Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

building influence

When Personal Crisis Hits: 5 Tips to Manage Your Professional Reputation

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Life is wonderful!  Life is amazing. But sometimes, stuff happens. And when it does, our personal “bandwidth” – our capacity for handling life and work – is asked to stretch.

This is normal. After all, encountering crisis and disruption is part of life. We may suffer the death of a loved one or experience a divorce. We may be called upon to manage a life transition for an aging parent, or to deal with a teen in trouble. No one is immune. Managing this effectively is key to keeping you on track both personally and professionally.

You see, as others at work and in the community learn about your situation and sympathize, they also expect your performance and abilities will be compromised. They assume this, because they think it would certainly affect them in that way.

So, whether you are able to continue working at capacity, in their minds, others will tend to subtly discount your ability to lead and perform well. This can have dire consequences on current and future opportunities for you.

How do you avoid this? How do you care for yourself, the situation, and manage perception so that you maintain your professional reputation?

Here are 5 tips to manage your personal and professional life when crisis hits.

  1. Take care of you, first. If you don’t take care of yourself first, by getting enough sleep, eating well, drinking water, and continuing to exercise, your capacity to manage stress, think clearly, and make decisions will be affected. It will also show through fatigue – the way you carry yourself, the energy with which you talk and approach situations. So make sure you are practicing some radical self-care.
  2. Manage the crisis itself by getting a plan and proper support. Identify the outcome you want to solve the problem, then reverse-engineer into a plan of action. Then, intentionally identify your support system. How do you need and want to be supported? Do you need resources? Advice? A listening ear? Probably all three! Identify those people who can serve as support and reach out to them. Let them know what is happening, and that you would like to call on them for help as the need arises.
  3. Don’t over-share with others. Keep your processing and the bulk of your sharing with your support system. A minimum of information on a “need-to-know” basis is key. Any sharing beyond this with colleagues, clients, and community is inappropriate and potentially harmful to your professional reputation in the eyes of others. In other words, no unnecessary details, and no ongoing updates with blow-by-blow developments as the situation progresses. A simple, “Thanks for asking, we are happy to have things settled down, now,” is helpful for curious minds.
  4. Prioritize and trim your workload and outside activities. Time to get lean and mean. Take a morning to prioritize, triage, delegate, so that you identify those initiatives and activities that are critical and necessary, those that can be delegated, and those that can be put on hold. This will provide mental and emotional space to best support your performance – and others’ perception of it.
  5. Lead a personal PR campaign. Announce to the world that you are on track and running! Deliberately connect with key stakeholders in your organization and outside in the community and subtly form an alliance with them to reinforce your viability. Identify those persons of influence and schedule time with them to catch up. What new trends or developments are occurring in your community, industry, or global marketplace that might affect them? Talk about a new project or the update on an existing one that might pique their interest, and share how it will positively impact. This takes a bit of planning, but you will have formed an unwitting circle of professional support to combat any doubts as to your current abilities.

And a final word on managing your personal situation and your work performance:  Schedule periodic reviews into your calendar until the situation is resolved. How are you doing? What needs to shift? It’s important to avoid allowing a situation to become chronic. If crisis mode is your “new normal,” ask for help.

You Have a Great Vision and an Aggressive Plan: Why Are You Stuck?

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You are a seasoned professional who is intelligent and skilled. You have a world of opportunities ahead, and have set some high goals for greater success.

You’ve envisioned what you want success to look like, and you have drawn up a great action plan to get there (many of you have actually hired someone to help you with this!).

Yet, you find yourself stuck and unable to move forward. What’s more, you aren’t sure why. Here’s what we know:  When there is an internal conflict or fear that you have not yet confronted, you will not move forward easily.

And here are 5 possible reasons why:

1. Your vision doesn’t align with your values.

Surprising, but true. Many times, we don’t cross-reference our vision with our values. When this happens, and our values collide, the internal conflict that follows keeps us from moving forward. We may not even understand why – it just simply “doesn’t feel right.”

Coaching tip:  Find a list of personal values, and determine which top five you hold in highest regard for your life. Now review these as you look at your vision. Is there anything about the latter that does not align with one or more of your values? If so, what needs to shift or change in your vision to support you?

2. You just aren’t that into it.

When you created your vision and considered the change it would make in your life, how important was succeeding to you? Many times, we set goals because these are important to others in our intimate circle, and we want to please and keep the peace. This doesn’t work in the long run, and it doesn’t ignite passion for achievement, even in the short term.

Coaching tip:  Revisit your vision. How important is reaching this to you personally, on a scale of 1-5? If you respond with a number less than 4, odds are that you are not going to achieve your goals.

3. You are listening to too many voices.

Everyone has an opinion. When others hear about your work, some will be quick to share how strategy A never works – strategy B is always best. The next person will tell you the opposite. Every opinion will begin to sound right – and you can’t go down two paths at once. Result? A confused mind does nothing.

Coaching tip:  If your plan reflects sound strategies, then give those a chance. Work them for at least 90 days, then assess to see if they are working as they should.

4, The payoff is too great right where you are.

Let’s face it – change is uncomfortable. And if you are receiving some sort of intrinsic reward or emotional payoff for staying stuck, you are not going to move forward.

Coaching tip:  What’s comfortable about your discomfort? Are you on top of your responsibilities, and afraid of failing if you move forward? Are you getting emotional sympathy from others about your current situation? What payoff are you receiving for remaining right where you are?

