business coaching

New Year, Same You, Celebrate!

January 9, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

It’s that time of year, again, and the pressure is on to turn over a new leaf or achieve more. If you are like many of us, the process of identifying what we need to do more of, and visioning about what could be can be frustrating.

Indeed, the statistics on succeeding with New Year’s resolutions is grim. It is said that 80% fail by February. The reasons could fill a book (and they have!). But I’d like to propose a new approach for your new year that is more powerful.

Consider focusing on what is working for you and take that to a deeper level.

You see, we’ve fallen prey to thinking we must target imperfection and head for perfection. And perfection is something that is not humanly attainable. Even so, the world keeps telling us to get more, do more, and be more than we are – a dastardly setup. As we buy into this, it can create and feed the mindset of a hamster on a wheel – keep going, spin faster and faster. And we all know where that ends (if you don’t, the wheel only spins until the exhausted hamster stops).

What would it be like, instead, to capitalize on what is working for you and simply do more of that? To create a mindset of gratitude for the abilities you possess, and to use these to impact the world around you to a greater level?

Here’s a five-step process that can help you to be more of your best self, make bigger impact, and simplify your life at the same time:

1. Take an inventory to identify the top three gifts or abilities you bring to life’s table.

Are you someone who is able to influence others easily?
Do you have a special gift for making sure that things run smoothly? Note these.

2. Measure the impact you have been able to make by using these top three gifts.

In other words, because you have used these gifts, what outcomes have you been able to see for yourself?
For others?
How have these made a difference?

3. Do a mental scan.

Discover the opportunity you have to be even more effective through flexing these gifts.
Mentally scan the areas in life and work where you could use more of your top gifts to make greater impact. Let’s call these areas your “growth areas.”

4. Triage to streamline.

You may see a growth area where you can flex more influence, but in doing so, you won’t have as much time to spend doing other things.
Don’t make the mistake of stopping the exercise – this is part of the process. Instead, simply make a list of these other things.

5. Prioritize

Now, take the list of things you have identified that might interfere with flexing your gifts to a greater extent.
Are they things someone else can take over for you?
Or are they initiatives that are “nice” but not necessary – or which can be pushed back to a later time?
Be intentional in your prioritizing so that you create a picture for yourself that is congruent and effective.

You hold the key to the new year. You alone can choose how you want to spend your time, your focus, and whether you want to make significant impact.

I encourage you to step off the hamster wheel the world has created, and to claim a platform where you can truly make more of a difference.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Kintsugi and Strengthening Your Leadership

December 19, 2018 By Patti Cotton 1 Comment

How have you become the leader you are today? Your leadership has been shaped by the lessons you have learned in the past.

And when a particularly tough challenge throws you to the mat, this can be when you become the strongest.

But why is it when we fall flat on our backs that we are embarrassed and try to conceal this?

We are doing ourselves and others a disservice when we do so.

How?

Kintsugi.

The philosophy of Kintsugi is to treat breakage and repair as part of the history of the object, rather than a failure or flaw that should be disguised.

The story of how Kintsugi was born is that a 15^th century ruler once broke a rare and favorite bowl. Because of the history it represented to him, he sent it far away for repairs. When the bowl was returned, it was in poor shape, cobbled together with large and unsightly staples. The accompanying message said that the bowl was irreparable.

Because he valued the bowl so highly, the ruler was willing to accept this verdict. He then sought someone who could take new, creative measures to restore it.

The result was Kintsugi.

Kintsugi is the ancient art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted with gold, silver, or platinum.

Instead of hiding the breaks, it highlights them with one of these beautiful metals to embrace cracks and repairs as simply part of the object’s journey, rather than to consider that breakage ends its service.

What does this mean for your leadership?

You certainly haven’t thrown in the towel because you have met some difficult challenges. However, many of us in leadership may treat these moments as non-events in an effort to appear strong and unflawed.

This is a disservice.

To feign perfection in an effort to appear strong can discount growing from your experience.

Moreover, those around you need to understand that developing their own leadership means recognizing failures as valuable points of learning that make them even stronger.

If you aren’t confident enough to talk about the history behind some of your cracks and breakages, and to reframe these as part of the leader journey, then you are robbing others of their own valuable growth opportunities.

How can you begin to turn past bumps in the road into marks of beauty in your leadership?

Think back on a particular instance and ask yourself the following questions:

What did you learn from having encountered this difficulty?
What was the hidden “gold” in the failure?
How have you used this since – and how has it made you a stronger leader?

