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Executive Coach & Career Strategist

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When Your Executive Can’t Get to the Point

March 24, 2021 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

When Your Executive Can’t Get to the Point
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Have you ever had an executive who just can’t seem to get to the point?  It can be an agonizing monologue, and you, as listener, can easily get lost in their narrative.

How do you help them shorten up the time they spend in detail so that you can determine what they need from you?

Tom asked me to work with him on his tolerance levels with key executives. “Specifically, I’m at my wit’s end with John, one of my key executives.”

“I can’t get past his droning narrative,” Tom continued. “It’s as if every conversation he has begins with when he was born and where. Then I start bristling and cut him off. Lately, I’ve noticed him shutting down, and I’m sure it’s because of my reaction. What do I do?”

“John may be a functional communicator*,” I said. “Does he love details and timelines?”

“I don’t know what a functional communicator is, but he thrives on timelines and charts,” Tom answered. “Burying himself in step-by-step guides and combing through details are a mental trip to Disneyland for John. It drives me crazy!”

“And how do you like to get things done, Tom?” I asked.

“Listen, I’m a big-picture thinker,” he responded. “Don’t bog me down with details. Give me a quick overview, and let me ask a few careful questions. That’s how we can move forward quickly.”

“Then I would call you an intuitive communicator, Tom,” I said. “Too many details can seem distracting to you.”

“You aren’t kidding,” Tom said. “My skin starts crawling when we drop below 40,000 feet.”

“Well, Tom, since you say John is great talent, and you want to negotiate a better way of communicating with him, here are four steps you can take with him.”

  1. Let him know you value his contributions.

Tell John he may have noticed you becoming frustrated upon occasion and that you apologize for this. Share that you recognize this is due to your differing communication styles and is no reflection on how you regard his talent or positive impact on the team.

  1. Share your observation about your communication styles.

Note he appears to be a functional communicator. He likes to outline things in a step-by-step way so that nothing is missed and provide details so that someone has full information by the time he is finished presenting. Ask him if this is correct. After listening and confirming, be sure you let him know you appreciate his desire to be thorough. Then, share your communication style with him.  As an intuitive communicator, you appreciate the aerial view. You like the big picture, and details can be distracting to you. You prefer for him to stick to the main topic and allow you to ask follow-up questions. You will then ask him to share other details he feels are relevant after you ask your questions.

  1. Pick a topic and role play.

Experiment with how it would be to communicate in each other’s preferred styles. In other words, after selecting the topic, share first with him, outlining all details and info John might appreciate. Debrief after having done so to see if this is helpful to him. Then, have John try your style with the same topic, identifying the main point in a sentence and its present or potential impact. He will then sit back for questions. Again, debrief.

  1. Practice.

As you meet together, continue to try each other’s styles as you communicate. Ask each other how it is working, and what could go better. Make sure that you don’t treat this as a test, but as experimenting to find the right way for both.

The next time you become frustrated with a colleague’s communication style, ask yourself what would work for you, instead. Then have the conversation with that person and ask them about their experience with you. Do they also need something different, in order to communicate more smoothly? Suggest experimenting such as is outlined above, and see if this doesn’t improve your working relationship and your ability to get things done together.

*Mark Murphy’s 4 Communication Styles, Leadership IQ


The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Keeping Your Head in the Game: Leadership 2021

January 6, 2021 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Keeping Your Head in the Game: Leadership 2021
Image Credit: Shutterstock

It’s a new year, and the pundits are calling 2021 the Year of Transition. If anything has changed, it has been that we have acclimated to a new way of working and living.

There are definite perks to this, but there have also been major drawbacks which have caused us to abandon much of what we know and adopt a learner’s mindset out of necessity.

Admit it – it’s been rough. Many of you reading this are tired. And some of you have called me, asking me how you can get your head back into the game.

What does it take to reenergize and motivate you as leader so that you can lead your life and work in 2021?

I work primarily with top executives to recreate future, working with their respective teams and companies, and also in small leadership groups where CEOs can put their heads together to share experiences and ideas. When we work on meeting the future, motivation of self is a hot topic.

And here is what we know: the head game of motivation requires that you focus on three things:

1. Purpose

Energy and engagement come from purpose. After weathering the initial shock and challenges of 2020, your physical and mental stores may be depleted. Revisiting your purpose is a first necessary step to picking back up. Why do you lead? What impact do you hope to make? What legacy are you seeking to create? If you keep pushing forward but cannot answer these questions, you will be headed for burnout. I invite you to take time to reflect on this. Call a coach or trusted advisor and talk through this. Because anything sustainable starts with purpose.