5. You are afraid to succeed.

This one is challenging. It means you are afraid of losing something you currently have – a key relationship, a lifestyle, or even your identity.

Coaching tip:  Acknowledge your fear, and then ask yourself what you will lose by not moving forward. What will yield the greater return for you? Staying where you are – or moving toward goal?

What keeps you stuck? And what do you need to change in order to move forward?

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

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How Powerful is Your Network?

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During the recent recession, I served as volunteer coach and teacher for seasoned professionals who were seeking to get back into the workforce. Among other things, I taught networking skills, and was astounded to learn about the lack of understanding participants had regarding the benefits of networking. This fact was especially salient, since at the time, 80% of America’s hires were effectuated through a network, and not through the classic resume submission through formal channels.

Networks are simply relationships, and can be positive or negative; passive or powerful. As someone who loves to make things sizzle, I admit to enjoying expanding my own, to getting to know new people, and seeing how we can make bigger things happen together.

Here are 3 quick tips for strengthening your network that I hope are of value.

  1. Variety matters.

    Herminia Ibarra, INSEAD professor of organizational behavior, notes that there are three kinds of networks: operational, personal, and strategic. Operational networks are those relationships that allow you to get your present work done. Personal networks are those that you form for pleasure and socialization. And finally, strategic networks are those that help you advance in your career, influence others, and get the information and resources you need to move into your future (“Building Effective Networks,” http://leanin.org/education/building-effective-networks/).

Tip:  Make sure you know the difference in the three types of networks when seeing how your network can help you reach your goals. Your co-worker may sympathize with your plight to find a new job, but he may not have the influence or connections to introduce you to someone who can get you in front of decision-makers with job opportunities.

  1. Size matters.

    Small-but-mighty networks are great. But these have their limitations based on the collective influence quotient of the group. And let’s face it – we don’t want to wear our networks out. These are relationships with other human beings, and we want to nurture them. In order to maintain a network’s potency and reach, remember to consistently draw in new people who can add and receive value from the group. Each new person leverages many opportunities for you – and you, for them.

Tip:  With each new person you meet, ask yourself who, in your network, could help them or benefit from connecting. Make that connection for them – and make new friends in the process.

  1. Expectations matter.

    Can you pick up the phone and ask a favor of a person in your network? If not, you are in trouble. Time to give your network a facelift – or to change your own approach to networking. Adam Grant, in his book, Give and Take, talks about givers making up the top layer of all successful people. Do you consistently seek to bring value to your own network? How?

Tip:  Become an intentional giver with consistency. It’s rewarding to help others, and this will also give you the currency and confidence to call on your relationships when you find yourself in need. Who can you reach out to, today?

Building Your Influence: Trust Before Credibility

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Building Your Influence: Trust Before Credibility

“My presentations are powerful, and I think they are incredibly convincing…but I’m not getting the buy-in I need from the executive council, and I don’t feel I’m recognized as a part of it. In fact, yesterday, it was just ‘crickets’ when I shared an idea on something that would have saved us a great deal of money. What am I doing wrong?”

Jan was ready to up-level her leadership abilities and had hired me to help her develop more influence. Her talent was unquestionable – but she recognized that something was lacking. Sitting on the executive council – something she felt would help position her for greater leadership – had turned out to be a negative and frustrating experience.

“It’s like I’m invisible when it comes to contributing ideas,” she said. “I make sure I have all kinds of stats and evidence to support what I am going to say before I open my mouth. But I might as well be invisible. What gives?”

“Describe the executive council meeting to me, Jan, from the time you walked in.”

“Okay,” she answered. “Well, I got there early to set up my PowerPoint presentation. I like to make sure I come across as professional and ‘together.’ So I was ready and in my seat when the others started to file in. When it came my turn to present, I felt confident in my material and was poised and professional.  But at the end, when I expected a great response, I got absolutely nothing but a couple of nods, and the president quickly moved on to the next agenda item.”

“Jan, I am suspecting you aren’t building the trust with your council and colleagues to exert any influence with them. So, as highly credible as you are, you aren’t going to get anywhere without it.”

Building trust takes precedent over credibility. In other words, people are not going to listen to you – believe you – unless they first trust you. If you are a person of integrity like Jan, this can be a simpler fix than you think.

Judith Glaser, author, researcher and organizational anthropologist, outlines trust as the building block to successful communications and healthy relationships.  Even before the words we use, that first warm neural connection with others – reaching out, making eye contact, expressing interest in how they are – is key.

Without this step, those attending your presentations and meetings operate from the “fight or flight” part of the brain, and subconsciously ask themselves if they can trust you.

But by connecting warmly with others before you present, you help them leave that “fight or flight” part of the brain, and move to a higher state of trust so that they can receive you more easily and acknowledge your credibility.

I asked Jan to begin greeting each of the individual council members as the next meeting started to assemble, and to make sure she made eye contact, smiled, and asked them about plans for their weekend, or about their family. Her report back was encouraging.

“One of them actually asked me to lunch and wants to talk about my latest cost-saving proposal,” she said. “I’m thrilled! And I am starting to do this in my staff meetings – this could be the teambuilding piece I’m missing.”

How’s your trust quotient with others? If you are a person of integrity, and on upon whom others can rely, are you also making those important neural connections before you give feedback, present, or dive into business?

I’d love to hear about your experience, and how this might be making a difference for you.

Ref.  Glaser, Judith E.  Conversational Intelligence.” Bibliomotion, 2014.