By reframing past failures as points of learning, you can now recognize these as part of the beauty of your leadership. And you provide inspiration and hope for those who are following behind.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Peter Drucker – Goals and Self-Control

December 12, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Peter Drucker once stated that his mission was to help other people achieve their goals.

Helping people reach their big leadership goals is what I do. If I can help them develop their leadership, they can then achieve the personal and professional things they set out to do.

And at face value, it’s easy to reach your goals.

To do this, all you need are these three things.

Define your goal
Identify the steps and ways to get there
Practice the self-control to work the plan

But a lot of leaders don’t reach the goals they set for themselves. Why? If the formula is so simple, where is the hitch?

To give some insight on this, I’d like to share some background about meeting objectives and reaching goals by reflecting on Peter Drucker. Drucker, a widely influential thought leader, has been described as the founder of modern management. I believe his work holds the key.

Drucker invented the concept of management by objectives and self-control, somewhat of a “household idea” in strategic planning today. He popularized this idea in his 1954 book, The Practice of Management.

Drucker maintained that in order to effectively reach objectives, these must first be defined by management and conveyed to other members of the organization. Then, it must be decided as to how to reach these objectives (strategies), and these strategies must then be broken down into sequential steps (tactics). The resulting outline or strategic action plan could then be used as a roadmap for those who had assigned responsibilities therein.

Drucker’s theory proposed to create an organized and positive work environment. As people worked the steps in the plan, they would be motivated by their achievements and spurred to continue on to the “finish line.”

Let’s translate all this into you as leader as you work on developing your own leadership.

Most of you reading this can easily identify the goals that are important to you. You can probably also outline the steps you need to take in order to reach your goals.

But you may not be reaching these.

What’s missing?

Self-control.

A lack of self-control is usually the culprit in thwarted goals. This is when leaders often call an executive coach. They’ve read the books, attended the boot camps, and yet, little has changed. And they aren’t quite sure what to do about it.

If this is you, it’s easy to feel discouraged and fall back into old patterns. After all, good enough is good enough – right?

But quietly, you know that if you develop greater leadership, you’ll benefit not only yourself and those around you, but the entire organization.

If you are at this point, I challenge you to adopt the following four tools.

These will help you to develop more self-control to move past obstacles and on to success.

1. Begin in a corner to set yourself up for success.

Is your goal to be a better communicator? Identify two to three things that will help you to become one. And then, start with just one of those. Let’s say your three strategies to becoming a better communicator include being a better listener, asking more questions, and being clearer and more concise in your written communications. Attempting to shift to all three of these behaviors at once is too much and will discourage the best of us. Begin with the one that feels easiest or like the biggest win, and work on that for a few weeks before taking on the next shift.

2. Assume a can-do attitude in your language.

What are the things you say to yourself when you think about taking that next step toward goal? Does your language feel heavy, full of examples like, “I need to…” “I have to…” “I must…”? Try shifting this type of language to one that is more encouraging, such as, “I am looking forward to trying…” “It’s fun to think about experimenting with this…” Look for the negatives and turn these around. Your language reinforces attitude with feelings around the work you need to do to reach goal.

3. Keep the transformation in mind.

If being a better listener is your goal, the transformation might be that by being a better listener, others will respect you more, share more, feel recognized, etc. and this will help to motivate and engage them, resulting in greater outcomes. Identify this transformation and keeping it in front of you as a carrot is powerful to helping you stay the course.

4. Congratulate yourself for wins and points of learning.

One step at a time. Each time you move a little closer to your goal, congratulate yourself. Each time you recognize when you have taken a step back, look at this as a point of learning. Ask yourself what you will do differently next time to move forward. The brain needs this in order to flex where it needs to go next. Rome wasn’t built in a day – and neither has your leadership been developed overnight. Decide that it’s “brick by brick” and keep going.

As you contemplate 2019 and what you would like to see in your personal leadership, remember that this is a journey. By traveling in this way, you model this for others, providing encouragement and a sound way forward.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Five Ways to Motivate Employees and Drive Results

November 28, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

How do you motivate employees and drive results at the same time?

When we think about a results-driven leader, we picture someone who is driving with intense focus toward a goal. Eyes front. No nonsense. A person who embodies the message, “Get out of my way, I will win!”

On the other hand, motivation requires that a leader possess a high degree of people skills, directing his or her energy toward inspiring and building positive relationships with their team. This requires taking the time to help employees develop new skills and talents along the way to success.

This is a lot to ask!

How do you, as leader, manage all this without losing your own focus or momentum?

Here are a few simple shifts that will help you both drive and motivate your team.

