purpose

Building Influence – Making Emotional Connections

July 5, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Have you ever been in a situation where you wish you had greater persuasive powers?

A situation on a flight reminded me about some of the critical steps we need to take to enjoy more influence with others.

I took an early plane to the Northwest to spend time with family on the Puget Sound. Looking forward to a quiet flight, I encountered, instead, two co-workers across the aisle who were in a heated exchange.

One gentleman, Frank, was insistent that the other “take a look at the numbers – the numbers speak for themselves!” But this was not having the desired effect on his seatmate, who sounded frazzled.

“How do I get through to you, John?” Frank finally blurted out. “It’s like talking to a brick wall!”

Have you ever felt like you were talking to a brick wall?

How do you begin to get through?

As it happens, Frank didn’t have a chance.

In fact, John turned to him and said, “Your conversation is wearing me out, Frank. I can’t listen anymore. End of story.”

I wish I could have taken Frank aside, and said this:

Frank, here’s where you could have turned this around.

You should have made an emotional connection with John to tip the scales.

Get the dopamine flowing.

Making an emotional connection is the conduit of “warm and fuzzy.” This helps people feel good and predisposed to listening, to being open to more conversation.

Instead, Frank began his conversation with, “John, I need to get you on board with this new strategy. What’s it going to take?” Diving into a selfish stance of “I need…from you” staged the failure.

Frank could have paved the way to a successful conversation by something like, “John, how was your weekend? Do anything special with the family?” or, “John, what project are you working on right now that is especially rewarding?”

When you connect in this way, it stimulates the pleasure-reward area of the brain – the “feel good” area. You are showing people you care about them in a genuine and personal way.

When you do this, people feel you are interested, and they feel heard as you listen. They tend to want to reciprocate, and will ask you some personal things, as well. This sets the stage as common ground.

It changes the other person’s attitude from one of “what do you want from me,” to “what are we looking at together?”

If you want to influence people, you need to make and strengthen that emotional connection, not only throughout the conversation, but in your relationship in general.

With whom do you have an important relationship that needs more emotional connection?

What impact are you having in life and business?
Click below to take the complimentary Impact Assessment.

http://inspireinfluenceimpactquiz.com/

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Are You Sure You Want to Be a Leader?

June 28, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Commit

What do you need in order to become a leader? And are you sure you really want to be one?

If you are reading this, I imagine you’ve already weighed the pros and cons, and the argument for at least considering the possibility has won.

As an executive coach, I work with decision-makers who lead. These people quite often have substantial areas of responsibility, and they work with me to become even more effective as they seek to do great things.

As we begin our work, I explain to my clients that our work will be 3-pronged. In other words, there are three things we need work with in order to accomplish their goals. You see, the human being is an intricate system, and the major parts of this system must work together closely to accomplish any significant change.

So, if you and I were having coffee together right now, and you told me that your goal was to become a leader, or a more effective one, I would tell you that we are going to assess the following three parts of you to identify what you need to shift in order to get there:

Your mindset
Your actions
Your behaviors

Allow me to set the stage by giving an definition of these three, even though they appear self-explanatory (thanks for indulging me!).

Mindset is not how your physical brain works – it’s how you use your brain to formulate thoughts, synthesize information, define your beliefs, your attitude, and thus, your approach to the world. Mindset drives your desires, your motivation, and your picture of “what’s possible.”

Example: Sonni has managed people for many years, and she believes she can lead the company. She desires to do so, and decides to take the steps necessary to move up this career path. She has weighed her desire against her safety and decided that she won’t get fired or other disastrous consequences. So far, so good. Sonni has asked herself, “What’s possible?”

Actions are those movements, that energetic activity you undertake, once decide to “do something.” These are driven by your desires and your motivation. Your actions are confined to what you believe is possible, what is comfortable, and what is safe (thus dictated by mindset). Even if your mindset says that something is possible, your behaviors may thwart the success of your actions.

Example: Back to Sonni…because of her desire to move up into leadership, she decides to take the action of asking her CEO to be considered for the leadership succession plan. It has taken a lot of courage to get to this point, but her mindset has opened the gate for her to ask. So far, so good. Sonni has taken the action she needs in order to register her desire and be considered.

Behaviors are how you react to internal or external stimuli in various circumstances. These behaviors are exhibited after your mind assesses your desires versus your safety. Safety always wins.

