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When You’ve Lost Your Way

October 26, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Rediscovering the True North of Your Leadership

Leading in your life and work has its hazards. There is much to do – busy demands, managing much.

Sometimes, a talented professional has reached a certain modicum of success, but discovers that she has not reached her full potential – and she doesn’t really know why.

She feels stalled.

She has lost her leadership compass – her true north.

If you have ever reached this point, or you find yourself in a destructive or unethical pattern, feeling trapped and confused, be encouraged! There’s a way out.

I coach two kinds of female executives and professionals: high achievers, and high potentials. They engage me because they have reached a certain success, and now they are ready for more.

Lately, women from both groups have been coming to me for help because they are stalled at some point in their career or in their outcomes. I call this situation a mid-life conflict, and it is the outcome of a sort of unwitting self-sabotage. This conflict happens when a talented individual works at such a fast and furious pace over time to produce exceptional results. By adopting this mode as a permanent way of “doing” to the point that she also adopts it as a permanent way of “being,” she becomes constantly reactive instead of responsive. As she isolates herself and hyper-focuses on only work, the demands keep coming. The goals continue to rise. Over time, this dynamic erodes her personal leadership and her sense of self – the unique qualities, traits, and values that helped her to rise above the crowd to succeed in the first place.

Sheila found herself in such a situation. During the early part of her leadership, she served as executive director for a large area of responsibility.

“I focused on my performance and how much I could achieve,” she shared. “It became addicting, and I sought greater and greater rewards. But getting noticed was most important to me, because I thought I had to run fast to get to the top. This frenzy took precedent over the money I was making. If I received recognition through hitting goals, it told me I was worthy as leadership material. So I kept pushing hard.”

“That must have been a tough and stressful road,” I said. “That kind of approach can help fast-track your success to a certain point, but then you usually hit a wall.”

“How did you know?” she asked, “I feel like I’ve boxed myself into a corner, and now I’m not performing as I have in the past. Additionally, I’m not sure I’ve made many friends of my colleagues. It’s pretty lonely up here. I was so busy rising to the top, and now, I’m not sure if I can redirect this mess. Sure, I can work on the way I approach things – but my professional credibility as an emerging leader may be lost.”

Sheila’s situation was not new. She is what Bill George and Andrew McLean would call a “shooting star.” In their article, “Why Leaders Lose Their Way,” they discuss five perils of the leadership journey, and these ultimately result in failure.

A shooting star is one that lacks “the grounding of an integrated life” (George and McLean). Their career is everything to them, and they are always on the go to get ahead. Balance is not part of their lexicon, and family, friends, and community connections suffer. As they push forward, stress mounts, and with the ever-changing marketplace, they must continue running faster. This means their pace is so rapid that they don’t allow the bandwidth or time to learn from their mistakes, resulting in stalled leadership.

Can a shooting star turn this around? Yes.

The answer lies in re-grounding.

But re-grounding not a simple case of re-balancing. It’s not just changing your tactics, scheduling some vacation time, and doing some intensive power networking. If you find yourself in a place where your present success has cost you a great deal of your life, and perhaps your professional future, then you must first tap back into the who and why of your leadership.

Because leadership means taking the lead.

Leadership is not a role or function; it’s a mindset and an intentional approach to all you undertake, accompanied by the thoughts, behaviors, and actions that support taking charge.

And being in charge means knowing who you are and what you are about. At its best, it’s coming from a platform of integrity, coming from center, so that your impact is significant.

To see this, you first need to understand what makes your leadership unique – your Leadership DNA. This is a combination of your purpose supported by your values and your natural strengths as you take action.

Then, you need to relate this Leadership DNA to the vision of the enterprise and its bottom line. And you work it. You strengthen and exercise this Leadership DNA so that you are aligned and powerful in all you do, from your focus and your direction to the actions you take, the decisions you make, and the people you affect.

Coming back from a stall-out – or better yet, avoiding one and taking your leadership to the next level, requires that you can answer the following tough questions – and know how to flex and integrate these into your being.

Who are you as leader?
What is your purpose?
What values will you use as your compass?
What fuels your best work?
How does your Leadership DNA impact the organization and its bottom line?

Who are you as leader? What is your purpose?

Click over to our LinkedIn Community to share your response and join in the discussion.

Bill George and Andrew McLean. “Why Leaders Lose Their Way.” Strategy and Leadership. Vol. 35, no. 3, 2007, pp. 4-11. Emerald Group Publishing Limited.

Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

The 3 Things You Need to Get Ahead

October 19, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

The 3 Things You Need to Get Ahead, Influence Others, and Drive Results

Once upon a time, there was a talented executive who was on her way to the top. She excelled at everything that was thrown her way, and remained hungry for more.

