Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

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How to Instantly Influence Others and Make a Difference

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How to Instantly Influence Others and Make a Difference
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“Be the change you want to see in the world.” ~ Gandhi

Recently, I worked with a group of new managers to help them make change at their company. Eager to learn and grow, people of all ages and backgrounds filled the room.

It was heartwarming to be with them and witness lot of candor, laughter, and strengthening bonds as they shared. These people were committed.

Here is one thing I never heard: a disparaging remark. I didn’t hear about a lack of resources or time. I never heard things like, “Oh, those Millennials/Boomers/Leadership/Others – I don’t know how to work with them.”

What I heard, instead, was a desire to make change. “How can I be at my very best? How can I grow in my leadership so I can make a bigger difference?”

Now, that’s a room full of people that anyone would be privileged to work with!

Here are the three questions I asked them in return. I shared that the answers to these questions are what would make or break their ability to influence and make a difference.

How are you doing in these three areas?

  1. Are you walking your talk?

Are there places in your leadership where you are preaching, but not practicing?

Maybe you are asking others to go the extra mile, produce more without overtime pay, take better care of themselves, produce top quality work on time – fill in the blank!

But you yourself secretly lack being able to meet success in that area. This is not uncommon – the very thing we want to see in ourselves is what we ask others to do well. If this is you, you are responsible for course-correcting this so that you are the change you want to see.

  1. Are you modeling to others by taking the first step?

Are you great at delegating work to others, but not as good at jumping in to roll up your own sleeves in times of stress?

I remember delegating very well during a huge event, and walking around at a tense moment to see how things were progressing. I looked across the room to see the company president unloading boxes with one of my reports. That was a humbling moment that shifted my understanding of true leadership.

  1. Are you taking ownership of how you contribute?

When was the last time you sat down with a colleague or report and asked the question, “How am I doing?”

This should be a regular conversation. “What can I do more of or less of, in order to do a better job of working with you?”

My clients report that this conversation has brought forward valuable information they might never have uncovered otherwise. “It has shifted the way I am able to work with others,” said one business owner. “We are a team now – not just a group of people in a room.” That’s a change!

As you look at these three areas, which one speaks most to you? What is the one shift you are committing to make so that you can influence others to a larger extent and make a greater difference?

Getting Your Bold On

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Are You a Gambler or a Calculated Risk-Taker?

There’s a fine line between taking a calculated risk and being a reckless gambler – and you can win or lose big, either way. However, in today’s business world, it is necessary to take risks in order to remain competitive and ahead of the game.

How do you do it so you don’t lose your shirt?

Whether you are an executive, business owner, or other professional, risk-taking is a key factor in your ability to lead yourself and others into the future. It affects your direction, decision-making, choices, and actions. It is the difference between becoming a Vera Wang or Elon Musk – or a Jane Doe or Joe Blow.

Can you become a calculated risk-taker – and win?

Deborah Perry Piscione, author of Risk Factor, says yes. Piscione, a member of former congressional and White House staff, as well as a media commentator for several key news channels, now supports some of the greatest risk-takers in Silicon Valley where technology history is made. She and some of her colleagues have conducted research that reveals the “DNA” of bold risk-takers, and they have discovered several key attributes – all of which can be cultivated.

These traits include such things as refusing to accept the status quo, being in touch with a much greater purpose in life, valuing talented people and understanding how and when to collaborate with them, and being able to effectively execute an innovative idea or direct others as they do it.

Indeed, in my coaching practice, I’ve observed 5 ways accomplished risk-takers differentiate themselves from gamblers:

risk_chart

But at the foundation of all of this is to have a lower level of fear than most people, or even an absence of fear. Because it is fear that keeps us from considering those decisions and actions that are outside of the box, and that will take our business and career from safe and small to extraordinary.

So we tell ourselves that people must just be born with a risk-taking quotient, and that it doesn’t run in our family. This is our excuse for removing ourselves from the equation. We then step back into our ordinary space, playing it safe and small, while others take the leaps and celebrate the rewards.

However, risk-taking isn’t a genetic trait – it’s acquired. You can, at any age, acquire the tools, skills, and knowledge to become a calculated risk-taker, and learn to avoid the pitfalls of those encountered by the reckless gambler.

So it’s back to confronting and overcoming the fear, because the approach to risk-taking can be learned. I’ll be writing about a specific method I use with clients to do this in my next article.

But meanwhile, what fear is holding you back from getting what you want?  And how do you move past it? Join us on LinkedIn to share, and for more discussion.

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Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.