executive leadership

How Do You Sustain Necessary Change?

June 29, 2022 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

You’ve made the changes. You have your business imperative in hand to keep you focused. You’ve aligned and coordinated your executive team around this business imperative. You’ve had some tough conversations to clear the air (and the plates), and you’ve identified the leadership behaviors necessary to support your team in making this happen.

But your team is scared. Or worse, they are at a point where they don’t trust this will work.

Michael, a well-respected CEO, had just led his executive team through these same steps. He was sick and tired of being in the weeds, feeling as though the company wasn’t meeting its business potential.

But his team was scared.

Sandra, his VP of marketing, spoke up. “We’ve gone through the exercise one too many times, and the changes sound great. We start out strong, then fizzle out. The changes we try to make don’t stick. I can’t even muster up the courage to try, this time.”

“Frankly, I’m skeptical, too” said Max, the COO. “We’ve tried and died quite a bit.”

“Patti,” Michael turned to me, “I may as well pack it up. If the team won’t commit, we aren’t going to make any progress.”

“Team,” I said, “Hold tight. There’s a last critical step in the process that ensures that you stay on the path. Most companies miss this step – and it makes all the difference.”

“I’m all ears,” said Candace, the CFO. “Because if this doesn’t work, I’m not sure I can retrieve any muster to move forward. At all.”

The room was quiet for a moment.

“I understand,” I said. “Change is hard. And unless we approach it in a way that supports its success, the discouragement is overwhelming. But hang on, please. Your track record is about to change.”

What did we do?

We created a system of accountability to hold the changes firmly in place. Because a change, no matter how big or small, requires a supportive system to allow it to become the norm.

And here’s how we did it for Michael’s team.

“Team,” I said, “You have taken the first 4 of 5 steps to make this work. Michael has created the company’s business imperative to set the direction (see Article 1 in this series). He has worked with you all to create and align your own business imperatives to support the larger one (see Article 2 in this series). You’ve surfaced some critical conversations that needed to be addressed in order to move forward (see Article 3 in this series). And you have identified how you need to work as a team in order to reach these goals (see Article 4 in this series). Now, it’s time for step 5: putting a system in place to keep you all on the path as you move into greater excellence.”

“I’m all ears, Patti,” said Candace. The others nodded.

“We are going to ask ourselves five questions as we review your goals and the changes you have identified that you need to make,” I said. “This will help us to create a system to hold the process – and ourselves – accountable. It will help us stay on track.”

Question 1: What are we measuring?

We worked to identify what we needed to measure in order to know that we were on the right path and moving at the right pace. What would we look for that measured success? We broke it down by quarter, and then by month, so we could course-correct in a timely manner if something was not working.

Question 2: Who needs to know?

We then identified key stakeholders for each initiative. Even though the team knew who was in charge of what, they did not always communicate to others who might be affected by the work. The team also identified how and when the stakeholders would communicate with each other and built this into their regular meeting agendas. Michael would review each team member’s progress for their area during their 1:1 meetings.

Question 3: How do we check on progress?

Michael took charge of this and built into the executive team’s monthly agenda discussion time to review the team’s alignment and coordination as they worked on goals. What was working? What needed refining or redirecting? The team looked at other feedback loop opportunities to make sure they could tap into needed information at any time.

Question 4: How do we support upgraded leadership behaviors?

The team recognized that working together at a higher level required higher skill-building. They asked me to work with them individually to break through any roadblocks holding them back, and to help them step into more effective leadership behaviors.

Question 5: What are the conversations we need to have now?

We agreed that I would also meet once quarterly with the team to work with them on any trust issues, as well as critical conversations and needed relational skill-building. Without this fifth step, a team does well at best, but never reaches its peak performance.

I’m happy to report that Michael and his team made incredible progress company- and team-wise in that first 12 months. And so, we decided to repeat this for Year 2, knowing that things would only continue to reach new and exciting heights. It is Year 3 for them, and they have established themselves as a leader in their industry.

