Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

mastering

Three Reasons to Stop Focusing on Your Strengths and Weaknesses

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Three Reasons to Stop Focusing on Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Are you focusing too much on your weaknesses – or just as bad, are you focusing too much on your strengths?

You can actually arrest your own leadership development by doing so.

Here’s why:

Before the rising of the popular strengths-based coaching approach, workplace mentoring and coaching focused on helping its workforce to strengthen identified weaknesses. But we discovered after some time that the results were poor. In fact, employees were showing negative outcomes.

Focusing on weaknesses in leadership development can result in the following:

  • It can give a false sense of ineptitude and negative self-image. By giving weaknesses too much attention, the executive in question may begin to feel inept. Little discussion is made about what is going well, and so a negative self-image may begin to form, diminishing confidence.
  • By neglecting to bring strengths into the process, an imbalanced approach to getting the work done may actually result in an even poorer performance.
  • The weakness in question needs to be relative to the role the executive plays. Is the weakness in question hindering performance or hampering company goals? Or is it simply a result of a list that has no relevance to the job?

Face it – it’s more fun to focus on strengths! But there’s a drawback to swinging over to focusing on strengths, as well.

Focusing on strengths in leadership development can result in the following:

  • It can give the executive a false sense of competence, paving the way to neglect what might be hampering his or her best work.
  • By neglecting to address what is not working, focusing on strengths can give just as imbalanced an approach as focusing on weaknesses. In fact, focusing too much on developing a strength can actually render that strength a weakness. For example, if an executive has great ambition, developing that to the point of exaggeration can actually send wrong messages and behaviors and derail a career.
  • The strength in question needs to be relative to the role an executive plays, or it doesn’t matter how special that strength is! Is the strength key to performance? Is it aligned with company goals?

A balanced approach to your personal and professional leadership development with methodologies that are evidence-based – proven to work – is the first step.

If you are working on this to improve your performance and your career trajectory, make sure that what you are doing is actually relevant and supportive of where you are – and where you want to go!

Why Your Values Are Not Working for You

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Why Your Values Are Not Working for You

You are a purpose-driven professional. And you have a big vision.

But life and work don’t feel congruent. In fact, things are hard.

Is being purpose-driven overrated?

That depends.

You may not know how to use your values to guide your purpose. Here are three reasons why this might be happening:

1. You don’t know your values.

You have set your vision and your “why,” but you haven’t identified your core values – the GPS by which you will guide your purpose. Without this, your efforts can become misaligned. If you haven’t done this yet, click here for the exercise I use with my private clients.

2. Your values are in conflict with each other, and you don’t know how to reconcile this.

When values conflict, this means your priorities are competing with each other. This means sitting down and writing out what is important to you, and making some tough decisions. As they say, you can have it all – just not all at once.

3. You aren’t using your values to fuel your purpose.

You’ve gotten busy, and let distractions take over. You’ve neglected to check in regularly on all areas of your life to see if your priorities align with your values. Don’t feel guilty – get going. Start today.

Where in your life do you need to realign? What is your first step?

A Powerful 5-Step Planning Tool

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A Powerful 5-Step Planning Tool for Executives to Finish Strong

A Powerful 5-Step Planning Tool for Executives to Finish Strong

It’s September.

If you are an executive in charge, acting “on purpose” to guide your team or entity to this year’s finish line is crucial.

I know it’s already on your mind.

Yet September is usually when I see executives start to slide.

 They have pushed hard during the first couple of quarters, and have allowed the summer’s workplace to slow things down.

Psychologically, it’s pretty tough to pick back up after ramping up and slowing down. It can cause stress, a feeling of overload as you try to get back on track, and a sense of being behind that can follow you through December 31st.

In fact, you may feel just a wee bit tired and demotivated just reading this, because you know what I mean.

Are you ready to get in front of this so you finish the year strong, avoiding the stress and overload that comes with year-end frenzy?

It’s time to get intentional.

I can help you do that so you finish out the next quarter in a strong and productive way that helps you and your team celebrate effectiveness and achievement.

It’s something I use with my private clients, no matter what time of year, to ramp up their success.

The 5-Step Powerful Planning Tool

1. Review your business foundation.

Gather your team and review your mission, vision, and values statements. Together, these should comprise a strong and exciting philosophy that does not change. These share the inspiration, the “why” of what you do that will fuel your motivation and drive over the next 90 days. Get clear on these before proceeding to step 2.

