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Is Your Personal Mission Holding the Company Back?

February 8, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

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You have a clear sense of mission, and you are values-driven. And because of these, you’ve contributed great things to your organization or business.

But lately, you’ve sensed some tension. As the company continues to grow, you are getting directives from the top, and they don’t align with what you know to be working. Further, others on the team are jostling around with some ideas that are outside the box.

What’s wrong? Do these people just not know how to stick with a plan? What’s the problem?

Cynthia called for my help when she intuited that her team was restless. “I’m getting a lot of pushback about our annual plan,” she said. “It’s worked quite well for us and I’m not about to let a couple of people who want more power upset things.”

“Tell me more, Cynthia,” I countered. “Are these two team members the only ones pushing back?”

“Well, no,” she admitted. “My board has brought in some out-of-the-box ideas lately – but you know how boards are – they read something or hear something, and suddenly it’s the answer to everything. But it’s happening more and more.”

I did a little more investigating and learned that, six years prior, Cynthia had been first pick for this leadership role. She had shown herself adept at putting a team and plan together that produced amazing results wherever she was assigned, and had been promoted three times within the last 10 years because of this prowess. Each time, she reached or exceeded the goals set for her.

But in this new role, Cynthia had found a breaking point. Her ability to lead team and satisfy top leadership was diminishing. Even though she was firm in her own ability to succeed, the feedback she was getting was frustrating.

After carefully talking through where the company was headed and how she approached her work, we sat down together.

“Cynthia, I’d like for you to remain open to what I have to say, so that we can explore this together. You’ve succeeded in a lot of areas within this company and at others. You have a great ability to form a team and a plan and to produce extraordinary results. But you have hit a roadblock. It isn’t your team. And it isn’t your board.”

“Are you saying it’s me?” Cynthia looked shocked.

“Well…here is what I’m observing. You are accomplished, you know what you are about, you are confident in handling whatever is thrown your way. You’ve always had a clear sense of personal mission that has done great service to the organization well. This has served you well up to recent times – but it’s now getting in your way. It looks like you are having trouble dealing with some of the complex cross-cultural situations the company is now facing due to expansion in China and Europe. And it appears that this tension is due to a firm attachment to your personal mission.”

“My personal mission?”

“Yes, your personal mission. Cynthia, you have a clear picture of who you are and what you are about. You have a firm direction and lead from a set of wonderful values. The problem is, the company has grown more complex, and your personal mission – the picture of how you will lead and deal with issues – has been left behind.

Cynthia looked stunned. “Are you calling me inflexible?”

“Let’s just say that we need to work on your leadership agility,” I countered. “This is not uncommon. In a complex, changing business world, acquiring agility is key. You are fielding a lot of changes, both culturally and organizationally. And you deserve to step into more success.”

Leadership agility is the ability to take effective action in complex, rapidly changing conditions. It requires that we let go of what has worked in the past, and ask ourselves what will work, now. It requires stepping out of an “expert mindset” and into that of a “learner mindset.”  It means asking questions, being open to different perspectives.

Agility requires that you are able to see connections everywhere, looking at an issue from multiple angles and seeing the ways that different perspectives overlap. This exercise in itself opens the mind to seeing more possibility. Or more simply put, you get yourself out of the weeds in order to see more clearly.

Have you been called inflexible, or is your leadership being questioned lately?

It may be time to revisit your belief around your personal mission – how you will lead process, involve others, produce, and all other aspects of your leadership.

For more on developing leaders for a complex world, see Jennifer Garvey Berger’s book, Changing on the Job:  Developing Leaders for a Complex World


Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Executives, Monkeys, and Leadership

January 18, 2017 By Patti Cotton 1 Comment

3 Habits That Can Change Your Potential

As a little girl, I was fascinated by a brass statue positioned on my father’s bookshelf. This statue was comprised of three monkeys sitting next to one another – one had his hands over his eyes, one with his hands over his mouth, and the third placing his hands over his ears.

My father explained that these three monkeys were called “the Wise Monkeys,” and represented the old saying, “See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil.” They were a reminder to conduct ourselves wisely and appropriately.

This sounded rather virtuous. I was satisfied with this explanation as one that was a directive as to how to be a good person. Indeed, I still believe this.

However, I later discovered that this same adage, teased out in modern application, is actually a hidden key to succeeding – or failing – in one’s leadership.

The three original wise monkeys, along with a later-emerging fourth, hold the key to succeeding – or failing – in one’s leadership growth.

Here’s a quick check-in to see where you might want to up-level the way you currently lead:

1. Mizaru – see no evil – or, use a better lens!

  • What are you reading or watching?