1. Leverage is your best friend – embrace it.

As a leader, you may feel as though you bear the burden of full responsibility to achieve the goals that have been placed before you. Not so!

Your job is to set the vision, map out the course, assign responsibilities, teach people the right steps to excel, and coach them to the finish line. If you feel as though you are pulling and dragging people to reach this finish line, you are carrying weight that doesn’t belong to you. You have disempowered your team. Your team wants to feel valued and that they contribute toward the larger picture. Put on your coaching “hat” and get out of the way.

2. Your foundation is everything.

Your foundation consists of your plan, your people, and the resources to do the job.

a. Is your plan solid?

Does it contain the “teeth” to leave no room for question? If your people are stalling at certain points, this means you need to clarify how to move forward. And are you regularly checking to see if the plan is moving your team in the right direction? This tells your team you care about them and their success.

b. Do you have the right people in place?

If you have a chronic underperformer, the finger should point back at you. What does this person need in order to perform more effectively? Have that conversation and if you discover that you are part of the problem, adjust and rewind. If, on the other hand, you find that the person simply isn’t the right fit, do yourself, the employee, and the rest of the team a favor and have the critical conversation that has been looming for some time.

c. Are you providing your team with the resources they need to do the job?

This is a big item. If you are asking them to reach the seemingly impossible, you also need to identify what they will need in order to achieve this. A runner can’t run without a well-mapped out course and the right amount of energy bars and water. Likewise, your team member can’t perform to capacity unless he receives the right kind of support and resources. What do your team members need in order to work more effectively? Ask! This helps them to see you have their best interests in mind and want to see them win.

3. “Rinse and repeat” should be your mantra.

It’s not how many steps; it’s how many right steps.

Be careful that you don’t throw your team off course if you aren’t seeing big results quickly. Check your direction, and check the steps you have outlined to get there. I recall leading a multi-million dollar campaign that had never before been achieved. As I learned to put together the strategic plan that ultimately helped us reach and exceed $21.3M in four years (unprecedented!), it was a real eye-opener to realize that just five steps, when repeated over and over, reaped the lion’s share of our results.

Have you identified your own multi-step formula? When you do, and you allow your team to flex and grow while working these steps, it allows them to master these, as well, because they must repeat them many times.

People love learning, and they love achieving. This is motivating. And that is what this does.

4. Evaluate often and collaboratively.

You need to have regular meetings set up to evaluate progress – no surprise (but I’m astounded at the number of leaders who don’t do this).

However, if you want to motivate your people, if you want to help them learn and grow, you will want to conduct your evaluations in a different way.

First, be sure you begin these meetings with celebrating what has gone well. Identify what is working and recognize people for their efforts.

Secondly, identify the “points of learning.” What didn’t work as well as you had hoped? Have your team dissect this with you and keep the focus on the moves and tactics that needing adjusting. No finger-pointing.

Third, address any big concerns, and allow the team to give input as to how these concerns might be addressed. You are allowing them to participate in creative problem-solving and to give them a “voice” in the solution. Again, feeling as though you are part of the solution and that your thoughts count is very motivating and reminds people that they are important to the larger picture.

5. Celebrate.

It is always a sad sore spot with me when leaders are recognized for achievements and efforts, and the team goes unrecognized.

Begin with your team – recognize them for efforts even if you can’t recognize for results.

Identify what about their contribution was helpful – get specific. In other words, saying “Good job on last week’s efforts, Dan,” rings hollow. But “Good job on your efforts to negotiate with our competitor, Dan. I believe your connecting with them will bear fruit,” is much different. Tell them why you are recognizing them and be sincere.

And when it comes time for you as leader to be recognized in bigger meetings, don’t forget to call out how your team helped to win. You truly could not have done this yourself – and you need to recognize this with others.

If you truly want to motivate and inspire your people, let them know they are an integral part of the success.

How do their contributions make a difference? And then, allow them to use these gifts to do so.

Your job is not to run the course alone – it is to coach an entire team to break that ribbon at the finish line. It is when you finally embrace this that you will reach those great results.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

3 Essential Shifts Every Leader Must Make

October 31, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Are you prepared to lead into the future?

Most leaders are not.

The world is increasing in complexity, and you as a leader must grow to support change effectively. The problem is that most in leadership have reached the top and stopped growing. They have given in to the false premise that, because they have the ability to meet today’s demands, they can certainly meet what the future brings.

Are you a leader who has reached the top – and stopped?

You may think you have what it takes. However, there are three shifts that, unless you make them, will quickly render you ineffective in the future.

