Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

influence

Putting Tough Feedback to Work for You

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Putting Tough Feedback to Work for You
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It stings when someone else shares how you might improve your leadership. Receiving constructive criticism can feel painful.

As humans, we seek to be loved and accepted. When someone provides feedback intimating that we still have work to do in order to be amazing, it can threaten our sense of self-worth. The haunting doubt as to whether we are “good enough” to be accepted, to belong, rises up.

How can you as leader turn this around and put feedback to work for you?

Constructive feedback is necessary to our growth and professional development. We all have blind spots. And since we don’t have the same vantage point that others do, their perspective can be invaluable.

There are three important steps, however, to making sure that we take full advantage of the situation.

1. Practice careful listening.

As you receive the information from the other person, try to remember that this is actually a gift that can help you move forward. Refrain from interjecting, objecting, defending, or explaining in any way, and simply thank them, instead. If you need clarification, ask questions in order to better understand. This is a time to put your listening skills to work, which is much different than simply hearing. For more on this, download the free infographic “How to Raise Your Influence in Less Than Five Seconds.”

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2. Consider the feedback carefully.

You may feel defensive and want to discount what you have just heard. Or you may feel a need to rush to action in an attempt to remedy what has been pointed out as shortfall. Resist these impulses. Instead, weigh carefully what you have heard. Can you see how the feedback might be true? Is the person providing the feedback credible? Have you received this same constructive criticism from other people? If you are not sure, check quietly with a couple of trusted colleagues to test this out.

3. Develop a plan to close the gap.

Return to the person who provided you with feedback and ask them to clarify what success looks like. Work with a trusted mentor or coach to identify steps and tools that will help you get there and ask them to be your accountability partner. Check in from time to time to gauge the effectiveness of your plan not only with this partner, but also with the person who provided you with the gift of feedback.

Putting tough feedback to work for you requires courage. But the payoff in your ability to be effective can be tremendous.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Keeping Your Head in the Game: Leadership 2021

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Keeping Your Head in the Game: Leadership 2021
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It’s a new year, and the pundits are calling 2021 the Year of Transition. If anything has changed, it has been that we have acclimated to a new way of working and living.

There are definite perks to this, but there have also been major drawbacks which have caused us to abandon much of what we know and adopt a learner’s mindset out of necessity.

Admit it – it’s been rough. Many of you reading this are tired. And some of you have called me, asking me how you can get your head back into the game.

What does it take to reenergize and motivate you as leader so that you can lead your life and work in 2021?

I work primarily with top executives to recreate future, working with their respective teams and companies, and also in small leadership groups where CEOs can put their heads together to share experiences and ideas. When we work on meeting the future, motivation of self is a hot topic.

And here is what we know: the head game of motivation requires that you focus on three things:

1. Purpose

Energy and engagement come from purpose. After weathering the initial shock and challenges of 2020, your physical and mental stores may be depleted. Revisiting your purpose is a first necessary step to picking back up. Why do you lead? What impact do you hope to make? What legacy are you seeking to create? If you keep pushing forward but cannot answer these questions, you will be headed for burnout. I invite you to take time to reflect on this. Call a coach or trusted advisor and talk through this. Because anything sustainable starts with purpose.

2. Direction

Know where you are headed. It is true that long-term planning is no longer valid due to the volatility and uncertainty around the future of work. Instead, one must use shorter-term planning to head in a general direction, and continuously bench against the changes in the business landscape. Keep your organizational vision at the forefront as you acquire the personal agility needed to meet goals and objectives. This particular step requires that you also open up to the perspectives of others. Seasoned leaders are comfortable doing things in the familiar way. And the word familiar is one that will not be used often in 2021.

3. Synergy

Leadership has been lonely, but then, we haven’t learned how to share it very well. Leading forward now requires the shift from “me” to “we,” for connection, mutual support and collective accountability. Inviting your executive team to share the vision is a first step, but the next is to allow them to share in greater responsibilities – the kind that ignites their purpose, as well. Raising the tenor of team energy is the magic we need to create great things together. Where do you start? Begin with a conversation around this topic. Ask for their ideas and feedback, ask what it would take for them to get excited around the idea. I believe this might be one of the most meaningful brainstorming you will have experienced for a long time – and it can yield great fruit.

My wish for you in 2021 is to know that you have what it takes (I know some of you question this at this time). My challenge to you is to rediscover your purpose and direction, and to create that synergy that will lift you up, as well as your team, so that you can move confidently to meet the future.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

3 Crucial Questions Leaders Need to Answer for 2021

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3 Crucial Questions Leaders Need to Answer for 2021
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I hope you have been able to enjoy a safe and meaningful holiday, and that you have this week as a reflection period, as well. Contemplating key questions in order to move forward well in 2021 requires dedicated focus.

Here are 3 crucial questions leaders are currently asking themselves. Can you answer these? And if not, do you have the plan and support you need in order to do so?

