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Before You Welcome 2017

December 28, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

A Brief Check-In For Women Who Lead

As a woman who leads, you have probably experienced a full and exciting year. You have no doubt also had to deal with some unusual experiences, which have demanded quite a bit of your time.

What this means is that you may have set some important goals aside in order to accomplish the essential.

My wish for you is that you do not close the door on 2016 with regrets…that you take a moment to reflect on the things that you have accomplished. Because all too often, we focus on the things we didn’t do, diminishing the importance of our successes.

And instead of feeling excited about 2017, you’ll feel like you are in “catch up” mode – not a healthy, strategic approach, or a good feeling.

Assessing your 2016 wins is critical to having the right lens to set your goals for 2017.

So before you welcome 2017, here’s a brief check-in…

Celebrating Your 2016 Wins and Successes

Find a quiet corner and hot cup of something good, take a pen and paper, and settle in to answer the following questions (it’s important to hand write this in order to connect your head and heart):

What are you most proud of, as you look back at 2016? (This may be personal or business – but it would be great to list one for each.)

List 3-5 wins in your work – accomplishments or moves forward.

What one thing would you like to congratulate yourself for, which others may or may not have noticed?

What values do these accomplishments reveal?

What natural strengths did you use in order to accomplish these things?

What event or circumstance in your life this year opened the door for you to recognize your power or influence your future choices?

What did you do well in 2016 that you would like to do more of in 2017?

What do you need to make sure that your goal-setting process for 2017 is an exciting and positive one – one that energizes and excites you?

Knowing you have put some things aside in order to accomplish “the necessary,” what is one thing you would like to focus on in 2017 that will make a difference to your year?

Taking time to reflect on these things is important to your success in 2017. I’d love to hear what this exercise brought up for you. Join me on LinkedIn to share, and for more discussion…

Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Why Women Leaders Are Losing Their Jobs

December 21, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

3 Ways You Can Avoid This

Fortune Magazine’s December 13, 2016 blog, “The World’s Most Powerful Women,” reports that women business leaders around the world are losing ground.

“This year has been a doozy for supporters of gender equality and women’s advancement, even beyond Hillary Clinton’s defeat and Donald Trump’s victory.

Dilma Rousseff, Brazil’s first female president, was ousted from power, and
South Korea’s first female president, Park Geun-hye, now seems poised to meet that same fate.
The IMF’s first female chief, Christine Lagarde, is currently engulfed in a trial that could jeopardize her future.
The number of female CEOs in the Fortune 500 sank from 24 to 21.
And some bright, still rising business stars – Theranos’ Elizabeth Holmes, Yahoo’s Marissa Mayer – have plummeted like fireballs back to earth.”

The unfortunate consequence of these disappointing events is that because this is occurring on a larger, public scale, your brain is subconsciously telling the following story:

“Hey, You, women just can’t hack it. See what happens when a woman is placed in a position of leadership? Don’t try it. It doesn’t work. Be safe. Be warm. Stay where you are. Don’t try to reach higher goals. Don’t speak up. Don’t speak out.”

In fact, most all of these situations Forbes describes were avoidable – and that’s what your brain doesn’t stop to examine. The women mentioned in the Forbes blog have lost their positions for many reasons, and some are as follows:

poor decision-making, difficulties in taking action
not asking for help or an inability to listen
surrounding themselves with the wrong people
difficulty in building the influence they need to get support and get things done
staying too long in the same position when they should have made that next move or change

Of course, politics can sometimes derail. And, in at least one disappointing case, compromised ethics were at issue.

But for the most part, the plummets these female business leaders have taken were avoidable. And that’s just plain disappointing after all we’ve worked on to move forward.

So, how can you avoid the same kind of ending?

These recent events with other women of high visibility can hurt you and your future, if you are aspiring to greater leadership and larger opportunities.

The simple answer is to get the right kind of help to check you on your ability to lead and do it well. This involves a few things.

1. Be willing to examine your own leadership.

How well do you lead yourself – your emotions and the way you manage these, as well as your decision-making, action-taking, and more. Take an assessment, and review whether you are meeting goals effectively, if you have rock-solid confidence, and if your business or company recognizes your value.

2. Be willing to ask a few trusted colleagues and mentors where you need to grow.

How well are you leading others? How do you relate, build influence, and get things done with others? Take the basal temperature by getting sound feedback so you know what to work on. If you are great talent, but you can’t communicate this to others and influence them to take action, your leadership will stall here.

