• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

  • About
  • Consulting
  • Training
  • Speaking
  • Blog
  • Contact

trust

When Your Feedback Doesn’t Work

March 27, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

When Your Feedback Doesn’t Work
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Feedback is crucial.

It is necessary for aligning expectations, solving problems, improving performance, and developing talent – all the things that increase the bottom line.

But often, feedback doesn’t work.

In fact, more than half of your managers may not be having the difficult conversations needed to hold people accountable.

What’s the problem?

A survey of 750 HR professionals by Sibson Consulting and World at Work revealed that 63% of executives believe that the biggest challenge of performance management is managers’ unwillingness to have difficult conversations.

And this may be because when managers do deliver feedback, it is poorly received.

According to a study by Globoforce (2011), even when managers tackle these conversations with the best of intentions, employees are often left feeling resentful or discouraged – 55% of employees believe their review is inaccurate or unfair, and one in four say it is the thing they dread most in their working lives.

I work with companies to develop leadership and align culture. If a particular company’s management is struggling to hold its people accountable, I find it is usually due to poor feedback delivery and follow-through.

Here are five top reasons likely to keep a manager’s feedback from working:

1. The feedback isn’t timely.

I hear more dismay and resentment from employees who have just received their yearly evaluation. They cite being surprised and hurt at hearing for the first time a dissatisfaction with their performance dating back 12 months.

“Why did he wait so long to tell me?” asked one employee. “I feel like I’ve been judged for a year on something I could have fixed long ago.”

Another said, “I rectified that situation 10 months ago – why am I getting cited for it as though it’s still a problem?”

The answer to this is timely feedback. Teach your managers to address problem behavior quickly so that the employee in question can benefit most. Not only will the situation be fresh in their minds, they can also get on track to course-correcting much sooner. And instead of writing this up 12 months later as a problem, your manager can talk about the employee’s improved behavior.

2. The feedback doesn’t seem clear or relevant.

When addressing problem behavior, your manager needs to remember to:

a. Be specific about the behavior. It is not enough to say, “You need to stop acting like a drill sergeant,” which is a judgment and open to many interpretations. Instead, the manager must point out specifics about the person’s presence that require change. To use the drill sergeant illustration, is it language? Tone of voice? The closed or intimidating body language using folded arms, leaning into someone’s face, etc.?

b. Relate how the behavior has a negative business impact. Your manager needs to coach his employee – not just course-correct. Part of this is to relate the problem behavior to a negative impact on the business so that the employee can understand cause and effect.

For example, “When you use that harsh tone of voice, it can feel intimidating or offensive to others, which causes them to refrain from collaborating with you. If we don’t have a team that can work well together, we won’t be able to produce the results we need in order to support the business.”

3. The feedback doesn’t offer a clear picture of the desired behavior that should replace the current problem behavior.

Sometimes, employees just don’t want to change. But the more likely scenario is that they want to do well, but they simply don’t know how. Just because your manager has identified the problem behavior doesn’t mean the employee knows how to replace this with one that is acceptable.

Be sure your manager describes in detail the new behavior they want to see. For example, if an employee has been conveying disapproval or aloofness in meetings with body language, the manager should give a very specific behavioral alternative. For example, give details such as, “Instead of crossing your arms and leaning back during meetings, try leaning forward just a bit (which connotes interest), and keep your arms at your side. This will eliminate the appearance that you don’t care or that you disapprove of the message you are currently hearing.”

4. The employee doesn’t trust the person delivering the feedback.

This is a tough one. If your manager is perceived as not having the best interests of his employee in mind, the latter will not receive the feedback well, due to a lack of trust. If your manager has effectuated steps 1-3 above and is still not getting anywhere, it’s time for the manager to check in with a different question, such as, “Sandra, you and I have talked about your tendency to overlook deadlines, and you have pledged to correct this. Yet, the problem persists. Help me to understand what’s happening. Can you shed more light on this?”

This approach should reveal whether there is something else behind the lack of change, such as a basic resentment and feeling of unfairness on the part of the employee, or another problem of which the manager was unaware.

5. The employee’s identity is at stake.

It can happen that feedback simply doesn’t register because it threatens the employee’s sense of self.

Hearing feedback that doesn’t register with that sense of self can cause an employee to become defensive or feel overwhelmed and unable to respond. The employee may insist on disbelieving the feedback since they cannot “see” their behavior being a problem or having a negative impact.

A standoff will not be productive.

Instead, consider having your manager engage the employee in a series of small experiments as a way to coach the latter into more awareness and better management of self.

For example, if Max frequently ignores his fellow employees in the workplace, your manager can help him with a small, but focused goal to connect with each of them once daily. Have the manager ask Max to observe how his fellow employees react to him over the next few weeks and report back. Most likely, Max’s coworkers will begin to warm up to him and include him in more conversations. Debriefing with the manager will begin to help Max develop more awareness around how his lack of connectivity has adversely affected his work relationships – and a way to turn this around.

