Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

leaders

When Your Executive Can’t Get to the Point

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When Your Executive Can’t Get to the Point
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Have you ever had an executive who just can’t seem to get to the point?  It can be an agonizing monologue, and you, as listener, can easily get lost in their narrative.

How do you help them shorten up the time they spend in detail so that you can determine what they need from you?

Tom asked me to work with him on his tolerance levels with key executives. “Specifically, I’m at my wit’s end with John, one of my key executives.”

“I can’t get past his droning narrative,” Tom continued. “It’s as if every conversation he has begins with when he was born and where. Then I start bristling and cut him off. Lately, I’ve noticed him shutting down, and I’m sure it’s because of my reaction. What do I do?”

“John may be a functional communicator*,” I said. “Does he love details and timelines?”

“I don’t know what a functional communicator is, but he thrives on timelines and charts,” Tom answered. “Burying himself in step-by-step guides and combing through details are a mental trip to Disneyland for John. It drives me crazy!”

“And how do you like to get things done, Tom?” I asked.

“Listen, I’m a big-picture thinker,” he responded. “Don’t bog me down with details. Give me a quick overview, and let me ask a few careful questions. That’s how we can move forward quickly.”

“Then I would call you an intuitive communicator, Tom,” I said. “Too many details can seem distracting to you.”

“You aren’t kidding,” Tom said. “My skin starts crawling when we drop below 40,000 feet.”

“Well, Tom, since you say John is great talent, and you want to negotiate a better way of communicating with him, here are four steps you can take with him.”

  1. Let him know you value his contributions.

Tell John he may have noticed you becoming frustrated upon occasion and that you apologize for this. Share that you recognize this is due to your differing communication styles and is no reflection on how you regard his talent or positive impact on the team.

  1. Share your observation about your communication styles.

Note he appears to be a functional communicator. He likes to outline things in a step-by-step way so that nothing is missed and provide details so that someone has full information by the time he is finished presenting. Ask him if this is correct. After listening and confirming, be sure you let him know you appreciate his desire to be thorough. Then, share your communication style with him.  As an intuitive communicator, you appreciate the aerial view. You like the big picture, and details can be distracting to you. You prefer for him to stick to the main topic and allow you to ask follow-up questions. You will then ask him to share other details he feels are relevant after you ask your questions.

  1. Pick a topic and role play.

Experiment with how it would be to communicate in each other’s preferred styles. In other words, after selecting the topic, share first with him, outlining all details and info John might appreciate. Debrief after having done so to see if this is helpful to him. Then, have John try your style with the same topic, identifying the main point in a sentence and its present or potential impact. He will then sit back for questions. Again, debrief.

  1. Practice.

As you meet together, continue to try each other’s styles as you communicate. Ask each other how it is working, and what could go better. Make sure that you don’t treat this as a test, but as experimenting to find the right way for both.

The next time you become frustrated with a colleague’s communication style, ask yourself what would work for you, instead. Then have the conversation with that person and ask them about their experience with you. Do they also need something different, in order to communicate more smoothly? Suggest experimenting such as is outlined above, and see if this doesn’t improve your working relationship and your ability to get things done together.

*Mark Murphy’s 4 Communication Styles, Leadership IQ

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

The Key to Developing Your People

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The Key to Developing Your People
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Developing your people is key to keeping your business strong. Rather than a “sometime event,” it should be an active part of your culture so that you always have your leadership talent pipeline full.

Jim was worried. His company had a knack for hiring great people. But the turnover was significant. Employee exit interviews often reflected that they felt there were little or no career path opportunities. This was puzzling to Jim, as he had always encouraged his executives to watch to support bright and promising talent in their areas for bigger things.

He had brought in several targeted trainings so that his executives were well-versed, but the numbers showed that this was not working.

What was missing?

When Jim called me, he had just learned that a key manager was leaving for a competitor.

“I can’t have this talent bleed anymore,” Jim blurted. “How can we get a handle on developing our people so that we quit losing good talent, and so that this talent is ready to move into greater responsibility?”

“Jim,” I answered, “your approach is a familiar one. Leaders may bring in occasional targeted trainings or leave people development up to their individual executives to groom people in their areas. Neither of these approaches is effective.

