Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

women in business

Focus Bandits – Have You Been Robbed?

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Focus Bandits – Have You Been Robbed?
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Are you easily distracted, or are you finding it hard to concentrate?

Worried this will affect contributing your best work?

Before you get swept away in a sea of overwhelm, see if these three focus bandits are lurking in your vicinity.

If so, I’ve given some tips for you to eliminate the thieves and recapture clarity and focus so you can get going!

1. Unfinished business.

You may be carrying a stress load from unresolved conflict.

Is there a current challenge outside of the immediate work at hand that you need to resolve? A critical conversation that needs to occur?

Even more insidious is a long-standing situation that has silently eroded your focus for some time. If you aren’t sure as to whether you have any of the latter in your life, do a short self-assessment.

Rate yourself from 1-10 in the following areas:

  • Personal finances
  • Friends and family
  • Intimate relationship
  • Career
  • Fun and recreation
  • Physical environment
  • Spiritual life

With 10 being ultimate success, give yourself a score in each area. If any are less than 10, ask yourself what holds you back from a 10. The problem will emerge, and then it’s up to you to decide how you will resolve it.

2. Too many good things.

The adage, “Because I can, I do,” is bunk.

When a client tells me he or she is overworked and highly stressed, it usually comes from one of three areas:

  • Mismanagement (lack of delegating appropriately, avoiding conflict to allow it to pile up and affect the team, or other poor management practices)
  • A need to please others by accepting new assignments or an increase in responsibility without the proper support
  • Delusions of grandeur (believing you can handle it all, when the calendar shows it is physically impossible)

Do any of these feel as though they might be the case for you?

The mind needs “white space” or downtime to reflect, process, and actually follow through with the work prescribed from all those meetings we attend.

If you aren’t finding that white space in your life, it is time to re-organize. Identify the non-essentials and delegate or eliminate. You can have it all – just not all at the same time!

 3. Lack of organization, prioritization.

I find this less in my corporate clientele than my entrepreneurs, only because it is tough to wear several hats at once when you are building a business. However, this can also creep up when you are a corporate executive, and it usually occurs when you have just been handed an additional area of responsibility.

If this is you, whether things have just piled up, or whether you have accepted new opportunities, you’ll do best with formulating a 90-day plan of action to help you…

  • Prioritize
  • Identify short- and long-term wins
  • Determine the internal and external connections you need to cultivate in order to best get the work done
  • Establish a process whereby you can stay focused on the top priorities

I’ve helped many clients turn things around with this approach, and besides getting organized, the plan has kept their focus to a level that builds great credibility with others quickly.

And finally (bonus tip), here is the unvarnished truth for you who are eternal optimists:

You are fooling yourself if you use phrases that sound like, “As soon as _______ happens, I will have more time to breathe easier, capture more white space….”

If you find yourself in any of the above descriptions, you can recapture a great deal of focus and lessen your stress by simply being tough enough to create better boundaries for yourself.

It’s not always easy – but the reward is oh, so great.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Are You Suffering From Empathy Erosion?

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Are You Suffering From Empathy Erosion?
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Are you suffering from empathy erosion?

Whether you are naturally empathetic or not, today’s highly competitive and digitized world is working steadily against your ability to see the world through others’ eyes and to understand their unique perspectives.

The problems this can cause for you both personally and professionally are enormous.

  • The ability to relate well with others
  • The ability to build trust
  • The power to persuade and influence

​And more!

Empathy erosion, however, isn’t easily detectable until it reaches a point of danger.

Are you there? If so, your ability to lead has been compromised.

Where are you on the “empathy scale”?

And what can you do about it?

Empathy is a foundational part of emotional intelligence, allowing us to respond appropriately and to develop deep levels of rapport and trust. It is closely connected to cultural competence, which allows us to connect and relate well with people of other cultures, beliefs, and backgrounds.

We are wired to experience empathy. At birth, there are also other factors that go into helping us to develop this as we mature. When we possess a fair amount of empathy, and we see someone in pain or feeling happy, we can, to a certain extent, experience the same. You might see this ability to feel or intuit others’ emotions as a sort of “neural Wi-Fi” that allows us to connect with the feelings of others around us.

Empathy is key to leadership success. The ability to persuade and inspire others, to make things happen through influence, rather than through pressure and duress are all contingent on possessing a high level of empathy.

The problem with empathy, however, is that you must practice it to keep it. And in a rapidly-changing, ever-evolving business world we are seeing signs of empathy “erosion.”

Poor communication and conflict are on the rise, as technology replaces the need for meaningful connection.

Inside company walls, a lack of empathy means that highly-skilled leaders and managers can be abrasive and out of touch with their workforce as they attempt to meet demands at a rapid pace. Further, a recent study at the University of Southern California shows that the growing lack of empathy is not evenly distributed; that “…middle management and senior executives are showing the biggest deficit in empathy – the very people who need it most because their actions affect such large numbers of people” (Ernest J. Wilson III, “Empathy is Still Lacking in the Leaders Who Need It,” Harvard Business Review).