Where in the process I have described above do you and your team excel? Where do you need to put a system in place, or to strengthen this so that it works well for you?

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Can You Be Angry and Still Lead Well?

January 15, 2020 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Can you lead well when you feel angry?

A corporate executive described himself as “useless” when he experienced upset.

When he felt angry, he found it difficult to make simple decisions and get regular work done.

Both his team and his family agreed that something needed to change.

The leader’s inability to manage his anger crippled his business, as decision-making and execution are critical to outcomes.

“How do you deal with anger and still lead well?”

That’s the question he asked when he first called for help.

“I’m in the middle of an expansion, Patti. Operating at my best is critical. How do I work around this thing?”

I responded, “You can’t work around it. In fact, the key idea here is to manage your emotions well. When you learn to do this, your decision-making and your ability to get work done will be much stronger than it ever has been.”

“I’m listening,” he said. “But it doesn’t sit well with me. When I am upset, I shut down. I actually feel numb, and it’s hard to think at all.”

He and I met to continue our conversation. He described himself as steady, even keeled in most all situations, and one who shied away from confrontations.

“I’m really pretty easy to get along with,” he said. “But I admit to having some hot buttons. It really gets me going when people are unreliable or untrustworthy. But that’s pretty normal, right?”

“Absolutely,” I said. “Those are some of my hot buttons, as well. How do you handle it when these things come up?”

“That’s where it gets difficult,” he explained. “I tend to stuff my irritation and ignore the problem. You can guess how that winds up. In fact, I hate to tell on myself, but I’ve allowed some pretty bad behavior on my team. As it worsens, I get angry. And then I just withdraw and shut down. When I’m hot under the collar, I can’t think. And then, with this expansion, I need everyone to just get on board and stop the nonsense. But they don’t. And that makes me angrier. And at a certain point, when my blood pressure can’t take it anymore, I simply numb out.”

“What’s worse is that when I go home, I think I can switch gears and shut the office out of my head. But my wife says this definitely doesn’t work. She says I don’t connect with the family – no conversation, just a low-hum heavy feeling in the air. I told her I was meeting with you to help me deal with this. She says to thank you in advance on behalf of the entire family. I had no idea it was affecting things that much.”

“So, here’s what I’m hearing,” I said. “You’ve just outlined what may be the chief reason for your company’s productivity loss, your executive team’s in-fighting, your lost deadlines holding back expansion – and your family life at home. That’s huge. You need more emotional agility, and you need it quickly.

“Emotional agility is the ability to navigate challenges by managing your inner game – your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.”

He stared at me with his mouth open. “I’ll do just about anything. I am seeing damage all around me from this. How do I turn this around? How do I get more emotional agility so that I can get things back on track?”

Over the next few months, he and I worked together on making friends with anger.

It sounds odd, but it isn’t. Emotions are powerful, and most of us simply don’t know how to harness this power. Emotions are simply a signal that alerts us when something affects us or our experience. Paying attention to these signals can sharpen our critical thinking and our execution.

But creating awareness around the emotions we are feeling and making friends with them as mere signals is just the first step.

The next step is crucial – managing your emotions.

And this step was indeed more challenging. Once he recognized that anger would help alert him to pay attention to something, he then needed to decide how to address the situation that was causing it.

As he and I identified biggest potential wins through managing his anger, confrontation was first. There was a key area within the executive team that had been left to fester.

He had to decide what he would expect of the two execs causing the trouble, to share it with them, and then to stand by this to enforce accountability.

Then, he needed to recognize how to make decisions, even in a “hot state.”

This meant recognizing and validating the emotion so that he could self-regulate (simmer down) and make decisions based on his values and not be driven by emotion.

Over the following months, the business began to respond positively at both individual and team levels, and the culture shift had significant impact on the company’s ability to expand and do it well.

He single-handedly turned the business around by managing his own leadership.