2. Assess your progress to date.

Review your current goals and strategies. Are these currently meeting and exceeding your business objectives? How well? Refer to any milestones and benchmarks associated with them to see if you are firmly on track, or if you need to adjust or shift any approaches you take to finish out the year. Celebrate the wins, cut the losses, and above all, quickly eliminate any work associated with that which is not working. Clear the deck for your last quarter.

3. Determine your priorities for the next quarter.

What priorities rise to the top? Identify or review the initiatives and projects associated with these. If you find it difficult to triage, do a quick analysis of priorities and projects so that you don’t hang on to the misnomer that “everything is equally important.” Take the lean and mean approach so you can finish strong, allow your team to be recognized well, and save your sanity.

4. Outline your 90-day action plan.

Working a 90-day action plan is incredibly effective at keeping you and your team motivated and energized, if you will include incremental milestones and short-term wins. So, as you identify major projects and activities, responsible parties and key stakeholders, ask yourself: What are the incremental milestones we can celebrate at the end of 90 days? Where are the best short-term wins to be captured that will support longer-range goals? And finally, do a quick assessment to ensure that the plan and its tenets support the enterprise’s mission, vision, and values. This is a great team-building exercise.

5. Up-level your ability to execute.

Use this 90-day action plan to perform a “personal 360°” on your plan and yourself. Have your team do the same, and then come together to discuss so that you can best support one another.

Here are questions to ask yourself:

  • As I look to the end of this next quarter, what commitments, activities, and calendar items do I need to shift, put aside, and/or eliminate in order to accomplish the 90-day action plan’s objectives?
  • What are those personal leadership behaviors I need to adopt in order to do well?
  • What needs eliminating?
  • What needs shifting?
  • What does meeting with my team to assess progress look like?
  • And how shall we celebrate our success at the end of these next 90 days?

I hope you enjoy this process as much as have my clients. They have used this for team-building, heightening performance, productivity, and morale.

What are your biggest barriers to meeting year-end goals? How do you move past these in order to succeed?

How to Botch a Critical Conversation: A Brief Checklist

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How to Botch a Critical Conversation: A Brief Checklist
Image Credit: Shutterstock

All of us have walked away at least once in our lives from a conversation, saying, “Boy, I really blew that one!”

But a lot of times, we do it without realizing it.

What should you watch for, so that you can head off disaster?

If you find yourself in a conversation with any of the following thoughts or behaviors…think again!

  1. They can’t tell you anything you don’t already know.

    You have crowned yourself the Knowledge Expert on this topic. You are comfortable allowing the other person to speak, although you may find you want to interrupt frequently. After all, once they receive the wealth of information you hold, they will see the light. Right?

  2. Assume you know best.

    This is somewhat different than #1 – you may not have all the information, but you consider yourself a wise individual who will gather the information from your conversation partner, and then decide what should be done with it, tell the other person what to do. Hmmm…

  3. This is a chance to get your personal agenda passed.

    You get excited, realizing you can work this particular conversation around to something you need personally. It may be a decision, a favor, or something else – but you are ready to be a willing listener and supporter so that you can work this around to your own goal. It’s okay if the conversation goes a bit off topic if it leads to yours.

  4. Don’t ask questions.

    Assume you have enough information from your conversation partner, during the first round in the discussion, to make an informed decision. Further, you can guess what they are going to say, and you are busy formulating your answer while they are still speaking. Ugh.

  5. Ask too many questions.

    Here, you’ve determined you know what the topic is, and you zero in on the details “rapid-fire” style while the other person is still attempting to share. You figure you appear interested, so you continue your interrogation. Do you wonder why people abandon their conversations with you before finishing? Hmmm…

Do you or someone you know identify with any of these? If so, it’s time to do some “deep listening.” Conversation is much more enjoyable when you realize that you not only don’t know all there is to know about a subject, but that your conversation partner can bring valuable, new things to the table that can widen your perspective and open up new vistas for you.

Want to know more about deep listening?

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Influence as a Full Contact Sport

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Influence as a Full Contact Sport
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Do you remember making a giant cannonball in the deep end of the pool? That hot sun hitting your face as you ran fast to leap into the air as high as you could?