Teaching your managers the gift of honest and productive feedback is manifold. Far beyond outlining standards, it can provide your employees with a growth path that benefits them, their team, and your organization. Take charge of this process by modeling this with your executive team so that you can begin to integrate true accountability into your culture.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

How to Remedy Mediocre Team Trust

March 6, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

How to Remedy Mediocre Team Trust
Image Credit: Shutterstock

How much is enough when it comes to trust on your team? You may feel it’s pretty good – and that it’s “good enough.”

But your organization is suffering if you feel this way. The company will be missing out on so many things that ultimately affect its profitability and the return on shareholder investment.

Truth be told, you are suffering, as well. It’s just subtle enough that you may not realize it.

Are you compromising your best leadership because of mediocre team trust? 

Following are some things that high trust can do for you, your team, and the organization.

1. Impact of Trust at the Individual Level

  • You bond with others to enjoy better relationships.
  • You feel personally and professionally protected, knowing others have your best interests in mind.
  • You are assured that you can count on others to inspire you to contribute your best and be a part of the larger picture.

2. Impact of Trust at the Team Level

  • You enjoy more collaboration. It feels safe to process challenges, solve problems, and reach goals together. Conflict is dealt with so that relationships are respected and issues are solved.
  • You reap enhanced creativity and innovation. You feel comfortable sharing new ideas and taking risks. You feel comfortable that your team members have your back, and you are willing to have theirs.
  • Team productivity soars, and morale is high.

3. Impact of Trust at the Organizational Level

  • Heightened employee engagement and satisfaction override decreased turnover.
  • There is increased productivity and profitability.
  • The company enjoys a higher return on shareholder investment.

How do you begin to build greater trust on your team?

1. Review with your team the anatomy of trust.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Become well-acquainted with what makes up trust so that you can begin to identify where the team needs to grow.

2. Use this as an opportunity to begin building trust.

Have all team members rate the team as a whole (as if the team were one individual).

  • Where does the team do well?
  • Identify the top three areas where the team has a growth opportunity.

Then, brainstorm together on a plan to work on these.

  • What are first steps?
  • How will you measure success?
  • And how will you hold each other accountable?

The benefits of high trust on a team are many. I challenge you to get excited around this and to build additional trust on your team. Let me know how it works!


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Why You Need to Get Personal with Your Team

February 27, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Why You Need to Get Personal with Your Team
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Many years ago, I oversaw the development for five hospitals. It was a great joy to develop the team for some near-impossible goals that my area had been given, and to reach these successfully.

I loved my team and would have done just about anything for them. But sadly, they didn’t know that. In fact, quite the contrary.

Sharon sat down one afternoon and closed the door.

“You don’t even know us,” she said. “I bet you don’t even know that Alex has gotten engaged. Do you even care about us?”

Are you connected with your own team?

How do you know?

You can imagine that I was crushed. My introvertish nature coupled with a high drive for results had been seen as aloof and uncaring – far from the truth.

The effects of not being personally connected with your team can be devastating – a low level of trust resulting in poor performance and a host of other undesirable behaviors. The symptoms are such that you may blame these on the larger culture of the organization or on other external factors.

Yet, the culprit may simply be that your team doesn’t feel connected with you.

Leaders struggle with this, and we play a lot of head games.

We may want to appear in control to assure the team all is well. We may ask ourselves if being seen as vulnerable is risky to our position of being “in charge.” And some of us question the relevancy of connecting beyond the professional framework.

Yet, without humanizing ourselves, we can appear cold, uncaring, wooden, untouchable…the list goes on. Somewhere along the way, someone has taught us to appear as though we have it all together in order to reflect confidence in leadership.

Not true.

Becoming human allows others to do so – to identify with you and connect.

Human beings need to feel a sense of connectedness. This comes from knowing others on the team and feeling known and accepted as a member.

In order to have this happen, we must become real.

Highest-performing teams know this – and work on it regularly.

Here are three things you can do right away to “get personal” with your team so that you can engage with each other on a greater level:

  1. Take your teams members to lunch.

During your time together, tell them you don’t want to talk about work, but just want to get to know each other better. Have some questions ready – why did they pick France as a vacation last year? Where did they grow up – and how did this affect the way they see things today?

  1. Develop an understanding about each other’s gifts and talents.

There are some great assessments out there for this: StrengthsFinder, Enneagram, and others. Have each team member take the assessment, bring their results, and talk about how these show up in their work and life.

  1. Take some time to learn each other’s lives.

What does this mean? Who are you outside of work? What is your favorite movie? How do you handle surprises? Make up a list of questions and share the answers as part of your team-building. Do this over time – knowing each other personally should be intentional and consistent in order to create bonds and connectedness.

Have fun with this. It has become a joy for me personally to connect with others in this way and to develop deep relationships.

As a bonus, when people feel you care about them, they also care about you. When the going gets tough, the team will pull together in a new and more concerted way to succeed.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

When Servant Leadership Doesn’t Work

October 3, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

When Servant Leadership Doesn’t Work
Image Credit: Shutterstock

It is said that servant leaders – those who truly lead from the heart – are the most effective.  