In confronting his own growth area, he created impact throughout the organization.

What one thing in your leadership could make a critical impact to your business or area of responsibility?

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

When Your Executive Drops the Ball

September 18, 2019 By Patti Cotton 1 Comment

Every leader has encountered a situation where one of his executive team members has messed up. It happens.

The problem is, in the heat of the moment, if the blooper is big, we might tend to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

Statements such as “I can’t believe you did that!” or “What were you thinking?” can really shut down any further dialogue. They can also fuel negative emotions and shame. These don’t help the situation.

What can you do to avoid creating more problems?

How can you respond in a supportive and proactive way so that the two of you can work from mess to solution?

Here are three questions that make this simpler than you think, helping you to turn a “bungle” into a positive coaching opportunity.

1. Focus on desired outcomes.

Pause. Breathe. Then, ask yourself, “What outcome do we need to achieve here?” This will help quell your emotions and keep dialogue productive.

2. Focus on the future.

Ask your executive, “What do we need to do from here?” This allows the executive to see that you are working as a team. At the same time, you are encouraging your executive’s critical thinking skills and problem-solving abilities.

3. Focus on support.

Follow with the question, “How can I help?” Reinforce your show of support and your confidence in the executive’s ability to move forward.

The way you handle crisis can be alienating or team-strengthening. You’ll also be modeling this for others, fostering trust and support for growth in your organization.

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Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Is Your Compassion Hurting You in the Workplace?

March 21, 2018 By Patti Cotton 1 Comment

Is your ability to have compassion for your colleagues hurting you?

Some of you have told me that when you show you care for others in the workplace, you become drained of energy. You discover you are the “go-to” person when problems arise or when people need a shoulder to cry on.

Others have told me it is hard to make tough decisions that could negatively affect others, and still feel compassionate.

If either of these situations hit close to home, don’t blame it on compassion.

Blame it on poor boundaries and a misunderstanding of what compassion really is.

Do you need to stop showing others you care? Not at all.

But when I talk about compassion in the workplace, a lot of people bristle and throw words like “soppy,” and “gutless” around.

“We had a ‘fluffy’ CEO,” said one manager. “Everyone loved him. But he could never make the tough decisions we needed in order to hold people accountable.”

Others roll their eyes and tell me that when they show compassion, an endless stream of needy people line up at the office door for counseling, advice, and a sympathetic ear.

“I’m absolutely spent,” said Jan. “People have so many problems and see me as a mentor. I can be there for them because I listen well and really care about the people here. But it seems like when one problem disappears, another arrives, and they are back at my door the next week with something else.”

However, compassion is anything but gutless or fluffy. And it is not being the “therapist on call.”

True compassion takes great courage to embody – and it’s vital to good leadership.

Compassion means to hold others with positive intent, to feel concern for their well-being.

It does not mean to be on call to fix others’ problems. And it doesn’t mean avoiding making the right decisions even though some may not like how it affects them. It simply means that you need to care about others and hold them in positive light.

So what does compassion really look like in the workplace? And how do you practice it?

Here is a quick checklist for you to sharpen your ability to show compassion and keep healthy boundaries:

1. When others bring you their problems, ask yourself the following:

a. Am I the right person to address this problem?

People may come to you because you have an ability to listen and sift through problems. However, the issue they bring to you might belong in another office. Is the problem of a work nature, and if so, who is the right decision-maker that can help them resolve it? Is the problem of a personal nature, and thus better discussed with those parties directly involved, or with a counselor? Begin to triage in this way so that you can redirect as appropriate.

b. Is the person bringing me the problem asking for help in solving it?

Sometimes, people just want a sympathetic ear. However, if you have someone who continues to come to you about a particular problem because you are good listener, you may want to ask them what they want to do about the situation. People can develop a chronic need for sympathy.

c. And finally, fixing others’ problems for them when they should be stretching their problem-solving skills doesn’t help them to grow.