With this phenomenon, coworkers struggle to build trust with one another, and to be inclusive in process and decision-making – especially as many are coming from different generations and cultures. This means a workplace that is high in conflict and other poor workplace behaviors, and low on collaboration, morale, engagement, and productivity.

Outside company walls, it is empathy that can make the difference from the competition, as we read more effectively the pulse on customer demand and have a greater ability to cultivate deeper and more effective relationships with them. It is empathy that allows more successful expansion as we negotiate presence and activity in other cultures and countries.

Indeed, in a world where we seek connection, meaning, and contribution more than ever before, empathy must be intentionally practiced.

But where do you start?

How do you go about strengthening your own level of empathy?

A first step is to make friends with emotions – and get back in touch with your own.

Emotions are not good or bad – they just are. They are triggers tied to past experiences and serve to tell you to pay attention to the situation at hand. But if you are like most, you have learned to shut down emotions that make you uncomfortable so that you can continue to operate at high speed. The thing about emotions is that if you ignore them, they will build up and erupt somewhere at some time when you least expect it – and most often, inappropriately. When this happens, frustration and stress can mount and nothing is resolved.

To normalize this dynamic, it is necessary to first tap back into how you feel so that you become comfortable with emotions as they occur. When I work with clients on raising their empathy quotient, we begin with a list of positive and negative emotions. I ask them to set their alarm three times daily and when the alarm sounds, to stop, look at the list, identify the emotion they are feeling, and write it down. Record the time of day, the emotion felt, and the situation to which it was connected. If you do this, you will begin to expand your repertoire of recognizable emotions, to note what triggers them, and to accept them as part of you.

Once you begin to get back in touch with emotions and to spot them in others, you can then start to acknowledge others’ emotions so that they feel heard.

This is paramount to building bonds and the beginning of greater trust. As you tune in and expand your own repertoire of emotions, pay attention to the spoken and body language of others. Validating the feelings of others allows them to feel understood as human beings.

An example might be if someone comes in to your office saying, “I’m really frustrated about that project!” This is your cue to refrain from jumping in to try and fix or to ask questions. Instead, acknowledge their emotion, first – something like, “I’m sorry that you are frustrated. That’s no fun!” Wait for the other person to take this in. Give them the space to expound on this. Your acknowledgment of how they are feeling tells them that you have heard or recognized their emotions as valid. They feel “seen” as a human being.

Another example might be if you see someone looking puzzled, you can stop the conversation and say, “Hey, you look puzzled…” This demonstrates to the other person that you notice and care for the way they feel. This can open the door to better, more meaningful discussion. It also allows you to learn if your impression of how the other person was feeling was correct, helping you to further fine-tune your radar for reading the emotions of others.

By 2030, 850,000 jobs will be replaced by automation. Many are asking how they can remain valid in a world that is shifting at such a pace.

Here’s what we know:

A machine cannot replace human connection. It cannot supply meaning or purpose. A machine does not have the capability to build bonds and trust. It cannot persuade, influence, or lead in a way that inspires others to follow.

This can only be accomplished by humans who care.

How’s your empathy quotient?

Is Your High Performer Ruining the Company?

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Is Your High Performer Ruining the Company?
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Do you have a high performer that acts out, but you hesitate to correct him or her because he or she generates so much business for the company?

You may discover that your favored “race horse” is actually costing you more than you know.

What can you do?

I have seen this before – and if the high performer is willing, and you are ready to support the change, you may be able to turn this around.

Sam was an executive vice president who generated the lion’s share of the revenue for his organization for over five years. Leadership coined him “the race horse,” and at one time wondered if he should be the next CEO.

The customers were real fans, and Sam’s team was extremely loyal.

There was just one problem: Sam didn’t like to work with the other vice presidents or their managers. He felt they slowed his progress, which meant they weren’t consulted when he took on a new project – even when it affected their area. Sam often went around department managers if he needed help with something from one of their employees.

In the past, leadership pushed back on these other executives, worried that if Sam was asked to work with them, he would quit. However, over time, leadership noticed a growing resentment and conflict due to Sam’s work-arounds and inter-team avoidance tactics. Productivity was taking a deep dive.

Sam was surprised when his CEO introduced us, stating that he didn’t see the problem since his revenue generation was better than ever. However, since I had met with the CEO previous to this meeting, and we had quantified the loss to the organization because of Sam’s approach, the message was clear – Sam was actually costing the business a lot of money. His team and members of other teams were fighting, and turnover was on the rise.

Wanting to save his job and his reputation, Sam agreed to work with me to turn things around.

He had several great qualities, but lacked two key leadership traits that would stop his career in its tracks – the ability to empathize, seeing things from multiple perspectives; and the resulting ability to develop and nurture rapport with others for trusting relationships.

We co-created a development plan that addressed these two behaviors specifically, and worked together over the ensuing months to apply and integrate his learning so that it became a part of his nature. Sam agreed to a bold approach in this – he allowed me to help him talk to some of his colleagues and team members so that they played a part in his success. He shared that he was working on his leadership, and asked them if he could get intermittent feedback from them as to how he was doing as he and I worked together.

