Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

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Are You Holding Your Employees Hostage?

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Are You Holding Your Employees Hostage?
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Five Ways to Find Out…

Do your employees feel happy and secure at work?

Or do they feel as though they are being held hostage?

You may not realize it, but when an enterprise is trust deficient, its employees suffer, which means the company does, too.

In fact, if your culture isn’t emotionally connected, your employees can experience the same stressful range of emotions as a hostage does, feeling anxious, fearful, and with the ambition to get out quickly.

It’s difficult to detect the emotions – but you can readily see the effects. What should you look for? And what’s causing it?

Here are five ways to identify whether your culture is lacking in trust, and what is causing it.

  1. Your executive team hasn’t had a new idea in ages.

Your executives are aware of changing trends, but they aren’t exhibiting the creativity and innovation needed for the company to retain its competitive edge. This usually indicates an atmosphere where new and creative is not welcome, or where the opinions of others are not valued.

Are you surrounded by “yes” people who always think your ideas are wonderful?

If so, you will want to take a look at your listening skills and determine if you are encouraging the perspectives of others – not being first with all the answers.

  1. You have a manager who is a chronic complainer.

Your managers tend to shy away from solutions and wait for you to solve problems. One of them consistently brings complaints to your door.

Are you holding them accountable for results?

I’m guessing you are. But are you empowering them with the ability to come up with possible solutions to problems?

If you have complainers or those who wait for orders, this means you need to exercise providing feedback to help them take that responsibility.

  1. One of your teams doesn’t play well with others.

Teams have trouble getting the work done when they must involve other teams to complete an initiative.

Does one of your teams have a chronic “bad kid” reputation? If they can’t connect well with others to get the job done, this means a conversation about their performance with the rest of the enterprise.

Of course, this can’t be done in isolation – chances are, if you have a “bad kid” team in your company, the culture supports it. Time to revisit.

  1. You put up with a key employee who is rough around the edges.

This person is great at technical skills, but very poor when it comes to getting along with others.

This is close to #3 above – the “bad kid” team. However, if you have put up with a key employee who is rough around the edges, this probably means you don’t want to touch the situation for a reason.

Perhaps the person is a star performer or some kind of genius who can do something for your enterprise that no one else can.

Think again – when an employee is allowed to mistreat or disrespect others, this is a de-motivator to the rest of your employee base. Demotivation leads to productivity loss, turnover, etc. – so, no matter how good they are, their behavior is not worth putting up with. Find a solution.

  1. One or more of your teams or areas is less productive than others.

This can manifest in ways such as sub-par productivity, continually missed deadlines, and finger-pointing and blaming in meetings.

Who is steering your ship? If you find that you are continually taking that team’s manager to task on poor performance, this means you haven’t defined what productivity looks like – or you aren’t holding him or her accountable to that shared agreement.

Being transparent about how this is affecting the larger body is pivotal. You are otherwise disrespecting your entire employee base.

These five scenarios cultivate a culture that is devoid of trust. And when trust is lacking, the enterprise will suffer. Where do you need more trust in your organization? Download the infographic to find out.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Why Downsizing May Not Be the Answer

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The Hidden Costs of Downsizing
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Tom S., CEO of the Jansen Company (fictitious individual and company names, real client), called me a short time after downsizing.

The company had lost quite a few customers due to the bad press it had received for this.

Employee morale and engagement were rapidly sinking.

There was a loss in productivity due not only to the occurrence itself, but also because the remaining employees had to absorb the work previously done by those having lost their jobs.

The cost in dollars to Jansen was significant and surprising.

The move to restructure had been a move to stop profit bleed. But just totaling money spent on loss of market share due to bad press, severance packages for those laid off, and current training costs for those who needed to absorb the work left behind, was more than the company had projected.

Additionally, employee turnover was on the rise, as people didn’t trust what the company might do next. The search for replacements was also costing Jansen money, time, and effort, as well as the onboarding and training to get the new people up to speed.

Things were a mess as a result of the downsizing.

It appeared that Jansen’s downsizing had been an incredibly poor idea that did not pay off.

It’s a fact that a majority of layoffs do not turn out well. Downsizing has become a default response to an ambiguous future marked by swift advances in technology, volatile markets, and growing competition (for more on this, see “Layoffs That Don’t Break Your Company” by Sucher and Gupta, Harvard Business Review, May-June 2018 issue).