2. Direction

Know where you are headed. It is true that long-term planning is no longer valid due to the volatility and uncertainty around the future of work. Instead, one must use shorter-term planning to head in a general direction, and continuously bench against the changes in the business landscape. Keep your organizational vision at the forefront as you acquire the personal agility needed to meet goals and objectives. This particular step requires that you also open up to the perspectives of others. Seasoned leaders are comfortable doing things in the familiar way. And the word familiar is one that will not be used often in 2021.

3. Synergy

Leadership has been lonely, but then, we haven’t learned how to share it very well. Leading forward now requires the shift from “me” to “we,” for connection, mutual support and collective accountability. Inviting your executive team to share the vision is a first step, but the next is to allow them to share in greater responsibilities – the kind that ignites their purpose, as well. Raising the tenor of team energy is the magic we need to create great things together. Where do you start? Begin with a conversation around this topic. Ask for their ideas and feedback, ask what it would take for them to get excited around the idea. I believe this might be one of the most meaningful brainstorming you will have experienced for a long time – and it can yield great fruit.

My wish for you in 2021 is to know that you have what it takes (I know some of you question this at this time). My challenge to you is to rediscover your purpose and direction, and to create that synergy that will lift you up, as well as your team, so that you can move confidently to meet the future.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Is Your New Executive a Poor Cultural Fit – or Simply Situationally Unaware?

October 21, 2020 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Is Your New Executive a Poor Cultural Fit – or Simply Situationally Unaware?
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Most often, great new talent will fail, not because they are incompetent, but because they are what we call a “poor cultural fit.”

Such “poor fits” usually don’t last more than 12-18 months. It’s a big loss for the organization and the executive, both in morale and in the investment of money and time.

But more often than not, what is labeled as “poor cultural fit” is really a lack of situational awareness.

Is your new executive a poor fit? Or simply situationally unaware?

When Chris called me, she was completely demoralized.

“Patti, I have an excellent team. We’ve been through crisis and change and are even stronger than before. But I’m incredibly disappointed about my newest hire, Stan. He was the most promising talent when we onboarded him. And what a track record! But he’s not connecting the dots here at the company. He keeps missing the mark. He’s just an incredibly poor fit with our culture!”

“Chris, what are you seeing that tells you he’s a poor fit?”

“Well, he doesn’t seem to grasp the organizational structure when he makes decisions. The other day, he rode right over my top project manager to fast-track one of his initiatives. And even though we approach decision-making in a democratic fashion, he continues to call the shots on things in which he should include others. I guess I’ve hired a racehorse that doesn’t belong here.”

“Chris, is he willful or stubborn? In other words, is he trying to show off?”

“No, Patti – he truly just seems to operate differently, the way I described. Is there anything I can do?”

“I actually think there is, Chris. If my hunch is correct, Stan lacks situational awareness.”

“Explain, please,” answered Chris.

“Stan may simply need to develop a better lens in reading the social and political currents of the organization. Right now, it sounds as though he doesn’t have a good read on your organizational norms – the way you do things there. And he may also not understand the power relationships and how they work at the company.”

“Whatever it is, please help,” said Chris. “The other team members are distrustful of Stan, and his seasoned reports are shutting down.”

Chris arranged for me to meet Stan the next week. I felt sorry for him. He realized he was making mistakes and had become frustrated.

“I’m finding it very difficult to get things done here, Patti,” he said. “I’ve been handed some aggressive goals. and I see what’s possible. But I seem to keep treading on people’s toes, and there are obviously some unspoken rules around here. I’m lost.”

Stan and I talked a bit about his onboarding process.

“Truthfully, I was welcomed at a strategic planning retreat and met all my colleagues. I have meant to get around to meeting each one, learning more about what they do, how things work. But we have some time-sensitive goals, and they are pretty challenging. So, I’ve gotten to know them only through our interactions in team meetings. And, of course, I have a copy of the strategic plan with responsibilities assigned.”

“Who is mentoring you in this first phase of your employment?” I asked.

“Mentoring? No one. Chris says she’s available for any questions. But she’s pretty busy. I’m just pushing through this as best I can. But I’m really not making friends.”

I sat with Chris later and shared my thoughts.

“You have a bright executive. And he’s willing. He knows he’s in trouble. The challenge here is that he doesn’t have someone to walk him through the political and social networks he needs to know in order to get things done.”

“I’ve been pretty busy,” Chris admitted. “He does come in and ask questions from time to time. We talked through his responsibilities with the strategic plan. What else can I do?”

“Have you identified key stakeholders for each of his initiatives and introduced him to them?”

“No,” Chris answered slowly.

“Have you walked through your decision-making process here at the company?” I asked.

“No,” she said. Her shoulders drooped. “Wow. I’ve really messed up this onboarding, haven’t I? I’ve actually set him up for failure.”

“It’s not too late,” I countered. “Let’s sit with him and get a plan together. I don’t think you need to bear the full responsibility of this – but it needs to be orchestrated. I have some ideas.”

