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When Leadership Abdicates the Throne

May 10, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

When Leadership Abdicates the Throne

Most know the romantic short version of the story of King Edward VIII and American socialite divorcée Wallis “Wally” Simpson. The young king gave up the throne so that he could marry and spend the rest of his life with his love.

The longer version of this story is seldom discussed, and it’s not quite as romantic. In fact, the situation was fraught with tangled and tawdry conflicts up from the time they met until the end of the couple’s lives.

The history books recount Edward publicly showering Wally with jewels and lavish vacations, and upon becoming king, continuing to consort with the still-married Wally, creating scandal and confusion touching not only his own family, but also the government and the United Kingdom. Even after abdicating the throne, Edward and Wally continued to flirt and fraternize with risky and dangerous relationships and situations, including heavy indicators that they supported Adolf Hitler and his efforts.

What does this wild situation have to do with leadership in the workplace?

Whether Edward should have left the throne for the woman he loved is not in judgment. Rather, it is the way he went about things – poor focus, direction, and execution. This resulted in a loss of trust and support by his inner circle and his country, and a challenging life after leaving the throne.

It’s when you’ve lost the trust and support of your people that it’s “game over.”

What does leadership abdication look like in the workplace?

It may be more subtle than stepping down from a royal throne, but it’s just as damaging.

Here are some styles of those at the top who may or may not be physically present, but who abdicate their responsibility as leaders.

Through poor behaviors and approaches, these hurt the morale, and productivity of those around them. Teams silo. Key talent leaves. Confusion reigns. The bottom line suffers. Do you or anyone you know have a boss like one of these? Or, as a leader, do you identify with any of these traits in your own leadership or in that of your team?

  • Jan, the Benevolent Dictator.

The Benevolent Dictator is the proverbial maternal/paternal figure, who keeps a tight rein on everyone. As a report, you aren’t always sure what you are supposed to do until you get directives from Jan – what to do, how to do them – and then Jan will check with you frequently to make sure you are doing what she told you to do. Sometimes she will even change her mind about what she tells you to do so that you have to change direction in the middle of a process. In short, the micro-manager extraordinaire, Jan may have you in her office several times weekly to tell you when to turn right or left. Is it any surprise that Jan doesn’t have her team operate from an action plan that empowers them and allows them to move forward on their own? In addition, chances are, your job description is “in the pile to update,” and so is your raise. Good luck with that.

  • Sam, the Disappearing Act.

Sam likes for you to take over while he disappears. In the beginning, it was pretty exciting to have so much leeway with what and how you run your area of responsibility. But then, you began to catch on – Sam reappears at the oddest times, parachuting into the middle of your projects and decisions. He questions what and why you are doing what you are doing. He changes things. It’s pretty frustrating, and you can lose credibility with others when he does this. Feel like a yo-yo?  You are. You’ve probably been promised a promotion for some time, and it’s overdue. If you could just get some time with Sam to discuss – but then, everyone else is lining up with questions, too. Because there are some critical, time-sensitive decisions that have been waiting for his endorsement – and he hasn’t been around to answer them until right now. Catch him quickly! Because, when you least expect it, Sam will be out the door, again.

  • Julia, the Decision-Adverse Boss.

Julia is famous for bringing enough of her homemade strawberry pie into the office for everyone to have a slice. She knows the names of all your kids and pets. She plans the best staff retreats. But it never seems like the right time to get a decision on critical items from Julia. “Let me mull this over,” and “That’s a great idea – let’s put it on our list,” are two of her favorite responses to your queries. Face it – you just can’t move forward with some of your initiatives without her help. You get the feeling that she cares about some things – just not about getting the work done. So forget your goals. Have another slice of pie. P.S. You’d better hope that when evaluation time comes around, she doesn’t blame you for poor performance.

  • Jim, the Easter Bunny.

Jim loves everyone, and everyone (seems?) to love him. He thrives on being liked, and it’s because of this that he refuses to do the right thing. Jim doesn’t want anyone to think he is playing favorites. Consequently, he hands projects and opportunities out like candy, and when one person gets a raise, everyone gets one. You can imagine with this kind of distribution that the remuneration is modest. You’ll hear things like, “Well, let’s see, you say you are doing twice the work that old Bernie is, and that you have twice as many reports, and twice as much revenue to generate as he does. But, you know, Bernie has been with us for 25 years, now. We wouldn’t want him to get the wrong impression, would we? So let’s just hold that promotion idea until we can come up with something for him, too. Maybe we can take it up with the team tomorrow.”  Just a word, here, but you’ve probably already guessed it:  Tomorrow never comes.

  • Mark, the Candy Man.

