Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

Patti Cotton

The Power of Self-Accountability: True Leadership Begins with the Person in the Mirror

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The Power of Self-Accountability: True Leadership Begins with the Person in the Mirror
Image Credit: Depositphotos

When it comes to leadership, there’s a lot of talk about accountability. You’ve probably heard it in meetings, seen it in performance reviews, and maybe even mentioned it yourself when discussing team dynamics. But let’s be honest—most of us view accountability through a very narrow lens. We think about how accountable others are to us. We analyze our team members, colleagues, and even our bosses, scrutinizing their actions and decisions.

Here’s the reality: true leadership doesn’t start with holding others accountable. It begins with holding yourself accountable.

The Mirror Test

Imagine this scenario: You’re a leader facing a major challenge. The project deadline is looming, and your team is behind schedule. The temptation is strong to point fingers, to find out who dropped the ball. But before you do that, stop and take a good, long look in the mirror. What do you see? Are you holding yourself accountable for the role you’ve played in this situation? Have you set clear expectations, provided the necessary support, and modeled the behavior you expect from your team?

Self-accountability is the foundation of effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and acknowledging your mistakes. It’s not easy, and it requires a level of humility that many leaders find uncomfortable. But it’s absolutely essential if you want to lead with integrity and earn the trust of your team.

The Perils of Passing the Buck

In today’s fast-paced business environment, it’s easy to get caught up in the blame game. When things go wrong, our first instinct is often to find someone to blame. Maybe it’s a team member who didn’t deliver on time, or a colleague who didn’t communicate effectively. But passing the buck is a dangerous habit that can quickly erode trust and undermine your leadership.

When leaders blame others, they create a culture of fear and defensiveness. Team members become more concerned with covering their tracks than with collaborating and innovating. Worse, the leader’s credibility takes a hit. People start to see you as someone who shirks responsibility and avoids difficult conversations. Over time, this erodes the trust that’s critical for any high-performing team.

But what if, instead of blaming others, you took ownership of the situation? What if you acknowledged your role in the problem and committed to finding a solution? This kind of self-accountability is not only refreshing—it’s empowering. It sets the tone for your team and shows them that you’re willing to do the hard work of leadership.

The Intersection of Honesty and Humility

Self-accountability is grounded in two key principles: honesty and humility. Honesty means being truthful with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures. It’s about recognizing when you’ve made a mistake and being willing to admit it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Humility, on the other hand, is about understanding that leadership isn’t about you—it’s about the people you serve. It’s about putting the needs of your team ahead of your own ego and being open to feedback, even when it’s critical. Together, honesty and humility create a powerful foundation for self-accountability.

But let’s be clear—this isn’t about self-flagellation or dwelling on your mistakes. It’s about learning from them and using those lessons to become a better leader. It’s about setting a standard of excellence for yourself and your team and holding yourself to that standard every day.

The Real Problem: Fear of Failure

One of the biggest obstacles to self-accountability is the fear of failure. As leaders, we’re often so focused on achieving success that we become paralyzed by the thought of making a mistake. We worry that admitting our failures will make us look weak or incompetent. But the truth is, everyone makes mistakes. What sets great leaders apart is their willingness to own those mistakes and learn from them.

When you hold yourself accountable, you’re not just admitting that you’re human—you’re also demonstrating resilience and a commitment to growth. You’re showing your team that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you’re willing to take responsibility and work to improve. This kind of leadership fosters a culture of trust and continuous improvement, where team members feel safe to take risks and innovate.

Solutions: Cultivating Self-Accountability

So, how can you cultivate self-accountability in your leadership? It starts with a few simple practices that you can incorporate into your daily routine.

  1. Regular Self-Reflection: Take time each day to reflect on your actions and decisions. Ask yourself, “What did I do well today? Where could I have done better? Did I hold myself to the standard I expect from others?” This simple practice can help you stay aligned with your values and identify areas for growth.
  2. Seek Feedback: Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback from your team, colleagues, and mentors. Listen to what they have to say, and be open to their perspectives. Remember, feedback is a gift—it’s an opportunity to learn and improve.
  3. Own Your Mistakes: When you make a mistake, admit it. Don’t make excuses or blame others. Instead, focus on what you can do to fix the problem and prevent it from happening again. This kind of ownership is a powerful way to build trust and credibility with your team.
  4. Model Accountability: Lead by example. Show your team what self-accountability looks like in action. When they see you taking responsibility for your actions, they’ll be more likely to do the same.

