Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

leaders

Why to Practice Gratitude in Restless Times

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Why to Practice Gratitude in Restless Times
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The United States is celebrating Thanksgiving. Historically, it is a cheerful and exciting kick-off to the holidays. However, this year has been full of complexity and challenges, and there are those of you reading this who are struggling with significant loss, perhaps personally and professionally.

It is important to acknowledge this and to recognize that, for many, life has been altered in a way that feels heavy and difficult. Tapping into the right resources to help provide support is key. And although we cannot possibly list every resource here that might be needed, if you are unsure as to where to turn, checking with a local county or state official’s office is a great start.

As we move forward, the practice of gratitude becomes even more important. It is not a replacement for loss, nor is this intended to dismiss confronting challenges. However, the art and science of gratitude has proven to be a life experience enhancer for many reasons, and I invite you to consider putting this to work for you.

Practicing gratitude has actually shown to be effective in many studies. In other words, research supports its positive effects.

Here are some key reasons you might want to begin a simple gratitude practice.

1. Elevate your mood and lower your stress.

The expression of gratitude is a perspective brightener. Researchers from Harvard, University of California Davis, and University of Pennsylvania have produced studies showing that people report elevated happiness as much as a month later by doing such things as keeping a gratitude journal, writing letters of appreciation, and jotting down positive memories.

The good feelings associated with performing these tasks also positively affect the hypothalamus, which controls basic bodily functions such as eating and sleeping, and dopamine, the “reward neurotransmitter.” And if you receive positive acknowledgment from someone else in this way, it operates on your brain in a similar way. This means better sleep habits, well-being, and health.

Imagine what this can do in the workplace!

2. Motivate those around you – and make the world a better place.

Integrating a practice of gratitude affects those around you. It is a great motivator, both at home and in the workplace.

A study performed by professors Grant and Gino on the merits of gratitude and its effects on motivating prosocial behavior emphasizes this point. Researchers divided participants into two groups and asked them to make fundraising calls to solicit alumni donations. One group followed the traditional method of making calls while another group was given a speech by the director of annual giving, who expressed gratitude for their efforts. The group who received the pep talk made 50% more fundraising calls than those who did not.

3. How do you begin? Here are a few tips.

  • Express gratitude daily.

Keep a journal and simply jot down three things for which you are thankful each morning. Over time, this has been shown to help redirect a person’s perspective in a more positive manner throughout the day. Write thank-you notes when you recognize your appreciation of others. Make a phone call to share your gratitude of others with them. Human beings need connection and acknowledgment more than ever before during these tumultuous times.

  • Celebrate small wins as well as large ones.

Look for the small nuggets of “good” and count your blessings. What do you take for granted each day that is really a luxury? Who do you appreciate for who they are – and not for what they do?

  • Seek out the unsung heroes.

There are many in our circles who, through their faithfulness and steady commitment, continue to make the world a better place. Note these. Let them know. Again, appreciation should not be limited to achievements, but to what they bring to the table in their character or demeanor.

  • Be genuine in your expressed appreciation.

If you are one who does not readily acknowledge the good things in life and other people, make sure that you are genuine in your expression when you do express appreciation. Others will not trust your efforts if you otherwise send signals of dismissal or unappreciation.

  • It’s the quality, not the quantity.

A client recently shared that she has a colleague who passes by her desk several times daily and each time he does, he says, “Good job!” However, when she stopped him the other day and asked him what he appreciated about her good work, he couldn’t answer her. Be sure that, when you are recognizing blessings or others, you are specific, so that this is meaningful to both you and them. Quality in this regard is everything. Otherwise, your message rings hollow.

Practicing gratitude just makes sense. It’s better for your health and outlook. It is contagious, inspiring, and motivating to those around you. And in times like these, when we cannot control many things we used to take for granted, we can serve as ripples in a pond, collectively making positive impact all around us.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

How Safe is it for Your Team to Make Decisions Together?

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How Safe is it for Your Team to Make Decisions Together?
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When making decisions as a team, do you have a few dominant voices and others that shrink back?

Though you are hoping for collective genius, it may turn out that your team suffers from giving in to the squeakiest wheel. In other words, it isn’t so much that the decision-making process is faulty – it’s more often the way the team interacts in order to reach answers.