Who’s a good girl or boy? I’ll tell you who – it’s whoever is favored at the moment. Feel like you are favored? Try as you might, you won’t find out why you are loved at the moment, so you just hope you keep doing whatever it is keeps you on the boss’ good side. On the other hand, do you feel like the boss is spanking you for something and you don’t know why? Chances are you won’t find that out, either. You may not have done anything wrong, but the boss will deny any unfair treatment when you ask about it. Meanwhile, you feel like you are continually shut down – your ideas, the way you do things. Tired of playing with crazy? Time to think about alternatives.

There are so many ways of abdicating one’s responsibility in leadership. But no matter what style or behavior it is that holds someone back from leading, it always winds up damaging self, others, and the enterprise.

What poor style of leadership have you witnessed or heard about in the past?

Curious about your strengths in leadership?
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Patti Cotton is a CEO and former foreign diplomat. A sixth generation business owner, Patti not only coaches leaders – she has extensive experience in actually being one. Her experience, record of unprecedented success, and extensive training and certifications make her uniquely qualified to bring value to you and your team in the areas of leading self, leading others, and leading the enterprise.

Patti’s areas of focus include leadership and talent development, with specialization in leadership behavior and communication, conflict management, executive presence, succession planning, and strategic personal, leadership, and organizational growth.

With over 25 years of proven leadership experience, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across diverse industries. As an executive coach, trainer, and Fortune 500 speaker, she will inspire, influence, and impact your organizational leaders to reach new heights of success in their personal and professional growth, and to improve performance across your organization.

For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

3 Things a Leader in a New Role Needs to Know

March 15, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

3 Things a Leader in a New Role Needs to Know

Congratulations!  You did it. You got the position, the title, and the salary telling you that you have arrived.

They gave you the team and the commission to change the world.

But did they tell you that you aren’t really in control?

That your hard-earned expertise is now for naught?

What do you do, now?

If you’ve done your research, you will have put together a game plan, and you are working on your “first 100 days” in office. You will be gathering and triaging information, building your new tribe, identifying short-term wins and long-term wins – the whole enchilada.

And this is absolutely necessary for so many reasons – you’ll be closely watched by those who chose you for the job. The two times they look most closely are during the first three months of your tenure, and at the end of your first year. A lot of judgment is going on. For you, these days are also critical – you need to quickly build trust with your team, identify and forge your operational network, and above all, avoid political landmines…

But – here are three things that you may not hear, and that you need to know right now:

1. What got you here won’t get you there.

You have been recognized for your success to this point. You were in charge of a certain area of responsibility, and that landscape has now changed. By extension, it’s important to know that your present knowledge base may no longer be useful – that the reasons for which they promoted you are not necessarily the reasons that will help you succeed, now. Your operational network – the network that helps you to get the job done – will now change. And even if you are highly skilled at spinning multiple plates, you will now need to develop the ability to manage the new, different pieces that this promotion brings. In short: ask yourself what the new pieces are – which are “need to manage,” “nice to manage,” and simply “nice to know.”  Keep it streamlined.

2. You aren’t in control – but you are in charge and therefore accountable.

It’s a changing world, and therefore a lot of external factors exist that you cannot control, both in the marketplace, and inside your company. Strategies and tactics will come and go as the company attempts to keep up and remain viable. To be successful so that you do your part to help the enterprise remain profitable and sustainable, you will need to re-examine your own beliefs and how you manage your environment. Why? Because at the end of the day, you can blame the externals for failure, but you are still accountable for what you did to help your area succeed. In short: don’t make any assumptions. Ask questions, stay abreast of trends and what is required to meet this – and ask yourself how this affects you, your team, and the company.

3. Your best game is only as accountable as your weakest link.

Get to know your team, its strategies and ways of operating, and be candid in asking them what has worked in the past, what has not worked, what could be better. Ask them where the team as a whole hesitates – what team behavior holds them back from their best envisioned performance. Ask them what tools and support they need to do their best work. Many team action plans are stuffed away in drawers, unused, because of counterproductive behaviors that keep these from reaching set goals. And many of these counterproductive behaviors are due to not having the resources and tools to do their best job. In short: find out what they feel they need to excel.

Here’s to a successful next professional chapter for you!


Patti Cotton helps executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

When Your Team Member is Stuck in Story:

March 8, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

When Your Team Member is Stuck in Story

Helping Them Take Back Control

Do you love stories? So do I!

Stories are entertaining – and they help us make meaning of our world.

Some of my favorite stories are of the Sherlock Holmes type, where solving the mystery to bring solution is key.

But some tales are frustrating, like the kind in which your employee seems stuck. This kind affects everyone on the team. It slows down productivity… energy… motivation…

Is one of your team members holding you hostage to the same script? If you hear any of the following lines on a regular basis, you need to help your team member turn the page:

  • I can’t because…

  • It will have to wait until…

  • That would be nice, but…

  • I would have/could have, but…

I am often called to coach teams, and once coached a small, but key team to help them perform at a higher level. The talents were there. The desire was there. But the numbers were down. And the energy was low.