“What is needed is a uniform, systemic approach to developing your people that is well-defined, modeled, and replicable. Otherwise, your talent pipeline – your leadership pipeline – will be leaking from all sides.

“Well, I need to do something quickly,” Jim replied. “What are my marching orders?”

Jim and I worked on three simple steps to turn things around. By the end of 12 months, results were remarkable.

3 Steps to Developing Your People

1. Define it. Developing your people requires addressing competencies, character, and commitment. This means reviewing and identifying:

a. The technical skills needed for the role
b. The relational skills or character traits that support your culture and work environment (e.g., integrity, connection, respect, etc.)
c. Employee commitment (what does commitment look like in their personal leadership, their work, etc.)

2. Make it systemic and formalize it as part of expectations. Agreeing on your approach and framework is a good start, but you will then want to create a plan to cascade this throughout the company in a way that is replicable. What needs to be refined and emphasized in your messaging to support this as a cultural expectation? In employee job descriptions to support this? In performance reviews?

3. Model it. Start at the top. Too many leaders issue the directive to launch such an initiative, but do not actively take part in it. You as leader, and your executive team, need to begin this process first, and actively model it so that directors and managers can take the ball and run with it.

Taking the time and devoting the energy to developing your people is one of the greatest ROIs I see in the business world. I encourage you to make this a topic of discussion with your team – and to act on it.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Putting Tough Feedback to Work for You

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Putting Tough Feedback to Work for You
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It stings when someone else shares how you might improve your leadership. Receiving constructive criticism can feel painful.

As humans, we seek to be loved and accepted. When someone provides feedback intimating that we still have work to do in order to be amazing, it can threaten our sense of self-worth. The haunting doubt as to whether we are “good enough” to be accepted, to belong, rises up.

How can you as leader turn this around and put feedback to work for you?

Constructive feedback is necessary to our growth and professional development. We all have blind spots. And since we don’t have the same vantage point that others do, their perspective can be invaluable.

There are three important steps, however, to making sure that we take full advantage of the situation.

1. Practice careful listening.

As you receive the information from the other person, try to remember that this is actually a gift that can help you move forward. Refrain from interjecting, objecting, defending, or explaining in any way, and simply thank them, instead. If you need clarification, ask questions in order to better understand. This is a time to put your listening skills to work, which is much different than simply hearing. For more on this, download the free infographic “How to Raise Your Influence in Less Than Five Seconds.”

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2. Consider the feedback carefully.

You may feel defensive and want to discount what you have just heard. Or you may feel a need to rush to action in an attempt to remedy what has been pointed out as shortfall. Resist these impulses. Instead, weigh carefully what you have heard. Can you see how the feedback might be true? Is the person providing the feedback credible? Have you received this same constructive criticism from other people? If you are not sure, check quietly with a couple of trusted colleagues to test this out.

3. Develop a plan to close the gap.

Return to the person who provided you with feedback and ask them to clarify what success looks like. Work with a trusted mentor or coach to identify steps and tools that will help you get there and ask them to be your accountability partner. Check in from time to time to gauge the effectiveness of your plan not only with this partner, but also with the person who provided you with the gift of feedback.

Putting tough feedback to work for you requires courage. But the payoff in your ability to be effective can be tremendous.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Keeping Your Head in the Game: Leadership 2021

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Keeping Your Head in the Game: Leadership 2021
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It’s a new year, and the pundits are calling 2021 the Year of Transition. If anything has changed, it has been that we have acclimated to a new way of working and living.

There are definite perks to this, but there have also been major drawbacks which have caused us to abandon much of what we know and adopt a learner’s mindset out of necessity.

Admit it – it’s been rough. Many of you reading this are tired. And some of you have called me, asking me how you can get your head back into the game.

What does it take to reenergize and motivate you as leader so that you can lead your life and work in 2021?

I work primarily with top executives to recreate future, working with their respective teams and companies, and also in small leadership groups where CEOs can put their heads together to share experiences and ideas. When we work on meeting the future, motivation of self is a hot topic.

And here is what we know: the head game of motivation requires that you focus on three things:

1. Purpose

Energy and engagement come from purpose. After weathering the initial shock and challenges of 2020, your physical and mental stores may be depleted. Revisiting your purpose is a first necessary step to picking back up. Why do you lead? What impact do you hope to make? What legacy are you seeking to create? If you keep pushing forward but cannot answer these questions, you will be headed for burnout. I invite you to take time to reflect on this. Call a coach or trusted advisor and talk through this. Because anything sustainable starts with purpose.

