Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

influence

Focus Bandits – Have You Been Robbed?

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Focus Bandits – Have You Been Robbed?
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Are you easily distracted, or are you finding it hard to concentrate?

Worried this will affect contributing your best work?

Before you get swept away in a sea of overwhelm, see if these three focus bandits are lurking in your vicinity.

If so, I’ve given some tips for you to eliminate the thieves and recapture clarity and focus so you can get going!

1. Unfinished business.

You may be carrying a stress load from unresolved conflict.

Is there a current challenge outside of the immediate work at hand that you need to resolve? A critical conversation that needs to occur?

Even more insidious is a long-standing situation that has silently eroded your focus for some time. If you aren’t sure as to whether you have any of the latter in your life, do a short self-assessment.

Rate yourself from 1-10 in the following areas:

  • Personal finances
  • Friends and family
  • Intimate relationship
  • Career
  • Fun and recreation
  • Physical environment
  • Spiritual life

With 10 being ultimate success, give yourself a score in each area. If any are less than 10, ask yourself what holds you back from a 10. The problem will emerge, and then it’s up to you to decide how you will resolve it.

2. Too many good things.

The adage, “Because I can, I do,” is bunk.

When a client tells me he or she is overworked and highly stressed, it usually comes from one of three areas:

  • Mismanagement (lack of delegating appropriately, avoiding conflict to allow it to pile up and affect the team, or other poor management practices)
  • A need to please others by accepting new assignments or an increase in responsibility without the proper support
  • Delusions of grandeur (believing you can handle it all, when the calendar shows it is physically impossible)

Do any of these feel as though they might be the case for you?

The mind needs “white space” or downtime to reflect, process, and actually follow through with the work prescribed from all those meetings we attend.

If you aren’t finding that white space in your life, it is time to re-organize. Identify the non-essentials and delegate or eliminate. You can have it all – just not all at the same time!

 3. Lack of organization, prioritization.

I find this less in my corporate clientele than my entrepreneurs, only because it is tough to wear several hats at once when you are building a business. However, this can also creep up when you are a corporate executive, and it usually occurs when you have just been handed an additional area of responsibility.

If this is you, whether things have just piled up, or whether you have accepted new opportunities, you’ll do best with formulating a 90-day plan of action to help you…

  • Prioritize
  • Identify short- and long-term wins
  • Determine the internal and external connections you need to cultivate in order to best get the work done
  • Establish a process whereby you can stay focused on the top priorities

I’ve helped many clients turn things around with this approach, and besides getting organized, the plan has kept their focus to a level that builds great credibility with others quickly.

And finally (bonus tip), here is the unvarnished truth for you who are eternal optimists:

You are fooling yourself if you use phrases that sound like, “As soon as _______ happens, I will have more time to breathe easier, capture more white space….”

If you find yourself in any of the above descriptions, you can recapture a great deal of focus and lessen your stress by simply being tough enough to create better boundaries for yourself.

It’s not always easy – but the reward is oh, so great.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Is Your Compassion Hurting You in the Workplace?

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Is Your Compassion Hurting You in the Workplace?
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Is your ability to have compassion for your colleagues hurting you?

Some of you have told me that when you show you care for others in the workplace, you become drained of energy. You discover you are the “go-to” person when problems arise or when people need a shoulder to cry on.

Others have told me it is hard to make tough decisions that could negatively affect others, and still feel compassionate.

If either of these situations hit close to home, don’t blame it on compassion.

Blame it on poor boundaries and a misunderstanding of what compassion really is.

Do you need to stop showing others you care? Not at all.

But when I talk about compassion in the workplace, a lot of people bristle and throw words like “soppy,” and “gutless” around.

“We had a ‘fluffy’ CEO,” said one manager. “Everyone loved him. But he could never make the tough decisions we needed in order to hold people accountable.”

Others roll their eyes and tell me that when they show compassion, an endless stream of needy people line up at the office door for counseling, advice, and a sympathetic ear.

“I’m absolutely spent,” said Jan. “People have so many problems and see me as a mentor. I can be there for them because I listen well and really care about the people here. But it seems like when one problem disappears, another arrives, and they are back at my door the next week with something else.”

However, compassion is anything but gutless or fluffy. And it is not being the “therapist on call.”

True compassion takes great courage to embody – and it’s vital to good leadership.

Compassion means to hold others with positive intent, to feel concern for their well-being.

It does not mean to be on call to fix others’ problems. And it doesn’t mean avoiding making the right decisions even though some may not like how it affects them. It simply means that you need to care about others and hold them in positive light.

So what does compassion really look like in the workplace? And how do you practice it?

Here is a quick checklist for you to sharpen your ability to show compassion and keep healthy boundaries:

1. When others bring you their problems, ask yourself the following:

a. Am I the right person to address this problem?