1. What should virtual or hybrid work look like for us in the future?

A lot of leaders still hope that as the devastation of COVID is addressed and managed, that all will get back to “business as usual.” However, many of the ways we have had to work this year were already on the horizon as possibility. The virus simply accelerated this. As we move forward, we recognize that working virtually has not only been in place for some time in many businesses, but it is now something that the rest of us need to accept.

Beyond physical logistics, we need to address the potential impact this will have on our ability to deliver; to productivity and outcomes. Culture will need to be considered (see point #2 below). Ways of communicating are important – but what we communicate in order to get things done will need to change, as well. Cultivating soft skills in connection and all things relational will become more important to success.

2. How can we cultivate and maintain a vibrant and positive culture?

Culture is a company’s mission, vision and values in action. Much of this has been eclipsed by the constraints of COVID and having to scramble to work virtually in many cases. Moreover, as we return to work, it will not be as we knew it, but as we create it going forward. Considering virtual and hybrid work environments, how will you keep your organization’s culture vibrant and alive? What will need to change or be implemented in order to create this? Focus on individual, team and organizational behaviors, as well as the processes and systems needed to provide a supportive framework.

And as we move from a knowledge-based mindset to a learner’s mindset (pivotal for meeting the future!), how can you implement a program that supports culture at all levels of the company? This is an oft-neglected part of typical planning, but key to the spirit of belonging and desire to contribute; employee morale, engagement and productivity.

3. What skills and abilities does my executive team need now in order to meet the future?

Your strategic plans dictate what capabilities your team will need in order to execute. Identifying these and putting a development program in place is non-negotiable. You will want to use a blend of proven techniques and modalities that allow your executives to apply their learning to their work. Online learning is here to stay and is just as effective as in-person learning when well executed. How will you identify your needs, what programs are most effective, and how you will receive support to make sure the learning is integrated?

Beyond the individual team members’ growth, however, focus needs to be given to the team as a body. Include the team behaviors and norms you need to see in your own team in order for them to trust each other, to execute together at highest levels. How would they assess trust on the team? Are team members aligned and coordinated in their execution? In their ability to communicate and resolve conflict? Without putting a plan in place to respond to these questions, the best team can become fragmented or siloed, depending on what your organization is facing.

As you read this, what key components will you need to integrate into your planning for 2021? Designing a framework that supports both short and long term is crucial.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Why to Practice Gratitude in Restless Times

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Why to Practice Gratitude in Restless Times
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The United States is celebrating Thanksgiving. Historically, it is a cheerful and exciting kick-off to the holidays. However, this year has been full of complexity and challenges, and there are those of you reading this who are struggling with significant loss, perhaps personally and professionally.

It is important to acknowledge this and to recognize that, for many, life has been altered in a way that feels heavy and difficult. Tapping into the right resources to help provide support is key. And although we cannot possibly list every resource here that might be needed, if you are unsure as to where to turn, checking with a local county or state official’s office is a great start.

As we move forward, the practice of gratitude becomes even more important. It is not a replacement for loss, nor is this intended to dismiss confronting challenges. However, the art and science of gratitude has proven to be a life experience enhancer for many reasons, and I invite you to consider putting this to work for you.

Practicing gratitude has actually shown to be effective in many studies. In other words, research supports its positive effects.

Here are some key reasons you might want to begin a simple gratitude practice.

1. Elevate your mood and lower your stress.

The expression of gratitude is a perspective brightener. Researchers from Harvard, University of California Davis, and University of Pennsylvania have produced studies showing that people report elevated happiness as much as a month later by doing such things as keeping a gratitude journal, writing letters of appreciation, and jotting down positive memories.

The good feelings associated with performing these tasks also positively affect the hypothalamus, which controls basic bodily functions such as eating and sleeping, and dopamine, the “reward neurotransmitter.” And if you receive positive acknowledgment from someone else in this way, it operates on your brain in a similar way. This means better sleep habits, well-being, and health.

Imagine what this can do in the workplace!

2. Motivate those around you – and make the world a better place.

Integrating a practice of gratitude affects those around you. It is a great motivator, both at home and in the workplace.

A study performed by professors Grant and Gino on the merits of gratitude and its effects on motivating prosocial behavior emphasizes this point. Researchers divided participants into two groups and asked them to make fundraising calls to solicit alumni donations. One group followed the traditional method of making calls while another group was given a speech by the director of annual giving, who expressed gratitude for their efforts. The group who received the pep talk made 50% more fundraising calls than those who did not.

3. How do you begin? Here are a few tips.

  • Express gratitude daily.

Keep a journal and simply jot down three things for which you are thankful each morning. Over time, this has been shown to help redirect a person’s perspective in a more positive manner throughout the day. Write thank-you notes when you recognize your appreciation of others. Make a phone call to share your gratitude of others with them. Human beings need connection and acknowledgment more than ever before during these tumultuous times.

  • Celebrate small wins as well as large ones.