The great boss at the top turned to the leadership team and said, “Let’s bring her into the circle. Let’s promote her. For she has done well, and she will therefore do well, here, with greater responsibility.”

And so they did. And everyone applauded. And the talented executive beamed. She knew she had this one.

She knew she could achieve the impossible at this new level, because she created a large trail of success, wherever she went.

But instead of succeeding, she fell flat on her face.

And the leadership team began to doubt its decision.

“What do I do?” she cried out one evening at her desk. “I know I am talented. And I have always achieved at whatever has been placed before me. Am I not leadership material, as I previously thought I was?”

Right then, there was a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” she called out.

“Burt,” the voice responded. “It’s Burt, the leadership genie. I heard your cry. And I have a package here for you – it’s the missing ingredient to your success…”

Okay, dear Reader, now you know why I’m not a well-known author of fairy tales. But let me pick up here to make the point: There are just 3 ingredients to success. Really – just 3 ingredients. And we are often missing just one when we find ourselves on the other side of the window looking in at the inner leadership circle.

Here are the 3 ingredients:

You must have all 3 of these supporting each other in order to get ahead. If one of them is out of sync, you cannot lead effectively.

Here is a brief explanation of each, and how they need to play together to support you:

Mindset: How you lead yourself. Mindset is the way you perceive yourself; your beliefs in your ability to lead and succeed. And it’s what you do with these – how you manage yourself – your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors – in an aligned way that reflects integrity, strength, and authenticity.
Engagement: How you lead others. Engagement is how you show up and connect with others. It’s how you communicate to build trust and influence. It’s your ability to exude a powerful and respected presence, which causes others to stop and listen when you speak, and to regard your opinions with respect.
Energy: How you lead the enterprise. Energy is how you support the larger vision while masterfully aligning and managing the moving parts. It is systems thinking in your goal-setting, decision-making, and your action-taking to keep the enterprise relevant and vibrant.

So what does this have to do with our talented executive in the fairy tale?

Let’s listen in to the scene where she is carrying on about her frustration…

(knock on the door)

“Who is it?” she called out.

“Burt,” the voice responded. “It’s Burt, the leadership genie. I heard your cry. And I have a package here for you – it’s the missing ingredient to your success…”

She opened the door to find – her boss.

He smiled, came in, and sat down.

“Okay, true confessions, as you know, my first name is Burt, but surprise, surprise, I’m not a genie. However, I think I have the answer to what you were carrying on about in here a minute ago.”

“Oops,” she said sheepishly.

“Talented Executive, you’ve been a success up to this point in whatever you’ve undertaken. And I believe you can be a success in this new appointment as well. But you are going to have to change something fundamental about the way you operate.”

“The way I operate?” she said. “It’s always gotten me where I need to go – what do I need to change?”

“Talented Executive, you have a healthy Mindset. You believe in your ability to succeed, and you are eager to take charge and achieve your goals through successful implementation.

What’s more, you are able to look at the larger picture strategically, so that your goal-setting and work supports the larger vision of the company. So your use of Energy is great.”

“So what gives?” she answered. “What’s not to love?”

“What got you here won’t get you where you want to go. Just because you’ve succeeded with a certain approach in the past doesn’t mean it will work in this new position. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve been getting sideways glances from some of your new leadership team. And a bit of rumbling. I saw you bristle the other day when you heard someone question whether you could make your initiative work. What you may not know is that some are questioning your motives.”

“I don’t understand,” she protested. “It’s a great plan, and they should see that!”

“Talented Executive, when you joined this team, you forgot one thing. Everything you do affects the entire system, now. Your new responsibilities cover many areas, so what you do affects your entire leadership team and their areas, as well. And they don’t know you. Why should they support your ideas? The one ingredient you are missing is strong Engagement, and your leadership future depends on this. Building trust, being able to exercise your influence effectively… Heck, even getting others to listen to you when you speak up in meetings – think about it.”

Talented Executive was silent.

Burt Boss continued. “So although I think you can pull this initiative off, I’m going to ask you to put it on the shelf, for now. For this year, I want you to build relationships with your peers and key stakeholders. Because without establishing yourself as part of the team, strengthening your influence factor with them, getting them to listen to you and enlisting their buy-in, well, you just won’t get far in this position if you don’t have that rapport first.”

Talented Executive was floored. “You’re kidding,” she said. “You are going to kiss the potential of more than $3 Mil in the next 18 months goodbye?”

“You bet,” said Boss. “Because if you do what I am recommending, I believe we will see an even greater ROI.”