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, self-accountability is the key to effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and striving to improve every day. It’s not always easy, but it’s the foundation on which trust, respect, and long-term success are built. So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge, don’t look to place the blame—look in the mirror. That’s where true leadership begins.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Chesterton’s Fence: Why Change Is Not Always the Answer

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Chesterton’s Fence: Why Change Is Not Always the Answer
Image Credit: Depositphotos

As a business leader, it’s tempting to charge in, identify what looks like inefficiency, and implement changes to make your mark.

The impulse to prove yourself as a decisive and innovative leader often pushes you toward altering systems and structures right out of the gate. But what if, in your rush to change things, you’re actually dismantling something valuable—something you don’t yet fully understand?

That’s where Chesterton’s Fence comes in. It’s a concept every leader should consider before rushing to make changes. This principle, though seemingly simple, can save organizations from unnecessary upheaval and wasted effort. It encourages leaders to pause and ask the crucial question: Why is this here in the first place?

What is Chesterton’s Fence?

G.K. Chesterton, a British philosopher, once said, “Don’t ever take down a fence until you know the reason it was put up.”

This simple idea has profound implications for leadership. In essence, it means that before you change or eliminate something, you need to understand why it exists.

In business, Chesterton’s Fence represents the established processes, policies, and structures that might seem outdated or ineffective at first glance. But the problem is, leaders often fail to ask why these systems were put in place before dismantling them. This is a critical error.

The fence may be preventing problems you can’t see yet. It might be there for reasons tied to legal compliance, institutional knowledge, or operational efficiency. Only when you’ve fully grasped the original purpose can you wisely decide if it should stay or go. Otherwise, you might make things worse by pulling down something essential.

The Leadership Trap: The Impulse for Change

If you’re a leader, particularly a new one, the pressure to change things is enormous. You feel the need to make an impact, to modernize, optimize, and demonstrate your leadership. And while that impulse is understandable, it’s also dangerous.

Leaders often think, “If it isn’t new, it must not be good enough.” But not every existing process is broken. Not every policy is outdated. What’s worse, making changes too quickly without understanding the system can lead to unintended consequences.

Take a common scenario: a new leader walks into an organization and immediately restructures teams, implements new technologies, and overhauls company policies. Sure, they’ve made their mark, but have they made things better? Often, these changes lead to confusion, frustration, and even a drop in morale. Why? Because these leaders didn’t take the time to understand why things were the way they were before they decided to “fix” them.

Change isn’t inherently bad. In fact, in some cases, it’s essential. But change for change’s sake can destroy what’s working and replace it with something worse.

The Dangers of Impulsive Change

Here are a couple of examples that illustrate what happens when leaders jump into change without understanding the reasons behind existing structures.

Case Study 1: A Policy Change That Backfired

I worked with a company years ago that decided to scrap a long-standing policy because it seemed old-fashioned. On the surface, the policy appeared unnecessary and restrictive. But what the new leadership didn’t realize was that the policy protected the company from legal exposure. By removing it without understanding its purpose, the company exposed itself to costly legal risks and took a huge financial hit.

Case Study 2: A Team Restructure Gone Wrong

In another instance, I was called to work with a newly appointed executive who had decided to reorganize a well-functioning team to streamline operations. However, the team’s original structure was designed with specific interpersonal dynamics and skill sets in mind. The hasty restructure disrupted those dynamics, and the team’s productivity plummeted. What appeared to be inefficiency was actually the key to their success, and it took months to rebuild the lost synergy. Trust was lost, and we took some time in rebuilding it.

In both cases, the leaders acted with good intentions, but their failure to apply Chesterton’s Fence led to negative outcomes. By failing to understand the “fences” they were tearing down, they caused more problems than they solved.

Applying Chesterton’s Fence in Your Business

So, how do you apply Chesterton’s Fence as a business leader? How do you avoid the trap of changing things that don’t need to be changed?