A few weeks later, Stan called me to thank me.

“What a difference,” he said. Taking the time to talk through how things work around here, how people get things done – invaluable. Having a couple of colleague mentors to help bounce things off of before I press a button – what a change. I just wanted to thank you.”

“Stan, I’m glad it’s working out,” I said. “You have a lot of contribute.”

“You know, Patti, I guess I should have asked Chris to help me come up with such a strategy. It never occurred to me since I had never encountered such a problem elsewhere. But – lesson learned.”

Lesson learned is exactly what Chris said later, as well.

“We all have our growing edges, Chris,” I said. “You have pushed through another one. You are on your way.”

What about you? Do you have an executive who finds it hard to get the work done?

Do they tread on others’ toes? Are they having trouble connecting the dots? It will be well worth your time to sit with your team member to explore where the gaps are. And be prepared because you may discover that one of the gaps is you.

In addition to resolving the issue, it could be a great opportunity for leadership growth at many levels, including your own.

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Is the Way You Show Up Under Pressure Hurting Your Leadership?

September 30, 2020 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Is the Way You Show Up Under Pressure Hurting Your Leadership?
Image Credit: Shutterstock

How well do you manage yourself under pressure and stress? You may feel you are doing a good job at remaining calm and focused. Or you may feel it doesn’t matter whether you keep your cool or not. After all, everyone is human and entitled to their emotions.

But the way you manage yourself when the going gets tough can compromise others’ trust in you. It has a direct impact on how others assess your ability to lead.

Eric, CEO of a food distribution company, had lost credibility. When he called, he noted that members of his executive team seemed to be making decisions without him.  They were now siloed as they worked in their own areas of responsibility.

“Just like that,” Eric said. “COVID hit, we scrambled to put things in place, keep the company running, and here we are – fragmented, scrapping, and losing clients. I know we hit an international crisis, but I can’t seem to bring the group back together.”

Eric allowed me to visit with the team members individually to explore moving forward together with a more aligned approach.

“Eric lost his edge in May,” said one. “He stopped making the hard decisions and would use phrases like, ‘let’s just wait and see’ when it came to things we couldn’t wait on.”

“Eric holed up in his office when COVID hit,” said another. “He seemed distant and aloof. He would lead discussions around tactics to survive, but he couldn’t seem to move beyond the immediate. After a while, we just left him alone and moved forward.”

I sat with six executives, and the messages were all similar.

“Eric, we have some trust-rebuilding to do with your team,” I said. “They have lost confidence in your ability to lead under pressure.”

“What? I don’t understand!”

“Here is a short list: unresponsive, preoccupied, slow to make crucial decisions…”

Eric slowly sat back in his chair. After a quiet moment, he said, “I didn’t realize it showed that much.”

He shared the pressure that COVID had generated for them.

“I lost a lot of sleep,” he said. “There were so many new things we had to deal with as far as employees working from home, shipping things out. And so many other things.” He seemed lost in thought. “I have to say the stress really got to me. I guess I didn’t handle things that well.”

“We can rebuild,” I said. “But you are also going to have to learn to manage the way you show up under pressure.”

Over the next few months, we did some important team building using a short-term strategic action plan to recover client loyalty and revenue. At the same time, Eric and I worked on techniques to sharpen his awareness around his emotions and how this affected his decision-making and ability to relate to others.

They continued to improve in their trust of Eric and the team’s ability to work together under stressful conditions. Today, Eric’s team is one of the most agile I know, starting with Eric and his ability to lead, and the team in how they work together.

How do others perceive your ability to manage yourself as leader when the going gets tough? If you aren’t sure, it’s time to ask them.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Why You are Responsible for Your Team’s Performance

June 17, 2020 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Why You are Responsible for Your Team’s Performance
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Many is a time when I have heard a leader say, “I just can’t get that executive to do the job I hired them to do!”

If you find you continue to complain about the performance of one or more of your own executive team members, it’s time to look in the mirror for the answer.

Because the key lies in one of three areas that you own.

You are responsible for setting the direction.

Jim, president of a large financial services organization, was frustrated.

“We are a tired company, Patti,” Jim told me. “And it really shows up in the executive team.”

“Tell me more, Jim,” I said. “What are you seeing on the team that tells you they are tired?”

“Samantha isn’t staying on top of the performance of her department. She keeps telling me that they are doing the best they can. Marc doesn’t meet deadlines anymore. He says his workload is heavy and that we need to reevaluate – or get him an assistant. I don’t know. It seems like people are distracted and disengaged.”

“So, when was the last time that you called a meeting to review your vision and direction?”

“Patti, we do strategic planning with the board every year,” Jim answered. “It’s not like we aren’t on top of where we need to be in 3-5 years.”

