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Is Your Company Culture Too Nice?

July 21, 2021 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Is Your Company Culture Too Nice?
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Is your company culture “too nice”?

As a leader, you may think you are doing your business a favor by encouraging politeness. But sometimes, emphasizing this too much may send the wrong message entirely.

How can you tell if you need to toughen up your culture?

Larry was quick to share with me that the culture at his company was warm and friendly, with a “family feel” to it.

“People are very courteous around here,” he said. “But we are in trouble. That’s why I’m calling you for help.”

“What kind of trouble are you experiencing?” I asked.

“I’m discovering that what our people say in meetings is not what they are saying in the hallways. We have quite a few employees that are under-performing, and their supervisors are not willing to hold them accountable. Our deadlines are not being met and we’re not even working on priorities. What’s going on?”

After sitting with Larry and some of his key executives, I discovered what kept his company from being a healthy, high-performing business. And as I shared, Larry’s face showed its dismay.

“You mean the very thing that I emphasized has created the problem?” he asked.

“Not exactly, Larry,” I answered. “Being kind and polite is important. But you need to make sure they don’t take this to mean an unwillingness to set expectations, be transparent, and hold people accountable.”

“I thought I was motivating the staff,” he answered. “After all, you ‘catch more flies with honey than vinegar,’ as they say.”

“Unfortunately, leaders over-emphasize politeness for a variety of reasons, Larry,” I said. “Some may not like conflict. Some might think, as you, that it will motivate people. Others may feel this will foster inclusion. But look where we have wound up, here.

“In fact, I’m willing to wager that you have people agreeing with each other on decisions when you should have healthy debate with different perspectives. This means you are killing possibilities of innovating. You probably have some people who were hired at a high-performing level who have now slowed down their pace to ‘meet the herd.’ And you probably have hidden conflict because people aren’t willing to address critical issues that keep the company from moving forward.”

“You are right,” Larry answered. “I can see that, now. So, what do I do?”

Here are some key steps I outlined which reflect the work we did together over the next few months to turn around Larry’s poor culture.

1. Set new expectations.

When it’s time to shift gears to foster a healthier culture, know what you want – and set these expectations very explicitly. This means defining what your cultural norms are and how they appear in action.For example, if one of your cultural norms is “respect,” what does respect look like when people work with each other? Instead of avoiding tough issues, it can mean confronting these issues by providing timely, critical feedback that supports growth.

2. Foster psychological safety at every level.

There is no high-performing team without psychological safety. Your team members must have each other’s back, support differing perspectives, ensure that everyone has a voice, and more. These are part of team norms – and if you haven’t done this work yet, it’s time now. You will see a huge difference in the way that your team is motivated, how they produce, and how they work together.

3. Hold people accountable for the right things.

Most businesses hold their people accountable for deadlines and for goals reached. But they seldom build in the system and processes they need to support human behavior. What this means is that if you want your people to be respectfully candid and talk about real issues, you need to encourage and reward this.

How does your company’s culture measure up?

  • Are you happy with how motivated and engaged your staff are?
  • How well do they brainstorm to innovate?
  • Do you reward supportive critical feedback that fosters greater development?

Focusing on your company culture means exponentially increasing your business revenues. If you find, like Larry, that your company isn’t where you want it to be, commit to making this a priority.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Do You Have an Absentee Leader on Your Team?

August 21, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Do You Have an Absentee Leader on Your Team?
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Absentee leadership is rarely discussed, but it is perhaps the most destructive of all poor leadership types. It can do more to compromise employee engagement, morale, and productivity than other faulty leadership styles.

Unfortunately, it is also the most difficult of the styles to detect, which means you may have one on your team right now.

How can you detect whether you have this element in the executive circle? And what can you do about it?

Also called an emotionally disengaged leader, an Absentee leads in title only. They are people who are perhaps promoted into management because they did great work in their previous position, and they enjoy the perks and rewards of their current elevated status. However, they do not put in the hard work of engaging with their team to provide direction and support. You might say that they deplete the organization’s value because they are taking from it, but not investing back into it.

This affects the teams and individuals in their area of responsibility in a much more insidious way because absentee leadership behaviors can cause confusion in roles, conflict between staff, and increased stress leading to work and health problems.

