Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

leadership

How Effective Is Your Decision-Making?

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Can you afford to make poor decisions?

I doubt many of you feel that you can. In addition to the immediate results you seek, the decisions you make today have bearing on the opportunities you enjoy tomorrow. Moreover, if you are leading others or even an entity, the decisions you make affect a great number of lives and futures.

So how do you check in to see whether your decision-making needs a tune-up?

The simple answer is to ask yourself the following questions:

  • Are you reaching your goals?
  • Are you outperforming the competition?
  • Are you influencing others at a high level?
  • Are you ready to meet the future?

Rate yourself below to see if you need a tune-up in your decision-making process.

  1. I use a well-defined process to make my decisions.
  2. I seek to identify the real problem before I begin to make a decision.
  3. I weigh the pros, cons, and risks carefully before making decisions.
  4. I include key stakeholders in the decision-making process, even if this will slow down the process or require a great deal of consensus-building.
  5. In my thought process, I tend to use language such as “how might this happen,” rather than, “this can’t happen because…”
  6. If I doubt the final decision, I stop to re-evaluate my assumptions and decision-making process.
  7. Others see me as an excellent problem-solver and seek to include me in significant decisions.

Where do you need to tune up your own decision-making process? I’d love to hear about your own experience!

Click here to join the LinkedIn discussion on this topic.

Designing Your Leadership Identity

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The Who in the What That Makes the Difference

You are taking on a greater role, and you want to excel in your leadership.  How do you do that?

Here’s the working plan to get ahead for many out there:

  • Formulate a plan. Investigate how others stepped into more leadership, and begin to do likewise.
  • Work on strengthening your leadership competencies. Take advantage of resources that help to identify which leadership competencies you want to strengthen, and work on these.
  • Develop a support system. Build a strategic network to help fast-track visibility and viability.
  • Take on projects and initiatives that showcase your leadership abilities.
  • Ask for the promotion / larger contracts / more business.

But, wait. 

Something is missing from this list.

It’s really the first thing that should happen.  It’s the very thing that will help you contribute your best work.

It’s the “who” in the equation.

Your unique leadership identity.

Who are you, and who do you need to become, in order to rise to your best leadership?

Defining this makes the difference between good leadership and great leadership.  Living the answer will help you contribute your best work.  It will keep you motivated as you work through the challenges and tests that forge greater leadership.  It will also help distinguish you from the competition.

If you haven’t taken the time to define the who, you have bypassed the one step that will set you apart as you undertake the what.  Leading with purpose, on purpose.

Here are some questions to help you begin designing your leadership identity.  You may find it useful to journal on these.

  1. What do you stand for? If you could answer one question for humanity before you leave this earth, what would it be?  Why?  And how is your work important to this?
  2. What unique value do you bring to the table? If you weren’t part of the equation in life, in work, what would be missing?  How would it affect outcomes at work, in the world?
  3. How will you use this to make a significant imprint in the world through your work? Work without purpose is fleeting and empty.  What leadership legacy do you want to be remembered for?  And what do you need to do today in order to begin?

What does your unique leadership identity look like?  Can you describe it in one or two sentences?

Click here to join the LinkedIn discussion on this topic.

What is Holding You Back from Your Big Leap?

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What's holding you back?

It May Not Be What You Think

There is a profound book by Gay Hendricks called The Big Leap. In it, he identifies a phenomenon that occurs as people reach a certain point of growth in business or in their personal lives. He calls it the “Upper Limit Problem.” It manifests itself in many forms, from worry to criticism to physical injury or illness. He lists other common manifestations.

Let’s examine the life of Teresa, for instance. Teresa has always worked hard. She started a business and, being the hard worker that she was, it took off immediately. An hour before her first major client interview, Teresa fell and injured her ankle. In immense pain, but not to be deterred, she proceeded with the meeting, and then promptly went to the hospital. It worked out well (except for the injured ankle, of course), as she landed the contract, which served as a major trajectory for her next level in business.

Several years later, she was at a second major growth point in her business. She had become much too busy to do everything herself, and the business had also outgrown her small team. About to make a major shift in her business, she fell once again. And once again, she broke her ankle.

Today, she laughs at the obvious sign of her “upper limit problem,” but does acknowledge the value in knowing it exists.