Example: Sonni’s CEO tells her she has a lot of work to do if she wants to be considered for the leadership succession plan. Frankly, her CEO shares, Sonni isn’t seen as CEO material and this comment comes as a surprise. The CEO explains that Sonni doesn’t show the kinds of behaviors needed for leadership – collaboration, building trust, strong presence, influence. And a few other things. Sonni retreats to her desk. She now has a choice – to tell herself she really doesn’t have what it takes (that dastardly doubt that mindset brings when negative emotions threaten its safety) – or to ask herself “What’s possible?” while remaining safe, to shift the necessary behaviors in order to be considered for higher leadership in the company’s succession planning.

Now back to you, and those three questions to ask yourself before you commit.

Does your mindset need to explore what else is possible, or to strengthen belief in your own abilities and potential?
Do your actions tell the world that you are actually showing up as a leader?
Do your behaviors reflect who you want to become?

Which of these three areas do you need to shift in order to become a leader – or a better one?

What impact are you having in life and business?
Click below to take the complimentary Impact Assessment.

http://inspireinfluenceimpactquiz.com/

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

5 Tips to Mentor Your First-Time Manager

June 14, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Mentoring Others to Take Charge

Your new manager is a talented individual. If they were not, you would not have hired them. Even though a new manager has excelled in their previous position, they may not yet have acquired the skills of managing people to meet success in the new role.

If you don’t jump in to provide mentoring and guidance, you’ll be losing much more than face. Around 60% of new managers fail. And you’ll recall that when a new manager does not work out, you will lose an average of 6-9 months of their salary in replacing them (recruitment, training, team productivity, and more), as well as a lot of time and energy. This means that if your person is making $40,000 per year, you will lose between $20,000-$30,000 in the process.

This is a much bigger ticket than investing in some sound managerial training for new managers, which usually costs around $2,000.00.

I have heard from many who tell me of their bad experiences with supervising new promotions. One of the top concerns you’ve expressed is how to help new managers adjust to managing people by displaying authority in an effective way.

How do you help your new manager learn to show how to lead – the right way?

Leaders have reported seeing some pretty sad and frustrating behaviors as the new manager attempts to assert their role – all the way from apologetic language and cloudy directives to arrogance and micro-managerial tones and approaches. Many new promotions want to assure their team members that they are still friends. Others feel they need to divorce themselves from the pack to lead. Neither is right. And the fallout from either approach is severe.

Learning to manage people takes time and experience.

Here is a 5-step checklist you can use to help your new manager to begin, and to reflect a healthier way of showing authority:

1. Teach them to set clear expectations.

As the leader, you have no doubt drawn up an action plan for the department with goals, measurables, and key milestones. Ask your new manager to review this, and to define expectations for their reports. Have them work with you to do this a few times so that they receive the benefit of your coaching. Helping a new manager go through this exercise will flex their ability to see the large picture and the moving pieces that help to compose it. It will also give you a sense of where they will need additional support as they gain greater understanding.

2. Teach them to be proactive.

Talk to them about setting up regular meetings with each of their reports to review expectations and to set up a system for each to report back to them on a regular basis. This one move will help to minimize the tendency for the new manager to micromanage since they will know when to expect the reports, and will also allow a private forum in which they can explore with team members what motivates each, how they can best lead, and to answer any concerns or questions.

3. Teach them to deal with conflict in a timely manner.

Conflict should not be allowed to take over, or it will decimate the department. It must be addressed in a timely manner, and your new manager needs to learn to handle it well by separating out emotions, stories, and issues. Further, what seems to be an issue may really be a symptom. For more on how to get to the real issue and help them develop their problem-solving skills, see the article “Taking Your Problem-Solving from Good to Great: The Missing Step.”

4. Teach them to be even-handed.

Help them to be fair in the way they deal with requests such as raises, bonuses, additional resources, and other perks. Show them how to evaluate requests by leaning on policy, procedure, and performance. This will help them to avoid team members who beg favoritism based on past relationships or future promises. It will also help them to support their decisions as they provide these opportunities to those who merit them.

5. Teach them to role model leadership.

They may not know it yet, but everyone is watching. Your new manager got the promotion, and others are curious to see whether they deserve it. They are wondering whether they can trust following them based on what they see in their decisions and actions. Is your new manager coming in late because they are now salaried and feel they have a license? When they have their lunch with the same team members on most days, does this send the wrong message to others? These are things we as leaders know will inhibit our ability to be trusted. A new manager should have that judgment, but some still need the guidance.

Think back to your earlier days when you were a new manager. What was the best advice you received that helped you establish success?

What impact are you having in life and business?
Click below to take the complimentary Impact Assessment.

http://inspireinfluenceimpactquiz.com/

Patti Cotton helps executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and the enterprise. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, succession planning, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, leadership development, succession planning, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Will You Be the 1%?

