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Increasing Your Influence

How to Develop a Culture of Gratitude in the Workplace

November 27, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

How to Develop a Culture of Gratitude in the Workplace
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Could your workplace benefit from greater morale and engagement?

The answer may be simply to develop a workplace culture of gratitude. This may seem odd to many, since gratitude has long been considered a “soft” practice, but the results are dynamic.

In fact, developing a culture of gratitude helps elevate wellness, engagement, productivity and employee retention. And these things are measurable.

Moreover, gratitude has been called the gateway to developing greater empathy and compassion, which are cornerstones of group emotional intelligence on high-performing teams.

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful.

But it differs from appreciation.

Whereas appreciation is thankfulness for the goodness in our lives, gratitude moves beyond this. It attributes these positive things to forces outside ourselves. For example, noting an accomplishment at work will include recognizing the efforts and contributions of others in making this a success.

Moreover, if gratitude is to become a culture embraced by the organization, it must be systematized so that it is replicable. Where do we begin?

Gratitude starts at the top.

We must start at the top, agreeing at the executive team level to identify and coordinate the practice of gratitude. Then, modeling this, we must also teach them to reports, replicating this throughout so that it cascades throughout the entire workforce.

Where do you begin?

  1. Define key approaches your organization can take to express gratitude.

Begin with “thank you.” How does your organization address recognition? It may have yearly events where people are recognized for years of service, outstanding performance, and other categories.

But what can expressing gratitude in the workplace look like on a more regular basis? Where and how can you say thank you more often? This may take the form of virtual or physical “walls” that provide shout-outs. It may be in the form of a handwritten note or other special gesture. Decide how gratitude looks at the individual, team, and organizational levels.

  1. Assess for gaps and growth opportunities at the individual, team, and organizational levels.

As you design your organizational gratitude practice, make sure you examine how these thread through from the individual to team, and from team to organization, so that the practice cascades throughout. For example, does your organization preach work-life balance, but quietly expect that people will work 80 hours weekly? This requires not only conversations but reexamining the organizational model to see how to restructure and grow the resources needed for its employees to enjoy balance.

  1. Identify the behaviors that support these approaches.

Many times, change management practices fail only because the organization has defined categories of improvement, but it has not identified the supporting behaviors that support each category.

For example, if a category within your defined gratitude practice is “recognize a job well done,” what are the behaviors associated with this? How will we know this recognition is occurring?

An example might be, “timely acknowledgment through personal call or thank you note.” Be sure to address the whole person as you define behaviors to be recognized. Focusing solely on top performers omits all those supporting the process who contribute greatness through character, such as going the extra mile, exhibiting great compassion, and other traits. And these are the heart of the organization – the very stuff that keeps it going.

  1. Model these behaviors to begin establishing the culture.

As chief executive, how are you expressing gratitude for others in the workplace? Facets of your expression should include being sincere, specific, and humble. As an insincere acknowledgment erodes trust, so does a sincere expression build it.

Beyond this, a simple “thank you” is not enough without saying why you are thankful. Give specifics as to how someone else’s behaviors or actions resulted in a positive outcome or tenor. And third, be humble and keep this about the other person. It is always disappointing to hear of an acknowledgment that turns a message into something that is all about you or the project itself. Make sure you give ample light and credit to the person you are recognizing.

  1. Reward these behaviors in others as you recognize them in order to reinforce the culture.

How can you reinforce these behaviors in others? What does acknowledgment of these look like? And how can you hold your managers accountable for supporting this? Do you need to build this into expectations? And what does that look like?

Gratitude, when practiced with a sincere heart, can turn around an ailing culture. Be sure to address it. And be sure that it starts with you.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Five Hidden Factors Resulting in Meeting Stalemates

November 13, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Five Hidden Factors Resulting in Meeting Stalemates
Image Credit: Shutterstock

You’ve reached an impasse in the meeting. Emotions are high.

It’s another stalemate, and this is becoming habit on your team.

Why does this happen? And how do you break through this and reach consensus?

Meeting shutdowns happen for a variety of reasons. And all the tips in the world to facilitate meetings will not work unless you move past the five most common hidden roadblocks that impel people to leave the conversation.

When a meeting stalemates, it is often because team members leave the “window of tolerance,” a term coined by Dan Siegel in his book Mindsight. The window of tolerance is the zone in which people operate optimally, functioning, managing, and thriving. It is the space in which we can do our best critical thinking, exchanging, and considering ideas because when we are in this zone, we are able to use our executive brain – the part of the brain where functions such as creativity, reasoning, critical thinking, and more are centered.