At one point early on, I asked them to walk me through a current project to see how they would describe the process of working together. And we hit the jackpot.

Terry, Laurie, and Martin began laying out the pieces of the project, and shared who was responsible for which part of the whole. Then I asked them to draft a timeline to show me how this would happen, and at what pace. At a certain point in the process, Laurie revealed that she was “stuck in story” – that she was unable to work around a chronic issue to move at a more acceptable pace.

“I can’t meet that deadline, Terry, and you know it. It will have to wait until I complete my part of the Blue project we are currently working on.”

“Oh– you still have that piece to complete?” asked Terry.

Martin joined in. “Can’t we figure out a different way to pace these things?”

“It’s not that – it’s just all the interruptions I get during the day. I can’t just tell people to go away.”

At this point, I interrupted.

“Are you saying that the interruptions are what is holding you back from being able to complete your work in a more timely fashion?”

“Yes,” Laurie answered. “The guys here know that my office is the first on the hallway, and that I’m seen as point person for the team. That means people coming in and out all day.”

I turned to Terry and Martin. “How does this slow down what you are able to complete?”

“Are you kidding?” said Martin. “We are constantly telling leadership they will have to wait because of this.”

“Okay,” I answered. “So what’s the solution to this?”

“You mean to the interruptions?” asked Laurie. “There is none. Like I said, my office is first, we are asked to be responsive, and if it isn’t office visits, it’s e-mails and phone calls. All day. I could be much faster – but I can’t because of this.”

Laurie was stuck in her story – the story that she had to operate in a certain way because of her role, even though it held her work back – which held back the entire team.

It was time to rewrite her story.

“Laurie, let’s brainstorm,” I said. “We need Terry and Martin’s help, here. If you weren’t there in that office to field interruptions, what would happen?”

“Good grief, if they couldn’t find me, they’d barrage me with e-mails and phone calls on my cell.”

“Your cell?”  I asked. “Colleagues here call you on your cell for work questions?”

“Well, yes – if they can’t find me. They know they can chase me down on my cell. And then, the e-mails keep coming.”

“Laurie, what would happen if you turned off your cell and scheduled time twice daily to look at your e-mails?”

Terry sat up. “I said that months ago!” he said. “Why does the entire work floor have to hold you hostage, Laurie?”

“Hostage?” responded Laurie. “That sounds like I’m a prisoner.”

“Well,” I said, “The way you describe things, you have pretty much said so. I mean, you’ve said you cannot control it. But…”

“But, what?” she said.

“But – you can control yourself and what you choose to do with the barrage coming your way.”

“But if I do that, I’ll have piles of e-mails and calls to return – and that will put me farther behind.”

“Laurie, it sounds like people are depending on you to drop everything and help at any time,” I countered.

“Hey,” said Martin, “Patti’s right. Actually, you have a bunch of people who look to you to help them out all the time when it’s actually not your job or place.”

“Well…” Laurie got still. “I guess it’s true.”

“What are you getting out of fielding these cries for help all day long, Laurie?” I asked.

She got quiet.

“Laurie,” I moved forward gently, “Are you getting some satisfaction out of helping?”

“Well, yes,” she said. “And if I am honest with myself, I guess that most of it isn’t even related to our department. I know I said I was point person – but it’s much more than that. In truth, maybe it’s just a way to feel valuable.”

“Valuable?” asked Terry. “You think you aren’t valuable to our team?”

And then, our real work began. And although we had to do some deep work, it paid off.

I’m happy to report that a few months later, the team members were working at top performance, with all members understanding and appreciating each other’s value.

Don’t you love a story with happy ending? I certainly do!


Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Are You Tired of Visioning?

February 15, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

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The Importance of Short-Term Wins

Sometimes I get tired about visioning the future and setting long-range goals. These are certainly important – but they aren’t enough to keep me on track.

How about you?

Short-term wins and intermediate goals are the fuel for getting there. And you can leverage this with your team to keep them motivated and inspired.

Years ago, I sat with a CEO and talked about how to keep his healthcare system viable and vibrant.

“I’m tired, Patti,” he said. “Look at this,” and he pulled out a heavy drawer full of notebooks. “These are all strategic plans. Through the years, we’ve hired expensive consultants to come and walk through the process with us and all we have to show for it is…paper.”  He sighed. “The more I look at these, the more tired I get. The future seems so far off – and we aren’t moving forward. What good is a strategic plan, anyway?”

He shut the drawer. “I’m beginning to believe we’ll never get there. We’ve set up 3-year action plans, designated responsibilities – but, somehow, we all get too busy doing the day-to-day stuff that this place requires.”

This guy looked pretty tired. Bone tired. Discouraged.

“What about your short-term plan?” I asked.

“Short-term plan?”