May 31, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Taking Your Performance and Future to the Top

A close member of the family (and president of his own company) just sent me a great article on the 1% – how acquiring a 1% advantage over one’s competition can accumulate into significant advantages. In it, the author said that, “those who are one percent better rule their respective fields and industries” (James Clear, The 1-Percent Rule).

The author is right. And it starts and ends with you as leader. Strategies and tactical moves to excel will always need to shift with changing trends. Ways of delivering service or product will morph. This means that what works today will not necessarily work tomorrow. So, in order to keep your leadership and your enterprise at the top, you need to master your ability to lead amidst ambiguity and complexity.

The problem is that most leaders aren’t aware of this. Staying on top of trends and seeking out what is new and what is working is only half the equation. The other half is cultivating a more expansive mindset to deal successfully with constant change.

It’s just like learning how to hike. You can buy all the right hiking equipment, research best techniques, plot your course, and show up at the foot of the trail. However, if you don’t build up the personal muscle and stamina through the careful mental and physical training you need to actually get to the top, you won’t get anywhere.

Personal growth is uncomfortable for most of us. And if your leadership is effective today, it’s difficult to understand that this same leadership will not suffice tomorrow.

One of my newer clients whom we will call John, has a clear sense of mission and purpose that he has successfully imparted throughout the company. Even amidst competing priorities and perspectives, he remains aligned with who he is and what he is about, and this has served the organization well.

Right now, John’s company is ranked as #2 in its industry, and John wants to be #1. He wants to be part of the 1%. The problem is, even though John has doubled the size of the company within the last 2 years and captured a great deal of market share, he has also become inflexible with his staunch principles and values. In fact, when it comes to dealing with new, complex situations, it is a great internal struggle for John when he asked to revisit these in light of new situations or information.

Fortunately, John is very self-aware and ready to become even more effective in his leadership. Increasing his ability to be more effective in new and challenging situations will allow him to lead more expansively – leading himself, others, and the enterprise into the future.

What about you?

Where do you need to grow in order to become part of the 1%?

And if you don’t know, how will you discover your “growing edges” so that you meet the future successfully?

What impact are you having in life and business?
Click below to take the complimentary Impact Assessment.

http://inspireinfluenceimpactquiz.com/

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Are You an Empty Power Suit?

May 24, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Losing Your Sense of Purpose

I’m writing from backstage at the San Jose Convention Center where I’ll be addressing female engineers who aspire to greater leadership (IEEE Annual Conference).

As I review my notes, it makes little sense to rehash where we are not and why systems fail women in the workplace. Instead, I’ll be focusing on our own responsibility in reclaiming the talents we possess and the purpose imperative. You see, without a sense of purpose, both men and women fall prey to what I call “Empty Power Suit Syndrome.”

If you suffer with this syndrome, you are probably experiencing a lack of motivation at work and maybe even heading toward burnout.

Are you a victim of this? Whether you are male or female, you may find yourself focusing too much on how you execute and the effectiveness of your presence – rather than drawing from the fuel that purpose can provide.

Is this you – or one of your reports?

You mentally check yourself – your body language and your power words – when you are in the room with others to make sure you are conveying a sense of confidence and power
You feel like you are in a vicious cycle of task lists and reaching big goals without a sense of satisfaction
You think a lot about image – powerful first impressions and follow-up – this is on your mind a lot

If you are doing any of these, or you are preoccupied with thoughts like how to stay in front of the other salmon swimming upstream, then it’s time to stop.

It’s time to remember your purpose – the larger reason you do what you do.

Why is this?

Purpose fuels us. It motivates and engages us as we work toward a larger picture. It also removes the focus from ourselves to what’s important – what we are contributing to make great things happen.

Purpose gives us the ability to see our direction more clearly and strategically so that we are more effective in execution.

If we are motivated, engaged, focused on our direction with clarity, and effective in executing our responsibilities, then we have accomplished the things that help us to make impact. Confidence soars. We stand out naturally for the right reasons. And we make the world a better place.

Why am I waxing eloquent on this today?

We have gotten lost. The rat race to get ahead is providing me with a lot of clients who are burned out and disenchanted with work. Some have quit, and others are thinking of leaving. And a lot of it stems from a long road of Empty Power Suit Syndrome – trying to prove how good they are against the competition so they can get ahead.

Want to get ahead?

Get purpose. Put it in front. Keep it there. I promise your entire work life will change for the better.

And the world will thank you for it.

What impact are you having in life and business?
Click below to take the complimentary Impact Assessment.

http://inspireinfluenceimpactquiz.com/

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.