Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

Patti Cotton

When Your Feedback Doesn’t Work

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When Your Feedback Doesn’t Work
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Feedback is crucial.

It is necessary for aligning expectations, solving problems, improving performance, and developing talent – all the things that increase the bottom line.

But often, feedback doesn’t work.

In fact, more than half of your managers may not be having the difficult conversations needed to hold people accountable.

What’s the problem?

A survey of 750 HR professionals by Sibson Consulting and World at Work revealed that 63% of executives believe that the biggest challenge of performance management is managers’ unwillingness to have difficult conversations.

And this may be because when managers do deliver feedback, it is poorly received.

According to a study by Globoforce (2011), even when managers tackle these conversations with the best of intentions, employees are often left feeling resentful or discouraged – 55% of employees believe their review is inaccurate or unfair, and one in four say it is the thing they dread most in their working lives.

I work with companies to develop leadership and align culture. If a particular company’s management is struggling to hold its people accountable, I find it is usually due to poor feedback delivery and follow-through.

Here are five top reasons likely to keep a manager’s feedback from working:

1. The feedback isn’t timely.

I hear more dismay and resentment from employees who have just received their yearly evaluation. They cite being surprised and hurt at hearing for the first time a dissatisfaction with their performance dating back 12 months.

“Why did he wait so long to tell me?” asked one employee. “I feel like I’ve been judged for a year on something I could have fixed long ago.”

Another said, “I rectified that situation 10 months ago – why am I getting cited for it as though it’s still a problem?”

The answer to this is timely feedback. Teach your managers to address problem behavior quickly so that the employee in question can benefit most. Not only will the situation be fresh in their minds, they can also get on track to course-correcting much sooner. And instead of writing this up 12 months later as a problem, your manager can talk about the employee’s improved behavior.

2. The feedback doesn’t seem clear or relevant.

When addressing problem behavior, your manager needs to remember to:

a. Be specific about the behavior. It is not enough to say, “You need to stop acting like a drill sergeant,” which is a judgment and open to many interpretations. Instead, the manager must point out specifics about the person’s presence that require change. To use the drill sergeant illustration, is it language? Tone of voice? The closed or intimidating body language using folded arms, leaning into someone’s face, etc.?

b. Relate how the behavior has a negative business impact. Your manager needs to coach his employee – not just course-correct. Part of this is to relate the problem behavior to a negative impact on the business so that the employee can understand cause and effect.

For example, “When you use that harsh tone of voice, it can feel intimidating or offensive to others, which causes them to refrain from collaborating with you. If we don’t have a team that can work well together, we won’t be able to produce the results we need in order to support the business.”

3. The feedback doesn’t offer a clear picture of the desired behavior that should replace the current problem behavior.

Sometimes, employees just don’t want to change. But the more likely scenario is that they want to do well, but they simply don’t know how. Just because your manager has identified the problem behavior doesn’t mean the employee knows how to replace this with one that is acceptable.

Be sure your manager describes in detail the new behavior they want to see. For example, if an employee has been conveying disapproval or aloofness in meetings with body language, the manager should give a very specific behavioral alternative. For example, give details such as, “Instead of crossing your arms and leaning back during meetings, try leaning forward just a bit (which connotes interest), and keep your arms at your side. This will eliminate the appearance that you don’t care or that you disapprove of the message you are currently hearing.”

4. The employee doesn’t trust the person delivering the feedback.

This is a tough one. If your manager is perceived as not having the best interests of his employee in mind, the latter will not receive the feedback well, due to a lack of trust. If your manager has effectuated steps 1-3 above and is still not getting anywhere, it’s time for the manager to check in with a different question, such as, “Sandra, you and I have talked about your tendency to overlook deadlines, and you have pledged to correct this. Yet, the problem persists. Help me to understand what’s happening. Can you shed more light on this?”

This approach should reveal whether there is something else behind the lack of change, such as a basic resentment and feeling of unfairness on the part of the employee, or another problem of which the manager was unaware.

5. The employee’s identity is at stake.

It can happen that feedback simply doesn’t register because it threatens the employee’s sense of self.

Hearing feedback that doesn’t register with that sense of self can cause an employee to become defensive or feel overwhelmed and unable to respond. The employee may insist on disbelieving the feedback since they cannot “see” their behavior being a problem or having a negative impact.

A standoff will not be productive.

Instead, consider having your manager engage the employee in a series of small experiments as a way to coach the latter into more awareness and better management of self.

For example, if Max frequently ignores his fellow employees in the workplace, your manager can help him with a small, but focused goal to connect with each of them once daily. Have the manager ask Max to observe how his fellow employees react to him over the next few weeks and report back. Most likely, Max’s coworkers will begin to warm up to him and include him in more conversations. Debriefing with the manager will begin to help Max develop more awareness around how his lack of connectivity has adversely affected his work relationships – and a way to turn this around.

Teaching your managers the gift of honest and productive feedback is manifold. Far beyond outlining standards, it can provide your employees with a growth path that benefits them, their team, and your organization. Take charge of this process by modeling this with your executive team so that you can begin to integrate true accountability into your culture.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

The Cost of Snap Judgments

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The Cost of Snap Judgments
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Are you compromising your leadership by making snap judgments?

Research shows that we use less information than we think when making decisions.

Yet, what can you do when the volume of problems to be solved continues to grow?

If you tend to make decisions quickly without the benefit of “the rest of the story,” your leadership and your company are in jeopardy.

How do you solve this?

Here’s an actual client scenario: (names are fictitious)

Nate, senior manager of operations of Allen, Inc., hurried into Jim’s office. “Our steel inventory won’t meet demands this next month. I’m particularly concerned about making good on our commitment to Shanden, Inc., our biggest account.”

“You are right – we can’t have this,” sputtered Jim, CEO. “I hate to do it, but go ahead and buy the more expensive grade of steel for their current project. I know it doesn’t require it, but we need to keep Shanden. I’ll find the money somewhere.”

Jim and Nate spent a lot of money to procure last-minute inventory – and inventory that was overkill for what Shanden’s project actually required.

Here’s what both men did not consider – and which could have saved them headaches and dollars:

  1. Jim lost trust, which was replaced by resentment.

    Jim lost trust with his employees

And he lost trust with his middle management.

In this scenario, Sam, the relationship manager for the top account was not consulted. If he had been, Nate and Jim would have learned that Shanden’s project had in fact come to a standstill for external reasons. The men could have waited and ordered less expensive inventory.

“I could have saved them a lot of trouble and money,” Sam said. “I may as well be invisible here.”

Jim lost trust with Allen employees who worked directly with Shanden to deliver product.

They became resentful, knowing this kind of steel was overkill and required quite a bit more money. Could this kind of decision-making jeopardize things like their raises that they had been promised later in the year? If the boss had such funding, why had he said the company couldn’t invest in better conditions for them? Did he really care about them?

  1. Jim lost an opportunity to mentor and empower his top talent.

Nate had a habit of knee-jerking and not getting all the facts before panicking – something that Jim had inadvertently fostered in him by doing the same.

And Sam was furious. “I feel like a useless paper-pusher, here,” he told me. “If I were included in decisions that affect my area, I could contribute quite a bit – and save Allen money and relationships!”

Nate should have included Sam in his fact-gathering – and Jim should have asked that Sam’s input be included before making a decision. Getting the perspective and input from all relevant parties would have resulted in a much healthier, less costly outcome and much better team relationships.

  1. Jim weakened Allen, Inc.’s future.

Jim incurred loss for the company. Allen lost money on the Shanden project as a result of throwing money at it. This meant that Allen didn’t have the reserves it needed to invest in some of the company’s top priorities later that year – including the employee raises and some expansion it was considering. These losses definitely affected employee morale and productivity, and Allen’s future opportunities.

What happened to Jim? Jim fell into the psychological trap of allowing his emotions to get in the way of careful judgment.

Ed O’Brien, associate professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, has performed experiments with decision-making that point out the following:

“People view the mind as a rational arbiter, assuming that they and others will withhold judgment until they finish flipping through all the evidence. But the mind isn’t just a passive information processor; it’s also emotional. In reality, once people begin to experience…evidence in real time, they will inevitably react to it as they go along. We won’t need to see later information if we already love or hate the very first piece” (“We Use Less Information to Make Decisions Than We Think,” Harvard Business Review, 03-07-19).

Are you too quick to judge?

Losing trust, weakening your business, and limiting opportunities definitely make a case for slowing down, getting the full picture, and diagnosing the real problem.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Are You Sabotaging Your Team with Workarounds?

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Are You Sabotaging Your Team with Workarounds?
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Are you undermining your team? You may think not – but they may answer differently.

I was once contacted by a frustrated leader. He had already lost one of his most valuable executives, and the rest of the team had fallen into an energy rut.

When he called me, Sam said, “I need to light a fire under these executives! They aren’t working to capacity. Can you come and do some team building with me to get this team back on track?”

But after a bit of investigation, I told Sam the pressing problem was not his team – it was him.

“Sam, I recommend that you and I work together to enhance your leadership,” I said. “Because, frankly, I believe that you are the problem.”

“What?” Sam sputtered. “What am I doing?”

“You are sabotaging your team with workarounds,” I replied. “You are undermining your executives’ authority,” I answered. “And it’s killing your team.”

“I don’t understand,” he responded. “I would never undermine anyone.”

“I know you don’t mean it,” I answered, “But it’s happening, and it’s serious. Let me give you just one example,” I said. “It’s always easiest when we take a real-time situation and dissect it so that you can see it.”

John, senior Vice President reporting to Sam, had shared the following with me:

Janet, manager of IT and one of John’s direct reports, was reticent to confront one of her employees on some poor behavior. As a consequence, things had reached a critical point. John urged Janet to step up and place her employee on a performance improvement plan – and Janet wasn’t happy.

In fact, Janet went to Sam, and she complained. Janet felt John’s edict was too harsh and Sam sympathized. Moreover, he overrode John’s directive and told Janet to forget writing up a performance improvement plan and just “work harder” with the employee.

When John found out, he was furious. Sam had disempowered John by getting in the middle.

“Well,” said Sam, “John was a bit harsh on Janet. I’ve known Janet a long time – and I think she just needs to work harder with the employee.”

“You aren’t hearing me, Sam,” I said. “You just disempowered John by doing this. Janet reports to John, right?”

“Well, yes, but…”

“Sam, when you allow people to work around their boss by coming directly to you, you are triangulating. You have created a conflict. Moreover, you have rendered their boss ineffective by showing others that they can just come to you when they don’t like a directive. And you have sent a clear message to their boss that you don’t trust them to handle things.”

Sam was silent.

“I have other examples, Sam,” I said. “You told me that Tim, your senior vice president of operations, has become disengaged. After a long conversation with him, he admits that you openly interfere with his decisions on even very small things, such as the color of paint in the bathrooms in the new offices. Evidently, you called the painters and had them change the color.”

“Well, yes, but…”

“Sam, if I came in and changed whatever directives you gave to your team, if I openly challenged your decisions on even the smallest things and went behind your back to alter things, how would you feel?”

“Oh.”

“Right,” I said. “The reason your team is disengaged is because you are actively disempowering them and they are simply giving up. One of your team members said, ‘Why should I put myself into this? Sam will just come along and change it and make me look inept.’”

Sam was, in fact, actively breeding mediocrity. No one wanted to fully engage anymore. They were loath to make decisions. One said, “I feel like a simple paper pusher. My people don’t respect me – they just run to Sam if they don’t like something I’ve decided.”

“Sam, moreover, you are thwarting your company’s succession plan – you are in the way of any true leadership development that can occur.”

Sam stared out the window. “But I’m not always in agreement with their decisions. Sometimes, I feel like they are going down the wrong track.”

“If you feel like that, Sam, this tells me that they haven’t received the expectations and mentoring from you that they need in order perform well – and this is where we need to work, now.”

Over the next few months, I worked with Sam and his team to set expectations around roles and responsibilities. We then worked on holding each other accountable in a way that mentored each to assume greater autonomy. As we used this framework, Sam became more comfortable with their decision-making. At the same time, I had to ask Sam to catch when he recognized employees were working around their bosses to come to him.

“Here’s what you do, Sam,” I said. “You redirect. You ask them to go back to their boss to solve the problem Whatever you do, you mustn’t give them the impression that you will step in the middle. Support your people.”

This was hardest for Sam to do – he had received great affirmation by having people come to him with problems. But he had to let go and take on a new approach with his leadership to empower and support his team so that they learned how to do the same for their own teams.

If you are a workaround artist, stop it. You are eroding your team’s credibility and engagement, and long-term, driving mediocrity as leadership culture.

And if you have a boss that is a workaround artist, you need to have a talk. Tell him or her that you are working on your own team-building, and that you recognize they need to respect your authority. Say that in order to do this, to please redirect your team member back to you, and to give support to your leadership so that you can be effective.

This is a tough conversation to have – but unless you do it, you will continue to disengage and feel helpless in the face of big decisions.

What has your experience been with workarounds? Let’s keep the conversation going.

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

How to Remedy Mediocre Team Trust

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How to Remedy Mediocre Team Trust
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How much is enough when it comes to trust on your team? You may feel it’s pretty good – and that it’s “good enough.”

But your organization is suffering if you feel this way. The company will be missing out on so many things that ultimately affect its profitability and the return on shareholder investment.

Truth be told, you are suffering, as well. It’s just subtle enough that you may not realize it.

Are you compromising your best leadership because of mediocre team trust? 

Following are some things that high trust can do for you, your team, and the organization.

1. Impact of Trust at the Individual Level

  • You bond with others to enjoy better relationships.
  • You feel personally and professionally protected, knowing others have your best interests in mind.
  • You are assured that you can count on others to inspire you to contribute your best and be a part of the larger picture.

2. Impact of Trust at the Team Level

  • You enjoy more collaboration. It feels safe to process challenges, solve problems, and reach goals together. Conflict is dealt with so that relationships are respected and issues are solved.
  • You reap enhanced creativity and innovation. You feel comfortable sharing new ideas and taking risks. You feel comfortable that your team members have your back, and you are willing to have theirs.
  • Team productivity soars, and morale is high.

3. Impact of Trust at the Organizational Level

  • Heightened employee engagement and satisfaction override decreased turnover.
  • There is increased productivity and profitability.
  • The company enjoys a higher return on shareholder investment.

How do you begin to build greater trust on your team?

1. Review with your team the anatomy of trust.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Become well-acquainted with what makes up trust so that you can begin to identify where the team needs to grow.

2. Use this as an opportunity to begin building trust.

Have all team members rate the team as a whole (as if the team were one individual).

  • Where does the team do well?
  • Identify the top three areas where the team has a growth opportunity.

Then, brainstorm together on a plan to work on these.

  • What are first steps?
  • How will you measure success?
  • And how will you hold each other accountable?

The benefits of high trust on a team are many. I challenge you to get excited around this and to build additional trust on your team. Let me know how it works!

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Why You Need to Get Personal with Your Team

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Why You Need to Get Personal with Your Team
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Many years ago, I oversaw the development for five hospitals. It was a great joy to develop the team for some near-impossible goals that my area had been given, and to reach these successfully.

I loved my team and would have done just about anything for them. But sadly, they didn’t know that. In fact, quite the contrary.

Sharon sat down one afternoon and closed the door.

“You don’t even know us,” she said. “I bet you don’t even know that Alex has gotten engaged. Do you even care about us?”

Are you connected with your own team?

How do you know?

You can imagine that I was crushed. My introvertish nature coupled with a high drive for results had been seen as aloof and uncaring – far from the truth.

The effects of not being personally connected with your team can be devastating – a low level of trust resulting in poor performance and a host of other undesirable behaviors. The symptoms are such that you may blame these on the larger culture of the organization or on other external factors.

Yet, the culprit may simply be that your team doesn’t feel connected with you.

Leaders struggle with this, and we play a lot of head games.

We may want to appear in control to assure the team all is well. We may ask ourselves if being seen as vulnerable is risky to our position of being “in charge.” And some of us question the relevancy of connecting beyond the professional framework.

Yet, without humanizing ourselves, we can appear cold, uncaring, wooden, untouchable…the list goes on. Somewhere along the way, someone has taught us to appear as though we have it all together in order to reflect confidence in leadership.

Not true.

Becoming human allows others to do so – to identify with you and connect.

Human beings need to feel a sense of connectedness. This comes from knowing others on the team and feeling known and accepted as a member.

In order to have this happen, we must become real.

Highest-performing teams know this – and work on it regularly.

Here are three things you can do right away to “get personal” with your team so that you can engage with each other on a greater level:

  1. Take your teams members to lunch.

During your time together, tell them you don’t want to talk about work, but just want to get to know each other better. Have some questions ready – why did they pick France as a vacation last year? Where did they grow up – and how did this affect the way they see things today?

  1. Develop an understanding about each other’s gifts and talents.

There are some great assessments out there for this: StrengthsFinder, Enneagram, and others. Have each team member take the assessment, bring their results, and talk about how these show up in their work and life.

  1. Take some time to learn each other’s lives.

What does this mean? Who are you outside of work? What is your favorite movie? How do you handle surprises? Make up a list of questions and share the answers as part of your team-building. Do this over time – knowing each other personally should be intentional and consistent in order to create bonds and connectedness.

Have fun with this. It has become a joy for me personally to connect with others in this way and to develop deep relationships.

As a bonus, when people feel you care about them, they also care about you. When the going gets tough, the team will pull together in a new and more concerted way to succeed.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.