“That’s a great start,” I said. “But what do you do from there? I’m thinking your team may have lost their sense of purpose. By what you describe, the direction is either not exciting enough, or they don’t see how it relates to their work.”

“I don’t understand,” said Jim.

“Well, you may have a strategic plan, but your team needs to understand how this will make impact on your community, on the world. And then, they need to understand how their part in this plan will contribute to that success. Otherwise, you will have a group of people who will not recognize the relevance of their work to the bigger picture. You’ll wind up with a bunch of executives that have lost their purpose.”

Jim and I met with the team for some discussions and it did indeed become clear that they needed to reanimate their sense of purpose. Over the following days, we worked to do this and came away with a stellar action plan for the next 12 months that excited and inspired the team.

Some months later it was good to see that this had helped reignite the team. The organization went on to capture additional market share, which motivated the team to author an aggressive growth plan.

As a leader, be sure you are setting direction for your team and helping them to see the relevancy of their roles and responsibilities to this larger picture.

You are responsible for determining the norms.

Team norms are the rules or operating principles that shape team members’ interaction. It’s the agreed-upon way that team relates, gets the work done, and what team members can expect of one another.

Doug called me after their company had just lost a huge government contract.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with this team,” he said. “We are making poor decisions because we get into the weed so quickly. I get cut off at the pass when I mention a new idea. These are talented people – but we need to do something different or we will keep losing contracts with this kind of mess.”

“Doug, it sounds like you could benefit from determining a better process for making decisions – an agreement on the way you go about this. We would call that a team norm around decision-making.”

“I don’t care what you call it,” Doug shot back. “I just need for them to be open-minded about new ideas.”

“Go on,” I responded. “What else?”

“Well, I’d like for them to stay in the conversation at a strategic level until we agree on a direction. We can get into the tactics and details after that.”

“You just described two team norms around decision-making,” I answered. “Sounds like we need to have a meeting with your executives.”

We actually worked with the executives all morning to identify several key team norms. Decision-making was first, and it seemed to be welcome. But we then hit a major nerve around trust. We spent a couple of hours on this, determining what the team members needed in order to trust each other at a greater level. Not surprising – this is where I spend a lot of my time when rebuilding or reigniting team. We dealt with things like holding confidences, listening to understand, managing conflict, and more.

The morning was emotional but rewarding. The task was then to incorporate these norms or behaviors, which was something we worked on over the ensuing months.

Doug called me the year following to report that they had increased their revenue significantly due to the team’s new ability to innovate and their heightened trust.

“I didn’t know trust had an ROI,” he joked. “But I am a believer, now!”

As a leader, it’s your job to lead identifying and integrating norms for your team.

You are responsible for holding your team members accountable.

Diane reached out to me when she was ready to terminate two executives.

“I’ve had it, Patti,” she said. “They are at each other all the time. It’s not always apparent, because they are passive-aggressive. But they undermine each other in subtle ways, and actively try to downplay each other’s part in our success. The problem is, they are both so talented. And it’s hard to retain great talent.”

“You are right, Diane,” I said. “Finding and retaining top talent is challenging. And you are looking at many costs – overt and hidden – to the company, if you have to terminate them.”

“They wear me out,” said Diane. “I’m embarrassed to tell you that I’ve lately begun to tune them out whenever one of them begins to speak. I’m sure it shows.”

“Well, let’s talk about what we can do,” I responded. “When was the last time you held them accountable for their actions?”

“I met with them separately about 6 months ago and told them flat out that I expected them to get along.”

“Did that work?” I asked.

“No,” Diane answered. “It calmed down for a bit, then began to flare back up about 6 weeks ago.”

“So what did you do when that happened?” I asked.

“Frankly, I ignored it. I was so frustrated that I just didn’t want to think about it.”

“Diane, I know it’s frustrating. In fact, you must be pretty upset by now. If you think about it, their misconduct requiring your focused attention has cost the team an inordinate amount of revenue.”

“What?” she queried.

“Well, yes,” I answered. “Think about the cost of their conflict – of not doing their jobs properly, of having their teams feel the effects of this, and of your having to devote energy to the problem. Conflict has already cost your company wasted time, motivation, and I’m guessing that turnover in their respective areas might be headed upward.”

“So what do I do, Patti?” she asked.

“You own this, Diane. You confront it. The cost of allowing their misconduct has already decreased your company’s productivity and revenue. You hold them accountable.”

Diane admitted that she didn’t like confrontation, but she also realized that it was time to take things in hand.

The result was that one executive decided to leave. The other stayed on and Diane worked with him until he had shifted his behaviors to be supportive and positive of team contributions.

As a leader, you are responsible for holding your people accountable.

Is your team under-performing?

If your team is under-performing, it is probably due to one of these three areas. I invite you to make these areas part of your team discussions to discover your own growth opportunities.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

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