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Are Your Business Partnerships Hurting You?

April 4, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Whether you represent your own business, or you hold a corporate responsibility, your company thrives on good business partnerships.

When these are healthy, they can be powerful in helping you leverage your business growth.

But if you have a business partnership that isn’t smart, it can actually damage your business and professional reputation.

How can you tell whether yours are hurting you?

Here are Five ways to assess your business partnerships.

1. Is the business partnership purpose-driven?

Does the partnership move you closer to your vision and goals? Many partnerships are founded on fleeting fancy.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” bemoaned one executive. “But the energy it requires has really steered us off into left field.”

If a partnership isn’t supporting your ultimate purpose, you are choosing to compromise your endeavors for the sake of shiny objects. Time to get tough.

2. Is the business partnership a positive experience?

Is it enjoyable and easy to work in this partnership? Or does it feel like a struggle each time you interface with one another?

If you dread that next meeting or interaction, ask yourself what lies underneath. Is it simply a matter of learning to communicate differently, or are you just not a fit for one another?

3. Is the business partnership productive?

Are you seeing results from your partnering? Or is the relationship one long conversation leading to another without any real action or outcomes? If you are holding space for a business partnership that does not yield results, ask yourself why. There may be a conversation that needs to take place to see how to produce.

4. Is the business partnership mutually beneficial ?

Can the partnership equitably benefit both of you? Are you and the other party well-positioned to be able to contribute to one another?

Many a partnership has been formed out of mutual appreciation – and not because they can truly benefit one another in some kind of equitable manner. If this is your case with a particular relationship, you may want to adjust how much time and effort you devote to it.

5. Is the business partnership an edifying one?

Does this partnership reflect highest integrity? How can you trust this? If you haven’t done your research, do so before committing to the association.

Does the partnership add value to both parties? If you and the other party are “better together,” or the better for having associated, then the answer is a resounding “Yes!”

Make sure your business partnerships are smart, productive, and trustworthy – and that those who partner with you can say the same of you.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Is Your Compassion Hurting You in the Workplace?

March 21, 2018 By Patti Cotton 1 Comment

Is your ability to have compassion for your colleagues hurting you?

Some of you have told me that when you show you care for others in the workplace, you become drained of energy. You discover you are the “go-to” person when problems arise or when people need a shoulder to cry on.

Others have told me it is hard to make tough decisions that could negatively affect others, and still feel compassionate.

If either of these situations hit close to home, don’t blame it on compassion.

Blame it on poor boundaries and a misunderstanding of what compassion really is.

Do you need to stop showing others you care? Not at all.

But when I talk about compassion in the workplace, a lot of people bristle and throw words like “soppy,” and “gutless” around.

“We had a ‘fluffy’ CEO,” said one manager. “Everyone loved him. But he could never make the tough decisions we needed in order to hold people accountable.”

Others roll their eyes and tell me that when they show compassion, an endless stream of needy people line up at the office door for counseling, advice, and a sympathetic ear.

“I’m absolutely spent,” said Jan. “People have so many problems and see me as a mentor. I can be there for them because I listen well and really care about the people here. But it seems like when one problem disappears, another arrives, and they are back at my door the next week with something else.”

However, compassion is anything but gutless or fluffy. And it is not being the “therapist on call.”

True compassion takes great courage to embody – and it’s vital to good leadership.

Compassion means to hold others with positive intent, to feel concern for their well-being.

It does not mean to be on call to fix others’ problems. And it doesn’t mean avoiding making the right decisions even though some may not like how it affects them. It simply means that you need to care about others and hold them in positive light.

So what does compassion really look like in the workplace? And how do you practice it?

Here is a quick checklist for you to sharpen your ability to show compassion and keep healthy boundaries:

1. When others bring you their problems, ask yourself the following:

a. Am I the right person to address this problem?

People may come to you because you have an ability to listen and sift through problems. However, the issue they bring to you might belong in another office. Is the problem of a work nature, and if so, who is the right decision-maker that can help them resolve it? Is the problem of a personal nature, and thus better discussed with those parties directly involved, or with a counselor? Begin to triage in this way so that you can redirect as appropriate.

b. Is the person bringing me the problem asking for help in solving it?

Sometimes, people just want a sympathetic ear. However, if you have someone who continues to come to you about a particular problem because you are good listener, you may want to ask them what they want to do about the situation. People can develop a chronic need for sympathy.

c. And finally, fixing others’ problems for them when they should be stretching their problem-solving skills doesn’t help them to grow.

Allow your employees and colleagues to “adult” by taking a coaching approach. Learn to ask them questions, such as, “How do you feel this should be handled? What possible solutions have you thought about?”