Indeed, inspiring and influencing others to rise to their personal and collective best yields much greater results. And frankly, this makes a significant impact in the lives of those who are part of this, as well as those clients who benefit.  

But there are situations when such leadership does not work. 

How can you tell whether to adopt this style or not?

First, servant leadership is a philosophy that genuinely puts people first, takes a keen interest in their development, and embraces shared power rather than a hierarchical style.  

In fact, leading from the heart – another way to describe servant leadership at its finest – requires embracing and modeling 7 traits: 

  1. Trust  
  2. Authenticity 
  3. Empathy 
  4. Compassion 
  5. Humility 
  6. Courage 
  7. Motivation  

The problem is, when leaders don’t incorporate all 7 traits, the power of leading from the heart is compromised. 

The question becomes, “Are you willing to work on adopting all 7 traits?”

Ask yourself the following: 

  • Trust – do my directives and communication reflect integrity? Are these consistent, and if not, am I willing to course-correct this with others so that I build trust with them? 
  • Authenticity – do I come from “center” with ease, not trying to emulate the style or persona of others?  
  • Empathy – can I easily detect the emotions of others, place myself in their shoes, and affirm them? 
  • Compassion – do my decisions and actions reflect that I put people first? 
  • Humility – do I respect others as much as I do myself, and can I recognize their gifts and talents as much as my own? Do I realize that without my team and the employee base that we could not accomplish what we do? 
  • Courage – am I willing to confront the tough stuff, even when the topic and decisions I may need to make are not popular ones? 
  • Motivation – am I motivated first by what is best for the organization, or am I preoccupied with what is best for me? 

If you are willing to sharpen these 7 traits, you will find that your team and culture will reflect greater satisfaction, higher engagement, and the innovative spark to help you and the organization meet the future. 

Which of these traits is most important for you to work on as you begin to up-level your leadership?


HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Jumpstart Company Performance with Trust

July 4, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Jumpstart Company Performance with Trust
Image Credit: Shutterstock

How high is the trust quotient in your company? If it’s low, you are among the 47% of American companies currently losing significant dollars and competitive edge.

How does trust affect company performance?

Well, compared with people at low-trust companies, people at high-trust companies report: *

  • 74% less stress
  • 106% more energy at work
  • 50% higher productivity
  • 13% fewer sick days
  • 76% more engagement
  • 29% more satisfaction with their lives
  • 40% less burnout

And those factors have everything to do with individual, team, and company performance.

So now what? How do you raise the trust quotient in your organization?

Here are some important steps to building greater trust.

1. Create shared agreement.

You’ve set company goals, but has your workforce integrated these to support them? When was the last time you had your executive team review their areas to ensure these are aligned with the company-wide goals? Do the metrics and milestones support the goals? Are there any conflicting processes or practices that might silo teams from one another?

If so, ferret these out ruthlessly. Otherwise, you are pitting teams against one another, thus causing mistrust to grow.

2. Respect shared accountability.

What are your practices for setting expectations, reporting on progress, and measuring against your projected success?

If any of these are missing, this will create questions and assumptions about the work of others. In the absence of information, people will create stories to make meaning. Unless you have a regular communication process that keeps everyone in the loop, someone may be assuming others are sleeping on the job – or worse. Assumptions are deadly because they erode trust.

3. Be honest.

Do you foresee you will be unable to deliver a product to a customer? Mentor honesty to your company. Make the difficult call to let the customer know as soon as you are aware. Your customer may not be pleased, but will appreciate your integrity.

Once this happens, re-examine your processes and practices to see what needs adjusting so that this is not a trend.

Are you in the planning stages of a downsizing or merger? Plan out your communication plan to your employees. Delivering tough messages is unpleasant, but saying nothing and surprising people is a trust-breaker.

4. Treat mistakes as points of learning.

Model this for your workforce.

Admitting you were wrong about something and sharing what you have learned from it shows others they can do so, as well.

The quickest way to cut creativity and innovation to the quick is to support a culture of perfection. If your employees get the message that perfection is king, they will play it safe by under-committing and performing at a safe, sub-par level because they don’t trust the company to regard them in the same light if they make a mistake.

Celebrate mistakes. It means you support learning, which is part of a successful future.

5. Facilitate “whole-person” growth.

Are you losing employees when they find promotion opportunities outside of your company?

It may be time to chart out the employee journey, with clear tracks, and supportive education and growth opportunities for both personal and professional development.

The organization of the future will keep learning and development as top priority, bringing meaning and fulfillment to its employee base. This creates a trust in them that you have their interests in mind.

When have you experienced a lack of trust at your company? How did you approach remedying this?

*Source: Zak, Paul. “The Neuroscience of Trust.” Harvard Business Review, Jan-Feb 2017.


HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 3
  • Page 4
  • Page 5
  • Page 6
  • Page 7
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Patti Cotton
Tweets by @PattiCotton
  • About
  • Consulting
  • Training
  • Speaking
  • Blog
  • Contact
Home | Contact | Privacy Policy

© 2024 Cotton Group LLC | PATTI COTTON 360° LEADERSHIP®