3. Get the right kind of help to grow your leadership in the right places, and through the right way.

Don’t be shy, and don’t short-change yourself. This is what kills most women leaders “in the making” – not asking for help, and not investing in the right kind. You must make the investment in yourself to course-correct and camp on your abilities so that these work for you, and work extremely well. For more on this, see my special report “Coaches, Mentors, and Sponsors: The Differences and the Benefits.”

In thinking about your own leadership aspirations, where, in your own leadership, might you need to grow? Join us on LinkedIn to share, and for more discussion.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

When “Just Do It” Doesn’t Work: Testing Out of Fear

December 14, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

How do you move past fear?

You don’t.

You get underneath it.

You get underneath the fear to the faulty assumptions that are driving it.

Underneath every instance where your confidence falters, or wherever a fear surfaces, there lies a hidden set of faulty assumptions that acts like glue to keep this fear intact.

Ready to break through?

I work with successful executives and business owners who are ready to step into a next level of success. A lot of times, they engage me because they have an incredible vision for their future or special project, or they have just assumed a new and larger role. These scenarios require bigger ways of thinking, acting, and doing, and even the most confident people will find themselves stalled by fears they didn’t realize would emerge.

A client I will call Mara asked me to help her make the move from being a very successful attorney to founding her own consulting firm. This was a major decision for her, but she was convicted and passionate about the change. She had already done all the homework – researching the need for services, defining the value she could bring to the client, weighing the costs and benefits this move would have on her financial future, identifying resources and connecting with key mentors for the help she would need, and putting together a plan of action to actually build the business.

But she called me for support because she couldn’t seem to move forward in working the plan. Specifically, Mara was afraid she would fail as a business owner. Even though she had gone through the planning steps that would support her success, she still feared she would not make it.

I asked her what was behind this fear, and Mara’s faulty assumptions were then revealed.

“Mara, what are you afraid will happen if you fail?”

“Well, other people might think I don’t have what it takes as a business person.”

“Mara, what are you afraid is going to happen if that happens?”

“Well, if others think I don’t have what it takes, I will lose credibility and no one will engage me.”

“And if that happens?”

“Then I’ll lose my home and be homeless – and others will have to take care of me. I will become a non-person – no worth.”

And there it was – the underlying faulty assumption that held Mara back. She feared she would become a non-person, a person of no worth. This was the glue that held her fear together.

“Mara, is it really true that if you fail in business that you will become homeless and of no worth?”

“Well, no – I have a good savings, and a corner on my specialty within law. I could always return with no problem. You know – it’s weird! I didn’t know that underneath all this was a fear that I would become a non-person. That’s not true!”

And yet, this was what was holding her back – the story she told herself, made up of a subconscious set of faulty assumptions that held her fear together like glue.

“Then, how do you get rid of the fear?” Mara asked me. “Because I can tell you that the old Nike adage, ‘Just do it!’ does not work for me.”

“Here’s what you do,” I answered. “You change your story to get rid of the fear. To do this, you don’t confront the fear – you confront the assumptions.”

Confronting the assumptions is confronting the story you are telling yourself, because it is the story that keeps your fear intact. Confronting your assumptions asks that you experiment with scenarios to see if your story is true. But contrary to the adage “Just do it,” by confronting the fear, confronting assumptions to break through fear is more powerful and effective.

Let’s say that you tell yourself that you are afraid to jump in the water because you assume the swimming pool is too cold to get in and swim. So the story you tell yourself is that if you jump in, you will catch a chill and be miserable. If you are miserable, then you will have to stay at home and nurse a cold. And if you stay at home to nurse a cold, you will miss out on all the fun planned for the weekend. And if this happens, well…(you see what I mean!).

To begin testing out of these faulty assumptions, you walk to the edge of the pool. You dip the tips of your toes in the water to see if your foot will be okay with the temperature. It may be a little chilly, but once you see that the toes are fine, you put a bit more of your foot in and go through the same exercise, asking yourself if you are okay. Eventually, you are in the pool up to your neck, enjoying a swim, sun on your face, and wondering why you ever feared the water temperature.

What you are doing throughout this exercise is to stretch your level of comfort bit by bit, pausing each time to observe to see whether your assumptions are true or not. In doing so, you test out of these assumptions by proving them wrong. Once you do this, your mind tells itself a new story. “Hmmm… I guess I don’t need to fear this fear anymore – it was completely unfounded.” So an hour later, if you choose to go back for another swim, you will simply jump in this time, total body. No more fear.

So how did this process work for Mara?

Mara and I devised a plan that incorporated several critical testing points as she moved forward to found her own business. And the results were that over the next 9 months, she was able to cultivate several prospective clients and to secure contracts that would support her over the following 24 months. She gave notice at the law offices, and jumped into her own consulting firm full-time.

“I can’t believe I was afraid of failing,” Mara told me. “Granted, building a business can be extremely challenging – but it’s so rewarding, too. I realize through having cultivated those clients, I am quite capable.”

How about you? What fear is holding you back? What story are you telling yourself to keep this fear intact? Join us on LinkedIn to share, and for more discussion.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Why Aren’t You Leading?

September 28, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Mastering Your Inner Leader, Part I

Why aren’t you leading?

You’ve taken leadership boot camps and development programs, and read all the books. And there you are. In the same place. Month in, month out. Year in, year out.

Your influence is respectable, but it isn’t fantastic. You aren’t as effective as you could be, and you aren’t being recognized for your work (Promotion, anyone? Partner? Bonus Pool? Million Dollar Club?) What’s more, your income or sales isn’t increasing – yet you are working just as hard as ever, if not more.

The thing is, you are talented, and you know it. But it’s not showing like it should, in order to get the recognition and reward you deserve.

Nine times out of 10, I find that talented professionals overlook the one thing they should focus on, if they truly want to succeed. And it’s the one thing that can make all the difference.

I coached a vice president who had inherited great responsibility just the year prior. Susan had been a top performer in the company, and because the company did not want to lose her, she had been given a spot on the senior leadership team.

“I’m like a fish out of water,” Susan said over the phone. “And frankly wondering if I’ll ever be able to swim in deep waters with these people. I’ve tried schmoozing with them, I’ve held the same meetings with my team as they do with their teams. Sometimes, I even think I subconsciously try to walk and talk like some of them! But it’s not working.”

“Just a few months ago, all of senior leadership was given a leadership assessment. They had two group sessions to talk about it, and handed us books for reference. But knowing about leadership skills and strengths I have isn’t enough to get me anywhere. Help!”

Susan’s case is not atypical. A lot of top performers are promoted to leadership. After all – they performed well where they were before – they can certainly do it, again – right? Not necessarily.

From time to time, companies try to help their leadership teams by bringing on a consultant for assessments of all kinds and a follow-up training for a deeper dive. But testing and acquiring knowledge in specific areas is not enough to develop your leadership.

In fact, America spends more than $170 billion per year in training on topics of this sort, and results show that we are largely wasting money. Studies show that training participants take away about 27% of the learning provided, and then abandon it quickly because they don’t know how to integrate it.

So if copying other leaders doesn’t work, and taking a leadership skills assessment or a personality style diagnostic with some follow-up training isn’t making you a more effective leader, then what does work?

Mastering your inner leader.

Mastering your inner leader involves identifying your core values, and the particular strengths and gifts you bring to the table, so that you can learn to use them powerfully as you lead yourself and others. Only by mastering your inner leader will you stand out with confidence and make greatest impact.

You see, what works for the person down the hall will not necessarily work for you. And without knowing what you have to work with, you will be making decisions and taking actions without coming from a solid leadership foundation. And it will show.

Instead, you must discover what you have to work with, flex and fine-tune it, and the result is that you brand your leadership in a way that is genuine and most powerful.

How do you start?

I often start by having my clients identify their top core values. We then do an inventory in key areas of their life and work to see where they are doing well, and where they need to de-clutter or realign, so that they are living true to their values. I then help them begin to reinforce this learning with a “coach approach” so that the learning becomes a way of being. Over a period of 8-12 weeks, clients report less stress and tension, and more focus, productivity, and enjoyment.

I bet you aren’t surprised. Because coming from your center, from your core values and strengths, is authentic, you are more confident, you feel more energized, and you produce your best.

In my next article, Part II, I’ll talk about a unique way that you can identify life themes and strengths to build on mastering your inner leader.

Meanwhile, please join me in our LinkedIn group for more discussion on this topic.

How do you integrate your values in your work?

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.