Here are three practical steps:

  1. Investigate Before You Act

Before you make any change, ask yourself (and others) some basic questions: Why is this process or system in place? What problem was it originally designed to solve? Too often, leaders assume they know the answers without digging deeper. Your due diligence should prompt you to go beyond surface-level assumptions.

Take the time to talk to long-standing employees who have insight into why certain policies or structures exist. Look at historical performance data—what do the numbers say? By understanding the purpose behind the existing system, you’ll be better equipped to decide whether it’s really broken.

  1. Identify What’s Working

As leaders, we tend to focus on fixing what’s broken. But sometimes, the most important question to ask is: What’s already working? There may be processes, teams, or systems in your organization that are performing better than you realize.

Resist the urge to assume that newer is always better. Yes, innovation is important, but it’s not a virtue in and of itself. There’s real value in preserving the things that are effective. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side; sometimes, it’s greener right where you are.

  1. Make Incremental, Informed Changes

Once you’ve done your homework, consider making changes incrementally. Instead of tearing down the fence altogether, start by adjusting one section of it. Test new ideas in one department before rolling them out company-wide. Small, informed adjustments allow you to assess the impact without creating unnecessary disruption.

Pilot programs and incremental changes are a great way to innovate while respecting the structures that have served your organization well. It gives you the chance to correct course if things don’t go as planned.

When Change is Necessary

Of course, there are times when change is essential. Some processes are clearly outdated, some technologies truly need to be updated, and some systems are obviously inefficient. In those cases, by all means, take the fence down. But even then, do it thoughtfully, with a clear understanding of what you’re replacing and why.

Balance is key here. As a leader, you need to discern between necessary evolution and impulsive change. When you change, root it in data and a clear understanding of the organization’s current state.

Conclusion: Change Isn’t Always the Answer

Chesterton’s Fence offers business leaders a powerful lesson: before you change anything, understand why it exists. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is nothing at all—especially if the existing structures are working better than you realize. Effective leadership isn’t about changing everything you touch; it’s about making the right changes, at the right time, for the right reasons.

The next time you feel the urge to tear down a “fence,” take a moment to ask yourself why it was put there in the first place. You might be surprised at what you discover.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Making Tough Decisions: Why You Need to Build a Strong Business Case

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Making Tough Decisions: Why You Need to Build a Strong Business Case
Image Credit: Depositphotos

In the world of leadership, tough decisions are inevitable. Yet, it’s not just the decision itself that matters; it’s how you communicate and justify that decision to your team.

The true measure of leadership often comes down to how well a leader can rally their team around a shared vision, especially when the choices are difficult. A well-constructed business case isn’t just a formality; it’s a powerful tool that can make the difference between a unified, motivated team and one that is confused, resistant, or disengaged.

To do this, making a strong business case for each of your decisions is vital.

As you read, ask yourself where you congratulate yourself (where you do well), and where you can do better. It will make a significant difference in your team’s alignment and support.

Clarity: The Foundation of Effective Decision-Making

How clear are you with others about what the problem is and why it needs to be addressed?

Imagine a CEO who needs to cut costs by reducing the workforce. It’s a painful decision that impacts lives, yet it’s necessary for the company’s survival. The first step this leader must take is to ensure clarity. A well-crafted business case will clearly define the problem—perhaps dwindling profits or market shifts—and outline the objectives, such as maintaining the company’s long-term viability.

When a leader provides this level of clarity, it aligns the team’s understanding with the leader’s vision. Everyone knows why the decision is being made and what the desired outcomes are. Without this clarity, confusion spreads like wildfire. Team members may misinterpret the decision, leading to misaligned efforts, wasted resources, and a breakdown in trust.

Conversely, you may have known a CEO that has announced layoffs with little explanation. Employees are left in the dark, wondering why some jobs were cut and not others. The lack of clarity breeds fear, rumors, and a sense of injustice—none of which contribute to a productive workplace.

Evidence: Building Credibility Through Facts

Do you have all the facts you need to make a sound decision?

Imagine your company has decided to enter a new market. The decision is bold, risky even, but necessary for growth. A strong business case in this situation would include detailed market analysis, financial projections, and competitive research. This evidence doesn’t just justify the decision; it demonstrates that you have done your homework, considered all angles, and made an informed choice.

