Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

coaching tip

Are You Sure You Want to Be a Leader?

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Are You Sure You Want to Be a Leader?
Image Credit: Shutterstock

3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Commit

What do you need in order to become a leader? And are you sure you really want to be one?

If you are reading this, I imagine you’ve already weighed the pros and cons, and the argument for at least considering the possibility has won.

As an executive coach, I work with decision-makers who lead. These people quite often have substantial areas of responsibility, and they work with me to become even more effective as they seek to do great things.

As we begin our work, I explain to my clients that our work will be 3-pronged. In other words, there are three things we need work with in order to accomplish their goals. You see, the human being is an intricate system, and the major parts of this system must work together closely to accomplish any significant change.

So, if you and I were having coffee together right now, and you told me that your goal was to become a leader, or a more effective one, I would tell you that we are going to assess the following three parts of you to identify what you need to shift in order to get there:

  1. Your mindset
  2. Your actions
  3. Your behaviors

Allow me to set the stage by giving an definition of these three, even though they appear self-explanatory (thanks for indulging me!).

Mindset is not how your physical brain works – it’s how you use your brain to formulate thoughts, synthesize information, define your beliefs, your attitude, and thus, your approach to the world. Mindset drives your desires, your motivation, and your picture of “what’s possible.”

Example: Sonni has managed people for many years, and she believes she can lead the company. She desires to do so, and decides to take the steps necessary to move up this career path. She has weighed her desire against her safety and decided that she won’t get fired or other disastrous consequences. So far, so good. Sonni has asked herself, “What’s possible?”

Actions are those movements, that energetic activity you undertake, once decide to “do something.” These are driven by your desires and your motivation. Your actions are confined to what you believe is possible, what is comfortable, and what is safe (thus dictated by mindset). Even if your mindset says that something is possible, your behaviors may thwart the success of your actions.

Example: Back to Sonni…because of her desire to move up into leadership, she decides to take the action of asking her CEO to be considered for the leadership succession plan. It has taken a lot of courage to get to this point, but her mindset has opened the gate for her to ask. So far, so good. Sonni has taken the action she needs in order to register her desire and be considered.

Behaviors are how you react to internal or external stimuli in various circumstances. These behaviors are exhibited after your mind assesses your desires versus your safety. Safety always wins.

Example: Sonni’s CEO tells her she has a lot of work to do if she wants to be considered for the leadership succession plan. Frankly, her CEO shares, Sonni isn’t seen as CEO material and this comment comes as a surprise. The CEO explains that Sonni doesn’t show the kinds of behaviors needed for leadership – collaboration, building trust, strong presence, influence. And a few other things. Sonni retreats to her desk. She now has a choice – to tell herself she really doesn’t have what it takes (that dastardly doubt that mindset brings when negative emotions threaten its safety) – or to ask herself “What’s possible?” while remaining safe, to shift the necessary behaviors in order to be considered for higher leadership in the company’s succession planning.

Now back to you, and those three questions to ask yourself before you commit.

  1. Does your mindset need to explore what else is possible, or to strengthen belief in your own abilities and potential?
  2. Do your actions tell the world that you are actually showing up as a leader?
  3. Do your behaviors reflect who you want to become?

Which of these three areas do you need to shift in order to become a leader – or a better one?

What impact are you having in life and business?
Click below to take the complimentary Impact Assessment.

TAKE THE IMPACT ASSESSMENThttp://inspireinfluenceimpactquiz.com/

Coaching Your New Manager

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Coaching Your New Manager

5 Paradigm Shifts to Help Them Win

Onboarding and training a first-time manager requires time, money, and energy. Some of you have sent your new hire to “first-time manager training” or boot camps, and others have thrown this budding talent into the deep end, figuring they are smart enough to swim.

But what happens when the initial onboarding and training have taken place? Now it is up to you. You as leader must help them to step into management-level thinking and execution so that they can begin to excel in the job to which you have promoted them.

Why should you do this? You hired this person because of their talent, and you simply need them to apply it in this new job. But the skills that helped them excel in their former role are not what will make them successful now.

Managing people and an area of responsibility is much different than simply performing one’s own work.

So stakes are high. And if you ignore this, it will cost you 6-9 months of the new first-time manager’s salary to replace him or her.

How do you help your first-time manager succeed quickly?

How do you show the company that you have a reputation for selecting great talent and that you are not simply adding to the budget burden?