What are these? And why should you pay attention when things are fine the way they are right now?

This week, we’ll talk about the first shift – why you need to make it and first steps to take.

Shift I: Relational Abilities Must Increase

Relational skills are now taking a front seat to all other leadership competencies. Your ability to relate well to others may work well today, but tomorrow’s leadership will need to call on more and to sharpen their emotional intelligence (“EQ”) on a consistent basis.

Why?

Emotional intelligence (“EQ”) is what helps you have high relational skills, and these are paramount to effective leadership.

Here are just some of the ways that EQ facilitates this:

EQ allows you to understand how your emotions and actions affect the people around you. This is necessary to regulating the way you interact with others so that you can create bonds and team.

EQ provides you with the ability to put yourself in the shoes of others, to understand how they feel, and to consider their perspectives. This ability to empathize can draw people to you and influence them. It can serve to power negotiations in tense times, and to promote compassion, which is a necessary component to embodying powerful servant leadership.

EQ promotes good communication. If you have forged bonds and trust with others, you tend to communicate better and more often, avoiding conflict and misunderstandings that poor communication fosters.

EQ provides you with the ability to mentor others and shape a healthy culture. Your ability to model high relational skills will serve as the prototype for your entire organization.

And in a world where constant change has become the norm, your ability to relate well to others is what will instill confidence in you and commitment to you on the part of those around you.

The problem is that we relate to others as we have been taught. This means that we bring with us a host of older experiences that color how well we are able to show up with and relate to others. Sharpening your EQ so that you up-level your ability to relate is more important than ever.

Are you already a pro in relating? Is your EQ high? You still need to make the shift to lead successfully into the future.

Here’s why: Emotional intelligence needs consistent exercise to remain effective. Your EQ is a “muscle” that needs flexing on a regular basis, or you will lose it. What’s more, just like working out at the gym, you can’t focus only on bicep curls and expect that the rest of your body will become fit by osmosis.

Use it – or lose it.

In fact, if you neglect your EQ for an extended period, you place yourself in danger of developing what we call Hubris Syndrome. If this is the case, you are now in imminent danger of losing your leadership position and perhaps your company.

How do you avoid this?

Here are 5 steps to systematically strengthen your EQ to support your relational skills.

1. Tap back into your own emotions. For example, how do you typically respond when someone delivers bad news to you? Criticizes you unfairly? Cuts you off on the freeway? By recognizing your emotions, you will be better able to regulate and control them so that you manage your relationships and interactions with others better. Tapping back into your emotions also allows you to recognize these emotions in others and to empathize with them. When you exhibit empathy, you build rapport, as others feel you care.

2. Ask others for their perspective. Leaders develop tunnel-vision when it comes to decision-making. After all, putting out fires all day long, dealing with the unexpected and the myriad of pieces that make up the organization requires fast thinking and acting. However, 60% of all decisions that leaders make are wrong, and this is primarily due to “either-or” problem-solving. “Either we do this, or we do that.” Asking others for their perspective on various issues that arise can give you added insight to expand your options. At the same time you widen your perspective-taking, you also allow others to feel they can contribute to the larger picture. And that’s a great relational skill.

3. Be curious instead of quick to judge. You think you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes, but can you really know how they feel? We bring our own experiences to the mix, and it is wise to ask questions rather than assume that you understand how they feel or what they want. Replace phrases such as, “I know just how you feel…” with ones like, “This feels devastating to me, but tell me how this affects you. I want to understand…”

4. Develop deep listening skills. There is perhaps no greater gift than that of being heard. Exercising deep listening skills is to hear beyond words, to ask questions instead of assuming, and to attune with another so they feel recognized and validated. Developing your skills in this area takes consistent practice, and it is well worth your time and effort. For more on this, see my article “How to Raise Your Influence in Less Than 5 Seconds.”

5. Decide to confront conflict courageously. There is perhaps nothing more damaging to our ability to relate than to allow unresolved conflict to fester. To feel a rupture in a relationship without repair is to foster stress, negative feelings, lost opportunities, and poor modeling for others. The cost of inaction – of allowing the rupture to fester – touches many, affecting the quality of your leadership and the lives of those around you. Want to fall in love with conflict so that you improve the quality of your relationships on a systematic basis? Read here.

I invite you to begin sharpening your emotional intelligence today so that you enjoy more influence, better decision-making, more productive and fulfilling relationships, and a healthier leadership future. How might having higher relational skills benefit you, your team, and your organization?

Next week, we will explore the second of three shifts you need to make: Vertical Development 2.0.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.