When a decision is supported by solid evidence, it builds confidence among the team. They see that you aren’t making a blind leap but is basing the decision on data and thorough analysis. This level of transparency is crucial for maintaining trust.

But what happens when the evidence is lacking? Suppose you decide to enter the new market without proper research, relying instead on gut feeling or anecdotal evidence (I’m hard-pressed to think you would, but just go with me, here!). Your team will quickly sense the lack of rigor. Questions will arise: “Is this really the best move? What if it fails?” Doubts will begin to undermine your credibility, and the team’s trust in you will begin to erode.

Risk Management: Preparing for the Unknown

One area some leaders tend to overlook is to identify the potential risks and impact related to each possible solution.

Every tough decision comes with risks. Leaders who acknowledge these risks upfront and include mitigation strategies in their business case show a level of foresight that earns respect. It’s one thing to say, “We’re cutting costs by reducing staff,” but it’s another to add, “We’ve identified key areas that will remain fully staffed to ensure continued operations, and we have a plan to support those who are laid off.”

Ignoring risks is a recipe for disaster. When a leader glosses over potential downsides, the team is left unprepared for challenges that arise. Take the example of a company deciding to outsource a critical function. If the risks—such as quality control issues or delays—are not addressed in the business case, the team may be blindsided when these problems occur, leading to crisis management rather than proactive solutions.

Strategic Alignment: Connecting the Dots

Does your decision align with the company’s strategic goals?

For a decision to resonate with the team, it must be clearly linked to the company’s broader strategic goals. A robust business case doesn’t just justify the decision; it connects it to the company’s mission and long-term vision.

Consider a leader who decides to invest heavily in technology to automate processes. A strong business case would demonstrate how this investment supports the company’s goal of becoming more efficient and competitive in the market. It shows that the decision is not just about saving money or keeping up with trends but is a strategic move aligned with the company’s future.

Without this strategic alignment, decisions can feel disconnected from the bigger picture. Team members might wonder, “Why are we focusing on this now?” If they can’t see how their work contributes to the company’s success, motivation dwindles, and the decision may feel purposeless.

Addressing Concerns: Building Trust Through Dialogue

Are you allowing space for the team to weigh in and express concerns?

One of the most overlooked aspects of decision-making is addressing team concerns. When leaders take the time to listen to feedback and incorporate it into their business case, they show that they value their team’s input. This not only builds trust but also fosters a sense of ownership among team members.

Imagine a leader deciding to restructure the organization. By proactively engaging with employees, addressing their concerns, and explaining how the restructure aligns with the company’s goals, the leader can turn potential resistance into support.

On the flip side, neglecting these concerns can backfire. If a leader pushes through a decision without seeking input or acknowledging fears, the team may feel alienated. Resentment builds, and the decision, no matter how sound, may be met with passive or active resistance.

Implementation: Turning Plans into Action

Sound execution is key.

Even the best business case can fail without a clear implementation plan. This includes timelines, milestones, and accountability. A leader who outlines the steps for execution and regularly checks in on progress ensures that the decision moves from concept to reality.

Consider a leader who has made the decision to launch a new product. A solid business case will include a detailed rollout plan, assigning responsibilities and setting deadlines. Regular follow-ups ensure that the team stays on track and can make adjustments as needed.

Without this, even the most well-intentioned decisions can flounder. Ambiguity leads to delays, missed targets, and frustration. The lack of follow-through erodes confidence in leadership and undermines the decision itself.

The Cost of Neglecting the Process

When leaders skip or rush through the process of building a strong business case, the consequences can be severe:

  • Decreased Trust and Morale: Lack of clarity, evidence, and engagement can erode trust and lower team morale. When decisions seem arbitrary or poorly justified, team members may become disengaged and demotivated.
  • Increased Resistance: Without addressing concerns and providing a compelling business case, team members are more likely to resist the decision. This resistance can manifest in reduced cooperation, lower productivity, and even open conflict.
  • Ineffective Execution: A weak or poorly communicated business case often leads to ineffective implementation. Ambiguity and lack of direction can result in missed deadlines, subpar performance, and wasted resources.
  • Long-Term Damage: Over time, failing to present a strong business case can damage leadership credibility and organizational culture. Teams may become skeptical of future decisions and question the leader’s ability to guide the organization effectively.

