Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

building influence

Do You Have an Absentee Leader on Your Team?

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Do You Have an Absentee Leader on Your Team?
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Absentee leadership is rarely discussed, but it is perhaps the most destructive of all poor leadership types. It can do more to compromise employee engagement, morale, and productivity than other faulty leadership styles.

Unfortunately, it is also the most difficult of the styles to detect, which means you may have one on your team right now.

How can you detect whether you have this element in the executive circle? And what can you do about it?

Also called an emotionally disengaged leader, an Absentee leads in title only. They are people who are perhaps promoted into management because they did great work in their previous position, and they enjoy the perks and rewards of their current elevated status. However, they do not put in the hard work of engaging with their team to provide direction and support. You might say that they deplete the organization’s value because they are taking from it, but not investing back into it.

This affects the teams and individuals in their area of responsibility in a much more insidious way because absentee leadership behaviors can cause confusion in roles, conflict between staff, and increased stress leading to work and health problems.

Symptoms that you have an Absentee on your team can include:

  1. End runs for answers.

Do you have employees from a specific area within the organization that continue to come to you for answers? Ask yourself why. Allowing or even supporting this disempowers their leader and crowds your calendar. If you have not encouraged this dynamic, it may be that these employees are not getting answers from the person who should be supporting them. Don’t fall into the trap of giving a quick and easy response to these queries; instead, make time to sit with the leader who should be supplying answers and share what you are noticing. The goal of this exercise is not to punish the employees, but to explore why they are not getting answers. Deep dive on this one.

  1. Increased conflict or interpersonal problems.

Do you have employees or an area within the organization that cyclically erupts? This is a reflection of unmanaged emotions and a lack of ability to negotiate relationships. If this is a trend, it is a reflection of someone allowing this to continue. I would call this an Absentee leader, since the leader is either aware of the situation but steps back from confronting, or they are unaware, which is worse. Again, this requires a conversation and some coaching around expectations. You’ll need to stick closely to the Absentee during a corrective period to monitor their progress. Absentees can disappear easily in the company crowd. They are generally nice people who don’t make noise, which allows them to hide behind other more evident company challenges.

  1. Team grumbling or low performance.

When conducting employee forums or interdepartmental meetings, do you notice that dissatisfaction is expressed from the same corners every time? Is there a team that is known for its compromised performance? A chronic poor attitude or behavior in either individuals or team is a clear sign that someone is not present for their team, providing coaching, corrective feedback, and upholding expectations. Again, your approach would be the same – to sit with your Absentee and outline what you are observing, how it is impacting others and the company, and to define clearly what you want to see. Monitor, monitor, monitor.

This topic is worth careful study if you want highest ROI from your executive team.

The impact of absentee leadership on job satisfaction outlasts the impact of both constructive and overtly destructive forms of leadership. This costs your company not only now, but in future, since best efforts to turn this around take time.

And at a time when your focus needs to be on leading the organization into the future, you can’t afford to compromise.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Is Your Leadership Team Out of Alignment?

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Is Your Leadership Team Out of Alignment?
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What’s happened to your leadership team? You have carefully chosen each member and empowered them to do great things. Yet, you aren’t getting the results you want.

Could it be that your team is out of alignment?

Telltale signs can include subpar performance, poor decision-making, executives at odds with each other, units working at cross purposes, and a rise in conflict.

How can you fix this?

Because if you don’t, your organization will reflect this at every level. Productivity, revenues, reputation – the list goes on.

First, understand that you must look at two kinds of alignment: strategic and cultural.

Strategic Alignment

Strategic alignment is what is necessary for a team to operate well together in their goals and actions so that the organization’s agreed purpose and vision are met. I can tell if a leadership team is out of strategic alignment by having each member list out their internal and external initiatives and comparing these with the organizational vision and goals. If the team member’s initiatives don’t support the larger vision and goals, this means it is time to review and redirect. If this seems like your team’s challenge, it is an opportunity for teambuilding through conducting some actionable strategic realignment sessions.

