humility

The Power of Self-Accountability: True Leadership Begins with the Person in the Mirror

September 11, 2024 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

When it comes to leadership, there’s a lot of talk about accountability. You’ve probably heard it in meetings, seen it in performance reviews, and maybe even mentioned it yourself when discussing team dynamics. But let’s be honest—most of us view accountability through a very narrow lens. We think about how accountable others are to us. We analyze our team members, colleagues, and even our bosses, scrutinizing their actions and decisions.

Here’s the reality: true leadership doesn’t start with holding others accountable. It begins with holding yourself accountable.

The Mirror Test

Imagine this scenario: You’re a leader facing a major challenge. The project deadline is looming, and your team is behind schedule. The temptation is strong to point fingers, to find out who dropped the ball. But before you do that, stop and take a good, long look in the mirror. What do you see? Are you holding yourself accountable for the role you’ve played in this situation? Have you set clear expectations, provided the necessary support, and modeled the behavior you expect from your team?

Self-accountability is the foundation of effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and acknowledging your mistakes. It’s not easy, and it requires a level of humility that many leaders find uncomfortable. But it’s absolutely essential if you want to lead with integrity and earn the trust of your team.

The Perils of Passing the Buck

In today’s fast-paced business environment, it’s easy to get caught up in the blame game. When things go wrong, our first instinct is often to find someone to blame. Maybe it’s a team member who didn’t deliver on time, or a colleague who didn’t communicate effectively. But passing the buck is a dangerous habit that can quickly erode trust and undermine your leadership.

When leaders blame others, they create a culture of fear and defensiveness. Team members become more concerned with covering their tracks than with collaborating and innovating. Worse, the leader’s credibility takes a hit. People start to see you as someone who shirks responsibility and avoids difficult conversations. Over time, this erodes the trust that’s critical for any high-performing team.

But what if, instead of blaming others, you took ownership of the situation? What if you acknowledged your role in the problem and committed to finding a solution? This kind of self-accountability is not only refreshing—it’s empowering. It sets the tone for your team and shows them that you’re willing to do the hard work of leadership.

The Intersection of Honesty and Humility

Self-accountability is grounded in two key principles: honesty and humility. Honesty means being truthful with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures. It’s about recognizing when you’ve made a mistake and being willing to admit it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Humility, on the other hand, is about understanding that leadership isn’t about you—it’s about the people you serve. It’s about putting the needs of your team ahead of your own ego and being open to feedback, even when it’s critical. Together, honesty and humility create a powerful foundation for self-accountability.

But let’s be clear—this isn’t about self-flagellation or dwelling on your mistakes. It’s about learning from them and using those lessons to become a better leader. It’s about setting a standard of excellence for yourself and your team and holding yourself to that standard every day.

The Real Problem: Fear of Failure

One of the biggest obstacles to self-accountability is the fear of failure. As leaders, we’re often so focused on achieving success that we become paralyzed by the thought of making a mistake. We worry that admitting our failures will make us look weak or incompetent. But the truth is, everyone makes mistakes. What sets great leaders apart is their willingness to own those mistakes and learn from them.

When you hold yourself accountable, you’re not just admitting that you’re human—you’re also demonstrating resilience and a commitment to growth. You’re showing your team that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you’re willing to take responsibility and work to improve. This kind of leadership fosters a culture of trust and continuous improvement, where team members feel safe to take risks and innovate.

Solutions: Cultivating Self-Accountability

So, how can you cultivate self-accountability in your leadership? It starts with a few simple practices that you can incorporate into your daily routine.

Regular Self-Reflection: Take time each day to reflect on your actions and decisions. Ask yourself, “What did I do well today? Where could I have done better? Did I hold myself to the standard I expect from others?” This simple practice can help you stay aligned with your values and identify areas for growth.
Seek Feedback: Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback from your team, colleagues, and mentors. Listen to what they have to say, and be open to their perspectives. Remember, feedback is a gift—it’s an opportunity to learn and improve.
Own Your Mistakes: When you make a mistake, admit it. Don’t make excuses or blame others. Instead, focus on what you can do to fix the problem and prevent it from happening again. This kind of ownership is a powerful way to build trust and credibility with your team.
Model Accountability: Lead by example. Show your team what self-accountability looks like in action. When they see you taking responsibility for your actions, they’ll be more likely to do the same.