Making tough decisions is a fundamental part of leadership, but the process doesn’t end with the decision itself. Crafting and presenting a strong business case—one that is clear, evidence-based, strategically aligned, and responsive to team concerns—ensures that your decisions are not just made but embraced and executed effectively. By investing the time and effort to build a compelling business case, you can turn even the most challenging decisions into opportunities for growth, unity, and long-term success.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Business Leaders – Got Flow?

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Business Leaders – Got Flow?
Image Credit: Depositphotos

Have you ever been so immersed in an activity that time seemed to fly by?

That’s what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls “flow”—a state of complete immersion characterized by intense focus and enjoyment. In a flow state, your skills are perfectly matched to the challenge at hand, leading to effortless involvement and deep concentration.

Why Does Flow Matter for You as a Business Leader?

Flow is not just a psychological concept; it’s a game-changer for business leaders. When leaders experience flow, their productivity and creativity skyrocket. They work at their optimal level, managing stress and avoiding burnout by finding intrinsic satisfaction in their tasks.

Flow Activities for Leaders

You don’t need an exotic vacation to attain flow. Here are some activities that might surprise you:

  • Professional Activities: Strategic planning sessions, problem-solving workshops, innovation brainstorming meetings, and in-depth project work can all trigger flow.
  • Personal Activities: Painting, writing, playing a musical instrument, gardening, or sports provide a mental break and stimulate creativity, contributing to a balanced life.

How to Achieve Flow

Set Clear Goals

Flow begins with clarity. Set clearly defined, achievable goals to enter a flow state. Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps to maintain focus and motivation. For example, developing a new strategic plan can start with researching market trends, brainstorming with key team members, and then drafting the plan.

Balance Challenge and Skill

The sweet spot for flow lies in balancing your skills with the right level of challenge. Tasks that are too easy lead to boredom, while overly difficult tasks cause anxiety. Gradually increase the complexity of tasks as your skills improve. For instance, seasoned leaders might challenge themselves with new market expansion strategies, while newer leaders focus on improving team communication skills.

Eliminate Distractions

Create an environment conducive to focus, free from interruptions. Use time-blocking for deep work, focus apps to minimize digital distractions, and designate a quiet workspace. Communicate with your team about the importance of uninterrupted time for key tasks. If you experience consistent interruptions, note any trends and devise a plan to redirect these.

For example, one of my clients felt he could not block off two hours without interruption. We learned that many of these were instances where things could wait, and he taught his executive assistant to triage these and schedule or redirect them to someone else.

Outcome?

More than 90% of his interruptions disappeared.

Foster Intrinsic Motivation

Engage in activities that are inherently rewarding and align tasks with your personal values and interests. Intrinsic motivation sustains focus and enjoyment, making it easier to enter a flow state. Reflect on what aspects of your work you find most fulfilling and seek to incorporate more of those elements into your daily routine.

Benefits of Flow for Business Leaders

Enhanced Productivity

Flow leads to significant increases in efficiency and output. Leaders in flow complete complex tasks more quickly and effectively. For example, a CEO in flow might streamline operations or develop innovative solutions that boost organizational efficiency.

Improved Creativity

Flow fosters a mindset conducive to creative thinking and problem-solving. Leaders are more likely to generate novel ideas and innovative solutions. Consider a healthcare executive who experiences flow during strategic retreats, developing breakthrough strategies that position their facility as a leader in patient care.

Greater Job Satisfaction

Regularly experiencing flow leads to higher job satisfaction and fulfillment. Engaging in deeply rewarding activities contributes to a sense of purpose and achievement. Leaders who cultivate flow in their professional and personal lives often report greater overall happiness and career satisfaction.

Better Stress Management

Flow helps reduce stress and promotes mental well-being by providing a sense of accomplishment and intrinsic satisfaction. Leaders can use flow as a tool for relaxation and mental rejuvenation by engaging in hobbies or exercise that induce flow.

Enhanced Decision-Making

Flow improves cognitive functions essential for making sound decisions. Leaders in flow process information more efficiently and make more informed choices. For instance, a business leader might develop a comprehensive and effective response to a market shift while in a flow state.