Symptoms that you have an Absentee on your team can include:

  1. End runs for answers.

Do you have employees from a specific area within the organization that continue to come to you for answers? Ask yourself why. Allowing or even supporting this disempowers their leader and crowds your calendar. If you have not encouraged this dynamic, it may be that these employees are not getting answers from the person who should be supporting them. Don’t fall into the trap of giving a quick and easy response to these queries; instead, make time to sit with the leader who should be supplying answers and share what you are noticing. The goal of this exercise is not to punish the employees, but to explore why they are not getting answers. Deep dive on this one.

  1. Increased conflict or interpersonal problems.

Do you have employees or an area within the organization that cyclically erupts? This is a reflection of unmanaged emotions and a lack of ability to negotiate relationships. If this is a trend, it is a reflection of someone allowing this to continue. I would call this an Absentee leader, since the leader is either aware of the situation but steps back from confronting, or they are unaware, which is worse. Again, this requires a conversation and some coaching around expectations. You’ll need to stick closely to the Absentee during a corrective period to monitor their progress. Absentees can disappear easily in the company crowd. They are generally nice people who don’t make noise, which allows them to hide behind other more evident company challenges.

  1. Team grumbling or low performance.

When conducting employee forums or interdepartmental meetings, do you notice that dissatisfaction is expressed from the same corners every time? Is there a team that is known for its compromised performance? A chronic poor attitude or behavior in either individuals or team is a clear sign that someone is not present for their team, providing coaching, corrective feedback, and upholding expectations. Again, your approach would be the same – to sit with your Absentee and outline what you are observing, how it is impacting others and the company, and to define clearly what you want to see. Monitor, monitor, monitor.

This topic is worth careful study if you want highest ROI from your executive team.

The impact of absentee leadership on job satisfaction outlasts the impact of both constructive and overtly destructive forms of leadership. This costs your company not only now, but in future, since best efforts to turn this around take time.

And at a time when your focus needs to be on leading the organization into the future, you can’t afford to compromise.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Three Quick Ways to Recapture Your Executive Edge

June 6, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Three Quick Ways to Recapture Your Executive Edge
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Are you feeling a state of overwhelm, a loss of drive, or a chronic state of stress as you lead?

These are signs that your “executive edge” is slipping. Not only can this keep you from doing your best work, it can quickly demoralize you and throw you into a low-grade funk. In fact, if left unchecked, it can lead to burnout – a debilitating state. The loss to your company is great; the loss to you personally may be immeasurable.

When you are leading, you can’t afford this.

How can you quickly recapture your edge before you lose control?

Strengthen the foundation.

Your executive edge is built on a foundation of drive, focus, and energy. If one of these areas is not nurtured, your edge will become wobbly. In fact, you won’t notice at first – the process is insidious.

Early symptoms of edge loss can be detected if you find yourself in one of the following situations:

  • You find you are regularly pulled off “into the weeds” by other projects while you attempt to concentrate on what’s important.
  • Your desk is full of work that feels like a daily grind instead of a forward move to bigger goals.
  • You carry a low-grade source of tension that keeps your brow furrowed. (Hint: are your neck and shoulders perpetually knotted up? Your chest tight?)

If you identify with any of these situations, it is time to recapture your edge by strengthening its foundation.

Here are Three Ways to Recapture Your Edge

1. Refocus your efforts.

Have you been pulled off in directions that have taken you away from what is most important? Do you find it hard to get back on track?

A moderate loss of focus means you need to review your 90-day plan (your quarterly action plan supporting your yearly goals).

A severe loss of focus means revisiting your long-term and short-term goals supporting the company, outlining a new 90-day plan that supports this, and actually blocking off “closed door” time on your calendar to work on what is most important.

2. Revive your drive.

If you are feeling that work feels like drudgery or a bit of a grind, there is a good chance you have lost your drive.

If you want to test this out, go back to your “why” – the reason you do what you do.

What is the bigger picture? Why does the company exist? How does it make life better for the world? And how do you play a part in this?

Revisit the answers to these questions daily. Remember why you do what you do.

3. Eliminate hidden energy drains.

If you carry a low-grade source of tension, this indicates an unresolved conflict of some kind. Over time, this stress can cause a loss of energy, focus, drive, and actually develop a poor outlook and some significant health concerns.