Look for the small nuggets of “good” and count your blessings. What do you take for granted each day that is really a luxury? Who do you appreciate for who they are – and not for what they do?

  • Seek out the unsung heroes.

There are many in our circles who, through their faithfulness and steady commitment, continue to make the world a better place. Note these. Let them know. Again, appreciation should not be limited to achievements, but to what they bring to the table in their character or demeanor.

  • Be genuine in your expressed appreciation.

If you are one who does not readily acknowledge the good things in life and other people, make sure that you are genuine in your expression when you do express appreciation. Others will not trust your efforts if you otherwise send signals of dismissal or unappreciation.

  • It’s the quality, not the quantity.

A client recently shared that she has a colleague who passes by her desk several times daily and each time he does, he says, “Good job!” However, when she stopped him the other day and asked him what he appreciated about her good work, he couldn’t answer her. Be sure that, when you are recognizing blessings or others, you are specific, so that this is meaningful to both you and them. Quality in this regard is everything. Otherwise, your message rings hollow.

Practicing gratitude just makes sense. It’s better for your health and outlook. It is contagious, inspiring, and motivating to those around you. And in times like these, when we cannot control many things we used to take for granted, we can serve as ripples in a pond, collectively making positive impact all around us.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

How Safe is it for Your Team to Make Decisions Together?

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How Safe is it for Your Team to Make Decisions Together?
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When making decisions as a team, do you have a few dominant voices and others that shrink back?

Though you are hoping for collective genius, it may turn out that your team suffers from giving in to the squeakiest wheel. In other words, it isn’t so much that the decision-making process is faulty – it’s more often the way the team interacts in order to reach answers.

What do you do?

That’s what Johann asked me.

“Here’s how it goes. First, a situation or challenge is presented. And then I open it up for brainstorming. Jack will always have an opinion, and Daniel will want to argue for arguing’s sake. The other four have learned to sit back and just let it happen. And I’m tired of refereeing. How can I help the team work together better to make decisions?”

“Johann, you are missing two-thirds of your team brainpower. That’s significant.”

“Yes, and I’ve tried asking the others what they think, to give them space to talk. But they just don’t want to enter into the fracas.”

“I don’t blame them,” I said. “Nobody wants to jump in to talk when it doesn’t feel safe.”

“What do you mean, ‘safe’?”

“Well, my guess is when the others have tried to speak up that they are cut down, their opinion is discounted or diminished, or they get the feeling it wasn’t worth speaking up. Am I right?”

“Yes, I guess so,” Johann said. “So how do you make it feel safe to participate?”

I shared 3 steps with Johann to begin creating psychological safety for the team.

Psychological safety allows team members to take risks, voice innovative ideas, and speaking one’s mind. When it is absent, team members begin to shut down and go along with the dominant voices in the group to feel safe. It doesn’t feel good to stick one’s neck out with a possible new concept or solution, only to feel shot down by someone else in the group.

What happens over the long term is that those team members whose voices are overshadowed by the more dominant voices simply default to the prevailing opinion. In other words, they take the easy road out by agreeing with the majority. In this way, they avoid conflict or feeling shot down. The problem is that those team members who give in may not really endorse the decisions made. They will go along with it, but their engagement will be low.

And when engagement is low, results are sub-par. You’ve lost the power of the potential talent on the team.

What to do?

1. Begin with a team charter around decision-making. Have the team list out what they need in order to give their very best to the process. Talk about what gets in the way, what prevents them from participating or bringing their top ideas to the table. Then, turn this around to a shared agreement about how you will operate going forward. If no one speaks up about the quieter voices, provide your own feedback on how you have observed this.

2. Shake up the process. For example, if presenting a particular problem to be solved, make the rule that there will be a question period before opinions are proffered. Make a game of it. Only questions for 10 minutes to get the information they need, and then open the floor for recommendations. This question period will allow those who have been reticent to participate to jump in. You might even have people write down their recommendations, hand them to you, and have you read them.

3. Break up old dynamics. Appoint a devil’s advocate (or two!) and charge them with countering the group’s consensus. Invite them to challenge and to ask the difficult questions. Research has shown that challenging in this way can improve group outcomes and the quality of the decisions made. Appoint a time-keeper and limit the team members to 1 minute apiece as they go around “popcorn style” to provide their input. Make a rule that the first person to speak after someone has providing an idea must say something positive about the idea. You are shifting dynamics to allow participation in safe space.

Johann agreed to try out developing the team charter and reported later that this revealed deep feelings of which he had not been aware. The team was able to talk frankly and to decide how they wanted to do differently going forward. Further, when he integrated more of the ideas into the decision-making process, it was enough to help the team move out of a limiting dynamic and into a healthier, more inclusive one.

How would you rate your team’s ability to make decisions together? Although I can’t promise that this approach will help your team to make better decisions, I can tell you with confidence that when you improve the interaction between your team members during the process, that it will boost your chances of a better outcome.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.