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What is Holding You Back from Your Big Leap?

August 11, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

What's holding you back?

It May Not Be What You Think

There is a profound book by Gay Hendricks called The Big Leap. In it, he identifies a phenomenon that occurs as people reach a certain point of growth in business or in their personal lives. He calls it the “Upper Limit Problem.” It manifests itself in many forms, from worry to criticism to physical injury or illness. He lists other common manifestations.

Let’s examine the life of Teresa, for instance. Teresa has always worked hard. She started a business and, being the hard worker that she was, it took off immediately. An hour before her first major client interview, Teresa fell and injured her ankle. In immense pain, but not to be deterred, she proceeded with the meeting, and then promptly went to the hospital. It worked out well (except for the injured ankle, of course), as she landed the contract, which served as a major trajectory for her next level in business.

Several years later, she was at a second major growth point in her business. She had become much too busy to do everything herself, and the business had also outgrown her small team. About to make a major shift in her business, she fell once again. And once again, she broke her ankle.

Today, she laughs at the obvious sign of her “upper limit problem,” but does acknowledge the value in knowing it exists.

Maybe you have just been given a promotion – one that you have aspired to for a long time – but have suddenly found yourself out of sorts and being overly critical of yourself and others. Maybe you have been asked to lead a major initiative, only to find yourself battling a sudden and mysterious illness.

These are signs of an “upper limit problem,” and those are often rooted deeply in three causes.

  1. Life Experience

As an example, many of us grew up as children or grandchildren of Depression era parents or grandparents. That era had a significant impact on how people viewed work and money. Let’s say you were heavily influenced by your parents of that era, who always reminded you to work hard, save for a rainy day, and protect your money because it could be gone in an instant. Following their advice, you have worked very hard to get to a level of lucrative success, only to have a constant, nagging worry that you will lose it all somehow. This is where your upper limit problem reveals itself. When you do get a substantial raise, if you are not careful, you will sabotage yourself and lose it.

  1. Personal Confidence

If you find yourself hitting a glass ceiling over and over again, yet never being able to push beyond it, you may have a personal confidence issue that is coming across to those who are making decisions regarding placement. There are image consultants out there who can help you look good, speak well, and walk confidently into a room, but if you do not have confidence on the inside, it will reveal itself on the outside. And here’s the thing…you may not even realize it is happening.

  1. Lack of Support

There are points of change in life where we want to make the “big leap,” but we are not sure we can do it. Change is challenging. Do something now to prepare for it. Create a strong inner circle, a group of mentors and trusted confidants who will help you get past that point when you can’t do it alone. We gain strength from the confidence of others when we do not have it in ourselves.

I encourage you to think about the following question, and push yourself to answer until you get to its roots. It is a profoundly helpful exercise.

What is your upper limit problem, and where does it come from?

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I invite you to join our LinkedIn group for just this kind of support (click here). We are experienced professionals who understand what is required to make those big leaps. Join us and let us help you reach the levels you have always wanted to reach but have never been able to manifest. I look forward to having you there!

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Five Tips for Taking Control of a Hijacked Meeting

June 22, 2016 By Patti Cotton 1 Comment

Taking Back Control of a Hijacked Meeting

You have called the meeting to order, and you have much to review with your staff. You’ve promised to adjourn at the top of the hour, so you dive in at a fast clip.

As you introduce the first topic, one of the meeting participants interrupts you in mid-sentence, and dives into active monologue about an unrelated subject. Someone else chimes in about her remarks, and others begin to enter in.

How do you take back control?

Here are five tips for establishing control, and for taking it back when disruption occurs.

  1. First, taking back control actually begins before the meeting starts. Craft a carefully planned agenda to set parameters. Pass out copies of the agenda at the beginning of the meeting.
  2. Establish your meeting leadership from the start. Call the meeting to order on time, and announce that since the time allotted for the meeting is limited, you will be sticking closely to the agenda. Share that you will take questions at the end, and if the ensuing discussions during Q&A become too lengthy.
  3. Nip subtle disruption in the bud. Do you have a distracted participant who is texting or otherwise multi-tasking? Is someone quietly holding his own conversation in the back? Pause immediately when you recognize this, to state that you need everyone’s participation, and ask people to put their cell phones in “meeting mode”, and to plan to catch up with colleagues on other issues at break time. Be sure your voice tone and body language convey your confidence, warmth, and engagement. Eye contact is important here – people cannot remain anonymous when their eyes meet yours, and it can draw people’s focus subtly back into the meeting.
  4. Contain dangerous meeting personalities. Know the personalities of your meeting attendees, and recognize those who crave the spotlight. These dangerous meeting personalities are usually the hijackers that will follow their own agenda, regardless of yours. Have a task in the meeting such as taking notes, or assign them with a high-profile role, so that they are actively involved – and contained – through focused attention to their charge.
  5. Request order quickly and boldly when things are clearly out of control. You’ve stopped talking, your eyes are fixed on the hijacker, and you are doing a “stare-down,” waiting for her to get the hint. She doesn’t, and keeps her monologue going. Call her by name calmly and repeatedly until she pauses, and ask her to please save her comments for the “bin list” – that list of topics that arise during the meeting, and which are not part of the agenda. Share that in the interest of making sure you get everyone out on time, you can meet with her post-meeting to discuss her issue. Also consider addressing items from your bin list regularly when you have a shorter meeting.

And a bonus tip: Just because you are leading the meeting doesn’t mean you are allowed to hijack airtime. You will need meeting participation by all involved. So, as you prepare your meeting agenda, also identify 1-3 talking points for each item. Shorten these to pithy sound bytes, making them impactful and effective to keep focus and attention.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

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