When people leave the window of tolerance, they move to one of two states.

  1. Hyper-arousal

Here, a person will want to fight or flee. They may feel anxious or angry. Emotions run high, and any thinking is based on survival and safety.

  1. Hypo-arousal

Here, a person will shut down, and feel spacey or numb. The body might want to freeze or shut down, and it is difficult to think at all.

How does this work in meetings?

Team members may become heated and even irrational in their attempt to drive home opinions or resist those presented by others. Other team members can shut down and leave the conversation entirely.

When this happens, meeting effectiveness comes to a halt. Most often, the group will decide they need to meet at a later time to revisit the topic. Important decisions are placed on hold. Executives and areas of responsibility are held back. The organization is in limbo.

How do you handle this?

Here are five of the most common inhibitors and some ideas to help the team break through to move forward.

  1. A lack of clarity about the idea or concept presented.

Is the idea or concept being stated clear to others? Has the presenter explained this in a way that everyone understands? If you have a person who cannot state ideas succinctly, this is enough to cause others to discount their message. If you have someone on the team who takes too much space in explaining concepts, here is a “cheat sheet” to help them frame their message in a way that is more concise and convincing.

  1. A lack of understanding as to the business impact or benefits to the organization.

Do people understand how the topic at hand impacts the business? When exploring ideas to support decisions, it is important to connect the dots. How will the idea being presented benefit and impact the organization? What negative realities will need to be dealt with if the overall concept is of value? Asking these questions can help your team think beyond the immediate.

  1. Bias around the message bearer.

It is important for team members to check in on this. We all carry bias. The question is, how do we choose to handle it? Notice if you discount messages coming from any particular team member due to your personal bias about them. How can you give space and compassion to that person and consider the idea they are presenting? This is perhaps the toughest of the five roadblocks, and yet, the most beneficial when we begin to adopt a stance reflecting more empathy and compassion.

  1. Conflict with a personal agenda or conviction.

If a concept is presented that moves counter to the way your own area of responsibility operates, it is enough to cause internal conflict and an aversion to remain open to possibility. Most of us are inclined to respond with statements such as, “Well, that will never work because…” or “We just don’t do things that way…”

Consider replacing these kinds of statements with those such as, “How would that work? What might the benefits be?” This helps you and others stay in the conversation and play with possibilities that could be game changers for your business and the impact it has on the world.

  1. A lack of willingness to embrace change

Change is really tough, and it is not fun. Why? We are creatures of habit and love our comfort zones. Yet, change is when exciting things can happen, and we can take advantage of the opportunity to grow. Check yourself when you feel resistance to change. Recognize where you are in the change cycle on the particular issue being addressed. Then ask yourself what possible benefit you and the organization might enjoy if the change takes place. Awareness around your own resistance and how to manage it if you see benefit are empowering.

Only after these roadblocks have been addressed can you actually move forward to play well as a team and make good decisions together. I challenge you to discuss these factors with your team to begin a new way of approaching and implementing your decision-making together.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Recharge: Unplugging from Work the Right Way

October 2, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Recharge: Unplugging from Work the Right Way
Image Credit: Shutterstock

How often do you recharge your phone? My guess is that you recharge it intentionally on a regular basis so that it operates well for you at all times.

When was the last time you recharged yourself as instrument? Staying away from the office on weekends and that occasional vacation may not be restoring your ability to perform.

If you feel like you are slogging through mud, if you notice it seems to take you longer and longer to make decisions or to get the work done, this is a signal that you are not recharging effectively.

Time to switch it up.

A simple pause is not a recharge.

Just as an athlete’s body needs recovery time in between training sessions, your brain needs recovery time from performance to recharge. If it doesn’t receive this and you need to perform, you will begin to notice that your thinking isn’t as sharp as it has been in the past. Your performance-to-results-time is getting longer. It may feel like you are pushing a boulder uphill without relief to get the work done. As a result, your stress levels rise, fueling distraction and fatigue. What’s happening? You have set up a mode of operating that systematically depletes the mental and physical energy you need to accomplish work.

How do you redirect this path from impending burnout to recharge?

First, it’s important to recognize that the more you perform, the more you need to devote time to recovery. Second, what you do with that time to recover counts.

Calendar time to recharge and unplug.

Do you make time to recover? Evenings and weekends are places to start. But let’s look at how you are spending your time during those pauses. You are not recharging if you are doing any of the following at those times:

  • Scheduling or holding calls or meetings
  • Answering or even just checking work emails or work-related texts
  • Thinking about projects and work situations
  • Experiencing poor sleep and inadequate rest due to concern about an aspect of work

If any of the above situations strike home, it’s time to take some steps.