Then, if they are still stumped and you are the appropriate party to help them address the problem, help them to brainstorm with more possibilities, if needed.

2. Holding people accountable is compassionate and, you might say, the ultimate way to love others.

Confronting the tough stuff that holds your employees back will allow them to grow into more of their potential, be a greater contributor to their team, and thus support the enterprise more effectively. And that means that everybody wins.

3. Making tough decisions that may adversely affect some of your employees doesn’t mean you don’t care about them.

It means you ultimately care about everyone. Supporting a healthy enterprise provides good and meaningful work for the people who work there. Pleasing some people to the exclusion of the current and future health of the organization means hurting everyone.

Where in your practice of compassion do you need to recalibrate?

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Beware of Hubris Syndrome

February 28, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

You have a successful track record. Your company is doing well. But over a period of time, you have lost touch with your employees.

In fact, when you aren’t in the room, they may describe you as “calloused” or uncaring.

But they don’t know what it takes to run a business. You can’t always stop to be warm and fuzzy with everyone.

Is that true?

Not necessarily.

You may be suffering from the beginnings of hubris syndrome.

Neuroscientist Sukhvinder Obhi has found that power damages our mirror-neurological activity — the neurological function that indicates the ability to understand and associate with others.

“David Owen, a British physician and parliamentarian, has dubbed this phenomenon hubris syndrome. He defines this as a ‘disorder of the possession of power, particularly power which has been associated with overwhelming success, held for a period of years.’” (Hougaard, et al).

Are some people just born with an inability to handle power?

Or is a hardened profile required to rise to – and stay at the top?

Hubris syndrome is actually an acquired personality change in people who assume positions of power. There are a few key symptoms that indicate one is suffering from this, and one particularly dark side to it is an inability to have compassion for other people. This can lead to devastating effects, and we’ve all witnessed this. Martin Winterkorn and the Volkswagen scandal. Martin Shkreli of Turing Pharmaceuticals. Hisao Tanaka of Toshiba.

These business leaders are among those who, over time, developed a greed and lust for more power. This caused them to lose their ability to feel compassion for others.

And the results were disastrous.

You are probably saying that you could never turn into a Winterkorn or Shkreli. And hopefully, you are right. However, if you have been in a position of power for some time, you will want to check on your ability to feel and exercise compassion.

Compassion moves beyond empathy, which is the ability to read and feel the emotions of others.

Compassion is a proactive commitment to contribute to the happiness and well-being of others. It’s an intentional attitude that, through regular practice, can be strengthened and become the hallmark of your leadership.

Here are some first steps to begin cultivating your compassion:

1. Seek to support others in your connections.

Each time you interact with others, begin by asking yourself, “How can I be of benefit to this person?” This turns your focus outward and strengthens your intentional commitment to their happiness.

2. Identify a family member who could use some support, or someone in your work who is a difficult personality.

Meditate on that person and send caring thoughts about their well-being. A common intention that people hold for this particular exercise is to repeat the statement, “May you be free from suffering. May you have joy and ease.”

3. Exercise compassion for yourself.

Where are you lacking compassion for yourself? Identify where you might be holding yourself to an impossible standard, or figuratively beating yourself up for past mistakes. Forgive yourself and move forward. Unless we can forgive our own errors, we cannot really do so for others.

You will notice as you begin an intentional compassion practice that your sense of purpose and contribution begin to grow alongside. And, funny thing, others respond well to practiced compassion. Your employees will begin to feel recognized and valued. Trust grows. And in turn, engagement, morale, and all the things that you need in order to sustain your business.

This creates a win-win situation.

(Reference: Hougaard, Rasmus; Jacqueline Carter and Louise Chester. Power Can Corrupt Leaders. Compassion Can Save Them. Harvard Business Review, 2/15/2018.)

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Is Your High Performer Ruining the Company?

February 7, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Do you have a high performer that acts out, but you hesitate to correct him or her because he or she generates so much business for the company?

You may discover that your favored “race horse” is actually costing you more than you know.

What can you do?

I have seen this before – and if the high performer is willing, and you are ready to support the change, you may be able to turn this around.

Sam was an executive vice president who generated the lion’s share of the revenue for his organization for over five years. Leadership coined him “the race horse,” and at one time wondered if he should be the next CEO.

The customers were real fans, and Sam’s team was extremely loyal.

There was just one problem: Sam didn’t like to work with the other vice presidents or their managers. He felt they slowed his progress, which meant they weren’t consulted when he took on a new project – even when it affected their area. Sam often went around department managers if he needed help with something from one of their employees.

In the past, leadership pushed back on these other executives, worried that if Sam was asked to work with them, he would quit. However, over time, leadership noticed a growing resentment and conflict due to Sam’s work-arounds and inter-team avoidance tactics. Productivity was taking a deep dive.