Cultural Alignment

Cultural alignment is met through team members’ commitment to shared attitudes, behaviors, and actions so that the organization’s values and principles are reinforced. When I work with leadership teams and detect unspoken conversations, silos, turf wars, and a hesitancy to make tough decisions in order to move forward, I know it’s time to revisit their mission, values, and team charter (their team values “in action,” or “group norms”). Most leadership teams have not taken the time to define their team charter so that they can enjoy a dynamic, shared culture. When I work with them to develop this, the positive cultural outcomes ripple throughout the entire organization.

Where do you detect that your leadership team may be out of alignment?

The rest of your enterprise is watching and will do likewise.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Building Your Emotional Intelligence with the Follow-up Question

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Building Your Emotional Intelligence with the Follow-up Question
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Like any other key decision-maker, your responsibilities require that you make hundreds of decisions daily. This means you have developed a quick and effective way of getting to the bottom of things (for a quick review on how to make better decisions, read “When Stakes Are High: How to Make Better Decisions”).

There are two reasons, however, that we ask questions – learning (information exchange) and liking (impression management). And overlooking the follow-up question may mean we miss capitalizing on both – and thus lose out on some important emotional intelligence skill-building.

What does emotional intelligence have to do with the follow-up question? And how do you harness the power of this?

Many important tenets of emotional intelligence have to do with relationship management – both with people and with the organization. Some examples of these skills are: empathy, perspective taking, catalyzing change, building bonds and trust, and creating and strengthening team.

If you make time to ask follow-up questions in your conversations and discussions, you strengthen these skills:

1. You gather additional information, fostering your ability to “see” a bigger picture, and the opportunity to widen the scope of your thinking through diverse perspectives; and

2. You demonstrate a willingness to listen to the other person in the conversation, showing active interest in connecting, with the intent to foster open dialogue and to consider new perspectives.

So, what is a powerful follow-up question?

First, the term follow-up is just what it implies – it’s a question that comes after another question.

Second, there are follow-up questions – and follow-up questions. By this, I mean that some are simply a means to an end, and others are door-openers. And it’s the door-openers that are powerful.

What are the traits of powerful follow-up questions?

1. Open-ended. Make sure your question is not a disguised opinion or judgment. For example, if your question starts out with the phrase, “Don’t you think that..,” please refrain. Otherwise, you will have cut off creative conversation and the opportunity to appreciate and acknowledge the perspectives of others.

2. Begin with the word “what” or “how,” rather than “why.” The word “why” is associated with giving an answer to defend one’s position (e.g., “Why did you do that?” “Why did this happen?”). Instead, begin with something like, “Tell me more,” “What’s behind that?” or “How might that work?” This supports open dialogue.

3. Be genuine with the intent to listen and learn. Don’t ask questions unless you are ready to do so – people can spot inauthenticity a mile away, and your efforts will backfire. Part of vibrant leadership is being willing to stretch and grow.

The next time you are brainstorming with others, take the time to ask that second “follow-up” question at various points of your discussion. You’ll reap the benefits of more information, greater participation by others, and connections at a deeper level that foster strong relationships and team.

(Gratitude to Alison Wood Brooks and Leslie K. John for the inspiration of their article, “The Surprising Power of Questions,” Harvard Business Review, May-June 2018 issue.)

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Five Steps to Charter Team Values

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Five Steps to Charter Team Values
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Are you and your colleagues living up to your team’s core values?

Core values serve as a GPS to shape culture, drive better decisions, and sharpen best behaviors and attitudes.

Sadly, most don’t understand why they need core values at the team level, nor how to use these to move from average to high performance.

How do team core values differ from organizational core values? And how do you make your team’s values come alive?

I work primarily with leaders and their executive teams who are ready to either merge, realign, or grow. They know they need to improve the way they work together in order to tackle new vistas.

Part of the work I do is help the team create its own identity, establish a safe psychological space in which to work and play, and recognize its personal team power. These three factors are what go into creating a highly emotionally-intelligent team – one which outperforms others.

