Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

influence

Five Hidden Factors Resulting in Meeting Stalemates

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Five Hidden Factors Resulting in Meeting Stalemates
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You’ve reached an impasse in the meeting. Emotions are high.

It’s another stalemate, and this is becoming habit on your team.

Why does this happen? And how do you break through this and reach consensus?

Meeting shutdowns happen for a variety of reasons. And all the tips in the world to facilitate meetings will not work unless you move past the five most common hidden roadblocks that impel people to leave the conversation.

When a meeting stalemates, it is often because team members leave the “window of tolerance,” a term coined by Dan Siegel in his book Mindsight. The window of tolerance is the zone in which people operate optimally, functioning, managing, and thriving. It is the space in which we can do our best critical thinking, exchanging, and considering ideas because when we are in this zone, we are able to use our executive brain – the part of the brain where functions such as creativity, reasoning, critical thinking, and more are centered.

When people leave the window of tolerance, they move to one of two states.

  1. Hyper-arousal

Here, a person will want to fight or flee. They may feel anxious or angry. Emotions run high, and any thinking is based on survival and safety.

  1. Hypo-arousal

Here, a person will shut down, and feel spacey or numb. The body might want to freeze or shut down, and it is difficult to think at all.

How does this work in meetings?

Team members may become heated and even irrational in their attempt to drive home opinions or resist those presented by others. Other team members can shut down and leave the conversation entirely.

When this happens, meeting effectiveness comes to a halt. Most often, the group will decide they need to meet at a later time to revisit the topic. Important decisions are placed on hold. Executives and areas of responsibility are held back. The organization is in limbo.

How do you handle this?

Here are five of the most common inhibitors and some ideas to help the team break through to move forward.

  1. A lack of clarity about the idea or concept presented.

Is the idea or concept being stated clear to others? Has the presenter explained this in a way that everyone understands? If you have a person who cannot state ideas succinctly, this is enough to cause others to discount their message. If you have someone on the team who takes too much space in explaining concepts, here is a “cheat sheet” to help them frame their message in a way that is more concise and convincing.

  1. A lack of understanding as to the business impact or benefits to the organization.

Do people understand how the topic at hand impacts the business? When exploring ideas to support decisions, it is important to connect the dots. How will the idea being presented benefit and impact the organization? What negative realities will need to be dealt with if the overall concept is of value? Asking these questions can help your team think beyond the immediate.

  1. Bias around the message bearer.

It is important for team members to check in on this. We all carry bias. The question is, how do we choose to handle it? Notice if you discount messages coming from any particular team member due to your personal bias about them. How can you give space and compassion to that person and consider the idea they are presenting? This is perhaps the toughest of the five roadblocks, and yet, the most beneficial when we begin to adopt a stance reflecting more empathy and compassion.

  1. Conflict with a personal agenda or conviction.

If a concept is presented that moves counter to the way your own area of responsibility operates, it is enough to cause internal conflict and an aversion to remain open to possibility. Most of us are inclined to respond with statements such as, “Well, that will never work because…” or “We just don’t do things that way…”

Consider replacing these kinds of statements with those such as, “How would that work? What might the benefits be?” This helps you and others stay in the conversation and play with possibilities that could be game changers for your business and the impact it has on the world.

  1. A lack of willingness to embrace change

Change is really tough, and it is not fun. Why? We are creatures of habit and love our comfort zones. Yet, change is when exciting things can happen, and we can take advantage of the opportunity to grow. Check yourself when you feel resistance to change. Recognize where you are in the change cycle on the particular issue being addressed. Then ask yourself what possible benefit you and the organization might enjoy if the change takes place. Awareness around your own resistance and how to manage it if you see benefit are empowering.

Only after these roadblocks have been addressed can you actually move forward to play well as a team and make good decisions together. I challenge you to discuss these factors with your team to begin a new way of approaching and implementing your decision-making together.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Making Your Leadership Vision Work

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Making Your Leadership Vision Work
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Your leadership vision must be bold, compelling, and achievable. These are the things that will inspire, motivate, and drive your team for excellent performance.