Sam was surprised when his CEO introduced us, stating that he didn’t see the problem since his revenue generation was better than ever. However, since I had met with the CEO previous to this meeting, and we had quantified the loss to the organization because of Sam’s approach, the message was clear – Sam was actually costing the business a lot of money. His team and members of other teams were fighting, and turnover was on the rise.

Wanting to save his job and his reputation, Sam agreed to work with me to turn things around.

He had several great qualities, but lacked two key leadership traits that would stop his career in its tracks – the ability to empathize, seeing things from multiple perspectives; and the resulting ability to develop and nurture rapport with others for trusting relationships.

We co-created a development plan that addressed these two behaviors specifically, and worked together over the ensuing months to apply and integrate his learning so that it became a part of his nature. Sam agreed to a bold approach in this – he allowed me to help him talk to some of his colleagues and team members so that they played a part in his success. He shared that he was working on his leadership, and asked them if he could get intermittent feedback from them as to how he was doing as he and I worked together.

This paid off exponentially. Not only did Sam learn how to eliminate old counter-productive behaviors and replace them with more effective ones, he acquired some great advocates in his colleagues and teammates through his willingness to receive and use the feedback they provided.

Sam wasn’t promoted to CEO at that organization. He did get an offer, but instead, chose to accept another CEO position a few states away. I wish him well. He has earned the promotion.

Do you have a “racehorse” that does not play well with others? What might it be costing you?

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Seven Steps to Providing Supportive Feedback

January 3, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Have you ever had an employee ask for feedback?

In theory, this is a good thing. After all, who doesn’t want to lend a hand when a colleague or report asks for help – especially when it pertains to their effectiveness on the job?

Or perhaps you see the need to give an employee feedback, even when they haven’t asked for it.

Either way, you may not feel safe or comfortable as you think about what might happen as a result. Your intention to help may be met by the employee becoming defensive, hurt, or angry.

What then?

How do you handle this? How do you provide information that is candid and in their best interest, and do so in a way that doesn’t backfire?

Seven Steps to Providing Supportive Feedback

1. Be thoughtful and specific about what you both want to accomplish.

Whether your employee has initiated the conversation by asking for feedback, or you have recognized that feedback is needed and have asked them to talk to you, you will want to identify why the feedback is needed and how this will help them, their team, and the company going forward. This will help you frame the conversation supportively, and help them to understand impact.

2. Set up an appropriate setting for your conversation together.

Make sure you and the employee have some dedicated time and are in a place that is quiet and confidential. Feedback provided in passing or in a public place is neither respectful nor beneficial.

3. Emphasize to the employee your desire to be helpful by providing feedback.

If they have initiated this conversation, thank them for placing confidence in you as part of their growth trajectory. If, on the other hand, you have initiated the conversation, you can share that part of your role is to help them grow into more of their potential, and that you take this seriously. In either case, you will want to convey that you come with best intentions and the desire to support them.

4. Affirm them first for the value they bring to the team and the company, noting some of the key strengths you appreciate in them, and how these strengths benefit the company.

Be specific. Use illustrations. For example, saying that someone brings a lot of strengths to the table is too vague and may sound dismissive. On the other hand, identifying that someone exhibits a lot of integrity in the way they deliver results on time or include others, for example, during the last major project…well, you can see the difference. Follow the latter illustration as you recognize their value.

5. Pay attention to your language as you point out growth opportunities.

Let’s say that your employee has a habit of over-promising and under-delivering. Rather than say, “You are untrustworthy,” or “I can’t count on you,” use an illustration to show how their behavior impacts the situation. You might say, “You and I agreed on a deadline for your piece of the XYZ Project. When you were unable to meet this, it meant the team was delayed two weeks in completing their portion so that we could deliver to the customer on time.”

6. Tell them what you need and offer your help by coaching them on this going forward.

Following our illustration, ask them, “Can you shed light on this? Is there something I am missing?” Pause and allow them to respond. If they do not realize this problem is isolated, you may want to give a second situation where it occurred. Either way, you can then ask, “How can I help you so that this one area doesn’t hold you back?” Asking, rather than telling, will allow them a growth moment, allowing them to develop awareness about the problem, and to identify any possible solutions.

7. Offer a go-forward plan.

You can share any insights you have, once you have allowed them to respond. And be intentional about checking in on a regular basis to share how you feel it is going. Catch them doing right when they are on time, and let them know you appreciate it. Give them feedback, as well, if it occurs again, and ask them to help you identify how you can work together to avoid it in future. Hold shared accountability in this.

I’d like to hear of your experience in giving feedback. What has worked – or not worked – for you? How do you use this knowledge as you provide feedback going forward?

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.