Some leaders ignore the period after the “hire honeymoon,” moving on to other priorities. They are happy they have this new talent to help out in the department – to lift and shift some responsibilities so that the team operates at greater levels. A leader that does this has hopefully clarified the new role with their new hire, and they have even given the first-time manager a set of goals to meet.

Such a leader figures that if there is a problem in the future, the new manager should either figure it out, or seek advice.

This is short-sighted.

Not only do 60% of new managers fail in the first 12-18 months, most of the time it is not their fault. It is due, most times, to a lack of clarity, direction, resources, and coaching to help them develop management skills. And that’s something over which you have control.

Yes, after the “honeymoon period” of onboarding and initial training is over, it’s time for you to start coaching the first-time manager.

Where do you start?

You can actually help this new hire to speed-dial their management-level thinking to help them make the shift from a narrow, task-oriented world to a broader one of overseeing an area of responsibility and managing people.

You see, thinking governs the way we make decisions and take actions. It dictates the way we see our external world and how we will then approach it. And moving from being responsible for a set of assigned tasks and projects to supporting a team and holding these team members accountable for doing the same is very different!

So how do you help them begin to develop management-level thinking? You can begin by helping them shift some common, self-limiting language patterns to supportive new ones.

Here are the top 5 negative language patterns heard just this week, and how you can gently correct them.

1. From “We can’t because…” to “How can we…?”

A first-time manager cannot necessarily see a larger picture because they have operated within their own former role’s confines and have not been exposed to more. Encourage them to think about possibilities. Ask them the following: “If we could do that thing you are talking about, what are 2-3 ways we might handle it?” Encourage your new hire to be curious by asking how something might be possible, instead of prematurely pronouncing quick judgment.

2. From “I have a problem – what should I do?” to “I’ve identified a problem and have a couple of suggestions as to what we might do…”

A first-time hire wants to look competent by avoiding making mistakes, so they may run to you for answers when they should be thinking about possible solutions, first. Tell your new hire that as a human, they are sure to make mistakes – that everyone does. Tell them it’s more important to you that they begin to bring possible solutions to you so that the two of you can think through best strategy. This relieves you of having to think for two people, and develops their critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

3. From “They’re just that way…” to “This is what I’d like to see…”

Teach your first-time manager to fight bias where other employees are concerned. Instead of allowing them to vilify the employee under discussion, ask your new hire to describe the desired behavior or action they would like to see, instead. Then talk about how they might hold the employee accountable for that. By doing this, you are coaching your first-time manager to take a coaching approach, as well.

4. From “I know I don’t know much, but…” to “One way to approach this is if we…”

In an effort to remain humble or not to appear arrogant or smug, your first-time manager may self-deprecate when offering an opinion. Self-deprecating language is undermining and can actually appear as false modesty. Encourage your new hire to drop all apologetic language and to offer opinions as possibilities. “One way to approach this is if we explore XYZ – what do you think?” is a safe means of offering an opinion while your first-time hire is developing confidence.

5. From “I” to “We.”

This is perhaps one of the most important shifts your first-time manager will need to make. Instead of seeking affirmation for their individual efforts, they need to begin seeing success as a collective effort and acknowledging the team. This point is so important that you may want to have a dedicated conversation around it. Share your own experience. Did you once fall on your face when in that same new position, by trying to “show your stuff with “I” language?” Tell them. Let them know that we all have to learn this at one point – it’s part of growth.

When you coach your first-time manager into management-level thinking, eliminating self-limiting language patterns will help them to replace self-imposed limitations and to model a forward-thinking approach for the entire team.

By the way, if you take these tips and put them to work, not only are you coaching management-level thinking, but you are also helping your first-time manager to reshape their entire approach to work and life. Coaching someone to widen their perspectives and to develop the ability to vision beyond the present is a great gift.

Have you ever had a first-time manager that exhibited defeating language? What would you have liked to hear, instead?

What impact are you having in life and business?
Click below to take the complimentary Impact Assessment.

TAKE THE IMPACT ASSESSMENThttp://inspireinfluenceimpactquiz.com/

Patti Cotton helps executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and the enterprise. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, succession planning, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, leadership development, succession planning, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

A Multi-Million Dollar Company with No One Leading

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A Multi-Million Dollar Company with No One Leading

Mediation and Conflict Resolution

All names and other identifying information have been changed to protect confidentiality.

I was called to work with one of the largest construction companies in the Midwest, which was a recent merger of three very successful smaller construction companies.

“I want you to find out what’s wrong with these employees of mine,” said the president, looking at me across the desk. “These people aren’t putting in the sweat equity they should. In fact, I think a few of them are lazy – some need to be fired. Most are complaining that they haven’t gotten a raise in a long time, but before I go handing out candy, they need to show their stuff and get these back orders out.”