And they actually did. Talented Executive worked on her Engagement – and by the end of that first year, had actually worked with a couple of the other members of the leadership team to come up with something that generated far more revenue.

I love a happy ending – don’t you?

When you think about Mindset, Engagement, and Energy – which one is holding you back? Join us for our LinkedIn discussion and share!

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Why Aren’t You Leading? Part II

October 5, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Mastering Your Inner Leader, Part II

Last week, I asked you why you aren’t leading.

And a lot of you have written in to tell me why.

A few of you cited you needed more confidence – most of you stated you were ready to do the work, but you weren’t quite sure where to start.
Not surprisingly, every single one of you admitted that you were capable of more.
You also mentioned being at a place in your life where you are ready to lead – to take charge, and to accept greater responsibility for more recognition and reward.

Last week, we talked about the vital step of mastering your inner leader before you can “take it outside” to effectively engage and execute as one. Most people make the mistake of thinking they can develop their leadership simply by attending a company’ program designed for this, or by reading the best books on the subject and putting learning to practice. How hard can it be, after all? But these efforts fail.

There are a few reasons why this doesn’t work, even though the United States spends more than $170 Billion annually on training. And we explored this last week.

But it came down to this: You must empower your leadership from the inside out!

In other words, you must identify and know how to effectively use the unique abilities you possess within to govern your decisions, behaviors, and actions. And we started with values – key to success. You can read more about it here in Part I.

This week, I want to discuss the next important step in mastering your inner leader…identifying into your life themes to discover your purpose, or your “why.”

Why is this important? It’s how you do your job – and why.

Keeping your purpose central to all you do keeps the passion flowing in your leadership. It’s the heart-to-action connection. It also makes your leadership distinctive – something that helps you to stand out and rise above the crowd.

A while ago, I sat with a woman named Jane.

“Patti,” she said, “I doubt you can help. My motivation left me about a year ago. I’ve lost touch with colleagues and team. Goals aren’t exciting. I wish I was retired – yesterday.”

“You are checking out – I can hear that,” I answered. “What happened?”

“You tell me. That’s why you are here,” she smiled.

So I asked Jane why she did what she did. What fired her up to get going in the morning? What difference was she making in her leadership, and in the outcomes she produced for the company? And she couldn’t tell me.

“You’ve lost your reason for leading,” I said. “It’s your purpose. We sometimes call it ‘your why.’”

“So,” she asked, “How did that happen?”

“Oh, it happens when we don’t stay true to our life themes, our purpose. Purpose is what drives us. It fuels meaning and satisfaction.”

“Can I get it back?”

“Yes, you can,” I smiled.

I worked with Jane on identifying the main themes throughout her life that had driven her decisions and actions. Two things stood out for us: Jane had always sought to be an advocate and a teacher – even when small. It showed up on the playground, in her volunteer work in college, and throughout her career. We could look back and see how she had used it to rise to be the executive she was, today.

But about a year ago, Jane had been assigned an ailing initiative requiring her full attention. And we noticed that when she did so, she began to lose the passion in her work. A closer examination revealed that Jane had not actively considered how to use her advocate and teacher themes in approaching the initiative. Instead, she had taken quite a different approach that was creating burnout as it depleted her energy. As she lost her edge, she began to disconnect from others in small ways. Over a year’s time, she wound up feeling isolated and alone.

Fortunately, we were able to turn this around, reconnecting with her life themes of advocate and teacher, and shifting her approach to incorporate these into her work. I’m happy to report that after reconnecting with her purpose, she is back in top form, and loving her work, once again. Others recognize it – and she is being considered for a greater role.

What are your life themes? Can you look back over the years to see what roles you have naturally sought to play, and what energizes you as you do so?

Here’s are some quick questions to get you started in identifying your why:

Describe 3 experiences in your life when you faced challenges. How have they shaped you?
Look back at a period in your life when you felt special, as though you were meant for “this.” What were you doing? What was the role you played, and what energized you?
For what reasons do people seek your help? Among those, which ones energize you?

Meanwhile, please join me in our LinkedIn group for more discussion on this topic.

How do you integrate your values in your work?

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

You Have a Great Vision and an Aggressive Plan: Why Are You Stuck?

July 6, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

You are a seasoned professional who is intelligent and skilled. You have a world of opportunities ahead, and have set some high goals for greater success.

You’ve envisioned what you want success to look like, and you have drawn up a great action plan to get there (many of you have actually hired someone to help you with this!).

Yet, you find yourself stuck and unable to move forward. What’s more, you aren’t sure why. Here’s what we know: When there is an internal conflict or fear that you have not yet confronted, you will not move forward easily.