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, self-accountability is the key to effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and striving to improve every day. It’s not always easy, but it’s the foundation on which trust, respect, and long-term success are built. So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge, don’t look to place the blame—look in the mirror. That’s where true leadership begins.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

How to Prepare for Unexpected Change

November 6, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Change is inevitable. As the world changes, so we must adapt. When you lead, this means change management on a large scale. When you aren’t in charge, it means that you must know what to anticipate so that you can lower your own stress and support your team through the process.

How do you plan for change, even if it’s unexpected?

Understanding the four stages of change will help you to meet it proactively so that you can avoid pitfall and accelerate positive outcomes.

The Change Curve – the Four Stages of Change

The Change Curve is a popular model that explains how organizations and people move through change. It’s helpful to understand so that you can help lead change – whether or not you are in charge. There are many variations of this, but we think that Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, well-known for her work on personal transitions with grief and bereavement, was the originator of the concept.

The Change Curve outlines four stages that people experience as they adjust and adapt to change. I’ve placed recommendations behind each of these to share how you can develop a framework for a change plan if and when change must occur.

Stage 1. Shock and Denial.

This is a time to reinforce trust. Keep the vision and mission in front and reinforce stability. Exhibit authenticity through open and timely communication throughout all levels of the business. The communications need to share what the change is, why it is needed, and the benefits to this. Share what you do know and what you don’t know. Built trust through sharing how and when they can anticipate more answers as you know them.

When you are in charge, you will want to make sure that these communications are shared in a timely way with your team, and that you allow time for questions and discussion. Be transparent by identifying those answers you don’t have, rather than trying to come up with a slick answer. Keep your door open. Remind them that change is constant, and that you are confident you and the team can work through this.

When someone else is in charge, be authentic through asking your questions during the group’s meeting time instead of doing this in corners outside the meeting. This keeps the team intact and allows all to benefit from discussing the topic and learning from it. Decide that you can use this change to showcase your knowledge and skills, and that if some of those are not yet learned, that this is an opportunity to do so.

Stage 2. Reactions and Resistance.

Understand that the threat of change can be real. People will wonder how they need to shift or change their way of working in order to remain effective. And some may even fear losing their position. This is a time when you will want to draw from empathy and compassion as performance may dip temporarily. Put yourself in the shoes of others and be tough on issues, tender on people.

When you are in charge, encourage your people by touching base more frequently with them, asking how you can help. Remember that as people struggle to adapt, they may exhibit additional stress in different ways. Stay focused on the issue and not the personality as you manage this.

When someone else is in charge, check your attitude. Keep the bigger picture in mind and support your colleagues through positive thoughts and language. If someone appears to have a rough moment or day, ask if you can help, rather than to avoid them.

Stage 3. Turning Point to Acceptance.

Change requires courage and humility. Taking on new ways of operating together, of performing work means making mistakes and pushing through until success is met.

When you are in charge, admit that mistakes will be made and that this is a time of learning. Show your courage and humility by sharing a bit of how you are learning as well. Continue to communicate frequently and to acknowledge wins and positive behaviors in the team.

When someone else is in charge, recall how you have successfully moved through change in the past and hold realistic expectations for your learning. Ask your leader how you are doing and check in as you need to in order to get a pulse on anything you need to do differently at this stage.

Stage 4. Embracing and Managing Change.

Motivation is key here (and of course, it is key all through the four stages!). Acknowledging wins and linking these wins to results needs to be stressed. As people master new ways of doing and operating individually and together, these culture shifts in mindset and behaviors can falter under stress. Sharing incremental wins and the results they engender is key.

When you are in charge, recognition is key here. Any incremental wins, results, in behaviors such as heightened teamwork, performance, mastery of a skill or effective problem-solving is fair game for celebration. Share these celebrations with your team as a way to motivate them and move them forward.

When someone else is in charge, pat yourself on the back as you master a step in a new process or way of doing. As you notice the positive aspects of working together on projects or initiatives, recognize this and acknowledge it to those involved. Celebrate to reinforce and motivate yourself and others.