There are new and more successful alternatives emerging – but in Jansen’s case, this was now water under the bridge.

The CEO had called me in because the executive team members were under extreme stress. A couple of them who had never worked well together were simply not talking to one another. He was afraid that some of these executives might secretly be job hunting, and the company couldn’t afford such a final blow.

He wondered if executive coaching might be the answer to supporting his team with the agility they needed as they faced managing this unexpected situation.

I agreed to meet with each one of the executives individually to get a sense of where they were vis-à-vis their commitment to the company and to assess their ability to manage change.

As I did so, I learned that their effectiveness as team members and as team itself had been compromised long before the decision to downsize took place.

And I wished I could have coached them sooner – before they found themselves in such a difficult situation. Because what I identified were some areas in their leadership that, had these been strengthened, might have circumvented the downsizing and what led up to it.

Here were the chief team and individual behaviors I uncovered. These led to high COI (costs of inaction).

  • Poor communication and conflict management (by the way, this one area account for around 67% of all productivity loss in any enterprise)
  • Slow and poor decision-making processes leading to less-than-optimal outcomes
  • Ineffective approaches to bring others along in the process for buy-in and commitment
  • Poor ability to keep eyes on the horizon for trends and shifts while managing the present
  • Poor stress management from high productivity and little return
  • Unwillingness to consider multiple perspectives leading to better creativity and innovation

I believe Jansen would not have had to consider downsizing, had decision-makers recognized the value of intentional and consistent leadership development.

Leadership directly affects all levels of the organization’s success.

Is your leadership producing a great ROI? Here are some questions to help you gauge this:

  1. Are people clamoring to work for your company? Are your employees highly engaged and productive?
  2. Is your business consistently increasing revenue and profitability? Or are there areas that need help?
  3. Are you retaining your current market share and capturing more? Or are you stalled at a certain point?
  4. Where do you stand vis-à-vis the competition? How well are your products and services reflecting the innovation you need to be on top?
  5. What does overall performance look like for your enterprise? Are there any silos or broken parts needing your attention?

Schedule a Complimentary Discovery Session!

The 3 R’s of Stress Reduction

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The 3 R’s of Stress Reduction
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According to a Monster.com survey, workplace stress is a real issue. The results indicate 61% of respondents consider workplace stress a cause of illness, and 84% claim it impacts their personal lives in some form or fashion. Perhaps the most alarming statistic was that 66% said those in authority do nothing to help alleviate it.

In fact, those in authority – across several studies – were a major source of the stress.

Stress stems from several factors, and for each, there are internal contributors and external contributors. Here are just a few.

  • Perfection – Perfectionism can be rooted in your own thoughts, insecurities, and unrealistic expectations – or those of your company leaders.
  • Financial Pressures – Internal factors include your mindset around the issue of money (fear of loss or, ironically for some, fear of success), your expectations for how much you need to live the life you desire, and your habits of management. External factors are determined by the mindset, priorities, and practices of company leaders.
  • Conflict – Internal conflict stems from unresolved issues, whether real or perceived. External conflict stems from these same sources – unresolved issues, real or perceived.
  • Loss of Control – It is human nature to desire at least some form of control over ourselves, our circumstances, and our environment. This creates an inherent problem in today’s 24/7 world, where if not kept in check, the demands of work can control all other areas of life.

How can you lessen the stress?

Dr. Henry Cloud said it in one word, “Boundaries.”

Boundaries are important in the workplace – on both sides of the equation. As a leader, you want a workforce of people who are effectively engaged and get results. If your team is on the verge of burnout, your results will be impacted.

As an employee, you want to do your job and do it well, but you also need boundaries to ensure that your life stays well-rounded and that your relationships are healthy.

These guidelines work for both leaders and employees, and for internal and external stress factors.

Apply these 3R’s of Stress Reduction

1. Release

Releasing a situation is letting go of a perceived hurt by another person, a dysfunctional relationship with money, or the mistreatment of our own bodies. Symptoms that indicate the need to release something are things like cardiovascular disease, being in debt, or avoiding places where we might encounter “that other person.” If your situation is something you need to release, it’s time to do so. You are hurting no one but yourself if you continue to carry it.