To lead your organization into the future, this is crucial.

Most of you reading this can affirm that your own leadership vision meets these criteria.

You articulate the vision relentlessly.

You’ve defined the organizational goals to support it.

Your team is fired up and ready to go.

What are you missing?

You are missing the one thing that you and your team need in order to achieve the business imperative.

The team culture shift.

The team culture shift answers the questions:

  • Together, who do we need to become in order to make this work?
  • What specific changes in behaviors and interactions, in ways we relate to one another, do we need to meet the business imperative?
  • What behavioral changes do I as leader need to make in order to support this team culture shift?

Begin your team evaluation by examining and discussing the following:

  1. Do we deliver acceptable outputs to the client (internal or external)?

If not, why not? Examples of behaviors that can interfere are:

    • Team complacency. This is especially prevalent where team members have been with the organization for several years. Signs this may be happening are a slowness to adopt new systems, or a poor ability to handle transitions.
    • Team victim mentality. As a group, your team may be suffering from a victim mentality, unable to look past assumptions and biases to see how things might work differently.
    • Myopic team lens. Is the team willing to step outside its comfort zone to reach new stretch goals, or does their messaging reflect an inability or reticence to grasp the “why” of the business imperative?

  1. Do we work together in a way that creates and fosters a cohesive team for the long term?

If not, why not? Examples of behaviors that can interfere are:

    • Power coalitions within your larger team that defer mostly to each other. These coalitions tend to stick to their small group without wider acknowledgement or connection with other team members.
    • Competing factions within your team. These are team members who are passionate about their own viewpoints, but slow to collaborate to reach agreement.
    • Conversations in all the wrong places. This dynamic can occur when one team member has a personal agenda that vies with the larger leadership agenda. It can also take place when members simply don’t feel like they have a voice in the collective or they fear not being valued in the group.

  1. Does each of us as an individual team member contribute to have positive impact on the other team members?

If not, why not? Examples of behaviors that can interfere are:

    • Collaboration sabotage. Do you have someone on the team who continues to silo in order to showcase his or her team’s own accomplishments above the rest? Do you have someone who throws people under the proverbial bus?
    • Lip service. Is there someone who provides a lot of affirmation, but is revealed later to have a different agenda? Or do you have a team member who promises a lot, but is poor in delivery?
    • Lack of organizational awareness. Do you have team members who demonstrate that they are unable to keep the larger picture in mind as they work? Signs of this may be an inability to work through inter-team conflict or to understand and consider the business impact their team results have on the other teams within the organization.

As you begin to identify together the team behaviors and interactions that need to shift in order to work more effectively, remember to evaluate what you as leader need to shift in order to support this change. Consider areas such as how you make decisions, delegate, empower, and hold others accountable.

And since we all have blind spots, ask your team for their feedback on this. What do you need to shift or change in order to support them best?

To your leadership vision success!

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

What’s Not Going to Change for Your Leadership

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What’s Not Going to Change for Your Leadership
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Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, once observed that he is frequently asked what would change in the next 10 years.

His answer has really influenced the way I approach my work with CEOs and their teams to make change.

Jeff said, “I almost never get the question: ‘What’s not going to change in the next 10 years?’ And I submit to you that that second question is actually the more important of the two — because you can build a business strategy around the things that are stable in time…

“In our retail business, we know that customers want low prices, and I know that’s going to be true 10 years from now. They want fast delivery; they want vast selection. It’s impossible to imagine a future 10 years from now where a customer comes up and says, ‘Jeff I love Amazon; I just wish the prices were a little higher,’ [or] ‘I love Amazon; I just wish you’d deliver a little more slowly.’ Impossible.