Everything you put into your brain influences your thought patterns and focus. Are you feeding your brain with material that educates and provokes to help you grow, or are you binge-watching B-roll or reading cheesy novels?

  • What assumptions do you make as you observe others?

Are you making assumptions of others based on partial information, or are you asking the question, “What else might be part of the picture that I do not see?”  Do the homework.

  • What lens do you use as you approach the world?

Are you stopping at the facts in front of you, or do you seek to make connections, using deeper-level thought processes? In other words, are you simply taking in facts without asking yourself how these facts affect you, others, and the world? Expanding your leadership means making these important connections.

 

2. Kikazaru – hear no evil – or, don’t listen to junk.

  • Do you quietly stew over past criticisms received?

High-performing leaders consider the source and either make necessary shifts to change, or discard the information as invalid and not useful. Stewing is repeating the same thoughts over and over again, and takes up valuable brain space. Stop stewing – do something about it.

  • Do you receive gratification from listening to gossip or bad news?

If you are, this is a bad sign that your leadership is predicated on seeing others’ failure as your success. If you think you are right all the time, you are wrong. And if others continue to tell you that you are always right, your leadership is either based on the fear of others, or you are working in an unhealthy, sub-par culture that allows this.

  • Do you consider your sources as you listen to what is happening in your organization, in the world?

I’m continuously shocked at how highly-intelligent professionals will make assumptions and decisions based on poor or impartial information. This has consequences. Enough said.

 

3. Iwazaru – speak no evil – or, stop the perpetuation of rubbish.

  • Who do you say you are to yourself?

What stories are you holding on to, that keep you from stepping into better leadership? Are you harboring any negative self-talk, no matter how seemingly insignificant? Are you secretly in a stagnant comfort zone because what has worked before should still continue to work now? Think, again. Things are changing rapidly, and continuing to work on your personal leadership is required to stay professionally viable.

  • How are you connecting with others through conversation?

Are you taking the time to connect personally to strengthen relationships and get things done? Or are you using e-mail and texting as quick fixes to move ahead? If you sense you are out of touch with your colleagues and reports, it’s time to re-establish connections through thoughtful, eye-to-eye conversations – the only way to establishing empathy and trust. Looking to better your relationships, influence and followership? This is the first step.

  • How are you using social media?

This may seem a superficial question for today’s topic, but it’s really key. What are you messaging? What are you sharing? What does this say about you? I recently began work with an executive preparing for a vice-presidential position in her company. Guess what I asked her to clean up first? That’s right. It was actually shocking to her to look back and see what she had “liked” and forwarded. What do your social media messages say about you?

 

4. Shizaru – do no evil – or, do good!

  • Your habits are what make or break you.

Which one is holding you back? Lack of exercise or balance? Procrastination? Avoiding conflict? Neglecting significant relationships? Take a careful assessment of your work and life and (1) ask where you could be further ahead; and (2) what you are doing that is keeping you from moving forward. You’ll identify the habit or behavior right there.

  • You are the composite of your current relationships and associations.

Take a survey. Who do you aspire to be? Get that image locked firmly in your mind. Then, ask yourself who the 5-10 people are, with whom you surround yourself (with whom you have the most contact)? Are these people “there” with where you want to be in morals, values, lifestyle, habits, and focus? What relationship needs to change, and when will it be important enough for you to make it so?

  • What legacy are you creating?

The way you lead and the work you contribute are no doubt positive. But when was the last time you really thought about this, and actually tried to measure the impact of your leadership and professional contributions? Select 1-2 trusted associates or mentors and ask the question. The answer may not be readily apparent in the initial conversation, but the exercise is really to help you refocus on the end goal. Why do you do what you do?


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Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

 

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Why You Need Your Emotions for Rational Decision-Making

November 16, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

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We spend a lot of our lives learning to master emotions. Sometimes they overcome us, and we goof things up. So we try to discount them or put them aside in an effort to be more rational in our decisions and actions.

But discounting or ignoring emotions isn’t really mastering them. You need your emotions in order to make your best decisions. Sound counter-intuitive?

In my work with high-potential female executives, I find quite often that these women have shut off their emotions, feeling these get in their way. Often, they have been told they were being too emotional in a certain situation, or they have found themselves overwhelmed with feelings when confronting a critical scenario, and it kept them from moving forward. Somehow, these women decided to shut off the “feeling part” of themselves in order to execute and get ahead.

Bad move.

Emotions are meant to trigger or alert you to something. When you ignore these, negative consequences are in store, not only for yourself, but for the way you are able to work with others, and ultimately succeed.

So how do you manage your emotions so that they actually help you get ahead?

There are three steps to managing and bridging your feelings so you can support your best thinking and actions:

1. Recognize the emotion you are feeling in a situation.

This may sound easier than it is. I once coached Sandy, a member of her company’s C-Suite, who could only name two emotions that she felt – anger and fear. Because of this, she continuously operated from the “fight or flight” part of her brain – high stress, and low reasoning. As a result, her decision-making suffered. We spent a couple of months helping her to identify and expand her lexicon of emotions as I coached her on how to handle specific situations. Why? Emotions are “gut triggers.” It means, “Hey, something is up, here! Pay attention!” This allowed her to move from a “fight or flight” mode to the reasoning part of her brain.

2. Decide how you want to manage the emotion.

Recognizing what emotion you are experiencing in a certain situation allows you to ask yourself how you would like to handle it. Just because someone has angered you doesn’t mean you need to express your anger. It means, instead, that you can ask yourself why you are experiencing this, whether it comes from a bias or is relevant and appropriate to the situation, and what you want to do behaviorally because of your reflection. This process puts you in charge. Once Sandy could identify the emotion she was feeling in a certain situation, she was able to reason more effectively, asking herself what this emotion was telling her, and whether this was viably related to the decision or situation at hand.

3. Allow your emotional self to collaborate with your rational self.

When you have checked in with yourself as to why you are feeling a certain emotion, where it comes from, and how you want to handle the emotion, you have made space for your rational self to join at the table. Having recognized how you are feeling, what the emotion is telling you, and deciding how you want to handle the emotion, you can now ask yourself to identify the real issue at hand so that you can resolve it most effectively. Sandy discovered that a colleague had undermined her to her staff. When she stopped to recognize how she felt about this, how she wanted to manage it, she then felt much more in control of how she dealt with the situation. Instead of operating from her “hot buttons” as she would have done in the past, she was able to discuss the issue calmly with him, and worked to resolve things.

How do emotions affect the way you work? Join us for our LinkedIn discussion and share!


Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Three Ways to Make It Easier to Succeed in 2017

November 9, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

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Are you going to succeed in reaching all of your goals this year?

Most of you are reviewing your 2016 goals, and wondering how you can make a mad dash to the finish line. And you are probably asking yourself two questions:

1. Can you do it and keep your sanity, and

2. How can you make 2017 easier?

I know this, because many of you are e-mailing and calling me.

Whether you will reach your goals this year or not, it still feels like a big push to December 31st. And you are tired of feeling pressured to do more at the busiest time of year.

Are you ready to make things easier in 2017? It’s not too early to begin shifting your planning and thinking – if you want to feel more ease and spaciousness the next time around.

Here are three ways many fine executives and other professionals unwittingly make it harder for themselves to achieve their goals – and how you can do differently.

1. You recycle this year’s plan by simply putting next year’s date on it.

The obvious question here, is, did the plan work well for you? If it didn’t, why not? What needs to change or shift? Are you blaming external causes? Using poor strategies? Or are you unable to stay on track due to other factors? If you haven’t met all of your goals, don’t make the mistake of just changing the date on the document to 2017 and try, again. Instead, reset goals according to where you are now, what you have learned, and best strategies that work for you. Then ask yourself what got in the way this year, and decide how you will handle this. Because things won’t change if you don’t change them.

2. You haven’t cut the energy-wasters and other riff-raff out of your life.

You know what I mean – all the stuff that is getting in your way. Some of what you are consumed with is outside your control, and you are still allowing it to take headspace. This will keep you from your best performance. Other things you may have allowed to get in the way of meeting your goals are commitments you have made to projects or relationships that aren’t really positive or fruitful. Do a quick analysis of what has been getting in your way – and make some hard decisions.

3. You aren’t investing in yourself.

This is something I see in more women than men. Why? Women are prone to investing in ourselves last – putting the company, causes, and our families before taking care of the instrument that generates income. Yet, best-kept secret – in various studies, up to 80% of successful male executives have an executive coach to help them get to that next level. Here are two main reasons you haven’t invested in yourself:

      1. You secretly don’t think you are worth the investment. I have a “Judge Judy” response to this: either stop wasting your time setting goals that are impossible for you with this present mindset – or get some help to bring your self-worth up to a healthy state so that you can get what you want and enjoy it. Don’t let failure and “wish I had” become main threads of your story.
      2. You feel you can succeed by yourself, and do it very well. You don’t invest in yourself because you don’t think you need any help. I have one question: how has this approach been working for you? Are you where you want to be? Or is it costing you too much to get there, in emotional energy, relationships, family? What would it be like to succeed and enjoy the ride?

Successful executives and other professionals invest in themselves because they want to step up into that next level of success, and do it with ease and joy. They are ready to make the journey worth the effort.

Are you excited about 2017? What will you do differently to enjoy the ride and succeed? Join us on LinkedIn to share, and for more discussion.


Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

When You’ve Lost Your Way

October 26, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

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Rediscovering the True North of Your Leadership

Leading in your life and work has its hazards. There is much to do – busy demands, managing much.

Sometimes, a talented professional has reached a certain modicum of success, but discovers that she has not reached her full potential – and she doesn’t really know why.

She feels stalled.

She has lost her leadership compass – her true north.

If you have ever reached this point, or you find yourself in a destructive or unethical pattern, feeling trapped and confused, be encouraged! There’s a way out.

I coach two kinds of female executives and professionals:  high achievers, and high potentials. They engage me because they have reached a certain success, and now they are ready for more.

Lately, women from both groups have been coming to me for help because they are stalled at some point in their career or in their outcomes. I call this situation a mid-life conflict, and it is the outcome of a sort of unwitting self-sabotage. This conflict happens when a talented individual works at such a fast and furious pace over time to produce exceptional results. By adopting this mode as a permanent way of “doing” to the point that she also adopts it as a permanent way of “being,” she becomes constantly reactive instead of responsive. As she isolates herself and hyper-focuses on only work, the demands keep coming. The goals continue to rise. Over time, this dynamic erodes her personal leadership and her sense of self – the unique qualities, traits, and values that helped her to rise above the crowd to succeed in the first place.

Sheila found herself in such a situation. During the early part of her leadership, she served as executive director for a large area of responsibility.

“I focused on my performance and how much I could achieve,” she shared. “It became addicting, and I sought greater and greater rewards. But getting noticed was most important to me, because I thought I had to run fast to get to the top. This frenzy took precedent over the money I was making. If I received recognition through hitting goals, it told me I was worthy as leadership material. So I kept pushing hard.”

“That must have been a tough and stressful road,” I said. “That kind of approach can help fast-track your success to a certain point, but then you usually hit a wall.”

“How did you know?” she asked, “I feel like I’ve boxed myself into a corner, and now I’m not performing as I have in the past. Additionally, I’m not sure I’ve made many friends of my colleagues. It’s pretty lonely up here. I was so busy rising to the top, and now, I’m not sure if I can redirect this mess. Sure, I can work on the way I approach things – but my professional credibility as an emerging leader may be lost.”

Sheila’s situation was not new. She is what Bill George and Andrew McLean would call a “shooting star.”  In their article, “Why Leaders Lose Their Way,” they discuss five perils of the leadership journey, and these ultimately result in failure.

A shooting star is one that lacks “the grounding of an integrated life” (George and McLean). Their career is everything to them, and they are always on the go to get ahead. Balance is not part of their lexicon, and family, friends, and community connections suffer. As they push forward, stress mounts, and with the ever-changing marketplace, they must continue running faster. This means their pace is so rapid that they don’t allow the bandwidth or time to learn from their mistakes, resulting in stalled leadership.

Can a shooting star turn this around? Yes.

The answer lies in re-grounding.

But re-grounding not a simple case of re-balancing. It’s not just changing your tactics, scheduling some vacation time, and doing some intensive power networking. If you find yourself in a place where your present success has cost you a great deal of your life, and perhaps your professional future, then you must first tap back into the who and why of your leadership.

Because leadership means taking the lead.

Leadership is not a role or function; it’s a mindset and an intentional approach to all you undertake, accompanied by the thoughts, behaviors, and actions that support taking charge.

And being in charge means knowing who you are and what you are about. At its best, it’s coming from a platform of integrity, coming from center, so that your impact is significant.

To see this, you first need to understand what makes your leadership unique – your Leadership DNA. This is a combination of your purpose supported by your values and your natural strengths as you take action.

Then, you need to relate this Leadership DNA to the vision of the enterprise and its bottom line. And you work it. You strengthen and exercise this Leadership DNA so that you are aligned and powerful in all you do, from your focus and your direction to the actions you take, the decisions you make, and the people you affect.

Coming back from a stall-out – or better yet, avoiding one and taking your leadership to the next level, requires that you can answer the following tough questions – and know how to flex and integrate these into your being.

  1. Who are you as leader?
  2. What is your purpose?
  3. What values will you use as your compass?
  4. What fuels your best work?
  5. How does your Leadership DNA impact the organization and its bottom line?

Who are you as leader? What is your purpose?

Click over to our LinkedIn Community to share your response and join in the discussion.

 

Bill George and Andrew McLean. “Why Leaders Lose Their Way.”  Strategy and Leadership. Vol. 35, no. 3, 2007, pp. 4-11. Emerald Group Publishing Limited.


Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

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