Maybe you have just been given a promotion – one that you have aspired to for a long time – but have suddenly found yourself out of sorts and being overly critical of yourself and others. Maybe you have been asked to lead a major initiative, only to find yourself battling a sudden and mysterious illness.

These are signs of an “upper limit problem,” and those are often rooted deeply in three causes.

  1. Life Experience

As an example, many of us grew up as children or grandchildren of Depression era parents or grandparents. That era had a significant impact on how people viewed work and money. Let’s say you were heavily influenced by your parents of that era, who always reminded you to work hard, save for a rainy day, and protect your money because it could be gone in an instant. Following their advice, you have worked very hard to get to a level of lucrative success, only to have a constant, nagging worry that you will lose it all somehow. This is where your upper limit problem reveals itself. When you do get a substantial raise, if you are not careful, you will sabotage yourself and lose it.

  1. Personal Confidence

If you find yourself hitting a glass ceiling over and over again, yet never being able to push beyond it, you may have a personal confidence issue that is coming across to those who are making decisions regarding placement. There are image consultants out there who can help you look good, speak well, and walk confidently into a room, but if you do not have confidence on the inside, it will reveal itself on the outside. And here’s the thing…you may not even realize it is happening.

  1. Lack of Support

There are points of change in life where we want to make the “big leap,” but we are not sure we can do it. Change is challenging. Do something now to prepare for it. Create a strong inner circle, a group of mentors and trusted confidants who will help you get past that point when you can’t do it alone. We gain strength from the confidence of others when we do not have it in ourselves.

I encourage you to think about the following question, and push yourself to answer until you get to its roots. It is a profoundly helpful exercise.

What is your upper limit problem, and where does it come from?

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I invite you to join our LinkedIn group for just this kind of support (click here). We are experienced professionals who understand what is required to make those big leaps. Join us and let us help you reach the levels you have always wanted to reach but have never been able to manifest. I look forward to having you there!

When You Get Distracted in Conversation

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3 Ways to Come Back to Center

It was definitely a tense moment for Kate. The conversation was serious, and even though she deemed it important, her mind had wandered off. What to do?

She remembered the three-step refocus exercise I had given her some time ago, and quickly put it into action. If you find yourself in trouble during a critical moment, try these steps in the order you see them here:

  1. Adjust your body to an open, forward position.

Lean in toward the person speaking, place your hands on the desk, and refocus your eye contact so that you feel riveted.

  1. Encapsulate or mirror.

If you have lost just a bit of their last thought, ask them to pause and allow you to encapsulate what they have said so far. “Hold on – let me encapsulate what we are saying so far…here’s what I hear you saying…”  Then at the point where you originally lost them, pause, and wait. They will generally pick up the thread and fill in the blank for you.

  1. Heighten your show of deep interest.

Ask a question, such as, “What else is behind that?” or “Tell me more.”

Of course, if you have lost the conversation entirely, it’s best to be honest about it. However, practice the three steps for the rest of the conversation to stay on track and to show visible interest to the other party.

When have you lost focus during a critical conversation? How did you recoup the situation? (Click here to join the conversation!)

The Gentle Art of Persuasion

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Up-leveling Your Influence Quotient:  The Gentle Art of Persuasion

“I don’t understand why it didn’t work,” my client Barbara shared. “I had a tight argument, and I’m a skilled negotiator. But I couldn’t move the needle on Don’s decision.”

“Barbara, the problem isn’t your argument – it’s your approach. You are negotiating rather than using persuasion. You aren’t going to change someone’s fundamental beliefs in an hour,” I countered.

“I can’t just give up on this – it’s too important to the business!” she said.

“Yes – I agree. What’s needed here is not negotiation – it’s persuasion.”

Barbara is not alone. Many people mistakenly try their negotiating skills when persuasion is needed. And mastering the art of persuasion is just as important as negotiation, when it comes to moving the needle and getting business results.

Negotiation and persuasion require two separate psychological processes, and depending on the situation, you may wind up using both.

Here are some key differences – and some steps to start up-leveling your skills in persuasion.

Bob Bontempo, professor of Columbia University Business School, gives a nice comparison between negotiation and persuasion. He says, “Negotiation is the mutual exchange of resources for mutual benefit, whereas persuasion is changing what someone believes about the resource or outcomes. Negotiating is usually quick, and can be expensive; persuasion is free, and takes longer to work.” 1

In other words, if you are negotiating, you can walk into a meeting and say, “Hey, can we talk? This is what I want, and I’d like to talk to you about how we make that happen.” And you can usually come to some sort of mutual decision within an hour or so.