Release perfection, both in your expectations of yourself and your expectations of employees. Strive for excellence, not perfection. Aim for progress, not perfection.

2. Reconcile

This term can be confusing. Most think it means making up with someone else – shaking hands, forgiving, and forgetting. But oftentimes, it simply means coming to terms with reality and accepting it, which is an agreement with either yourself or with someone else. Dropping the wishing and hoping, and recognizing that things are as they are – and that we have choices to be with those people or things – or not. Reconciliation can occur within us, or relationally.

3. Reframe

In a house, reframing is placing a picture or a door in a new frame so that it hangs right and works well. In the relational world – how you relate to yourself and others – it is changing the way you view and experience events, ideas, concepts, and emotions to find more positive alternatives.

Now that you have these options, where do you start?

Begin by identifying what stories you are carrying with you that need changing.

What’s the source of tension? Is it money? A relationship with someone else? An old hurt of some kind that won’t go away?

Then, ask yourself what needs changing.

Whether or not your point of tension involves another person, you can change the way you interface with your particular situation. You are in charge of whether or not you opt to be in the situation in the first place, and if so, how you want to be involved.

By deciding to take charge and delineate better boundaries for your life, you are on the road to creating a happier and healthier outcome.

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.

How Much Do Others Really Trust You?

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How Much Do Others Really Trust You?
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How much do others really trust you?

Most people see themselves as rather trustworthy. The problem is that your perception may not be the same as the picture others have of you.

How can you tell if you need to boost your trust factor with others?

Beth was one who excelled in competence – but something in her character kept others from feeling confident in her leadership. They just didn’t trust her.

Sure, she was capable and committed to the company. Her results were hard to beat. But when she was put in charge of a team, her CEO received significant backlash.

“I’m not saying she isn’t a great executive,” said one team member. “But she’s hard to read and she often switches gears in the middle of a project. It’s like fielding flies. How can we work with her if she doesn’t share what she’s thinking? I’m not sure I can trust her.”

What part of trust was lacking in Beth? Transparency – a vital piece to sound leadership character. Where she excelled in performance and results, she lacked the ability to share readily with others. This absence of communication led others to believe that she did not value their participation. In fact, this stemmed from Beth’s fear of being doubted in her decision-making. But that’s another article. The end result for our purposes here was that because Beth did not communicate, people did not trust her. They saw her as competent, but untrustworthy all the same.

Another executive, Jack, connected well with and respected others in all he undertook. It was clear that he held positive intent with all endeavors. This is all part of leadership character.

But Jack’s ability to hold himself and others accountable – a part of leadership competence – was woefully inadequate. As a result, Jack’s performance and that of his team was hit and miss. Because he found it difficult to stick with a plan and hold others to it, he missed several good opportunities for promotion.

You’ll see in the list below that there are indeed two vital parts to trust:

  • Affective trust – the emotional part of trust. How well are you able to create mutually-based concern for and with others? How well do you create bonds with others that feel solid and authentic? We call things relating to this part of creating trust your leadership character.
  • Cognitive trust – the rational part of trust that causes others to feel you are reliable, dependable, competent. We call things relating to this part of creating trust your leadership competence.

As you review this list, what do you celebrate about your own leadership? Where are your growing edges?

And would others say the same?

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Are You Suffering From Empathy Erosion?

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Are You Suffering From Empathy Erosion?
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Are you suffering from empathy erosion?

Whether you are naturally empathetic or not, today’s highly competitive and digitized world is working steadily against your ability to see the world through others’ eyes and to understand their unique perspectives.

The problems this can cause for you both personally and professionally are enormous.

  • The ability to relate well with others
  • The ability to build trust
  • The power to persuade and influence

​And more!

Empathy erosion, however, isn’t easily detectable until it reaches a point of danger.

Are you there? If so, your ability to lead has been compromised.

Where are you on the “empathy scale”?

And what can you do about it?

Empathy is a foundational part of emotional intelligence, allowing us to respond appropriately and to develop deep levels of rapport and trust. It is closely connected to cultural competence, which allows us to connect and relate well with people of other cultures, beliefs, and backgrounds.