Identify those sources of tension and conflict, and make a decision as to how to resolve these. As you let go of old baggage, you will find that your stress levels will diminish and you will feel much more energetic.

When you are leading a company or area of responsibility, your edge needs to be present so that you contribute your best. And of course, on a personal note, life is too short not to enjoy living and enjoying your best life.


HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

The 3 R’s of Stress Reduction

March 14, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

The 3 R’s of Stress Reduction
Image Credit: Shutterstock

According to a Monster.com survey, workplace stress is a real issue. The results indicate 61% of respondents consider workplace stress a cause of illness, and 84% claim it impacts their personal lives in some form or fashion. Perhaps the most alarming statistic was that 66% said those in authority do nothing to help alleviate it.

In fact, those in authority – across several studies – were a major source of the stress.

Stress stems from several factors, and for each, there are internal contributors and external contributors. Here are just a few.

  • Perfection – Perfectionism can be rooted in your own thoughts, insecurities, and unrealistic expectations – or those of your company leaders.
  • Financial Pressures – Internal factors include your mindset around the issue of money (fear of loss or, ironically for some, fear of success), your expectations for how much you need to live the life you desire, and your habits of management. External factors are determined by the mindset, priorities, and practices of company leaders.
  • Conflict – Internal conflict stems from unresolved issues, whether real or perceived. External conflict stems from these same sources – unresolved issues, real or perceived.
  • Loss of Control – It is human nature to desire at least some form of control over ourselves, our circumstances, and our environment. This creates an inherent problem in today’s 24/7 world, where if not kept in check, the demands of work can control all other areas of life.

How can you lessen the stress?

Dr. Henry Cloud said it in one word, “Boundaries.”

Boundaries are important in the workplace – on both sides of the equation. As a leader, you want a workforce of people who are effectively engaged and get results. If your team is on the verge of burnout, your results will be impacted.

As an employee, you want to do your job and do it well, but you also need boundaries to ensure that your life stays well-rounded and that your relationships are healthy.

These guidelines work for both leaders and employees, and for internal and external stress factors.

Apply these 3R’s of Stress Reduction

1. Release

Releasing a situation is letting go of a perceived hurt by another person, a dysfunctional relationship with money, or the mistreatment of our own bodies. Symptoms that indicate the need to release something are things like cardiovascular disease, being in debt, or avoiding places where we might encounter “that other person.” If your situation is something you need to release, it’s time to do so. You are hurting no one but yourself if you continue to carry it.

Release perfection, both in your expectations of yourself and your expectations of employees. Strive for excellence, not perfection. Aim for progress, not perfection.

2. Reconcile

This term can be confusing. Most think it means making up with someone else – shaking hands, forgiving, and forgetting. But oftentimes, it simply means coming to terms with reality and accepting it, which is an agreement with either yourself or with someone else. Dropping the wishing and hoping, and recognizing that things are as they are – and that we have choices to be with those people or things – or not. Reconciliation can occur within us, or relationally.

3. Reframe

In a house, reframing is placing a picture or a door in a new frame so that it hangs right and works well. In the relational world – how you relate to yourself and others – it is changing the way you view and experience events, ideas, concepts, and emotions to find more positive alternatives.

Now that you have these options, where do you start?

Begin by identifying what stories you are carrying with you that need changing.

What’s the source of tension? Is it money? A relationship with someone else? An old hurt of some kind that won’t go away?

Then, ask yourself what needs changing.

Whether or not your point of tension involves another person, you can change the way you interface with your particular situation. You are in charge of whether or not you opt to be in the situation in the first place, and if so, how you want to be involved.

By deciding to take charge and delineate better boundaries for your life, you are on the road to creating a happier and healthier outcome.

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

How to Fall in Love with Conflict

January 31, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

How to Fall in Love with Conflict
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Most executives tell me they hate conflict and run quickly from it. And if they can’t escape it, they report handling it poorly. After all, who likes tension?

I’d like to offer an alternate paradigm – how would you like to fall in love with conflict?

I can give you some compelling reasons why – and some tips on making the shift toward welcoming conflict as a growth opportunity.

Need some convincing?