Break up with work on a regular basis.

1. Create boundaries with technology.

Shut your phone off and put the computer away. Consider carrying a dedicated work phone during workdays and leaving it in the office at night. Do these suggestions make you nervous? This may indicate that you suffer from a technology addiction or unhealthy expectations. Identify what concerns you about closing your virtual doors for the evening so that you can address this.

2. Remind yourself that you need your sleep.

Put your phone on sleep mode before you go to bed or put it in another room, so you aren’t disturbed by alerts and brightening lights. This keeps your sleep uninterrupted and free of the impulse to check right away to see if you should take care of something (most likely work!).

3. Empty your mind of work concerns.

Get a work journal. If you begin to think about work, either getting a bright idea or worrying you might forget something, write it down in your work journal. Put your journal somewhere such as in your briefcase, backpack, other where you will feel confident you won’t forget to take it with you when you return to work.

4. Reconcile that work will never be “done.”

Many live with the false belief that “once this project is complete, my workload will slow down or even out.”

Is that really true?

If you reflect back, you’ll realize this thinking is faulty. If you identify with this line of thought, considering reviewing the time you estimate for various tasks and projects, and how you gauge that you are on time as you work to complete deadlines.

Do some time blocking for these various initiatives to make sure you reserve space for work. You may find that you are optimistic, and that you haven’t allowed for unexpected interruptions and breaks. Identify what keeps you from opening up enough space for your work and readjust.

5. Integrate power-boost breaks on workdays.

Once you have preserved your evenings and weekends from work, examine your workdays for meaningful recharge. It’s tough to focus the entire day without pauses that refresh. And caffeine is not the answer.

Where in a typical workday can you break a few times for a 5-minute “brain break”? During these breaks, get up and move about. Connect with a coworker (on a non-work item such as how they spent their weekend). Meditate at your desk. Do something that allows your brain recovery time.

Infuse meaning into non-work time.

Once you have placed boundaries around non-work life, make this time count.

1. Reconnect well with family and friends.

Connecting with others nourishes your life through relationship. Be choosy about the people with whom you spend your time and make it count. Are you enjoying conversations and creating experiences together? Or are you sitting side by side while binge-watching shows without any mutual exchange?

2. Include fun and laughter.

Take stock of whether fun and laughter are well-embedded in your relationships, pastimes, and general philosophy. Intentionally lifting these up in your life makes a big difference in the quality of your exchanges and your outlook.

3. Revisit your larger purpose.

Take regular time to reflect on what you do and why you do it. How does what you do impact the larger picture of not only the business, but of life? Are you making the impact to which you aspire? Does this align with your life vision?

If you can’t answer these questions, it’s time to seek clarity. Your larger purpose + aligned and meaningful work = your legacy. Make yours count.

Recovery time should be intentional and meaningful. More than just a simple battery recharge, this should be a time when you focus on life priorities and meaning.

I often ask my clients what they want to celebrate at the end of their lives. Never has one said that he wants to leave a clean desk behind, no matter what the cost to his relationships, health, and life.

Rather, clients talk about making sure their footprint has been one of forging wonderful relationships, having positive influence on the lives of others, and helping to make the world a better place. If you identify with something along these lines, it’s time to unplug, recharge, and refocus how you approach your work to invite the space in which you can do this.

Starting now.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
– Anne Lamott


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

When Your Executive Drops the Ball

September 18, 2019 By Patti Cotton 1 Comment

When Your Executive Drops the Ball
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Every leader has encountered a situation where one of his executive team members has messed up. It happens.

The problem is, in the heat of the moment, if the blooper is big, we might tend to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

Statements such as “I can’t believe you did that!” or “What were you thinking?” can really shut down any further dialogue. They can also fuel negative emotions and shame. These don’t help the situation.

What can you do to avoid creating more problems?

How can you respond in a supportive and proactive way so that the two of you can work from mess to solution?

Here are three questions that make this simpler than you think, helping you to turn a “bungle” into a positive coaching opportunity.

1. Focus on desired outcomes.

Pause. Breathe. Then, ask yourself, “What outcome do we need to achieve here?” This will help quell your emotions and keep dialogue productive.

2. Focus on the future.

Ask your executive, “What do we need to do from here?” This allows the executive to see that you are working as a team. At the same time, you are encouraging your executive’s critical thinking skills and problem-solving abilities.

3. Focus on support.

Follow with the question, “How can I help?” Reinforce your show of support and your confidence in the executive’s ability to move forward.