We are wired to experience empathy. At birth, there are also other factors that go into helping us to develop this as we mature. When we possess a fair amount of empathy, and we see someone in pain or feeling happy, we can, to a certain extent, experience the same. You might see this ability to feel or intuit others’ emotions as a sort of “neural Wi-Fi” that allows us to connect with the feelings of others around us.

Empathy is key to leadership success. The ability to persuade and inspire others, to make things happen through influence, rather than through pressure and duress are all contingent on possessing a high level of empathy.

The problem with empathy, however, is that you must practice it to keep it. And in a rapidly-changing, ever-evolving business world we are seeing signs of empathy “erosion.”

Poor communication and conflict are on the rise, as technology replaces the need for meaningful connection.

Inside company walls, a lack of empathy means that highly-skilled leaders and managers can be abrasive and out of touch with their workforce as they attempt to meet demands at a rapid pace. Further, a recent study at the University of Southern California shows that the growing lack of empathy is not evenly distributed; that “…middle management and senior executives are showing the biggest deficit in empathy – the very people who need it most because their actions affect such large numbers of people” (Ernest J. Wilson III, “Empathy is Still Lacking in the Leaders Who Need It,” Harvard Business Review).

With this phenomenon, coworkers struggle to build trust with one another, and to be inclusive in process and decision-making – especially as many are coming from different generations and cultures. This means a workplace that is high in conflict and other poor workplace behaviors, and low on collaboration, morale, engagement, and productivity.

Outside company walls, it is empathy that can make the difference from the competition, as we read more effectively the pulse on customer demand and have a greater ability to cultivate deeper and more effective relationships with them. It is empathy that allows more successful expansion as we negotiate presence and activity in other cultures and countries.

Indeed, in a world where we seek connection, meaning, and contribution more than ever before, empathy must be intentionally practiced.

But where do you start?

How do you go about strengthening your own level of empathy?

A first step is to make friends with emotions – and get back in touch with your own.

Emotions are not good or bad – they just are. They are triggers tied to past experiences and serve to tell you to pay attention to the situation at hand. But if you are like most, you have learned to shut down emotions that make you uncomfortable so that you can continue to operate at high speed. The thing about emotions is that if you ignore them, they will build up and erupt somewhere at some time when you least expect it – and most often, inappropriately. When this happens, frustration and stress can mount and nothing is resolved.

To normalize this dynamic, it is necessary to first tap back into how you feel so that you become comfortable with emotions as they occur. When I work with clients on raising their empathy quotient, we begin with a list of positive and negative emotions. I ask them to set their alarm three times daily and when the alarm sounds, to stop, look at the list, identify the emotion they are feeling, and write it down. Record the time of day, the emotion felt, and the situation to which it was connected. If you do this, you will begin to expand your repertoire of recognizable emotions, to note what triggers them, and to accept them as part of you.

Once you begin to get back in touch with emotions and to spot them in others, you can then start to acknowledge others’ emotions so that they feel heard.

This is paramount to building bonds and the beginning of greater trust. As you tune in and expand your own repertoire of emotions, pay attention to the spoken and body language of others. Validating the feelings of others allows them to feel understood as human beings.

An example might be if someone comes in to your office saying, “I’m really frustrated about that project!” This is your cue to refrain from jumping in to try and fix or to ask questions. Instead, acknowledge their emotion, first – something like, “I’m sorry that you are frustrated. That’s no fun!” Wait for the other person to take this in. Give them the space to expound on this. Your acknowledgment of how they are feeling tells them that you have heard or recognized their emotions as valid. They feel “seen” as a human being.

Another example might be if you see someone looking puzzled, you can stop the conversation and say, “Hey, you look puzzled…” This demonstrates to the other person that you notice and care for the way they feel. This can open the door to better, more meaningful discussion. It also allows you to learn if your impression of how the other person was feeling was correct, helping you to further fine-tune your radar for reading the emotions of others.

By 2030, 850,000 jobs will be replaced by automation. Many are asking how they can remain valid in a world that is shifting at such a pace.

Here’s what we know:

A machine cannot replace human connection. It cannot supply meaning or purpose. A machine does not have the capability to build bonds and trust. It cannot persuade, influence, or lead in a way that inspires others to follow.

This can only be accomplished by humans who care.

How’s your empathy quotient?