People may come to you because you have an ability to listen and sift through problems. However, the issue they bring to you might belong in another office. Is the problem of a work nature, and if so, who is the right decision-maker that can help them resolve it? Is the problem of a personal nature, and thus better discussed with those parties directly involved, or with a counselor? Begin to triage in this way so that you can redirect as appropriate.

b. Is the person bringing me the problem asking for help in solving it?

Sometimes, people just want a sympathetic ear. However, if you have someone who continues to come to you about a particular problem because you are good listener, you may want to ask them what they want to do about the situation. People can develop a chronic need for sympathy.

c. And finally, fixing others’ problems for them when they should be stretching their problem-solving skills doesn’t help them to grow.

Allow your employees and colleagues to “adult” by taking a coaching approach. Learn to ask them questions, such as, “How do you feel this should be handled? What possible solutions have you thought about?”

Then, if they are still stumped and you are the appropriate party to help them address the problem, help them to brainstorm with more possibilities, if needed.

2. Holding people accountable is compassionate and, you might say, the ultimate way to love others.

Confronting the tough stuff that holds your employees back will allow them to grow into more of their potential, be a greater contributor to their team, and thus support the enterprise more effectively. And that means that everybody wins.

3. Making tough decisions that may adversely affect some of your employees doesn’t mean you don’t care about them.

It means you ultimately care about everyone. Supporting a healthy enterprise provides good and meaningful work for the people who work there. Pleasing some people to the exclusion of the current and future health of the organization means hurting everyone.

Where in your practice of compassion do you need to recalibrate?

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

How Much Do Others Really Trust You?

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How Much Do Others Really Trust You?
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How much do others really trust you?

Most people see themselves as rather trustworthy. The problem is that your perception may not be the same as the picture others have of you.

How can you tell if you need to boost your trust factor with others?

Beth was one who excelled in competence – but something in her character kept others from feeling confident in her leadership. They just didn’t trust her.

Sure, she was capable and committed to the company. Her results were hard to beat. But when she was put in charge of a team, her CEO received significant backlash.

“I’m not saying she isn’t a great executive,” said one team member. “But she’s hard to read and she often switches gears in the middle of a project. It’s like fielding flies. How can we work with her if she doesn’t share what she’s thinking? I’m not sure I can trust her.”

What part of trust was lacking in Beth? Transparency – a vital piece to sound leadership character. Where she excelled in performance and results, she lacked the ability to share readily with others. This absence of communication led others to believe that she did not value their participation. In fact, this stemmed from Beth’s fear of being doubted in her decision-making. But that’s another article. The end result for our purposes here was that because Beth did not communicate, people did not trust her. They saw her as competent, but untrustworthy all the same.

Another executive, Jack, connected well with and respected others in all he undertook. It was clear that he held positive intent with all endeavors. This is all part of leadership character.

But Jack’s ability to hold himself and others accountable – a part of leadership competence – was woefully inadequate. As a result, Jack’s performance and that of his team was hit and miss. Because he found it difficult to stick with a plan and hold others to it, he missed several good opportunities for promotion.

You’ll see in the list below that there are indeed two vital parts to trust:

  • Affective trust – the emotional part of trust. How well are you able to create mutually-based concern for and with others? How well do you create bonds with others that feel solid and authentic? We call things relating to this part of creating trust your leadership character.
  • Cognitive trust – the rational part of trust that causes others to feel you are reliable, dependable, competent. We call things relating to this part of creating trust your leadership competence.

As you review this list, what do you celebrate about your own leadership? Where are your growing edges?

And would others say the same?

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Can You Lead with Heart and Get Results?

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Can You Lead with Heart and Get Results?
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A business can’t exist without meeting its bottom line.

But neither can a business exist without its people.

You’ve probably been in the room when budget is discussed, and someone diagrams the tension between dollars and people to get to an answer. The thought there is, too low on dollars, and we aren’t investing enough in infrastructure; too low on people and they won’t be engaged and produce.

But this is the wrong question.

What if I told you that in order to make your business perform at higher levels and meet the future more successfully, that you invest in people first, every time?

Can you really lead with heart first and get results?

Many misunderstand and think that leading with heart means taking on a maternal approach to leadership and offering a shoulder to cry on. Not so.

Leading with heart means leading with authenticity and service. It means putting people first. It’s having the ability to build trust and followership through influence and a genuine sense of service (and not because of position or power).

When you lead with heart, you get results.

Why?

Putting people first, building bonds, fostering their growth, and supporting their interests results in greater motivation. Your people become more highly engaged, and take more initiative. And this means more productivity. It means your workplace will experience a culture of creativity and fun.
All of this leads to a healthier and happier bottom line.

Instead of leading your decision-making with the dollar sign in front, keep your people as first priority.

What are the characteristics of leading with heart? Here is a short list to help you reconnect head and heart:

1. Lead with authenticity.

If you are attempting to emulate someone else’s style of leadership, or you haven’t taken the time to explore and discover your “inner leader” – your strengths, values, and personal mission – then you aren’t operating at your most powerful and best. Your natural gifts allow you to contribute at highest levels. Don’t play the comparison game – do the work to discover who you are as leader so that you are genuine in your approach to life, work, and relationships.