Change can be challenging, but change can be exciting. It’s an opportunity to learn, grow, and to celebrate this. It can provide career opportunities, help the business to make greater impact on community and society. Making change should always mean making things better. Approaching this in a proactive way is always much more rewarding.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

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Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

What’s Not Going to Change for Your Leadership

September 25, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, once observed that he is frequently asked what would change in the next 10 years.

His answer has really influenced the way I approach my work with CEOs and their teams to make change.

Jeff said, “I almost never get the question: ‘What’s not going to change in the next 10 years?’ And I submit to you that that second question is actually the more important of the two — because you can build a business strategy around the things that are stable in time…

“In our retail business, we know that customers want low prices, and I know that’s going to be true 10 years from now. They want fast delivery; they want vast selection. It’s impossible to imagine a future 10 years from now where a customer comes up and says, ‘Jeff I love Amazon; I just wish the prices were a little higher,’ [or] ‘I love Amazon; I just wish you’d deliver a little more slowly.’ Impossible.

“And so the effort we put into those things, spinning those things up, we know the energy we put into it today will still be paying off dividends for our customers 10 years from now. When you have something that you know is true, even over the long term, you can afford to put a lot of energy into it.” (Source: Jeff Bezos at reInvent, November 2012)

How does this relate to leadership?

Character.

In a world of variables, character is the foundation of excellent leadership. And this will never change.

Is your foundation firm?

If you are a regular reader, you receive regular leadership tips and tools on how to be effective. I write about problem-solving, making change, confrontation and critical conversations (and more!) – all skills and competencies that you as leader must manage effectively.

But unless you possess the strength of character to put these tools to work, your results in these areas and all others will be compromised.

Why don’t leaders and their teams give greater focus to this? Well, character is hard to define. And measuring it also becomes a question.

This means that these decision-makers tend to shy away from it and turn to other aspects of development to their own detriment.

Ivey Business School’s professors Crossan, Gandz, and Seijts remind us, “When it comes to leadership, competencies determine what a person can do. Commitment determines what they want to do, and character determines what they will do.” (Crossan, Gandz, and Seijts, Developing Leadership Character, Ivey Business Journal, January/February 2012).

There are 10 leadership virtues, a key part of character, that Crossan, Gandz and Seijts have identified:

Humility is essential to learning and becoming a better leader.
Integrity is essential to building trust and encouraging others to collaborate.
Collaboration enables teamwork.
Justice yields decisions that are accepted as legitimate and reasonable by others.
Courage helps leaders make difficult decisions and challenge the decisions or actions of others.
Temperance ensures that leaders take reasonable risks.
Accountability ensures that leaders own and commit to the decisions they make and encourages the same in others.
Humanity builds empathy and understanding of others.
Transcendence equips the leader with a sense of optimism and purpose.
Judgment allows leaders to balance and integrate these virtues in ways that serve the needs of multiple stakeholders in and outside their organizations.

And now, let’s examine how they outline that these affect leadership:

(Source: Crossan, Gandz, and Seijts, Developing Leadership Character, Ivey Business Journal, January/February 2012)

You can see how these character traits undergird all that you undertake, and this will not change.

Which of these leadership character traits needs sharpening for you? Your team? Decide to give greater focus to this. Because taking your organization into the future will always begin – and end – with character.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

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Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

When Servant Leadership Doesn’t Work

October 3, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

It is said that servant leaders – those who truly lead from the heart – are the most effective.

Indeed, inspiring and influencing others to rise to their personal and collective best yields much greater results. And frankly, this makes a significant impact in the lives of those who are part of this, as well as those clients who benefit.

But there are situations when such leadership does not work.

How can you tell whether to adopt this style or not?

First, servant leadership is a philosophy that genuinely puts people first, takes a keen interest in their development, and embraces shared power rather than a hierarchical style.

In fact, leading from the heart – another way to describe servant leadership at its finest – requires embracing and modeling 7 traits:

Trust
Authenticity
Empathy
Compassion
Humility
Courage
Motivation

The problem is, when leaders don’t incorporate all 7 traits, the power of leading from the heart is compromised.

The question becomes, “Are you willing to work on adopting all 7 traits?”

