Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

decision making

When You Get Thrown Under the Bus at Work

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When You Get Thrown Under the Bus at Work
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If you’ve worked long enough, then you probably know what it’s like to be thrown under the bus. This idiomatic phrase means to have your reputation deliberately sacrificed by another for that person’s personal gain or advancement.

What do you do when you are caught in the middle of this situation? And how do you recuperate from such a betrayal?

Cameron was a rising star whose contributions were always appreciated on any team. Newly promoted to Executive Vice President, he was assigned to expand the company’s reach into all 50 states.

One particular project involved another executive, Sandra, who had been a contender for Cameron’s position. She was cordial as they worked together on this, but when the time came to report formally to the board on how the initiative was shaping up, she blamed her lack of progress on Cameron.

“I’m afraid I haven’t been able to move forward as I would have liked,” said Sandra. “It’s been a little difficult to get the information I need to do my part since Cameron has been consumed with all of his other projects. You’ve been hard to chase down, my friend,” she gave Cameron a rather condescending smile. “We’ll just have to try harder.”

Cameron told me later that the top of his head become so hot when this happened that it felt like it was going to explode. He looked at Sandra in disbelief. He had been accessible at every turn, and had told Sandra how to reach him if she couldn’t find him. And this? This was clearly a move to discredit him as leader in his new position.

What would you do if a colleague threw you under the bus?

Here’s what Cameron did – and what I want to share with you, so that if you find yourself in a similar situation, you can recoup quickly and rise victorious.

1. Pre-empt any barreling bus by making sure you already have a solid reputation.

The best way to avoid people doubting your ability to do the work is to establish a strong track record through your integrity (your approach) and your ability to execute and deliver (your competence). When you have this background experience, people will remember when an isolated incident questions your leadership.

Cameron enjoyed a stellar reputation with others and so those in the room witnessing Sandra’s blame quickly questioned her motives – not Cameron’s abilities.

2. Take a short walk before you decide how to handle this.

Before you decide how you want to address being run over, take a short walk. Get outside, breathe, move around. It’s important to take a pause as you process what just happened and what you want to do to remedy it. On mental, emotional, and physical levels, this gives you the spaciousness of time to cool down and think through a best response.

Cameron got out the door as soon as the presentation was over and took a good 10-minute walk before he calmed down enough to process. Once he got his emotions under control, he was able to think through next best steps for salvaging his reputation with the board.

3. Confront for the record.

Meet with the person who just threw you under the bus.

Cameron was direct and thoughtful. “Sandra,” he began. “I was surprised in there to hear that you didn’t get the time you needed with me in order to meet the deadline. I must apologize if I appeared inaccessible. Can you share more?”

Sandra, of course, was hedging, hemming, and hawing. She knew she was caught, but thought she could wiggle out. “Well, Cameron,” she answered, “whenever I would walk past your door to check in, you seemed very busy…on a conference call, in the middle of a meeting…it was just very awkward.”

Cameron didn’t back down, but created a net for the future. “Sandra, in future, if I seem caught up and don’t notice you, it will be helpful if you shoot me an e-mail or call to schedule time. This project is high priority – and I will always make time for you as a valued team member to support you in your part.”

Sandra was caught and she knew it. The excuse was lame – but she was proud. She agreed that next time, she would make an appointment. “And one more thing, Sandra – if you aren’t not getting the answers or resources you need from me, I hope you will tell me so that I can rectify that. Will that work for you?” Sandra was officially put on notice – no more blame game.

4. Restore your reputation through a third-party champion.

At times like these, you know that anything you say publicly will simply sound like defensive excuses. In this case, you need a champion to boost your good name. Pick a trusted colleague who has influence or “power clout” with those who witnessed the crash and share what has happened. Allow them, over the next few days, to do some subtle, positive PR on your behalf when you aren’t in the room.

Having someone else speak highly of you and your abilities in this way is powerful. You take the high road; your colleague reinforces how great you are doing and why you are definitely the right person in the right seat – and you can relax.

If you have ever been thrown under the bus, then you know how devastating it is.

Be sure you are a person who never resorts to that – and commit to being a champion for others.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Three Steps to Getting Your Team on Board

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Three Steps to Getting Your Team on Board
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Have you come away from a team meeting confident that everyone is on board and ready to go? This is exactly what you needed in order to move the initiative forward.

But later, when you call people to action, you get pushback. They argue about time or resources. Somebody points to the executive down the hall.