2. Serve with a sense of purpose.

Develop your why. Why do you do what you do? Why does the business exist? How do you and the business change things for the world? If you haven’t taken the time to answer these questions, then you don’t possess the drive that comes with purpose. Serving with purpose allows you to step outside yourself to connect and see how you can serve others. And that’s heart.

3. Develop capacity for love and caring in the workplace.

This may sound counter-intuitive. Yet, we are talking about the ability to build deep bonds and trust with others. This may sound rather esoteric, but stop to think for a moment: when human beings carry wounds and personal agendas fueled by a disconnect in character or poor experience, they step back, reticent to connect with others at a deep and personal level. This keeps others from trusting them, and staff will serve their leader out of fear and not out of love. If this is the case, motivation and engagement will take a deep dive – and so will your bottom line.

4. Foster growth and empowerment in others.

This may seem to be a given, but stop and think: are you someone who directs others and tells them what to do, or do you practice active listening and asking careful questions so that they can develop their personal growth? Are you someone who finds it difficult to trust others to get the job done, or do you take safe risks that allow others to flex their skills and learn to acquire greater tools?

5. Model and teach collaboration.

It’s easy to get the job done; it’s more challenging to allow others to participate and bring them along in the process. Do you find yourself saying, “Oh, I’ll just do this right now and we can move on,” or do you recognize the value in teaching collaboration? What else might get in your way of modeling collaboration? You’ll want to break through this so that you can create a powerful culture of team.

6. Confront courageously and in love.

Learn to love conflict, and to seek reconciling it wherever possible. Modeling this for your business will allow others to support reconciliation instead of forming silos and carrying the stress of unresolved conflict. Poor communication and conflict account for 87% of all productivity loss in the workplace. Learn to confront with courage and by being tough on issues and tender on people.

7. Celebrate creativity, fun, and initiative.

Are you having fun yet? Do your employees show they are enjoying what they do? If not, you will want to look at fostering a spirit of creativity and allowing more brainstorming and collaboration on areas you have considered closed. Cultivate the ability in yourself and your people to consider various perspectives outside the norm. Remember – the most amazing inventions have been born out of thinking outside the box. And thinking outside the box means stepping outside of it.

If you can master these seven steps, you will truly be on a strong path to leading with the heart. And in a world where technology continues to grow and impact our ability to lift each other up, cultivating the human spirit in love is more important than ever before.

Is Your High Performer Ruining the Company?

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Is Your High Performer Ruining the Company?
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Do you have a high performer that acts out, but you hesitate to correct him or her because he or she generates so much business for the company?

You may discover that your favored “race horse” is actually costing you more than you know.

What can you do?

I have seen this before – and if the high performer is willing, and you are ready to support the change, you may be able to turn this around.

Sam was an executive vice president who generated the lion’s share of the revenue for his organization for over five years. Leadership coined him “the race horse,” and at one time wondered if he should be the next CEO.

The customers were real fans, and Sam’s team was extremely loyal.

There was just one problem: Sam didn’t like to work with the other vice presidents or their managers. He felt they slowed his progress, which meant they weren’t consulted when he took on a new project – even when it affected their area. Sam often went around department managers if he needed help with something from one of their employees.

In the past, leadership pushed back on these other executives, worried that if Sam was asked to work with them, he would quit. However, over time, leadership noticed a growing resentment and conflict due to Sam’s work-arounds and inter-team avoidance tactics. Productivity was taking a deep dive.

Sam was surprised when his CEO introduced us, stating that he didn’t see the problem since his revenue generation was better than ever. However, since I had met with the CEO previous to this meeting, and we had quantified the loss to the organization because of Sam’s approach, the message was clear – Sam was actually costing the business a lot of money. His team and members of other teams were fighting, and turnover was on the rise.

Wanting to save his job and his reputation, Sam agreed to work with me to turn things around.

He had several great qualities, but lacked two key leadership traits that would stop his career in its tracks – the ability to empathize, seeing things from multiple perspectives; and the resulting ability to develop and nurture rapport with others for trusting relationships.

We co-created a development plan that addressed these two behaviors specifically, and worked together over the ensuing months to apply and integrate his learning so that it became a part of his nature. Sam agreed to a bold approach in this – he allowed me to help him talk to some of his colleagues and team members so that they played a part in his success. He shared that he was working on his leadership, and asked them if he could get intermittent feedback from them as to how he was doing as he and I worked together.

This paid off exponentially. Not only did Sam learn how to eliminate old counter-productive behaviors and replace them with more effective ones, he acquired some great advocates in his colleagues and teammates through his willingness to receive and use the feedback they provided.

Sam wasn’t promoted to CEO at that organization. He did get an offer, but instead, chose to accept another CEO position a few states away. I wish him well. He has earned the promotion.

Do you have a “racehorse” that does not play well with others? What might it be costing you?