And here are 5 possible reasons why:

1. Your vision doesn’t align with your values.

Surprising, but true. Many times, we don’t cross-reference our vision with our values. When this happens, and our values collide, the internal conflict that follows keeps us from moving forward. We may not even understand why – it just simply “doesn’t feel right.”

Coaching tip: Find a list of personal values, and determine which top five you hold in highest regard for your life. Now review these as you look at your vision. Is there anything about the latter that does not align with one or more of your values? If so, what needs to shift or change in your vision to support you?

2. You just aren’t that into it.

When you created your vision and considered the change it would make in your life, how important was succeeding to you? Many times, we set goals because these are important to others in our intimate circle, and we want to please and keep the peace. This doesn’t work in the long run, and it doesn’t ignite passion for achievement, even in the short term.

Coaching tip: Revisit your vision. How important is reaching this to you personally, on a scale of 1-5? If you respond with a number less than 4, odds are that you are not going to achieve your goals.

3. You are listening to too many voices.

Everyone has an opinion. When others hear about your work, some will be quick to share how strategy A never works – strategy B is always best. The next person will tell you the opposite. Every opinion will begin to sound right – and you can’t go down two paths at once. Result? A confused mind does nothing.

Coaching tip: If your plan reflects sound strategies, then give those a chance. Work them for at least 90 days, then assess to see if they are working as they should.

4, The payoff is too great right where you are.

Let’s face it – change is uncomfortable. And if you are receiving some sort of intrinsic reward or emotional payoff for staying stuck, you are not going to move forward.

Coaching tip: What’s comfortable about your discomfort? Are you on top of your responsibilities, and afraid of failing if you move forward? Are you getting emotional sympathy from others about your current situation? What payoff are you receiving for remaining right where you are?

5. You are afraid to succeed.

This one is challenging. It means you are afraid of losing something you currently have – a key relationship, a lifestyle, or even your identity.

Coaching tip: Acknowledge your fear, and then ask yourself what you will lose by not moving forward. What will yield the greater return for you? Staying where you are – or moving toward goal?

What keeps you stuck? And what do you need to change in order to move forward?

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Taking Your Problem-Solving From Good to Great: The Missing Step

June 29, 2016 By Patti Cotton 1 Comment

One of your managers has two employees who argue often about which one of them is responsible for certain tasks assigned to their area…not just once, but a few times over a span of months. Other employees are complaining.

The manager has reported to you that he has had to intervene more than once to solve this, and finally sent them to a conflict management seminar last month. Yet, you just received a report that the two employees are at it again.

You’ve summoned the manager, and will ask him to terminate the two immediately.

But – are they really the problem?

Sometimes the conflict or challenge we think we have identified is not the real problem at all.

Problem-solving is a critical skill that does not receive enough attention in most executive development programs. Yet this one area is the one that most often holds professionals back from being more effective.

Most often, poor problem-solving can be due to just one critical step that is overlooked – getting to the root cause.

You see, the two employees aren’t the root cause of the problem. And because they are not, the problem will arise again and again, no matter who replaces them.

A classic problem-solving model will look something like this:

Identify the problem.
Determine the root cause of the problem.
Come up with possible solutions.
Select what you feel is the best solution.
Implement the solution.
Evaluate the outcome.

Many people will jump over the second step, reacting to what they see as the problem, but which is actually just a symptom of the root cause. This means that any solution they attempt may stop the immediate crisis, but it won’t really fix things.

So how do we get to the bottom of things?

A simple “5 Whys” technique will solve quite a bit.

The 5 Whys technique was developed by Sakichi Toyoda and used within the Toyota Motor Corporation at a critical stage in its manufacturing development. It’s a technique used to explore the cause-and-effect relationships underlying a particular problem.

Let’s see how it works with the example of the two employees:

Two employees continue to create a disturbance in the workplace (the problem).

Why?
They continue to argue with one another.
Why?
They do not agree on who will perform which tasks in their area.
Why?
Each thinks he knows who should perform which task, and their opinions differ.
Why?
Their roles and duties are not well-defined so as to clarify who owns what responsibilities within the area.
Why?
The manager has not taken the time to review roles and responsibilities and to clarify these with his reports.

Now, we could carry this further and add a couple of “Whys,” and this would show that the manager’s boss has not taken the time to investigate why the manager cannot stop the problem.

You see, even though the employees are adults and they are responsible for how they conduct themselves, the root cause of the conflict, unless remedied, will tend to fuel more conflict, no matter who replaces these employees.

So before you react to a perceived problem next time, try the “Five Whys” exercise. I’m interested to see what insights this might provide for you!

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.