“Yes, a plan that sets key milestones and success indicators in 3-4 month increments.”

He paused. “Why would I do that? I know very well what to do to get there.”

“Well,” I responded. “How’s that working for you and your executive team?”

It’s not just a matter of knowing how to get there – if you don’t have a plan that has intermediate goals and milestones, you not only lack measurements to show you how well you are headed there, but you also miss out on a key secret to staying motivated – and keeping your team motivated, as well.

And when motivation is gone, nothing happens.

So how do you set these?

Take your one-year plan and reverse-engineer it – what are the major projects and steps to get there? What should you be seeing if you are on course by the end of Q1, Q2, Q3, and Q4? In other words, how will you know you are on the path to success?

When you are able to make these indicators tangible so that you can see you are hitting the mark, then you are on your way to sustaining momentum and energy. And you need that. Not only you, but your team needs it. It helps them to know that they are doing well, on the right track, and meeting motivation.

No small potatoes. Because keeping a team motivated when you have huge goals can be challenging.

So here’s my challenge to you:  get with your team and look at your one-year plan. Break it up, assigning major projects, deadlines, the people responsible, and key indicators that show these projects are successfully meeting the goals of the one-year plan. This is a great team-building exercise, and you will have set in place the motivators that will keep you and your team on track.


Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Is Your Personal Mission Holding the Company Back?

February 8, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

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You have a clear sense of mission, and you are values-driven. And because of these, you’ve contributed great things to your organization or business.

But lately, you’ve sensed some tension. As the company continues to grow, you are getting directives from the top, and they don’t align with what you know to be working. Further, others on the team are jostling around with some ideas that are outside the box.

What’s wrong? Do these people just not know how to stick with a plan? What’s the problem?

Cynthia called for my help when she intuited that her team was restless. “I’m getting a lot of pushback about our annual plan,” she said. “It’s worked quite well for us and I’m not about to let a couple of people who want more power upset things.”

“Tell me more, Cynthia,” I countered. “Are these two team members the only ones pushing back?”

“Well, no,” she admitted. “My board has brought in some out-of-the-box ideas lately – but you know how boards are – they read something or hear something, and suddenly it’s the answer to everything. But it’s happening more and more.”

I did a little more investigating and learned that, six years prior, Cynthia had been first pick for this leadership role. She had shown herself adept at putting a team and plan together that produced amazing results wherever she was assigned, and had been promoted three times within the last 10 years because of this prowess. Each time, she reached or exceeded the goals set for her.

But in this new role, Cynthia had found a breaking point. Her ability to lead team and satisfy top leadership was diminishing. Even though she was firm in her own ability to succeed, the feedback she was getting was frustrating.

After carefully talking through where the company was headed and how she approached her work, we sat down together.

“Cynthia, I’d like for you to remain open to what I have to say, so that we can explore this together. You’ve succeeded in a lot of areas within this company and at others. You have a great ability to form a team and a plan and to produce extraordinary results. But you have hit a roadblock. It isn’t your team. And it isn’t your board.”

“Are you saying it’s me?” Cynthia looked shocked.

“Well…here is what I’m observing. You are accomplished, you know what you are about, you are confident in handling whatever is thrown your way. You’ve always had a clear sense of personal mission that has done great service to the organization well. This has served you well up to recent times – but it’s now getting in your way. It looks like you are having trouble dealing with some of the complex cross-cultural situations the company is now facing due to expansion in China and Europe. And it appears that this tension is due to a firm attachment to your personal mission.”

“My personal mission?”

“Yes, your personal mission. Cynthia, you have a clear picture of who you are and what you are about. You have a firm direction and lead from a set of wonderful values. The problem is, the company has grown more complex, and your personal mission – the picture of how you will lead and deal with issues – has been left behind.

Cynthia looked stunned. “Are you calling me inflexible?”

“Let’s just say that we need to work on your leadership agility,” I countered. “This is not uncommon. In a complex, changing business world, acquiring agility is key. You are fielding a lot of changes, both culturally and organizationally. And you deserve to step into more success.”

Leadership agility is the ability to take effective action in complex, rapidly changing conditions. It requires that we let go of what has worked in the past, and ask ourselves what will work, now. It requires stepping out of an “expert mindset” and into that of a “learner mindset.”  It means asking questions, being open to different perspectives.

Agility requires that you are able to see connections everywhere, looking at an issue from multiple angles and seeing the ways that different perspectives overlap. This exercise in itself opens the mind to seeing more possibility. Or more simply put, you get yourself out of the weeds in order to see more clearly.

Have you been called inflexible, or is your leadership being questioned lately?

It may be time to revisit your belief around your personal mission – how you will lead process, involve others, produce, and all other aspects of your leadership.

For more on developing leaders for a complex world, see Jennifer Garvey Berger’s book, Changing on the Job:  Developing Leaders for a Complex World


Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

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