“And so the effort we put into those things, spinning those things up, we know the energy we put into it today will still be paying off dividends for our customers 10 years from now. When you have something that you know is true, even over the long term, you can afford to put a lot of energy into it.” (Source: Jeff Bezos at reInvent, November 2012)

How does this relate to leadership?

Character.

In a world of variables, character is the foundation of excellent leadership. And this will never change.

Is your foundation firm?

If you are a regular reader, you receive regular leadership tips and tools on how to be effective.  I write about problem-solving, making change, confrontation and critical conversations (and more!) – all skills and competencies that you as leader must manage effectively.

But unless you possess the strength of character to put these tools to work, your results in these areas and all others will be compromised.

Why don’t leaders and their teams give greater focus to this? Well, character is hard to define. And measuring it also becomes a question.

This means that these decision-makers tend to shy away from it and turn to other aspects of development to their own detriment.

Ivey Business School’s professors Crossan, Gandz, and Seijts remind us, “When it comes to leadership, competencies determine what a person can do. Commitment determines what they want to do, and character determines what they will do.” (Crossan, Gandz, and Seijts, Developing Leadership Character, Ivey Business Journal, January/February 2012).

There are 10 leadership virtues, a key part of character, that Crossan, Gandz and Seijts have identified:

  • Humility is essential to learning and becoming a better leader.
  • Integrity is essential to building trust and encouraging others to collaborate.
  • Collaboration enables teamwork.
  • Justice yields decisions that are accepted as legitimate and reasonable by others.
  • Courage helps leaders make difficult decisions and challenge the decisions or actions of others.
  • Temperance ensures that leaders take reasonable risks.
  • Accountability ensures that leaders own and commit to the decisions they make and encourages the same in others.
  • Humanity builds empathy and understanding of others.
  • Transcendence equips the leader with a sense of optimism and purpose.
  • Judgment allows leaders to balance and integrate these virtues in ways that serve the needs of multiple stakeholders in and outside their organizations.

And now, let’s examine how they outline that these affect leadership:


(Source: Crossan, Gandz, and Seijts, Developing Leadership Character, Ivey Business Journal, January/February 2012)

You can see how these character traits undergird all that you undertake, and this will not change.

Which of these leadership character traits needs sharpening for you? Your team? Decide to give greater focus to this. Because taking your organization into the future will always begin – and end – with character.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

When Your Executive Drops the Ball

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When Your Executive Drops the Ball
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Every leader has encountered a situation where one of his executive team members has messed up. It happens.

The problem is, in the heat of the moment, if the blooper is big, we might tend to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

Statements such as “I can’t believe you did that!” or “What were you thinking?” can really shut down any further dialogue. They can also fuel negative emotions and shame. These don’t help the situation.

What can you do to avoid creating more problems?

How can you respond in a supportive and proactive way so that the two of you can work from mess to solution?

Here are three questions that make this simpler than you think, helping you to turn a “bungle” into a positive coaching opportunity.

1. Focus on desired outcomes.

Pause. Breathe. Then, ask yourself, “What outcome do we need to achieve here?” This will help quell your emotions and keep dialogue productive.

2. Focus on the future.

Ask your executive, “What do we need to do from here?” This allows the executive to see that you are working as a team. At the same time, you are encouraging your executive’s critical thinking skills and problem-solving abilities.

3. Focus on support.

Follow with the question, “How can I help?” Reinforce your show of support and your confidence in the executive’s ability to move forward.

The way you handle crisis can be alienating or team-strengthening. You’ll also be modeling this for others, fostering trust and support for growth in your organization.

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Three Lifestyle Habits to Keep Your Leadership Sharp

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Three Lifestyle Habits to Keep Your Leadership Sharp
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As a leader, how do you stay sharp and energized?

In studying great leaders, three habits seem to support this, with some of these leaders having taken it to a science.

What are these three habits, and how can you capitalize on the experience of the greats?