What do you do?

That’s what Johann asked me.

“Here’s how it goes. First, a situation or challenge is presented. And then I open it up for brainstorming. Jack will always have an opinion, and Daniel will want to argue for arguing’s sake. The other four have learned to sit back and just let it happen. And I’m tired of refereeing. How can I help the team work together better to make decisions?”

“Johann, you are missing two-thirds of your team brainpower. That’s significant.”

“Yes, and I’ve tried asking the others what they think, to give them space to talk. But they just don’t want to enter into the fracas.”

“I don’t blame them,” I said. “Nobody wants to jump in to talk when it doesn’t feel safe.”

“What do you mean, ‘safe’?”

“Well, my guess is when the others have tried to speak up that they are cut down, their opinion is discounted or diminished, or they get the feeling it wasn’t worth speaking up. Am I right?”

“Yes, I guess so,” Johann said. “So how do you make it feel safe to participate?”

I shared 3 steps with Johann to begin creating psychological safety for the team.

Psychological safety allows team members to take risks, voice innovative ideas, and speaking one’s mind. When it is absent, team members begin to shut down and go along with the dominant voices in the group to feel safe. It doesn’t feel good to stick one’s neck out with a possible new concept or solution, only to feel shot down by someone else in the group.

What happens over the long term is that those team members whose voices are overshadowed by the more dominant voices simply default to the prevailing opinion. In other words, they take the easy road out by agreeing with the majority. In this way, they avoid conflict or feeling shot down. The problem is that those team members who give in may not really endorse the decisions made. They will go along with it, but their engagement will be low.

And when engagement is low, results are sub-par. You’ve lost the power of the potential talent on the team.

What to do?

1. Begin with a team charter around decision-making. Have the team list out what they need in order to give their very best to the process. Talk about what gets in the way, what prevents them from participating or bringing their top ideas to the table. Then, turn this around to a shared agreement about how you will operate going forward. If no one speaks up about the quieter voices, provide your own feedback on how you have observed this.

2. Shake up the process. For example, if presenting a particular problem to be solved, make the rule that there will be a question period before opinions are proffered. Make a game of it. Only questions for 10 minutes to get the information they need, and then open the floor for recommendations. This question period will allow those who have been reticent to participate to jump in. You might even have people write down their recommendations, hand them to you, and have you read them.

3. Break up old dynamics. Appoint a devil’s advocate (or two!) and charge them with countering the group’s consensus. Invite them to challenge and to ask the difficult questions. Research has shown that challenging in this way can improve group outcomes and the quality of the decisions made. Appoint a time-keeper and limit the team members to 1 minute apiece as they go around “popcorn style” to provide their input. Make a rule that the first person to speak after someone has providing an idea must say something positive about the idea. You are shifting dynamics to allow participation in safe space.

Johann agreed to try out developing the team charter and reported later that this revealed deep feelings of which he had not been aware. The team was able to talk frankly and to decide how they wanted to do differently going forward. Further, when he integrated more of the ideas into the decision-making process, it was enough to help the team move out of a limiting dynamic and into a healthier, more inclusive one.

How would you rate your team’s ability to make decisions together? Although I can’t promise that this approach will help your team to make better decisions, I can tell you with confidence that when you improve the interaction between your team members during the process, that it will boost your chances of a better outcome.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Is Your New Executive a Poor Cultural Fit – or Simply Situationally Unaware?

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Is Your New Executive a Poor Cultural Fit – or Simply Situationally Unaware?
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Most often, great new talent will fail, not because they are incompetent, but because they are what we call a “poor cultural fit.”

Such “poor fits” usually don’t last more than 12-18 months. It’s a big loss for the organization and the executive, both in morale and in the investment of money and time.

But more often than not, what is labeled as “poor cultural fit” is really a lack of situational awareness.

Is your new executive a poor fit? Or simply situationally unaware?

When Chris called me, she was completely demoralized.