Ask yourself the following:

Trust – do my directives and communication reflect integrity? Are these consistent, and if not, am I willing to course-correct this with others so that I build trust with them?
Authenticity – do I come from “center” with ease, not trying to emulate the style or persona of others?
Empathy – can I easily detect the emotions of others, place myself in their shoes, and affirm them?
Compassion – do my decisions and actions reflect that I put people first?
Humility – do I respect others as much as I do myself, and can I recognize their gifts and talents as much as my own? Do I realize that without my team and the employee base that we could not accomplish what we do?
Courage – am I willing to confront the tough stuff, even when the topic and decisions I may need to make are not popular ones?
Motivation – am I motivated first by what is best for the organization, or am I preoccupied with what is best for me?

If you are willing to sharpen these 7 traits, you will find that your team and culture will reflect greater satisfaction, higher engagement, and the innovative spark to help you and the organization meet the future.

Which of these traits is most important for you to work on as you begin to up-level your leadership?

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

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Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Why Humble Leadership is Underrated

September 12, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

When people hear the words “humility” and “leadership” in the same sentence, it’s often hard for them to grapple.

But this leadership trait is misunderstood – and underrated.

If you’ve been thinking that you need more charisma and a touch more swagger in order to instill confidence and trust in your followers, think again.

Possessing humility is often perceived as weak and unsure, or lacking confidence. And certainly, if you appear to be a pushover, you will soon be disregarded and dismissed.

However, humility does not mean you are a doormat. Instead, it means to keep your gifts and talents in perspective, recognizing those of others as equally valuable. A humble leader is outwardly focused and oriented toward others, keeping their welfare in mind.

Sadly, we have long been drawn to the “celebrity effect” of those who exhibit great charm and big personality. Throughout history, we have migrated toward those with an extra dose of narcissism, equating this with know-how, expertise, and the confidence to see things through.

Indeed, a certain “swagger” can be productive. Changemakers such as Napoléon Bonaparte, John D. Rockefeller, and Steve Jobs have made great impact. Jack Welch and George Soros, whether you agree with their approach or not, are gifted strategists who are creating legacy through seeing the big picture and taking the risks necessary to make change.

Yet, such narcissism has its dark side, as well, including the leader being highly distrustful and emotionally isolated. Narcissistic leaders can begin to believe they are larger than life and develop Hubris Syndrome, which can stunt and cripple an organization’s effectiveness. Such leaders focus strongly on their own value and ideas and eclipse the value and contributions of others. Their self-management can decrease to the point where sudden outbursts and raging are considered acceptable to them – as long as it is they who are doing the raging. Such a lack of relational skills can be extremely damaging to others and to the enterprise.

Conversely, the humble leader learns from criticism and admits mistakes. He empowers followers to learn and develop and listens to the perspectives of others to broaden possibilities. He holds employees responsible for results and takes his own personal risks for the greater good.

As we connect these dots, we can see how followers would be inspired to commit to a humble leader. Such an approach would create a positive and supportive culture. And within the organizational structure, when this is present, the employee body responds favorably as a whole, with greater commitment, engagement, productivity, creativity and innovation…all the things that a business needs to head successfully into the future.

Indeed, the benefits of humility on a large scale is exposed through Jim Collins’ research. In his book Good to Great, the author studied nearly 1,500 companies over 30 years. The companies he selected were considered of average or near average performance just prior to a transition. However, after the transition point, they outperformed the market by nearly three times over the 15 years that followed.

Collins asked why.

What was the difference in those that made this amazing shift – and those that did not? His researchers found two distinct characteristics among the leaders of these companies: humility and a steely determination to do the right thing for the company, no matter how painful.

What is your humility quotient? Ask yourself the following questions:

Do I recognize the value of others’ contributions?
Do I invite people to voice their ideas and challenges?
Do I seek feedback regularly and act on it?
Do I listen to various perspectives with the mindset of learning something new?
Do I admit my mistakes when I discover my behaviors or actions are faulty?
Do I change direction when I find I am leading down the wrong path?
Do I work for the good of the organization and not for myself?

Begin to refocus on the examples of great leaders such as Benjamin Franklin and Mahatma Gandhi. What about them can you emulate more?

Learn from great leaders such as George Washington, who admitted imperfection, but changed course. At a certain point in his career, Washington realized that his ambition outperformed his virtue. When he made the shift to a more humble leadership approach by serving others and the cause of justice, he changed the course of history.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.