  1. Reading to Nourish Your Leadership Lens

Great leaders read daily. Bill Gates reads about 50 books yearly. He told Time magazine that reading is essential for success. Elon Musk shares that reading is what taught him how to build rockets. Warren Buffett, who reads about 500 pages daily, says, “That’s how knowledge works. It builds up like compound interest.”

I agree. Whatever you feed your brain is what it uses to operate. This is true for the food you eat and the information you absorb. If you are not taking the time to ingest new information to keep learning and to help you make best decisions, you are not growing. Stagnant leadership is dying leadership.

Here are tips to begin your reading habit.

    • Research what some of the great leaders are reading. Then do likewise. You can expand from there.
    • Set a timer. This is a habit to feed your brain, just like exercise is a habit to keep your body in shape. Begin with 30 minutes and set a timer so that you can focus on what you are reading.
    • Read three chapters before you decide whether you will finish the book. Sometimes you will begin a book that is just not inspiring. When this happens, give it three chapters just to make sure, and then set it aside for another if the selection is stale.

  1. Rituals to Stay Grounded in Turbulent Times

Rituals are as old as mankind. There are many kinds of rituals, such as those that increase confidence or ease grieving. There are those that signify an end or beginning to a life chapter. You and I may have personal rituals including actions such as wearing lucky socks before a big event. Rituals are cultural markers that involve activity tied to some sort of meaning. The wonderful thing about these is that they can also provide grounding and a sense of control.

Arianna Huffington is one leader who firmly believes in ritual. In fact, under her direction, the Huffington Post offers regular yoga and meditation classes, as well as nap rooms, to its employees. Building in one of these activities on a regular basis serves to bring balance and well-being to those who participate. Richard Branson claims he does his best thinking when he adds the ritual of movement, such as taking a walk.

Here are some ideas for you as you think about establishing your own rituals.

    • Decide how you would like to celebrate. Is it important to you to celebrate accomplishments? Important dates? Identify what is meaningful to you and then develop a ritual to mark the event.
    • Identify how you will center yourself. Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction (MBSR) is a wonderful way to calm anxiety or quiet the world. Developed by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn in the 1970s at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, MBSR was originally intended for people suffering from anxiety, depression, and pain. It has proven incredibly successful, and today, is also taught in almost every community as a way to alleviate stress and develop mindfulness.
    • Practice sharing a meaningful ritual with others so that it becomes part of your company or family culture. Sharing brings a sense of belonging and connection which is powerful and sorely needed in today’s world.

  1. Replenishing the Leadership Engine

Rest is key for rejuvenation and to re-energize. Just as your car needs energy to operate, so do you. Are you truly getting the quality and amount of sleep you need? Sleep deprivation interferes directly with focus and executive reasoning. This means your performance – and that of your business, in turn – is at stake.

McKinsey conducted a study of 196 business leaders and discovered that two-thirds were dissatisfied with the quantity of sleep they got, and 55% were not happy with the quality of their sleep. Yet, the compelling evidence shows that a lack of sleep on the part of a leader directly impacts organizational performance. What can you do about this?

Here are some tips to get you started on the road to better sleep habits.

    • Target the optimal seven to nine hours of sleep per night. If you have claimed in the past that you “only need six hours” or whatever your number is, you need to let that idea go. Experts show that anything less than seven hours is simply not enough, and you are systematically weakening your brain and body’s abilities to function over time.
    • Keep your bedroom cool and the lights off. Any compromise to darkness will compromise a sound sleep. This includes removing your cell phone from the bedroom. The stress and stimulation it represents, in addition to the blue light it gives off when alerts come through, is enough to interfere with your ability to relax and stay asleep.
    • We have all heard that best sleep hours occur before midnight, so one should go to bed early. Yet many of us may be nocturnal or find this impractical. Decide the block of time that is right for you, and then allot enough time to meet your sleep quota.

Staying sharp means discipline. And discipline is what we see the best leaders reflect as they make change around the world. Taking the time to develop this will mean the difference between good and great. As you review the three lifestyle habits of best leaders above, where will you start?

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.