Increased Resilience and Adaptability

Regular engagement in flow activities builds resilience and adaptability, helping leaders handle challenges and crises more effectively. Flow activities encourage a growth mindset, enabling leaders to view challenges as opportunities for development.

Stronger Team Dynamics

Encouraging team members to find and engage in their own flow activities can lead to improved collaboration and team performance. Creating a work environment that values deep work and focused engagement can boost overall productivity and morale.

Elevated Leadership Presence

Leaders who regularly experience flow are more inspiring and motivational to others. Their ability to focus and achieve results sets a positive example for their teams. A CEO who prioritizes flow activities may develop a reputation for being calm, focused, and highly effective, attracting top talent and fostering a strong organizational culture.

Practical Steps for Integrating Flow into Leadership

Incorporate Flow into Daily Routines

Schedule specific times for flow activities into your daily routine, balancing professional responsibilities with personal interests. For example, set aside an hour each morning for strategic planning or a favorite hobby before diving into daily meetings.

Assess Training and Development Programs

Implement workshops and training sessions on achieving flow for leaders and teams. Encourage ongoing learning and skill development to facilitate flow. Organizations can offer training on time management, mindfulness, and goal setting to help leaders and employees enter flow more easily.

Create a Supportive Environment

Design workplaces that support deep work and minimize distractions. Encourage practices that promote focus, such as quiet hours and designated deep workspaces. Foster a culture that values focus, creativity, and well-being by recognizing and rewarding employees who demonstrate flow and high engagement.

The Importance of Flow for Leaders

In summary, flow enhances productivity, creativity, job satisfaction, and stress management while positively impacting leadership abilities. Leaders who regularly engage in flow activities are more effective, resilient, and satisfied – a pretty powerful business case.

The Call to Action

Here’s your personal challenge: Embrace the transformative power of flow for leadership and personal fulfillment! Start small and gradually integrate flow activities into your life. Experiment with different activities and strategies to find what works best for you. And drop me a line to let me know how it’s working for you.

Reference

  • Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper & Row.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Why Achieving What You Want May Not Make You Happier

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Why Achieving What You Want May Not Make You Happier
Image Credit: Depositphotos

How Fulfilled Are You?

In our goal-driven society, many believe that achieving certain milestones—landing the dream job, buying a luxurious home, reaching a specific net worth—will lead to lasting happiness.

However, research and psychological insights suggest otherwise.

In fact, the notion that achieving what you want will make you perpetually happier is flawed.

Why is this?

Your “happiness set point” won’t allow it.

Happiness Set Point

The concept of the “happiness set point” is key to understanding why achievements don’t lead to long-term happiness. This idea, stemming from research in positive psychology, posits that individuals have a relatively stable level of happiness that they return to after experiencing highs or lows. This baseline is shown to be influenced by genetic factors and long-term personality traits.

One of the seminal studies in this area was conducted by psychologists Brickman and Campbell in 1971, introducing the “hedonic treadmill” theory. They observed that both lottery winners and paraplegics, after initial spikes in happiness or despair, tended to return to their baseline happiness levels over time.

Subsequent studies have reinforced these findings, suggesting that our life circumstances only account for about 10% of our overall happiness, while 50% is genetic and 40% is influenced by activities and mindset.

Does this mean you can’t change your happiness set point?

Are you doomed to reach what you have experienced in the past as the top of your “fulfillment quotient”?

Quite the contrary.

A CEO’s Experience

John, the CEO of a prominent healthcare facility, had always been driven by his professional goals. With decades of hard work, he transformed a small clinic into a leading healthcare provider in his region. Despite his impressive achievements, John found himself feeling unfulfilled and stressed. His initial excitement and pride over his accomplishments faded quickly, replaced by a constant pressure to achieve more.

When John and I first met, he believed that his unhappiness stemmed from the relentless demands of his job and the pressure to continually expand and innovate. He thought that by reaching new milestones—such as opening more facilities, increasing patient satisfaction scores, and boosting the clinic’s financial performance—he would find lasting happiness and fulfillment.

In reality, John’s unhappiness was not about the goals he had yet to achieve but rather his fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of happiness and fulfillment. He was caught in the cycle of hedonic adaptation, where each new success quickly became the new normal, providing only temporary boosts to his happiness.

John’s focus on extrinsic goals, such as professional accolades and financial success, left him neglecting intrinsic sources of happiness, such as personal growth, meaningful relationships, and self-care.

Expectations play a crucial role in the disconnect between achievement and lasting happiness. And although John was an incredibly intelligent leader, he was under a false impression. Having set high expectations for the outcomes of his goals, he believed they would solve many of his problems and bring greater and more consistent joy. When the reality fell short of these expectations, disappointment set in, and the anticipated happiness evaporated.

Moreover, social comparisons exacerbated this issue. In today’s age of social media, where John constantly saw curated highlights of other successful leaders’ lives, his achievements felt inadequate, leading to dissatisfaction despite having reached his goals.

Fortunately, you can elevate your happiness set point. Fulfillment is not beyond reach.

Reset

As we worked together, John’s journey to greater happiness started with understanding of the limitations of achievement-based happiness. Often, we get so caught up in what we think will make us happy that we lose sight of the “why” – the vision of what this will bring us. Along with this, we can often develop a “rat wheel” mentality of pushing harder toward certain goals and actually derail vision.

For example, John had become somewhat of an automaton as it came to targeting higher and higher stretch goals in both his personal and professional life. When I asked him what enough was, he didn’t know. He had forgotten why he was doing it all. He also operated at a high stress level, attempting to push harder and harder under the false assumption that he would get “there” faster (wherever “faster” was).

It was time to regroup. John had not only lost sight of his personal vision, but he had also developed a false version based on what others expected of him. Once we worked through this, we dove deep into his values. Where was he living these? Where was he not doing so? What were the consequences? And how would his life and work change if he aligned these?

Important shifts in how he operated as a leader and in life were identified. Key steps and conversations were targeted and put into his leadership development plan, so that we could work through these.

Results

John’s stress levels began to decrease with each meeting and move forward. As we reshaped how he showed up as a leader and executed within his role, I developed a daily checklist for him to keep at his desk as a reminder.

Checklist

That checklist is below, with some of my notes behind each, showing how we worked together to help John raise his happiness quotient and experience much greater fulfillment.

  1. Focus on Intrinsic Goals.

John started setting goals centered around personal growth, relationships, and community contribution, which provided more lasting satisfaction than extrinsic goals like wealth and professional accolades. He adjusted how he executed in his leadership role so that he was tapping into key strengths and leading within his values.

  1. Practice Gratitude

Regularly reflecting on what he was grateful for counteracted hedonic adaptation and helped John maintain higher levels of happiness. His family reported that they were experiencing John significantly different – much happier, more engaged.

  1. Engage in Flow Activities

John began to immerse himself in activities that fully engaged and satisfied him, known as flow states, creating deep and lasting contentment. We identified how, within the way he worked, he could also achieve this so that he experienced more vibrancy and energy within his leadership role.

  1. Build Resilient Relationships

Strong social connections are consistently linked with higher well-being. John admitted that he had let this part of his life wither. We worked consistently to revive this, and it provided John with enduring happiness that achievements alone could not.

  1. Practice Mindfulness and Acceptance

From the beginning, I invited John to embrace mindfulness techniques. These helped John to lower his stress, strengthen his focus, and in the longer game, appreciate the present moment, eliminating the perpetual yearning for future achievements.

The pursuit of goals and achievements is a natural part of human ambition. However, understanding that these achievements will not lead to perpetual happiness will allow us to shift our focus towards more enduring sources of well-being. By prioritizing intrinsic goals, nurturing relationships, and practicing gratitude, we can create a more balanced and fulfilling life, where happiness is derived not just from what we achieve, but from how we live each day.

References

  1. Brickman, P., & Campbell, D. T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. In M. H. Appley (Ed.), Adaptation Level Theory: A Symposium (pp. 287–302). Academic Press.
  2. Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Penguin Press.
  3. Diener, E., Lucas, R. E., & Scollon, C. N. (2006). Beyond the Hedonic Treadmill: Revising the Adaptation Theory of Well-Being. American Psychologist, 61(4), 305–314.

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