Without getting into the weeds in this article, part of the work we do together to accomplish this involves creating a team charter – a set of operating rules that the team creates together, and which are based on its core values. In other words, we define the attitudes, behaviors, and ways of doing that reflect the team’s values.

For example, if a team’s core values include honesty, the charter might define what honest conversation looks like, what honesty looks like in the face of conflict, etc.

Chartering your team’s core values in this way makes them come alive. It is powerful and serves as the foundation of your team culture.

What is important to remember as you develop active core values?

Here are five steps to keep in mind.

  1. Develop your values with full team participation.

Every person on the team needs to be involved in the process of defining your values. This creates buy-in and ownership. Do you have someone who is reticent to participate or to speak up? Make sure you include them and let them know their weigh-in is important.

  1. Hold a discussion with your team on what these values mean for you.

It is not enough to pick a word to represent each value – you collectively need to come up with a definition that reflects what you mean by that word choice. Craft together two or three sentences that expand on the value’s meaning until you feel it reflects clear definition to the team.

  1. Identify attitudes and behaviors that support these values.

Take some time to talk about how you should relate to each other (and other teams) in light of your values. If one of your values is integrity, what kinds of attitudes and behaviors reflect this? What needs to change in order for you to fully embody each value?

  1. Assess your systems, processes, and protocols to ensure these support your values.

Do a review of these to see if they support your values. What changes need to take place in order to have these align with your values? This is truly systematizing a team culture.

  1. Accountability as a way to fully integrate your values.

How will you hold yourself and others accountable for the way you embody your charter? I suggest you define this, and then do a spot check-in at least once monthly. Be candid in rating the team – and if you are courageous, ask an external stakeholder to review your values, their definitions, and to share with you any gaps or growth opportunities they see in the way your team lives these.

Are you and your colleagues living up to your team values? Where do you need to start?

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Why We Don’t Have That Critical Conversation

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Why We Don’t Have That Critical Conversation
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When was the last time that you looked forward to having a difficult conversation?

Most of us run from confrontation. Consequently, we carry the weight from unresolved conflict and sub-par relationships.

What keeps us from having more emotional courage to confront?

There are 3 top reasons why:

1. You don’t feel safe.

You may feel that the difficult conversation you need to have will place you in a vulnerable position. For example, the person you may need to confront is your boss.

If that person has a history of questioning the motives of the message-bearer and judging them, rather than to focus on the issue and solve it proactively, this will feel unsafe. You will worry about negative repercussions such as branding you, and this will cause you to hesitate clearing the air.

If this is your situation, you will want to weigh the pros and cons of addressing the issue to come to some sort of resolve. If you do not, you will carry the burden of stress and discomfort from an unresolved situation or relationship, which hurts not only you, but all others involved and those around you.

2. You fear loss.

You may feel that by confronting, you will risk being rejected or unloved. If you identify with this, you may have an element of “people pleaser” in you, which requires some work.

People-pleasing weakens the effectiveness of leadership and threatens the integrity of your decision-making.

A first step in realigning this is to change the expectations you hold for yourself. Fact: You cannot please everyone – but you can certainly earn and hold their respect.

As you consider having a difficult conversation, ask yourself what you fear happening most. More likely than not, you will recognize that your base fear is not rational. The chances are slim that the whole world will turn their back on your leadership if you make an unpopular decision.

Ask yourself what positive things you can gain by having the conversation, and identify how this will positively affect your work, life, and others affected by the current negative state – a great start to lifting up emotional courage.

3. You aren’t comfortable with negative emotions.

Human beings don’t like discomfort, and most of us have not been taught the value of negative emotions.

They therefore make us mentally and physically uncomfortable and we seek to avoid them. Instead of this, consider managing them.

Negative emotions are really key indicators that invite you to pay more attention to the situations that have created them. Use these smart and helpful alerts to decipher what about the situation or problem is upsetting. This will help you to widen your lens as you consider solutions.

Where, within these three areas, do you need to strengthen your emotional courage so that you can become more effective in your leadership?

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.