2. Direction

Know where you are headed. It is true that long-term planning is no longer valid due to the volatility and uncertainty around the future of work. Instead, one must use shorter-term planning to head in a general direction, and continuously bench against the changes in the business landscape. Keep your organizational vision at the forefront as you acquire the personal agility needed to meet goals and objectives. This particular step requires that you also open up to the perspectives of others. Seasoned leaders are comfortable doing things in the familiar way. And the word familiar is one that will not be used often in 2021.

3. Synergy

Leadership has been lonely, but then, we haven’t learned how to share it very well. Leading forward now requires the shift from “me” to “we,” for connection, mutual support and collective accountability. Inviting your executive team to share the vision is a first step, but the next is to allow them to share in greater responsibilities – the kind that ignites their purpose, as well. Raising the tenor of team energy is the magic we need to create great things together. Where do you start? Begin with a conversation around this topic. Ask for their ideas and feedback, ask what it would take for them to get excited around the idea. I believe this might be one of the most meaningful brainstorming you will have experienced for a long time – and it can yield great fruit.

My wish for you in 2021 is to know that you have what it takes (I know some of you question this at this time). My challenge to you is to rediscover your purpose and direction, and to create that synergy that will lift you up, as well as your team, so that you can move confidently to meet the future.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

3 Crucial Questions Leaders Need to Answer for 2021

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3 Crucial Questions Leaders Need to Answer for 2021
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I hope you have been able to enjoy a safe and meaningful holiday, and that you have this week as a reflection period, as well. Contemplating key questions in order to move forward well in 2021 requires dedicated focus.

Here are 3 crucial questions leaders are currently asking themselves. Can you answer these? And if not, do you have the plan and support you need in order to do so?

1. What should virtual or hybrid work look like for us in the future?

A lot of leaders still hope that as the devastation of COVID is addressed and managed, that all will get back to “business as usual.” However, many of the ways we have had to work this year were already on the horizon as possibility. The virus simply accelerated this. As we move forward, we recognize that working virtually has not only been in place for some time in many businesses, but it is now something that the rest of us need to accept.

Beyond physical logistics, we need to address the potential impact this will have on our ability to deliver; to productivity and outcomes. Culture will need to be considered (see point #2 below). Ways of communicating are important – but what we communicate in order to get things done will need to change, as well. Cultivating soft skills in connection and all things relational will become more important to success.

2. How can we cultivate and maintain a vibrant and positive culture?

Culture is a company’s mission, vision and values in action. Much of this has been eclipsed by the constraints of COVID and having to scramble to work virtually in many cases. Moreover, as we return to work, it will not be as we knew it, but as we create it going forward. Considering virtual and hybrid work environments, how will you keep your organization’s culture vibrant and alive? What will need to change or be implemented in order to create this? Focus on individual, team and organizational behaviors, as well as the processes and systems needed to provide a supportive framework.

And as we move from a knowledge-based mindset to a learner’s mindset (pivotal for meeting the future!), how can you implement a program that supports culture at all levels of the company? This is an oft-neglected part of typical planning, but key to the spirit of belonging and desire to contribute; employee morale, engagement and productivity.

3. What skills and abilities does my executive team need now in order to meet the future?

Your strategic plans dictate what capabilities your team will need in order to execute. Identifying these and putting a development program in place is non-negotiable. You will want to use a blend of proven techniques and modalities that allow your executives to apply their learning to their work. Online learning is here to stay and is just as effective as in-person learning when well executed. How will you identify your needs, what programs are most effective, and how you will receive support to make sure the learning is integrated?

Beyond the individual team members’ growth, however, focus needs to be given to the team as a body. Include the team behaviors and norms you need to see in your own team in order for them to trust each other, to execute together at highest levels. How would they assess trust on the team? Are team members aligned and coordinated in their execution? In their ability to communicate and resolve conflict? Without putting a plan in place to respond to these questions, the best team can become fragmented or siloed, depending on what your organization is facing.

As you read this, what key components will you need to integrate into your planning for 2021? Designing a framework that supports both short and long term is crucial.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.