“What about Jim?” they chide. “He ought to step up – he doesn’t have half the workload we do!”

How do you avoid arriving at this place? What can you do to make sure everyone is aligned and engaged?

Here are three steps to take so you can get your team on board from the get-go:

  1. Create psychological safety.

Your people need to know that, within the team, it is safe to take a risky stance. Such safety supports productive disagreement. Psychological safety requires that your team develop high trust with one another. How much does your team trust one another? For more on this, get the downloadable infographic below.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

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  1. Surface assumptions.

Every human being comes equipped with assumptions. These are a result of our life experiences.

Is it summertime? The sky should be blue.

Is it dinner time? People should be getting hungry.

Some assumptions are not dangerous, and they help to guide us with everyday decisions. On the other hand, some assumptions can interfere with reaching consensus and alignment on important issues.

How can you ferret these out before they get in the way?

When your team meets, present the problem or initiative. Then, before they can ask questions or present any opinions, ask them what assumptions they will use in order to work together on this.

Are they assuming this will require…

  • Redirecting the workforce?
  • Additional budget considerations?
  • That their role will be modified in some way?

What other assumptions will they have?

Bring these to the surface and ask your team members to put these aside as you work. They may not be factors, and you will be able to address concerns more quickly as you move through the discussion.

  1. Expose misalignments.

Team members may feel agreeable during the discussion. However, some may not have thought things through in such a way that it reveals hidden roadblocks.

Get creative to stir things up. Consider taking discussions about new initiatives off-site. Present your idea as a hypothetical one and have them develop it as a team exercise.

Now, have them identify problems and work together to solve these.

After you have laid this foundation of collaboration, ask them to make it real, and talk about what it will take for the team to implement this. Again, have them problem-solve together.

Your team can begin to flex and increase its ability to perform at levels most will never experience.

I look forward to hearing how this works for you.

For more on psychological safety, see Amy Edmondson’s article, “Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams”, Administrative Science Quarterly; Jun 1999; 44, 2.

Kintsugi and Strengthening Your Leadership

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Kintsugi and Strengthening Your Leadership
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How have you become the leader you are today? Your leadership has been shaped by the lessons you have learned in the past.

And when a particularly tough challenge throws you to the mat, this can be when you become the strongest.

But why is it when we fall flat on our backs that we are embarrassed and try to conceal this?

We are doing ourselves and others a disservice when we do so.

How?

Kintsugi.

The philosophy of Kintsugi is to treat breakage and repair as part of the history of the object, rather than a failure or flaw that should be disguised.

The story of how Kintsugi was born is that a 15th century ruler once broke a rare and favorite bowl. Because of the history it represented to him, he sent it far away for repairs. When the bowl was returned, it was in poor shape, cobbled together with large and unsightly staples. The accompanying message said that the bowl was irreparable.

Because he valued the bowl so highly, the ruler was willing to accept this verdict. He then sought someone who could take new, creative measures to restore it.

The result was Kintsugi.

Kintsugi is the ancient art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted with gold, silver, or platinum.

Instead of hiding the breaks, it highlights them with one of these beautiful metals to embrace cracks and repairs as simply part of the object’s journey, rather than to consider that breakage ends its service.

What does this mean for your leadership?

You certainly haven’t thrown in the towel because you have met some difficult challenges. However, many of us in leadership may treat these moments as non-events in an effort to appear strong and unflawed.

This is a disservice.

To feign perfection in an effort to appear strong can discount growing from your experience.

Moreover, those around you need to understand that developing their own leadership means recognizing failures as valuable points of learning that make them even stronger.

If you aren’t confident enough to talk about the history behind some of your cracks and breakages, and to reframe these as part of the leader journey, then you are robbing others of their own valuable growth opportunities.

How can you begin to turn past bumps in the road into marks of beauty in your leadership?

Think back on a particular instance and ask yourself the following questions:

  1. What did you learn from having encountered this difficulty?
  2. What was the hidden “gold” in the failure?
  3. How have you used this since – and how has it made you a stronger leader?

By reframing past failures as points of learning, you can now recognize these as part of the beauty of your leadership. And you provide inspiration and hope for those who are following behind.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

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Peter Drucker – Goals and Self-Control

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Peter Drucker - Goals and Self-Control
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Peter Drucker once stated that his mission was to help other people achieve their goals.

Helping people reach their big leadership goals is what I do. If I can help them develop their leadership, they can then achieve the personal and professional things they set out to do.