But you can’t do that very effectively when there are high stakes involving someone’s core beliefs and convictions. For example, Decision-maker John harbors an unreasonable bias against Red Monkeys. You happen to know that by including a Red Monkey initiative in your 5-year plan, the business will generate much more revenue.

You aren’t going to change John’s mind about Red Monkeys by just walking in and saying, “I’m here to talk about how I believe that a Red Monkey initiative needs to be included in our 5-year plan, and I want to talk about how we can make that happen beginning next week.” It is not going to happen. At least, not that way.

Persuasion is a more gradual process along a continuum, made up of small movements, much like dating someone. First, you open up curiosity in the mind of the other person, you then begin to gently create consideration for other perspectives (and creating doubt in their conviction by doing so). You then generate a desire for more information, and move them along the continuum to your agenda.

Is this manipulative? Absolutely! We manipulate opinion every day. And persuasion, like any other tool, can be used for good, or for bad. Your motives are pivotal to this process, and having everyone’s best interest in mind is key.

Here are 4 keys to begin flexing your skills of persuasion to move others along.

  1. Pinpoint the common interest.

You have to be interested to be persuaded. So as you think about next steps in your encounter, identify what would pique their interest about this topic, or about shifting their belief. John is interested in meeting the goal of generating more revenue, and hasn’t yet come up with initiatives that will produce a desirable ROI.

  1. Identify what will pique curiosity or create doubt in their current conviction.

What is the other person ready to hear? What is the other person not ready to hear? John is ready to talk about generating revenue, and he is interested in exploring additional initiatives to help reach a goal. He is a risk-taker, and open to identifying those initiatives that will bring a greater ROI. He is not ready to hear about Red Monkeys yet, as one of those ideas.

  1. Make it their idea.

Ego is not a factor here; results are. “So, John, if I hear you correctly, you feel that generating more revenue in the first 18 months will fast-track our 5-year plan and allow us to expand, right? And you are willing to take a look at some initiatives to do this may be risky, but if we can prove their efficacy with other industry examples, you are willing to consider them? What naturally follows from your idea to consider new ideas that are calculated risks, is to look at those things that we may not have considered in the past – am I right in hearing this?”

  1. Ask the $3 Million Question.

I asked for $3M one time and got a ‘yes’ in 30 seconds. But was it all me, and was it all because I was standing there with the person, David, who held the power to considering the request? Absolutely not. My team and I had moved this relationship along the continuum over time. We were up against much – the entity in question had never gifted more than $1M to any one entity per year, and there were several key stakeholders to convince, as well as steps to take, to prime them to consider the request. So don’t try this question until you have a foothold into the relationship and process – but when you do, this is a great way to finally surface objections and meet them with suitable answers.

Here the question I asked: “Under what conditions would you consider a gift of $3M’?”

David, clearly surprised, stammered, “Well, we have never gifted more than $1M to any entity, and I’m not sure our board would agree to do this, and there are all kinds of legal complications to making a proposal work…  Besides, this whole process might take well up to 18 months!”

I answered, “So, David, what I hear you saying is that you and I would need to sit down and agree on terms, take it to our attorneys for review, and present it to the board, with the full understanding that the process of approval and funding may take somewhere between 12-18 months?”

“Yes – I guess so,” David responded.

“We can do that,” I said. “Let’s set a date to sit down!”

Let’s transpose this question to John’s situation. Once you have taken the preliminary steps to affirm common interest and create curiosity and doubt in John’s current plan to reach the goal; and once he has admitted he is open to considering initiatives he refused in the past, try the question…

“John, under what conditions would you consider including a Red Monkey initiative in our plan?”

John will obviously counter with objections – Red Monkeys are dangerous, they are costly, they make messes and scare children!

“So, what I hear you saying, John, is that you can see the value Red Monkey initiatives bring to other companies, but in order for this to work here, we would need to ensure that they are properly vetted, stay within budget, and are cared for and contained so we don’t risk any messes or frights. Am I right? We can do that!”

I challenge you to begin flexing your persuasive muscle, today!