The way you handle crisis can be alienating or team-strengthening. You’ll also be modeling this for others, fostering trust and support for growth in your organization.

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Three Lifestyle Habits to Keep Your Leadership Sharp

September 4, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Three Lifestyle Habits to Keep Your Leadership Sharp
Image Credit: Shutterstock

As a leader, how do you stay sharp and energized?

In studying great leaders, three habits seem to support this, with some of these leaders having taken it to a science.

What are these three habits, and how can you capitalize on the experience of the greats?

  1. Reading to Nourish Your Leadership Lens

Great leaders read daily. Bill Gates reads about 50 books yearly. He told Time magazine that reading is essential for success. Elon Musk shares that reading is what taught him how to build rockets. Warren Buffett, who reads about 500 pages daily, says, “That’s how knowledge works. It builds up like compound interest.”

I agree. Whatever you feed your brain is what it uses to operate. This is true for the food you eat and the information you absorb. If you are not taking the time to ingest new information to keep learning and to help you make best decisions, you are not growing. Stagnant leadership is dying leadership.

Here are tips to begin your reading habit.

    • Research what some of the great leaders are reading. Then do likewise. You can expand from there.
    • Set a timer. This is a habit to feed your brain, just like exercise is a habit to keep your body in shape. Begin with 30 minutes and set a timer so that you can focus on what you are reading.
    • Read three chapters before you decide whether you will finish the book. Sometimes you will begin a book that is just not inspiring. When this happens, give it three chapters just to make sure, and then set it aside for another if the selection is stale.
  1. Rituals to Stay Grounded in Turbulent Times

Rituals are as old as mankind. There are many kinds of rituals, such as those that increase confidence or ease grieving. There are those that signify an end or beginning to a life chapter. You and I may have personal rituals including actions such as wearing lucky socks before a big event. Rituals are cultural markers that involve activity tied to some sort of meaning. The wonderful thing about these is that they can also provide grounding and a sense of control.

Arianna Huffington is one leader who firmly believes in ritual. In fact, under her direction, the Huffington Post offers regular yoga and meditation classes, as well as nap rooms, to its employees. Building in one of these activities on a regular basis serves to bring balance and well-being to those who participate. Richard Branson claims he does his best thinking when he adds the ritual of movement, such as taking a walk.

Here are some ideas for you as you think about establishing your own rituals.

    • Decide how you would like to celebrate. Is it important to you to celebrate accomplishments? Important dates? Identify what is meaningful to you and then develop a ritual to mark the event.
    • Identify how you will center yourself. Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction (MBSR) is a wonderful way to calm anxiety or quiet the world. Developed by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn in the 1970s at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, MBSR was originally intended for people suffering from anxiety, depression, and pain. It has proven incredibly successful, and today, is also taught in almost every community as a way to alleviate stress and develop mindfulness.
    • Practice sharing a meaningful ritual with others so that it becomes part of your company or family culture. Sharing brings a sense of belonging and connection which is powerful and sorely needed in today’s world.
  1. Replenishing the Leadership Engine

Rest is key for rejuvenation and to re-energize. Just as your car needs energy to operate, so do you. Are you truly getting the quality and amount of sleep you need? Sleep deprivation interferes directly with focus and executive reasoning. This means your performance – and that of your business, in turn – is at stake.

McKinsey conducted a study of 196 business leaders and discovered that two-thirds were dissatisfied with the quantity of sleep they got, and 55% were not happy with the quality of their sleep. Yet, the compelling evidence shows that a lack of sleep on the part of a leader directly impacts organizational performance. What can you do about this?

Here are some tips to get you started on the road to better sleep habits.

    • Target the optimal seven to nine hours of sleep per night. If you have claimed in the past that you “only need six hours” or whatever your number is, you need to let that idea go. Experts show that anything less than seven hours is simply not enough, and you are systematically weakening your brain and body’s abilities to function over time.
    • Keep your bedroom cool and the lights off. Any compromise to darkness will compromise a sound sleep. This includes removing your cell phone from the bedroom. The stress and stimulation it represents, in addition to the blue light it gives off when alerts come through, is enough to interfere with your ability to relax and stay asleep.
    • We have all heard that best sleep hours occur before midnight, so one should go to bed early. Yet many of us may be nocturnal or find this impractical. Decide the block of time that is right for you, and then allot enough time to meet your sleep quota.

Staying sharp means discipline. And discipline is what we see the best leaders reflect as they make change around the world. Taking the time to develop this will mean the difference between good and great. As you review the three lifestyle habits of best leaders above, where will you start?

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

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