And that beautiful reward! That magic moment when you, as a human cannonball, hit that icy water to make that huge and glorious splash!

Ahhh….

That’s what I call “full contact”! Just like soccer or basketball, cannonballs require that you use your mind, spirit, and body to make big things happen.

What in the world do cannonballs and “full contact” sports have to do with increasing your influence?

Influence is also a full-contact sport.

Influence is not achieved by just relating well or being popular. And it isn’t accomplished if you only use the right words or focus on making your case the “right one.”

We previously talked about the importance of first making an emotional connection with others as you seek to influence. (If you missed it, click here).

As you make your emotional connection, you want to be “full on,” using your body as part of making your case. This means using appropriate body and eye contact.

Let’s talk eye contact, first.

Here are some types of eye contact “blunderers” who defeat their own case before they present it:

  1. The Wanderer, or, “I am looking for my point somewhere in the room.” You’ve probably encountered someone like this. While talking, their eyes and head travel around the room as though looking for an answer of some kind, or as though they are trying to locate the point they actually want to make with you. Distracting! And it says, “I am not sure about what I am presenting, here.”
  2. The Mad Hatter, or, “I’m late and preoccupied with everything but you.” This doesn’t need much explanation. I once had a boss that fiddled with his texts, looked at his computer screen, and answered the phone – all while talking to me. Message? “I’m not with you – and I’m not with anyone else. Just keep talking and I’ll keep ignoring you.” Ineffective, to say the least, and “rude” is the word that really comes to mind.
  3. The Auger, or, “I may become a hypnotist in my next chapter.” This person seems to want to see through your head, when in fact, they have probably just read an article that tells them to maintain eye contact. Maintaining eye contact is not obsessively staring into someone’s eyes.
  4. The Obsessed, or, “That imaginary spot on your shirt is fascinating.” I have been present when some people have said to others, “Hey, my eyes are up here!” Staring at something on a person’s head, shirt, or anywhere else besides their eyes is disconcerting.
  5. The Selfie Artist, or, “I love to hear myself talking.” Here, the person is staring off into space while dominating the conversation. It’s as if she loves to hear the sound of her own voice and doesn’t need anyone else in the room. Frustrating – and off-putting.

You can probably think of more ineffective eye contact styles!

Here are some basic rules of thumb for good eye contact, which tells your listener that you are engaged, present, and interested:

  • Establish eye contact right away.

This sends the message that you are fully present with the other person, and not preoccupied with other things. There’s nothing more counter-productive in a conversation – especially one destined to influence – than looking all around or continually glancing at your phone or watch, which says, “I really don’t want to be here.”

  • Hold eye contact for 4-5 seconds at a time while conversing.

Riveting your eyes on the other person, no matter what is happening, can look and feel artificial and uncomfortable. You can break a “stare” by occasionally looking down or over from your conversation partner and then resume eye contact.

  • Soften a potential stare.

Feel strange looking straight into the other person’s eyes? Try this trick: look at the outer edge of one of your conversation partner’s eye’s iris. This can help you to be more at ease and will still have the appearance of direct eye contact without staring.

And now, a word about the rest of the body language!

Here’s a very brief checklist for success:

  1. Is your body turned toward and leaning in slightly toward the other person? This says, “I’m interested and engaged.”
  2. Are your arms open and hands uncurled (as opposed to crossed arms and tightened fists!)?
  3. Standing? Stand with feet aligned under shoulders.
  4. Sitting? Feet on the floor, and not tucked under your chair. Hands and forearms loosely apart on the table in front of you, or if no table, hands lightly resting on the armrests or just above your knees.
  5. Head and eyes to the horizon! A downward-cast head angle says, “I’m not confident or sure.” An upward-swing of the head that shows the underside of your chin says, “I’m hot stuff – and I’m not sure you are!”

Again, there are more refinements for best body language, but the 5 points above should get you headed in the right direction.

In sum, if you want to have more influence with others, tell them at every interaction that you are eager, interested, and engaged with them as human beings. Make this genuine, and make it a practice – it will pay off!

In our next “chapterette” about how to gain more influence, we will be talking about asking for favors. This may seem counter-intuitive, but asking for a favor can actually predispose others to want to help you more.

Stay tuned!

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