Allow your employees and colleagues to “adult” by taking a coaching approach. Learn to ask them questions, such as, “How do you feel this should be handled? What possible solutions have you thought about?”

Then, if they are still stumped and you are the appropriate party to help them address the problem, help them to brainstorm with more possibilities, if needed.

2. Holding people accountable is compassionate and, you might say, the ultimate way to love others.

Confronting the tough stuff that holds your employees back will allow them to grow into more of their potential, be a greater contributor to their team, and thus support the enterprise more effectively. And that means that everybody wins.

3. Making tough decisions that may adversely affect some of your employees doesn’t mean you don’t care about them.

It means you ultimately care about everyone. Supporting a healthy enterprise provides good and meaningful work for the people who work there. Pleasing some people to the exclusion of the current and future health of the organization means hurting everyone.

Where in your practice of compassion do you need to recalibrate?

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Beware of Hubris Syndrome

February 28, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

You have a successful track record. Your company is doing well. But over a period of time, you have lost touch with your employees.

In fact, when you aren’t in the room, they may describe you as “calloused” or uncaring.

But they don’t know what it takes to run a business. You can’t always stop to be warm and fuzzy with everyone.

Is that true?

Not necessarily.

You may be suffering from the beginnings of hubris syndrome.

Neuroscientist Sukhvinder Obhi has found that power damages our mirror-neurological activity — the neurological function that indicates the ability to understand and associate with others.

“David Owen, a British physician and parliamentarian, has dubbed this phenomenon hubris syndrome. He defines this as a ‘disorder of the possession of power, particularly power which has been associated with overwhelming success, held for a period of years.’” (Hougaard, et al).

Are some people just born with an inability to handle power?

Or is a hardened profile required to rise to – and stay at the top?

Hubris syndrome is actually an acquired personality change in people who assume positions of power. There are a few key symptoms that indicate one is suffering from this, and one particularly dark side to it is an inability to have compassion for other people. This can lead to devastating effects, and we’ve all witnessed this. Martin Winterkorn and the Volkswagen scandal. Martin Shkreli of Turing Pharmaceuticals. Hisao Tanaka of Toshiba.

These business leaders are among those who, over time, developed a greed and lust for more power. This caused them to lose their ability to feel compassion for others.

And the results were disastrous.

You are probably saying that you could never turn into a Winterkorn or Shkreli. And hopefully, you are right. However, if you have been in a position of power for some time, you will want to check on your ability to feel and exercise compassion.

Compassion moves beyond empathy, which is the ability to read and feel the emotions of others.

Compassion is a proactive commitment to contribute to the happiness and well-being of others. It’s an intentional attitude that, through regular practice, can be strengthened and become the hallmark of your leadership.

Here are some first steps to begin cultivating your compassion:

1. Seek to support others in your connections.

Each time you interact with others, begin by asking yourself, “How can I be of benefit to this person?” This turns your focus outward and strengthens your intentional commitment to their happiness.

2. Identify a family member who could use some support, or someone in your work who is a difficult personality.

Meditate on that person and send caring thoughts about their well-being. A common intention that people hold for this particular exercise is to repeat the statement, “May you be free from suffering. May you have joy and ease.”

3. Exercise compassion for yourself.

Where are you lacking compassion for yourself? Identify where you might be holding yourself to an impossible standard, or figuratively beating yourself up for past mistakes. Forgive yourself and move forward. Unless we can forgive our own errors, we cannot really do so for others.

You will notice as you begin an intentional compassion practice that your sense of purpose and contribution begin to grow alongside. And, funny thing, others respond well to practiced compassion. Your employees will begin to feel recognized and valued. Trust grows. And in turn, engagement, morale, and all the things that you need in order to sustain your business.

This creates a win-win situation.

(Reference: Hougaard, Rasmus; Jacqueline Carter and Louise Chester. Power Can Corrupt Leaders. Compassion Can Save Them. Harvard Business Review, 2/15/2018.)

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.