And at face value, it’s easy to reach your goals.

To do this, all you need are these three things.

  • Define your goal
  • Identify the steps and ways to get there
  • Practice the self-control to work the plan

But a lot of leaders don’t reach the goals they set for themselves. Why? If the formula is so simple, where is the hitch?

To give some insight on this, I’d like to share some background about meeting objectives and reaching goals by reflecting on Peter Drucker. Drucker, a widely influential thought leader, has been described as the founder of modern management. I believe his work holds the key.

Drucker invented the concept of management by objectives and self-control, somewhat of a “household idea” in strategic planning today. He popularized this idea in his 1954 book, The Practice of Management.

Drucker maintained that in order to effectively reach objectives, these must first be defined by management and conveyed to other members of the organization. Then, it must be decided as to how to reach these objectives (strategies), and these strategies must then be broken down into sequential steps (tactics). The resulting outline or strategic action plan could then be used as a roadmap for those who had assigned responsibilities therein.

Drucker’s theory proposed to create an organized and positive work environment. As people worked the steps in the plan, they would be motivated by their achievements and spurred to continue on to the “finish line.”

Let’s translate all this into you as leader as you work on developing your own leadership.

Most of you reading this can easily identify the goals that are important to you. You can probably also outline the steps you need to take in order to reach your goals.

But you may not be reaching these.

What’s missing?

Self-control.

A lack of self-control is usually the culprit in thwarted goals. This is when leaders often call an executive coach. They’ve read the books, attended the boot camps, and yet, little has changed. And they aren’t quite sure what to do about it.

If this is you, it’s easy to feel discouraged and fall back into old patterns. After all, good enough is good enough – right?

But quietly, you know that if you develop greater leadership, you’ll benefit not only yourself and those around you, but the entire organization.

If you are at this point, I challenge you to adopt the following four tools.

These will help you to develop more self-control to move past obstacles and on to success.

1. Begin in a corner to set yourself up for success.

Is your goal to be a better communicator? Identify two to three things that will help you to become one. And then, start with just one of those. Let’s say your three strategies to becoming a better communicator include being a better listener, asking more questions, and being clearer and more concise in your written communications. Attempting to shift to all three of these behaviors at once is too much and will discourage the best of us. Begin with the one that feels easiest or like the biggest win, and work on that for a few weeks before taking on the next shift.

2. Assume a can-do attitude in your language.

What are the things you say to yourself when you think about taking that next step toward goal? Does your language feel heavy, full of examples like, “I need to…” “I have to…” “I must…”? Try shifting this type of language to one that is more encouraging, such as, “I am looking forward to trying…” “It’s fun to think about experimenting with this…” Look for the negatives and turn these around. Your language reinforces attitude with feelings around the work you need to do to reach goal.

3. Keep the transformation in mind.

If being a better listener is your goal, the transformation might be that by being a better listener, others will respect you more, share more, feel recognized, etc. and this will help to motivate and engage them, resulting in greater outcomes. Identify this transformation and keeping it in front of you as a carrot is powerful to helping you stay the course.

4. Congratulate yourself for wins and points of learning.

One step at a time. Each time you move a little closer to your goal, congratulate yourself. Each time you recognize when you have taken a step back, look at this as a point of learning. Ask yourself what you will do differently next time to move forward. The brain needs this in order to flex where it needs to go next. Rome wasn’t built in a day – and neither has your leadership been developed overnight. Decide that it’s “brick by brick” and keep going.

As you contemplate 2019 and what you would like to see in your personal leadership, remember that this is a journey. By traveling in this way, you model this for others, providing encouragement and a sound way forward.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

What is so Important about Purpose at Work?

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What is so Important about Purpose at Work?
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Why talk about your purpose? Aren’t you too busy for such introspection?

When you are driving for results, it may seem odd to reflect on your purpose.

But purpose drives results. If you aren’t in touch with your purpose and the meaning of your contributions, you may be creating results right now, but you may lose the longer game.

And if you can’t help your employees see the value of their purpose as it relates to company results, you are losing out.

Here’s the long-game secret to staying engaged, performing well, hitting target goals – and helping others to do all this, as well:

Purpose + Motivation + Engagement = Results

These three things work together to help us move forward in life with joy and resolution. Together, they are what compel us to climb mountains, to learn foreign languages, and to work with commitment on those challenging new endeavors that require tenacity and perseverance.

You see, all humans seek meaning and purpose. We ask ourselves questions such as, “Why do I exist?” “Why am I here?” “How do I bring value to life, to the larger picture?”