“Patti, I have an excellent team. We’ve been through crisis and change and are even stronger than before. But I’m incredibly disappointed about my newest hire, Stan. He was the most promising talent when we onboarded him. And what a track record! But he’s not connecting the dots here at the company. He keeps missing the mark. He’s just an incredibly poor fit with our culture!”

“Chris, what are you seeing that tells you he’s a poor fit?”

“Well, he doesn’t seem to grasp the organizational structure when he makes decisions. The other day, he rode right over my top project manager to fast-track one of his initiatives. And even though we approach decision-making in a democratic fashion, he continues to call the shots on things in which he should include others. I guess I’ve hired a racehorse that doesn’t belong here.”

“Chris, is he willful or stubborn? In other words, is he trying to show off?”

“No, Patti – he truly just seems to operate differently, the way I described. Is there anything I can do?”

“I actually think there is, Chris. If my hunch is correct, Stan lacks situational awareness.”

“Explain, please,” answered Chris.

“Stan may simply need to develop a better lens in reading the social and political currents of the organization. Right now, it sounds as though he doesn’t have a good read on your organizational norms – the way you do things there. And he may also not understand the power relationships and how they work at the company.”

“Whatever it is, please help,” said Chris. “The other team members are distrustful of Stan, and his seasoned reports are shutting down.”

Chris arranged for me to meet Stan the next week. I felt sorry for him. He realized he was making mistakes and had become frustrated.

“I’m finding it very difficult to get things done here, Patti,” he said. “I’ve been handed some aggressive goals. and I see what’s possible. But I seem to keep treading on people’s toes, and there are obviously some unspoken rules around here. I’m lost.”

Stan and I talked a bit about his onboarding process.

“Truthfully, I was welcomed at a strategic planning retreat and met all my colleagues. I have meant to get around to meeting each one, learning more about what they do, how things work. But we have some time-sensitive goals, and they are pretty challenging. So, I’ve gotten to know them only through our interactions in team meetings. And, of course, I have a copy of the strategic plan with responsibilities assigned.”

“Who is mentoring you in this first phase of your employment?” I asked.

“Mentoring? No one. Chris says she’s available for any questions. But she’s pretty busy. I’m just pushing through this as best I can. But I’m really not making friends.”

I sat with Chris later and shared my thoughts.

“You have a bright executive. And he’s willing. He knows he’s in trouble. The challenge here is that he doesn’t have someone to walk him through the political and social networks he needs to know in order to get things done.”

“I’ve been pretty busy,” Chris admitted. “He does come in and ask questions from time to time. We talked through his responsibilities with the strategic plan. What else can I do?”

“Have you identified key stakeholders for each of his initiatives and introduced him to them?”

“No,” Chris answered slowly.

“Have you walked through your decision-making process here at the company?” I asked.

“No,” she said. Her shoulders drooped. “Wow. I’ve really messed up this onboarding, haven’t I? I’ve actually set him up for failure.”

“It’s not too late,” I countered. “Let’s sit with him and get a plan together. I don’t think you need to bear the full responsibility of this – but it needs to be orchestrated. I have some ideas.”

A few weeks later, Stan called me to thank me.

“What a difference,” he said. Taking the time to talk through how things work around here, how people get things done – invaluable. Having a couple of colleague mentors to help bounce things off of before I press a button – what a change. I just wanted to thank you.”

“Stan, I’m glad it’s working out,” I said. “You have a lot of contribute.”

“You know, Patti, I guess I should have asked Chris to help me come up with such a strategy. It never occurred to me since I had never encountered such a problem elsewhere. But – lesson learned.”

Lesson learned is exactly what Chris said later, as well.

“We all have our growing edges, Chris,” I said. “You have pushed through another one. You are on your way.”

What about you? Do you have an executive who finds it hard to get the work done?

Do they tread on others’ toes? Are they having trouble connecting the dots? It will be well worth your time to sit with your team member to explore where the gaps are. And be prepared because you may discover that one of the gaps is you.

In addition to resolving the issue, it could be a great opportunity for leadership growth at many levels, including your own.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Do Your Stakeholders Get in Your Way?

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Do Your Stakeholders Get in Your Way?
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It’s challenging to get things done, especially with the changes you need to make.

Removing obstacles isn’t easy. But when roadblocks turn out to be the people who actually need to help you move forward, this can defeat even the best of initiatives.

Are your stakeholders aligned? Or are they just getting in your way?

“I’m ready to fire two of my key people,” said Jan. “They are the main holdup with the changes we need to make. If we don’t move on these, we will lose out on opportunity – and on the credibility we need with our board.”

“How are they showing resistance?” I asked.

“They began by talking to other team members on the side and pointing out what they saw as shortcomings in the plan. I’ve addressed this with them, but they still show reluctance to climb on board. I need their energy and I need their commitment.”

“What are you doing to bring them along in the process?” I asked.

“Bring them along? They were part of the visioning process. What else do I need to do?”

“If you are meeting with resistance, Jan, I’m curious about your process. As you worked together, did you allow for working through objections and considering various perspectives?”

“Patti, we don’t have time for that. I’ve got to push these initiatives through quickly. Otherwise, we will seriously jeopardize our financial health.”

“Well, if these two executives hold keys to moving forward, then you can’t do this without their support, Jan,” I responded. “Let’s take a look at how you can ignite them to action instead of dragging them behind you. If you don’t take the time to do that now, it sounds as if you won’t have a company to worry about.”

Jan shared that the company had lost significant market share during the first six months of the year due to the crisis. In order to remain financially healthy, Jan and the team had come up with a two-phase plan that would cut costs and generate greater revenue.

“When we discovered we could not recuperate quickly without making some big changes, we had to act quickly. We went offsite for a day, came up with a plan, and here we are,” said Jan. “These two executives are not alone in having to make changes.”

“Jan, may I share some perspective, here?” I asked.

“Anything – if it will move us along,” she said.

“Jan, these two executives are key to your success, right? That’s what you shared with me.”

“Yes,” Jan responded. “Without them, we can’t make some of the key pivots we need to make to recapture revenue.”

“Well, as we talk about the situation, I can hear your need to move quickly and your frustration. I can also hear that the support of your executives is paramount to succeeding.”

“Yes,” said Jan. “You are right. But where are you going with this?”

“Jan, your executive team members are key stakeholders. If you want to succeed well, we need to see how we can invite them to partner with you. Stakeholder alignment is key.”

“What would that mean?” asked Jan. “They realize that we need to take measures and act quickly. What do we do that we haven’t done?”

“In bringing stakeholders along, you must first see where they are with your ideas and what their concerns are,” I answered. “In this way, you would clarify what the gaps are and how to address them. But in your case, it sounds like you already know what the concerns are – at least, you are telling me that they are objecting and not aligning with your plan. Am I right?”

“Yes, I’m well aware of their concerns,” Jan said. “And I thought we addressed these in the meeting. It’s apparent to me now that we did not dig deep enough to surface more.”

“Jan, bringing stakeholders along is a process, not an item on a checklist,” I said. “You are right – a strategy meeting is just the beginning. Since you are aware of their objections, you can invite them to resolve these and align with you in one of two ways – your preference.

“You see, in order to bring people along, you actually have to be open to having your own mind changed – not just changing theirs. It’s not a matter of simply telling them what the plan is. It means being open to examining other perspectives and input. It means realizing that their thinking might make your thinking even better.”

Jan paused and sat back in her chair. “I’m listening.”

“You have a short timeline, Jan. It sounds like you need to get back in the room with everyone as a follow-up. Invite further involvement – ask for objectives and perspectives, giving them the end goal or transformation in mind. And let them work through it with you. Be sure you cover three things: (1) fears and concerns; (2) what’s in it for them; and (3) how the changes will make the company’s life better.

“You’ll find, Jan, that if you spend more time on this, you will recuperate time on the back end. Your stakeholders will have bought into the plan and will commit to it full force.”

I followed up with Jan six weeks later. She was pleased to report that the follow-up discussions had been powerful. She admitted changing her own mind on one of the ways to recapture revenue, and to seeing the value of pooling minds to come up with best solutions.

Do you recognize the importance of your stakeholders? Can you share the vision in a way that invites feedback and discussion? If you will devote the time to create such partnership, considering all perspectives and pooling best ideas, the results will be a win-win for the team and the entire organization.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.