in talent will operate somewhat hesitantly or begin to get lost in the weeds. Make sure you have agreed on a system of reporting that reflects these goals, and which relieves you from chasing your executives for answers (the latter of which is a real trust-killer). By setting this structure in motion, you will empower your talent to move forward with confidence and perform at their best.

5.  Invest in leadership development at every level.

Learning and development is a key concern for companies world-wide. And company talent seeks opportunities for growth and career development. Providing employees at every level with leadership development opportunities meets both objectives well.

When you invest in this, you foster greater performance and contribution – and you can also more easily identify rising stars. And as your company talent receives this focused support, they will feel recognized by the company, and motivated by their growth and future opportunities within. It is surprisingly cost-effective to implement a company-wide leadership development effort. And the ROI is exponential (Note: Executive coaching typically yields an ROI of 4-10 times the initial investment; training with a group coaching component can yield similar results.)

Retaining your top talent requires a healthy and exciting culture. If your culture needs a “reboot,” please understand that this takes time and effort. The payoff, however, is exponential, being key to current profitability and future success.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.