Understanding the answers to these questions is a powerful driver. If we do not find our purpose in life, we lose interest in life. Purpose is what tells us the value of our unique self. It gives us a reason to be, a goal to work toward. If we can’t understand our reason for existing, we lose sight of our value as human beings.

If, on the other hand, we understand how we best contribute to a larger picture, how we bring value to life’s table, this allows us to recognize our worthiness as human beings.

When we have purpose, we live differently. Looking outside ourselves to a larger picture removes the tendency to center on ourselves. We a sense of well-being and contribution. Our dopamine rises to give us pleasurable feelings of energy and positivity. We have a reason to live.

In his epic work, Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl illustrates this. As he recounted his experiences in a World War II concentration camp, Frankl observed that those inmates who gave themselves a goal or recognized they had a purpose were much more likely to survive. Some held onto the vision of seeing their families in the future, and Frankl himself found purpose in reconstructing a manuscript he had written and lost on the way to the concentration camp. This purpose, these goals often meant the difference between the will to live – or not.

As you can see, purpose drives motivation.

What is your purpose?

Purpose compels us seek to achieve something with our contributions so that we can fulfill this purpose. We are stimulated to move forward, to target goals that will help us reach what we feel is our purpose – and as we see in Frankl’s illustration, is what gives us a reason to live, even in the most difficult of circumstances. We are motivated.

And motivation is what gives us the energy, drive and excitement to move forward in a certain direction or go after something we want to achieve. It’s the fire that fuels us and is necessary for us to steadily remind ourselves of who we are, our meaning and purpose.

But if purpose and motivation are what gives us meaning and energy, engagement is what keeps us going. Engagement compels us to persevere when times get challenging. We need engagement to truly reach the top of the mountain or to master that foreign language. One can be motivated to begin a new endeavor, but quickly abandon this when the going gets tough.

Think about a time when you set out to achieve something great and succeeded. What kept you going when you faced obstacles to your goal so that you remained engaged?

How can you use your experience with this to motivate and engage others so that they move forward with purpose? Here are four ways you can begin that are simple to implement with great returns:

  1. Be intentional about recognizing your team members as human beings.

We talk a lot about how to recognize and reward people for their good work, because this is key to motivating them. However, there are lots of resources out there on this, so I want to focus on a more basic, daily recognition of others as human beings. Begin the day and each interaction by eliminating feelings of anonymity. Check in by touching base personally before jumping into the task at hand. Remind them that you care about them as people by asking about their family, their weekend, or if they’ve been able to work on that hobby lately. We all get extremely busy, and sometimes, this can become a troublesome trend whereby people feel undervalued or not seen. Don’t let this become your culture.

  1. Find out what drives your team members.

Set a time when you can talk to your reports individually about their career aspirations and how you can best support them. Include an exploration about their strengths, what they feel they bring to the larger picture, and what drives them. They will feel recognized, supported, and energized. This also helps you to move them toward those projects, assignments and roles that most excite them – and will benefit the company most. It will aid you in knowing how to coach and mentor them, seeking those opportunities that align with their passion and interests.

  1. Connect work to a higher meaning.

When motivating and engaging others, it’s necessary to help them remember how their work connects with higher meaning. In order to do this, we need to understand how tasks and activities assigned to a role affect the larger picture. Let’s say, for instance, that some of your employees are in charge of customer service. The role requires problem-solving for customers all day long.

If your employees understand their contribution to the larger picture, this can keep them motivated and engaged when the going gets tough. Here’s how you help them make this connection: list the outcomes that come to mind when you have a satisfied customer.

I can think of the following: A happy customer = boosted company reputation, new business leads and referrals, more company profits, more jobs… This is one example of taking one’s tasks and responsibilities and connecting them to a higher meaning. When we understand our contribution to this larger picture, it reinforces our purpose, allowing us to recognize our value and worth.

  1. Give people more authority – not just responsibility.

People thrive on decision-making authority. It’s empowering and allows them to learn and grow, releases you to focus on other things, and brings fresh perspectives to the company. This means that you need to take more of a coaching and mentoring approach to your leadership. This helps you to leverage your people power and ability to achieve at the same time that you grow and develop others so that they can assume more responsibility.

Motivating and engaging yourself and others requires intentionality. It requires different conversations, but ones that are much more meaningful and rewarding. I challenge you to begin by incorporating one of the four steps above to see how it works for you.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC