Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

Patti Cotton

Five Tips for Taking Control of a Hijacked Meeting

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Taking Back Control of a Hijacked Meeting

You have called the meeting to order, and you have much to review with your staff. You’ve promised to adjourn at the top of the hour, so you dive in at a fast clip.

As you introduce the first topic, one of the meeting participants interrupts you in mid-sentence, and dives into active monologue about an unrelated subject. Someone else chimes in about her remarks, and others begin to enter in.

How do you take back control?

Here are five tips for establishing control, and for taking it back when disruption occurs.

  1. First, taking back control actually begins before the meeting starts. Craft a carefully planned agenda to set parameters. Pass out copies of the agenda at the beginning of the meeting.
  2. Establish your meeting leadership from the start. Call the meeting to order on time, and announce that since the time allotted for the meeting is limited, you will be sticking closely to the agenda. Share that you will take questions at the end, and if the ensuing discussions during Q&A become too lengthy.
  3. Nip subtle disruption in the bud. Do you have a distracted participant who is texting or otherwise multi-tasking? Is someone quietly holding his own conversation in the back? Pause immediately when you recognize this, to state that you need everyone’s participation, and ask people to put their cell phones in “meeting mode”, and to plan to catch up with colleagues on other issues at break time. Be sure your voice tone and body language convey your confidence, warmth, and engagement. Eye contact is important here – people cannot remain anonymous when their eyes meet yours, and it can draw people’s focus subtly back into the meeting.
  4. Contain dangerous meeting personalities. Know the personalities of your meeting attendees, and recognize those who crave the spotlight. These dangerous meeting personalities are usually the hijackers that will follow their own agenda, regardless of yours. Have a task in the meeting such as taking notes, or assign them with a high-profile role, so that they are actively involved – and contained – through focused attention to their charge.
  5. Request order quickly and boldly when things are clearly out of control. You’ve stopped talking, your eyes are fixed on the hijacker, and you are doing a “stare-down,” waiting for her to get the hint. She doesn’t, and keeps her monologue going. Call her by name calmly and repeatedly until she pauses, and ask her to please save her comments for the “bin list” – that list of topics that arise during the meeting, and which are not part of the agenda. Share that in the interest of making sure you get everyone out on time, you can meet with her post-meeting to discuss her issue. Also consider addressing items from your bin list regularly when you have a shorter meeting.

And a bonus tip: Just because you are leading the meeting doesn’t mean you are allowed to hijack airtime. You will need meeting participation by all involved. So, as you prepare your meeting agenda, also identify 1-3 talking points for each item. Shorten these to pithy sound bytes, making them impactful and effective to keep focus and attention.

When You Need More Focus

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Focus

A 5-Point Checklist for the Executive’s Brain

One of the requests I often get from clients is to help them gain more mental clarity. They complain of suffering from poor or cloudy decision-making, or an inability to move forward with projects. When they come to me, they may be worried that they are losing acuity, and have often already invested in various kinds of brain games, or rearranged their schedules to focus on bigger projects at certain times of day – but these haven’t worked for them.

If you are noticing you need more focus, or that you are finding it difficult to concentrate, it’s likely you are experiencing an imbalance somewhere in your work or life. I am not talking about work-life balance (that’s another topic!), but about a habit or approach that doesn’t support the brain’s larger operating system.

Now, I’m a proponent of working smarter and not harder, and like many of you, happen to love those brain games and methods of project management. But before you go out and invest large sums of money on programs, I suggest you review the short five-point checklist below, to see if you are missing anything foundational to supporting better mental clarity.

Just one of these five points, if overlooked, can foil focus in the most experienced and talented professionals.

 

  1. Get a physical checkup!

Let’s just get the obvious out of the way here. Your body is designed to work for you – and it will also work against you if something is out of kilter. If you inform your physician that you find it difficult to concentrate, she will look for high blood pressure, an absence of B-12, review your list of medications, and check for other physical imbalances that can lead to a lack of focus. She will also most likely talk with you about your health habits, such as eating the right (or wrong!) foods, getting enough sleep and exercise, and if there are any toxins in your home or external environment that might cause a loss of focus.

Coaching tip:  I’ve heard my colleague J.J. Virgin, foremost nutrition and fitness expert, talk about the terrors of simple carbohydrates. Remember that one fall-out of embracing this kind of diet is that it can result in clouding your focus. Check your labels, all you granola bar aficionados!

 

  1. Look for hidden energy drains.

What is causing your stress levels to rise at this point? Is there an unresolved conflict or unspoken conversation that is eating away at your mental energy? Or do you carry around mental “to do” or grocery lists, instead of writing down the items on paper? Both of these situations will take up brain space and diminish your focus. Stop using the brain as a storage tool, and allow it to be the processing tool it was designed to be.

Coaching tip:  Make a paper list of those things causing you stress or that you need to remember. But, hold on – we aren’t done, yet. Now, write down, by each item, the next step you need to take in order to resolve the question or problem. This last step helps you to see the way through problems to solving them, and can even help lower stress levels immediately.

 

  1. Give your brain a regular break.

There are physical, emotional, and mental reasons why your brain can only focus for a set amount of time before it fatigues, and this time can vary with circumstances. Suffice it to say that your brain needs regular breaks to stay energized and focused. A good rule of thumb is to break away from whatever you are working on each hour of your working day.

Coaching tip:  Set your alarm to go off every hour during your work hours. Get up each time, stretch, walk down the hall. If you can’t get away from your office, turn on some soft music, and take a look out on the horizon to give your eyes and brain something else on which to focus.

 

  1. Your brain craves water and oxygen to work at its best.

A tired brain can indicate that it needs water or more oxygen. When your water intake is inadequate, your brain cells become dehydrated. This results in synapses between cells not functioning as they should. Your brain needs oxygen, and breathing regularly doesn’t always do it. Oxygenate with some gentle exercise to get the blood flowing.

Coaching tip:  Save time!  Take a break, hydrate, and oxygenate – all at once. When you take your brain break (step 3, above), get a glass or bottle of water to drink as you walk down the hall. Upon returning to your office, and before sitting, try doing some modified squats or “in place” rowing, for 1-2 minutes. You’ve just given your brain a powerful boost!

 

  1. Develop the mental flossing habit.

Your brain never stops processing, and accumulates thought remnants and bits of dreams that float around in your head until you clear it. This “dross” can keep you from your greatest clarity.

Coaching tip:  Upon rising, free-flow journal for about five minutes to get rid of the bits and pieces of thoughts your brain has stored overnight. Let the pen take you where it wants to go, and write down what comes to mind – don’t force thinking. My clients report that this one morning habit changes their whole day, giving more clarity, focus, and productivity.

 

And a bonus coaching tip:

Stop trying to multi-task (which is really just jumping back and forth between various projects). This habit fragments the brain’s ability to focus and to get things done most effectively. If you want to enjoy greater mental clarity and heighten your productivity, pay attention to each item on your project/activity list one at a time. Decide on the next step for it, then schedule or delegate that step. Pick up the next folder and do the same. If interrupted during this process, care for the interruption, then come back to the same folder you had in your hand prior. This one shift in work habit has been studied, and is reported to have saved executives many hours weekly!

How Powerful is Your Network?

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Networking

During the recent recession, I served as volunteer coach and teacher for seasoned professionals who were seeking to get back into the workforce. Among other things, I taught networking skills, and was astounded to learn about the lack of understanding participants had regarding the benefits of networking. This fact was especially salient, since at the time, 80% of America’s hires were effectuated through a network, and not through the classic resume submission through formal channels.

Networks are simply relationships, and can be positive or negative; passive or powerful. As someone who loves to make things sizzle, I admit to enjoying expanding my own, to getting to know new people, and seeing how we can make bigger things happen together.

Here are 3 quick tips for strengthening your network that I hope are of value.

  1. Variety matters.

    Herminia Ibarra, INSEAD professor of organizational behavior, notes that there are three kinds of networks: operational, personal, and strategic. Operational networks are those relationships that allow you to get your present work done. Personal networks are those that you form for pleasure and socialization. And finally, strategic networks are those that help you advance in your career, influence others, and get the information and resources you need to move into your future (“Building Effective Networks,” http://leanin.org/education/building-effective-networks/).

Tip:  Make sure you know the difference in the three types of networks when seeing how your network can help you reach your goals. Your co-worker may sympathize with your plight to find a new job, but he may not have the influence or connections to introduce you to someone who can get you in front of decision-makers with job opportunities.

  1. Size matters.

    Small-but-mighty networks are great. But these have their limitations based on the collective influence quotient of the group. And let’s face it – we don’t want to wear our networks out. These are relationships with other human beings, and we want to nurture them. In order to maintain a network’s potency and reach, remember to consistently draw in new people who can add and receive value from the group. Each new person leverages many opportunities for you – and you, for them.

Tip:  With each new person you meet, ask yourself who, in your network, could help them or benefit from connecting. Make that connection for them – and make new friends in the process.

  1. Expectations matter.

    Can you pick up the phone and ask a favor of a person in your network? If not, you are in trouble. Time to give your network a facelift – or to change your own approach to networking. Adam Grant, in his book, Give and Take, talks about givers making up the top layer of all successful people. Do you consistently seek to bring value to your own network? How?

Tip:  Become an intentional giver with consistency. It’s rewarding to help others, and this will also give you the currency and confidence to call on your relationships when you find yourself in need. Who can you reach out to, today?