“Back orders?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said. “We have $40 Million in back orders we cannot fill, and the bank is telling me I have 90 days to get it fixed, or they are calling in the loan. We may fold before spring if these lazy employees don’t get cracking.”

The president (we will call him Max) gave me a bit of background about the company. He was formerly the owner of a smaller construction business. Two years prior, he had purchased another construction company, and then invited the president of a third company, Jim, to join him so that together, they formed the largest company in the industry in the Midwest.

As Max gave me more details about this very critical situation, I proposed that we meet with the other owner, Jim, as well as their new COO, Tom, to design a quick, impactful plan to get the back orders out and avoid the bank’s loan recall.

“Oh, no, I don’t want Tom in this. I’m still teaching Tom the ropes of the business, and I want to see how well he does before I give him more responsibility. And Jim and I aren’t, uh, talking to each other right now. He isn’t interested in this side of the business, anyway. He just stays out in his warehouse office and works on his invention.”

“His invention?”

“Listen,” Max shot back, “The co-owner doesn’t care about anything but sitting in his office down the street all day playing with some new product that is supposed to revolutionize the industry. I hate to admit it to you, but he hasn’t seen the financials for more than a year. I’ve been busy putting out other fires. It would be a little embarrassing for me to let him in on what’s happening right now.”

“You mean your co-owner doesn’t know the bank is threatening to recall the loan? That you have $40 Million in back orders you can’t fill?” I stammered.

Max just grinned sheepishly and stared at me.

At this point, dear Reader, you may be thinking this story is fabricated. After all, a real company cannot operate like this, can it? Yes, it can. I was there.

But it was due to fold – with problems obviously starting and ending at the very top.

“Max,” I said, “Before we do anything else, we have to let the co-owner and the COO in on the problem – you are going to need help and buy-in with the solution.”

“It’s all over, then,” he buried his face in his hands. “You don’t understand these guys – they don’t know how to run a business like I do. And they are difficult to deal with.”

I sat in stunned silence. Of course, you know that what was running through my mind was that Max didn’t know how to run a business either – and he was difficult to deal with, too.

How did the company come to this point? It starts and ends with leadership, doesn’t it? The health or lack of health in leadership is felt at every level of any enterprise. And there are several key factors that fell short in this particular case.

But I’ll talk about three important ones here:

1. Lack of clear roles and responsibilities.

Max and Jim had decided that Max would operate as CEO, but they didn’t know what this meant. And they never defined any responsibilities for either of them. Max fell into running the company because he liked being the boss. Jim busied himself with doing what he loved best – tinkering to invent a product that would put the company on the map. Max brought Tom in to fix the “employee problem,” but hadn’t allowed him to get near any employees, yet, except for a small satellite office at the other end of the state. Max said he “wanted to test Tom’s abilities, first.” This had been going on for months when I got there.

2. Lack of accountability.

As you can see from #1 above, none of the executive team was holding themselves or each other accountable. Max loved to sell and make deals, so this is what he was doing with investors – and yet, he wasn’t managing the directors and managers so that the company could run effectively.

Tom, the new COO, had tried to insert himself several times by proposing to oversee the management team, but Max shut him down each time, saying “You need to do what I’ve given you to do first so I can cut you loose.”

Max had, in fact, made the fatal mistake of assigning Tom to a small area of the company that had little to do with production and the problem at hand. And Max wasn’t investigating the real problem, either.

And then, there was Jim. Jim loved to tinker. Alone in his office all day. I still don’t know how he survived his original business before Max brought it on to combine it with his own.

3. Lack of communication.

How in the world did three men who held such high responsibilities find themselves in a place where no one knew what the others were doing – and the company was going down?

A multi-million dollar company with no one leading.

Why didn’t Max communicate? Max claimed that he couldn’t talk to Jim because the latter had a temper, so Max avoided keeping Jim up to date with financials, challenges, and other vital pieces of information. And Max claimed that Tom was too new to know what he was doing and so withheld information from him that could have helped Tom to help the company.

Why didn’t Jim communicate? He told me he thought Max was an arrogant idiot who was so hard-headed that it was impossible to talk with him. Jim said that Tom was a nice fellow, but he wasn’t sure he trusted him because Tom was always in Max’s office.

And Tom? Tom didn’t communicate with Max because he had asked too many questions too many times and been shut down to the point where he was silently contemplating quitting and moving his family back East. And he didn’t communicate with Jim, because Jim always had his door closed down at that warehouse office.

At every turn, there were unspoken conversations and unresolved conflict because people weren’t asking the hard questions, and providing tough information to each other.

Avoiding these critical conversations had resulted in one giant fiasco.

You can guess that the initial meeting with the four of us was not a gentle one. Tempers and voices flared, and it took some mediating to reach an agreement as to how to talk with each other and work through the problem so that we could get to the issues at hand. We finally reached consensus on what strategies to take, who would be responsible for what, and how to hold self and each other accountable through this critical process.

I frankly breathed a sigh of relief. Mediating and coaching conflict in such a situation are not easy, but we came out linking arms.

Sometime later, after leadership diverted the crisis, I would fire Max (yes, I have fired a couple of clients). I would have loved to stay on to help shift culture, and help the company excel. But Max was not willing to be transparent with Jim and Tom about some critical issues, and he wasn’t willing to work on his own leadership. He just kept blaming everyone and everything else. Shortly after I fired him, his board fired him as well.

I’m glad to say that Tom has taken over running the company, and has really turned things around. And Jim? He is still inventing things in his warehouse office that are bound to revolutionize the industry.

What poor style of leadership have you witnessed or heard about in the past?

Curious about your strengths in leadership?
Click below to take the Impact Assessment.

TAKE THE IMPACT ASSESSMENThttp://inspireinfluenceimpactquiz.com/

Patti Cotton is a CEO and former foreign diplomat. A sixth generation business owner, Patti not only coaches leaders – she has extensive experience in actually being one. Her experience, record of unprecedented success, and extensive training and certifications make her uniquely qualified to bring value to you and your team in the areas of leading self, leading others, and leading the enterprise.

Patti’s areas of focus include leadership and talent development, with specialization in leadership behavior and communication, conflict management, executive presence, succession planning, and strategic personal, leadership, and organizational growth.

With over 25 years of proven leadership experience, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across diverse industries. As an executive coach, trainer, and Fortune 500 speaker, she will inspire, influence, and impact your organizational leaders to reach new heights of success in their personal and professional growth, and to improve performance across your organization.

For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

When Leadership Abdicates the Throne

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When Leadership Abdicates the Throne

Most know the romantic short version of the story of King Edward VIII and American socialite divorcée Wallis “Wally” Simpson. The young king gave up the throne so that he could marry and spend the rest of his life with his love.

The longer version of this story is seldom discussed, and it’s not quite as romantic. In fact, the situation was fraught with tangled and tawdry conflicts up from the time they met until the end of the couple’s lives.

The history books recount Edward publicly showering Wally with jewels and lavish vacations, and upon becoming king, continuing to consort with the still-married Wally, creating scandal and confusion touching not only his own family, but also the government and the United Kingdom. Even after abdicating the throne, Edward and Wally continued to flirt and fraternize with risky and dangerous relationships and situations, including heavy indicators that they supported Adolf Hitler and his efforts.

What does this wild situation have to do with leadership in the workplace?

Whether Edward should have left the throne for the woman he loved is not in judgment. Rather, it is the way he went about things – poor focus, direction, and execution. This resulted in a loss of trust and support by his inner circle and his country, and a challenging life after leaving the throne.

It’s when you’ve lost the trust and support of your people that it’s “game over.”

What does leadership abdication look like in the workplace?

It may be more subtle than stepping down from a royal throne, but it’s just as damaging.

Here are some styles of those at the top who may or may not be physically present, but who abdicate their responsibility as leaders.

Through poor behaviors and approaches, these hurt the morale, and productivity of those around them. Teams silo. Key talent leaves. Confusion reigns. The bottom line suffers. Do you or anyone you know have a boss like one of these? Or, as a leader, do you identify with any of these traits in your own leadership or in that of your team?

  • Jan, the Benevolent Dictator.

The Benevolent Dictator is the proverbial maternal/paternal figure, who keeps a tight rein on everyone. As a report, you aren’t always sure what you are supposed to do until you get directives from Jan – what to do, how to do them – and then Jan will check with you frequently to make sure you are doing what she told you to do. Sometimes she will even change her mind about what she tells you to do so that you have to change direction in the middle of a process. In short, the micro-manager extraordinaire, Jan may have you in her office several times weekly to tell you when to turn right or left. Is it any surprise that Jan doesn’t have her team operate from an action plan that empowers them and allows them to move forward on their own? In addition, chances are, your job description is “in the pile to update,” and so is your raise. Good luck with that.

  • