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Why Most High-Potential Executives Over-Promise and Under-Deliver

January 25, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Are you over-committed and feeling behind the Eight Ball? Even though it’s stressful, why you do this may shock you. In fact, you may also be getting some secret gratification from it!

The problem is, your professional (and personal!) reputation is suffering because of it. Your credibility is low, and you are missing out on bigger, better professional opportunities.

Ready to make a change?

Let’s take a look at why you may be over-promising and under-delivering.

Which of these scenarios fits you?

1. You want to look good.

If this is you, you may be worried that you are not seen as competitive, or that you aren’t pulling your weight. If so, it’s time to have a conversation with the decision-makers that are allocating your workload, to see how they feel you are doing, and what you might do more or less of, in order to be at your most effective.

2. You are eager to please.

If this is you, you may need to look like a good person. Signs are that you are volunteering to help others with their work when it compromises your ability to accomplish yours, or that you accept work allocated to you that isn’t really your area. If you see yourself here, it’s time to examine whether or not you are seeking to be liked, rather than to be respected.

3. You want to feel like you are accomplishing more.

If this is you, it may be that you have unrealistic expectations of yourself, or you receive your sense of self-worth from achieving. Bad news. This will never stop. You will never reach the point when you feel you are doing “enough.” Time to shift how you receive your self-worth. Not sure what you bring to the table, or need additional confidence, credibility, and currency? See my Leadership DNA program and get on the list.

4. You really don’t want to do what you promised.

This is the hidden deal – you may be suffering from Self-Completion Theory – completing your identity by engaging in activities that reinforce this. And often, people get gratification from simply promising to help others without follow through simply because they already got what they came for – the feeling that they are a good person. Is this you? Time to examine your self-image and the criteria you use to define it.

5. You haven’t confronted the time and energy it actually requires to complete the project.

Okay, face it. If this is you, you keep trying the same way of estimating the time it takes, and you keep coming up short. The problem is, others know it, too. You come up with excuses. You dodge offices and conversations, until you can provide something that you know is sub-par – all because you either under-estimated your own time, or the availability of others to deliver on their part of the project you need to complete. Get realistic. Add 10% more time than you would normally estimate, and test this. Need 15%? Make the change.

Under-promising and over-delivering is always a good way to build your credibility – and get back on track, if you need to do so.

Where in your work or life are you over-promising?

Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

When “Just Do It” Doesn’t Work: Testing Out of Fear

December 14, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

How do you move past fear?

You don’t.

You get underneath it.

You get underneath the fear to the faulty assumptions that are driving it.

Underneath every instance where your confidence falters, or wherever a fear surfaces, there lies a hidden set of faulty assumptions that acts like glue to keep this fear intact.

Ready to break through?

I work with successful executives and business owners who are ready to step into a next level of success. A lot of times, they engage me because they have an incredible vision for their future or special project, or they have just assumed a new and larger role. These scenarios require bigger ways of thinking, acting, and doing, and even the most confident people will find themselves stalled by fears they didn’t realize would emerge.

A client I will call Mara asked me to help her make the move from being a very successful attorney to founding her own consulting firm. This was a major decision for her, but she was convicted and passionate about the change. She had already done all the homework – researching the need for services, defining the value she could bring to the client, weighing the costs and benefits this move would have on her financial future, identifying resources and connecting with key mentors for the help she would need, and putting together a plan of action to actually build the business.

But she called me for support because she couldn’t seem to move forward in working the plan. Specifically, Mara was afraid she would fail as a business owner. Even though she had gone through the planning steps that would support her success, she still feared she would not make it.

I asked her what was behind this fear, and Mara’s faulty assumptions were then revealed.

“Mara, what are you afraid will happen if you fail?”

“Well, other people might think I don’t have what it takes as a business person.”

“Mara, what are you afraid is going to happen if that happens?”

“Well, if others think I don’t have what it takes, I will lose credibility and no one will engage me.”

“And if that happens?”

“Then I’ll lose my home and be homeless – and others will have to take care of me. I will become a non-person – no worth.”

And there it was – the underlying faulty assumption that held Mara back. She feared she would become a non-person, a person of no worth. This was the glue that held her fear together.

“Mara, is it really true that if you fail in business that you will become homeless and of no worth?”

“Well, no – I have a good savings, and a corner on my specialty within law. I could always return with no problem. You know – it’s weird! I didn’t know that underneath all this was a fear that I would become a non-person. That’s not true!”

And yet, this was what was holding her back – the story she told herself, made up of a subconscious set of faulty assumptions that held her fear together like glue.

“Then, how do you get rid of the fear?” Mara asked me. “Because I can tell you that the old Nike adage, ‘Just do it!’ does not work for me.”

“Here’s what you do,” I answered. “You change your story to get rid of the fear. To do this, you don’t confront the fear – you confront the assumptions.”

Confronting the assumptions is confronting the story you are telling yourself, because it is the story that keeps your fear intact. Confronting your assumptions asks that you experiment with scenarios to see if your story is true. But contrary to the adage “Just do it,” by confronting the fear, confronting assumptions to break through fear is more powerful and effective.

Let’s say that you tell yourself that you are afraid to jump in the water because you assume the swimming pool is too cold to get in and swim. So the story you tell yourself is that if you jump in, you will catch a chill and be miserable. If you are miserable, then you will have to stay at home and nurse a cold. And if you stay at home to nurse a cold, you will miss out on all the fun planned for the weekend. And if this happens, well…(you see what I mean!).

To begin testing out of these faulty assumptions, you walk to the edge of the pool. You dip the tips of your toes in the water to see if your foot will be okay with the temperature. It may be a little chilly, but once you see that the toes are fine, you put a bit more of your foot in and go through the same exercise, asking yourself if you are okay. Eventually, you are in the pool up to your neck, enjoying a swim, sun on your face, and wondering why you ever feared the water temperature.

What you are doing throughout this exercise is to stretch your level of comfort bit by bit, pausing each time to observe to see whether your assumptions are true or not. In doing so, you test out of these assumptions by proving them wrong. Once you do this, your mind tells itself a new story. “Hmmm… I guess I don’t need to fear this fear anymore – it was completely unfounded.” So an hour later, if you choose to go back for another swim, you will simply jump in this time, total body. No more fear.

So how did this process work for Mara?

Mara and I devised a plan that incorporated several critical testing points as she moved forward to found her own business. And the results were that over the next 9 months, she was able to cultivate several prospective clients and to secure contracts that would support her over the following 24 months. She gave notice at the law offices, and jumped into her own consulting firm full-time.

“I can’t believe I was afraid of failing,” Mara told me. “Granted, building a business can be extremely challenging – but it’s so rewarding, too. I realize through having cultivated those clients, I am quite capable.”

How about you? What fear is holding you back? What story are you telling yourself to keep this fear intact? Join us on LinkedIn to share, and for more discussion.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Moving to the Front of the Leadership Pipeline

November 30, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

3 Things You Need to Do Now

Are you thinking about moving into higher leadership? There’s some stiff competition out there.

Being seen and selected as “number 1” when it comes to moving up requires more than just being top talent. It requires that you shift how you think, act, and relate.

Many new executives and ascending leaders often think they will see what to do once they “get there.” That’s a big mistake.

You can move to the front of the line quickly by mentally stepping into a leadership position before you get there.

Here are three of the most important steps to begin developing, today:

Develop a wider lens. As you look at your area of responsibility, ask yourself how your area impacts not only other departments, but the organization and its vision. Begin connecting these dots and extend them outside the company to the industry, and to the marketplace. Starting to make wider and higher-level connections as you review your impact will develop your visionary “eye” and strategic thinking skills at new levels.
Refine your decision-making and action-taking skills. When you make the move to more senior leadership, you’ll be moving away even more from the practice of your profession, and much closer to strategy, based on the information your team brings you. Ask yourself if you presently take too much time ruminating on decisions, or if you hesitate in taking action. And ask yourself if you trust your team – do you need to focus more on their development as you move forward? You will want to get in the habit of this with those who support you.
Forge your leadership identity. Making sure that your leadership identity is strong and that it engenders trust and influence. Your distinct leadership “DNA” should be so distinctive that others can easily describe it in value-based terms. Forging this professional ascending will result in followership, leveraging the impact you are able to make.

Ready to go the front of the leadership pipeline? What’s your next move? Join us on LinkedIn to share, and for more discussion.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Mid-Career Conflict

November 2, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

When It’s Not Worth Earning Millions Yearly

Last week, it was my privilege to be in Chicago to address some of the top female producers in the financial services industry. Imagine sitting in a room full of women who earn an annual income of up to and beyond a million dollars!

During our time together, we discussed some of the things these women have had to face in order to generate this kind of income. And we touched on mid-career conflict – something they encounter far more than women in other industries.

In fact, when I mentioned knowing that some of the women in the room were currently weighing their options outside the industry because of the cost of doing business, many heads began to nod, letting me know I hit a sensitive point.

What makes it so that earning more than a million dollars yearly isn’t worth it? Why do so many women leave the industry and give up this kind of money?

At a certain point, these women are feeling the costs of their career. These costs are not related to keeping their business or career afloat; these are personal costs to these professionals. And these personal costs seem too great in relation to the uncertain benefits they might receive in future.

What did they cite as chief costs?

Women are hired in large numbers in the financial services industry, but they are most often in support roles and fewer in managerial positions; less or none on the executive committee (C-Suite). Promotions and bonuses are made behind closed doors, and these are made subjectively. One woman cited that she had outperformed her male counterpart, and her counterpart received a large bonus for performance – when she did not. She had to go in to fight for hers, proving her numbers. “I never should have had to fight for something to which we are told we are entitled,” she said. And I agree.
There may be a few women at the top, but they are on the board, and not on the executive committee. This means that company operating decisions and voice most often do not receive the benefit of diversified perspective and brain trust. Flex time and family leave programs exist, but those women considering them feel others might see them as “non-viable” upon their return.
Women are implicitly held to a higher standard than their male colleagues, as recent studies show. First, the financial services industry expects its top people to reflect typical male traits, being aggressive, dominating, and transactional. Women wind up attempting to masculinize their own traits to meet this. The results are inauthentic and awkward, and women face the double-bind that when they do reflect masculine traits, they are criticized for this, too. Of course, this is discouraging – and women lose confidence that they will succeed. They lose their ambition and many quit.

Now, this is not a man-bashing article. We need both genders, and diversity within those genders, to provide the rich perspective and brain trust that variety can bring. But what we are doing currently is not enough. And I’ll be writing about some solutions to this that we in human development are finding effective in the coming weeks.

But I’m curious: Where would you start to turn this around? Join us for our LinkedIn discussion and share!

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

How Effective Is Your Decision-Making?

August 31, 2016 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Can you afford to make poor decisions?

I doubt many of you feel that you can. In addition to the immediate results you seek, the decisions you make today have bearing on the opportunities you enjoy tomorrow. Moreover, if you are leading others or even an entity, the decisions you make affect a great number of lives and futures.

So how do you check in to see whether your decision-making needs a tune-up?

The simple answer is to ask yourself the following questions:

Are you reaching your goals?
Are you outperforming the competition?
Are you influencing others at a high level?
Are you ready to meet the future?

Rate yourself below to see if you need a tune-up in your decision-making process.

I use a well-defined process to make my decisions.
I seek to identify the real problem before I begin to make a decision.
I weigh the pros, cons, and risks carefully before making decisions.
I include key stakeholders in the decision-making process, even if this will slow down the process or require a great deal of consensus-building.
In my thought process, I tend to use language such as “how might this happen,” rather than, “this can’t happen because…”
If I doubt the final decision, I stop to re-evaluate my assumptions and decision-making process.
Others see me as an excellent problem-solver and seek to include me in significant decisions.

Where do you need to tune up your own decision-making process? I’d love to hear about your own experience!

Click here to join the LinkedIn discussion on this topic.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.