This paid off exponentially. Not only did Sam learn how to eliminate old counter-productive behaviors and replace them with more effective ones, he acquired some great advocates in his colleagues and teammates through his willingness to receive and use the feedback they provided.

Sam wasn’t promoted to CEO at that organization. He did get an offer, but instead, chose to accept another CEO position a few states away. I wish him well. He has earned the promotion.

Do you have a “racehorse” that does not play well with others? What might it be costing you?

Three Ways to Help Your New Employee Execute Well

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Three Ways to Help Your New Employee Execute Well
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Do you sometimes wonder if one of your managers made a mistake with their latest hire?

How can you tell?

The new hire’s transferable skills check out. Their attitude is positive. Team morale is high. And you can clearly tell the new hire is highly engaged and ready to go.

But he or she is not getting the work done.

Why is this?

There’s a handy, quick mental process I like to go through with leaders when they are second-guessing a latest hire.

Is it really the new hire, or is it your management?

Here is how you can tell.

1. Does the new employee show a clear understanding of their role, responsibilities, and your expectations?

Be careful not to downplay this. I have worked with many great companies whose new hires may receive a job description and a desk as their orientation. The manager counts on the team to fill in the blanks for the new person. If your company takes this casual stance, you are losing money and a potentially great employee.

What does the new hire’s manager truly expect of them and their area of responsibility? What are the goals set for them? Timelines? Metrics?

2. Does the new hire have the right tools and resources to do the job?

Again, most leaders will respond with an immediate “yes.” But they are basing this on what they think the employee needs to do the job. Has he or she been asked the question, “What do you need in order to achieve your goals here? Do you have the tools and resources you need?” Just test this. You may be surprised.

3. Has the immediate supervisor developed an accountability system with their new employee?

Can the employee access their immediate supervisor on a regular basis for help and questions? Does he or she get the regular feedback needed so they know they are on track? The opposite is more prevalent than you would hope.

In fact, according to one study by Dresser & Associates, HR, Payroll, and Management Solutions, only 7% of managers and 10% of senior executives in the workforce are held accountable consistently for developing their direct reports through performance management processes.

How do you compare?

Four Types of Leadership Behaviors You Can’t Do Without

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Four Types of Leadership Behaviors You Can’t Do Without
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How many leadership behaviors have you read about? Ten? Twenty? Another number?

Pretty mind-boggling, isn’t it? And if you are like many, such a sea of varying information can cause you to simply put the latest article aside and go back to doing things the way you know how.

In the world of leadership development, schools of thought are just as varied, and this means that I, as executive coach, can choose to use an assessment that evaluates 10 areas, or 26 areas.

So, now what?

If you are seeking to fast-track your leadership in this new year, I advise that you focus on enhancing just a small subset of four leadership behaviors.

Just four areas.

New research reveals that these four types of leadership behaviors account for 89% of leadership effectiveness, especially for front-line leaders. (Source: McKinsey’s Organizational Health Index https://www.mckinsey.com/)

McKinsey & Company surveyed 81 organizations, diverse in industry and geography (agriculture, consulting, energy, government, insurance, mining, and real estate in North America, Latin America, Asia, and Europe).

The results showed the following four areas of leadership to be most important, explaining 89% of the variance between strong and weak organizations in terms of leadership effectiveness.

  1. Supporting others.
  2. Solving problems effectively.
  3. Operating to follow through for results.
  4. Seeking different perspectives.

What does this mean for you?

Well, what it doesn’t mean is that you just need these four and then you can sit back and relax. But what it does mean is that, as you review your leadership commission and where to start, it may well be with these four.

Rating yourself on a scale of 1-5, how do you feel you measure up?

I’ve included some reflective questions to help you begin your assessment:

Supporting others.

Do you operate with authenticity, and show a sincere interest in those around you? Do you seek to inspire and build trust? Are you adopting the approach “tough on issues, tender on people”?

Solving problems effectively.

Are you thoughtful as you analyze and consider best options for action? Do you seek to be proactive in identifying and anticipating challenges, and to come up with solutions, rather than to react too quickly without the information you need, risking a poor decision?

Operating to follow through for results.

Do you marry vision and supporting strategy to action? Have you mastered the behaviors required to meet your goals and objectives, and can you manage people, products, and process effectively so that outcomes are a reflection of your best work?

Seeking different perspectives.

As esoteric as it sounds, do you “seek first to understand, then to be understood?” (Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People). Do you ask your team members to contribute ideas for performance improvement? Are you keeping the pulse on changes in the environment that are likely to influence your company and your work?

Developing any one of these four is a game-changer, and I will tell you frankly that you probably won’t do this alone. Why? It is one thing to be self-aware about the changes one needs to make, and it’s quite another to be able to effectuate those shifts and make them part of who you truly are. You will need to tap into some kind of expert support to step into more of this potential.

This said, the first step to change is to identify the needed change. So, where will you start? What will give you the greatest ROI in your own leadership?

And secondly, who might help you get there?