Here is why you want to shift the way you think about and approach conflict.

Conflict will always be present.

I like to say, “Where there are two or more people gathered together, there will be conflict!”

Why? Varying perspectives, beliefs, convictions, agendas… This means you can’t run and hide forever, unless you choose to be a hermit.

Conflict is an opportunity to strengthen working relationships.

If handled well, separating issues from personalities, it can become a way that two opposing parties become a unified team solving a problem together.

Conflict opens doors to new and creative possibilities.

Ever heard someone say, “What’s the third good option?”

This means, can we move from “either, or” (your way or my way), to another solution that might give both of us what we need…that might solve the issue even better?”

How do you get to the point where you actually love conflict when you encounter it?

The tricky thing is most of us fear conflict until we learn how to handle it, and we tend to run to our own platform of emotional safety.

In order to move from fear to a state of openness, you will first want to recognize what conflict can do for you, your relationships, and potential outcomes.

Here are five tips to get you started so that you can truly begin to fall in love with conflict:

1. Begin to shift your personal views about what conflict is.

Begin recognizing that conflict can be an exciting opportunity for dialogue and reaching shared agreement around issues that are important to you and to solving problems.

Conflict is usually a simple combination of (1) two or more people, or different parts of the same person; (2) a disagreement over unresolved issues, process, outcomes, or facts; and (3) negative emotions around strong convictions or one’s opinion on said issue/process/facts.

There can be more variables to creating a conflict, but these three are all you need to get a conflict started. If you find yourself in conflict and can remember the anatomy of conflict above, it will allow you to take a deep breath as you begin to approach it.

2. Recognize that personal triggers around conflict may or may not be valid.

Each time a conflict arises, you probably get two triggers – an emotional one and a physical one.

When this happens, your mind makes up a story to support your bodily sensations and emotions, such as, “This is unpleasant and doesn’t feel good. Leave immediately.”

What you are experiencing is the safety mechanism your brain developed for you from an early age so that you feel safe. However, now that you are an adult, it’s time to re-examine this conditioning, because some of these triggers are no longer useful or valid.

For example, when you were small, you may have felt rejected or inappropriate for speaking up in at the dinner table. But now that you are older, not being able to speak up in groups or social settings may be debilitating for you.

So, as you move forward and experience uncomfortable sensations and emotions, ask yourself if these triggers are valid for the situation, or if you need to take a deep breath and re-examine what is happening.

3. Set the stage for collaboration with others in the conflict.

Change your language about conflict as it arises with others. When the air is tense, it’s helpful to remind yourself and others that this is actually a growth opportunity. Be a leader in setting this new framework with statements or phrases that include, “I’m feeling some tension, here. Can we talk together about the issue that’s stirring the pot for us?” Or, “I feel passionate about this, and it seems like you do, too. I think we can come up with a creative solution. Are you game to sit with me so we can work this out?”

Notice that I am avoiding any finger-pointing in these phrases. I am also using a lot of “we” phraseology – can “we” work this out, can “we” sit down together… By using this kind of language, you are implying that you are collaborative, on the same team. This is when great things can happen.

4. See pause points as growth opportunities.

Are you and the other person in the conflict stalled at a certain point in working things out?

Say so.

Call this out, as though you are noticing an elephant in the room. When tension mounts, so can voices, platforms, and personal agendas.

On the other hand, when you are able to name the tension in the room, this allows the other person to relax a bit, as well. You might ask them if they would like some water or coffee, or to stretch their legs a bit. Get up and stretch yours. This will provide some regrouping of energy and emotion, so that when you come back together to sit and examine the matter at hand, you can do so more even-handedly. And handling things in this way is great growth.

5. Thank the other person for being willing to work things out with you.

At the beginning of your conversation together, and again after you have reached an outcome or conclusion, let the other party know that you appreciate their willingness to explore things together. You want to help them see that working things out with you is collaborative, even-handed, thoughtful, and respectful. You want to encourage them to come back next time so that the two of you can arrive at some great solutions together.

If you can begin to approach conflict with these five steps, you have not only set the stage to work things out, but to forge deeper, more meaningful relationships and greater outcomes.

Where do you feel you excel in conflict management? And where would you like to be stronger?

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

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