The Problem with Women Rising Above

Monkey See, Monkey Do

You probably remember the old saying, “Monkey see, monkey do!”

The reference to monkeys is because researchers have noted that when one monkey sees another monkey do something, it quite often does likewise. So we use this old saying when describing the foolishness of one person mimicking another without thinking.

And although you may think that this occurs only with children, or because of a lack of sound reasoning skills, there is actually a scientific explanation as to why all of us do this to a certain extent without knowing it.

In fact, your ability to lead is probably being affected right now.

How can you identify where this is happening, and stop it from compromising your effectiveness?

First, it’s necessary to understand why we copy each other without realizing it.

We are social beings, and Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy has been revised in recent years to reflect that at the foundation of the pyramid is the need to belong. This means that we are wired and hungry to connect and collaborate as a part of a larger body or group.

To help us do just that, our brains are actually wired to act as “social glue” so that we can empathize and connect. Researchers have observed that the mirror neurons, specialized cells in the brain, facilitate this at a subconscious level.

The problem is, that as we seek to connect, empathize, and to belong, we can meld into larger group dynamics. We can blend into the tribe without realizing it and adopt behaviors and mindsets that don’t serve us well.

Think about it. Reflect on the five people with whom you surround yourself on a daily basis. Not necessarily those with whom you feel a particular closeness, but people with whom you are in contact, such as colleagues, co-workers.

A quick assessment will show you whether you are in the right place or not:

1. Where are members of your group headed – somewhere, or nowhere? Are these people action-oriented and goal-focused, or are they wishing and hoping their career or life would change?
2. How do these people govern themselves? Are they values-driven, directional, and proactive – or reactive to and blaming the world around them?
3. What does the group language reflect? Is there a positive tone, or one of negativity?
4. What does the group focus reveal? Is the focus on the world around them and how to contribute to make it even better – or are they playing “auditory sitcom,” where they talk mainly about other people and situations?
5. Who is the weakest link in the chain within the group? Surprisingly, this is the one who has the most power to hold the group right where it is – stuck.

If, after diligent assessment, you see room for improvement, as yourself – what are you going to do about this? You can either sink back into complacency – or move the needle by making some game-changing choices.

Up to you – what’s your next move?

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Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.