When Your Star Employee Asks for a Raise

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When Your Star Employee Asks for a Raise

 

Keeping Spirits High When You Have to Say No

You have an excellent employee, Kathy, who is asking for a raise. How do you keep her motivated when you can’t give her what she is asking for?

You want to honor her request. Kathy is an excellent performer and someone you want to mentor for greater leadership. However, you’ve also just reviewed the budget and you know immediately that although she deserves a raise, the cash flow isn’t there to support it.

Be candid about the budget constraints, and tell her you still want to explore other options available right now, in order to recognize and reward her professional contribution.

Here are three tips to help you get creative in showing your support and vote of confidence:

  1. Think outside the box. Offer Kathy something else of value. You happen to know that Kathy values free time to spend with her family. What about additional paid time off every year, or an option to work from home one day weekly? Both of these are great benefits.
  2. Revisit her long-range goals and identify some short-term opportunities to help further these. Has she set her sights on a promotion or different role? You may be able to help more than you have thought. Identify a special project she can take on, or a taskforce in which she can participate, which will specifically help to meet her career aspirations.
  3. Build trust by flagging her request. Share that you will revisit a raise for Kathy with next year’s budgeting that reflects an additional bonus based on performance. And remember to make good on your promise by putting a tickler in your calendar at the appropriate time.

You may not always be able to say “yes” to deserving employees in the way that they request. However, you can acknowledge their value in some of these other ways that will build trust in you and keep a star performer’s motivation high.

 

How I Lost My White-Hot Why

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An Exercise to Put the Passion Back Into Your Work

An Exercise to Put the Passion Back Into Your Work

A few years ago, I found myself staring down the main hall of the building my team and I occupied. We had just celebrated another successful million-dollar event, and a banner year for development and fundraising. I had set personal and professional goals for myself and for the team, and we had reached or exceeded all of them.

And I was bored.

I found myself dreaming about Friday afternoons and caught myself taking a few long lunches because I dreaded going back to the office.

I had lost the passion for my work. And it showed. My boss, the CEO, had called me in to share she was noticing my disengagement, and asked what was happening. I stammered and flustered about, not knowing what to say, because I didn’t know. I felt embarrassed and inadequate, and quite frankly, somewhat of a failure. Who doesn’t know why they are experiencing such a burnout?

I now know what was wrong.

I had lost sight of my “white-hot why” – why I was there and what difference my work made to the larger picture. Without keeping this transformation out in front, work was just drudgery. Same old, same old. Papers in, papers out. Goals set, goals met. The quality of my work and my relationships started to slip. I lost my leadership edge, and my career track lost footing.

Fortunately, I caught this turn of events in time to do something about it. No, I didn’t turn my work around at the company. I actually left. I examined my purpose and what called me, and realized it didn’t mesh with my work at the corporation at all.

But you don’t always have to leave your job to recapture your passion. You do have to relate what you do to the larger picture so that you understand your contribution to the larger picture – the transformation your company provides. This is what keeps the flames of work passion burning.

Recently, I guest-lectured at a university’s executive MBA program. One of the cohort, Sean, shared that he was there because he had hit a plateau in his enthusiasm for work. He was the vice president for IT services for a large healthcare organization, and he thought acquiring more knowledge and skills in leadership might help to reanimate his passion for the role he played. His story hit a chord with me, and we did an exercise right there that he claims will change his professional life. I believe it can.

In the hope that it might bring value to you and your team as you bring your talents to the larger picture, here is the exercise we did together.

Discovering Your White-Hot Why Instructions:

  1. Take a blank sheet of paper and turn it horizontally, or “landscape.”
  2. Take a pen or pencil and draw vertical lines from top to bottom so that you have 3 columns on the paper.
  3. At the top of the first column, write out your role’s top responsibilities – the work you perform each day. List 4-5 to begin with, just for the sake of the exercise.
  4. At the top of the second column, write the words “outcomes that help the company/organization operate.” In bullet point format, write out what the bullet points in column one enable the company to do.
  5. At the top of the third column, write the words “transformation the company/organization provides.” In bullet point format, write out how the company is able to make a difference in the world because of the bullet points in column 2.

With Sean’s permission, here is a sample of his larger exercise. Note how he is able to draw out the transformation he helps the organization to provide, reminding him of the value of his contributions to the larger picture.

Sean’s top responsibilities Outcomes that help the organization operate Transformation the organization provides
·       Design, develop and implement organizational information systems, software applications, and IT support and infrastructure systems ·       Best and highest-functioning infrastructure/communication systems for the healthcare organization are supported, providing critical information supporting effective patient care. ·       Providing healthcare leading to healing and wholeness for individuals, families.
 ·  ·  ·
 ·  ·  ·
 ·  ·  ·
 ·  ·  ·

 

To do your best work, you must keep your heart engaged.

What is your white-hot why?

If you choose to do this exercise, or to help your team do so, I’d love to hear what insights this brings.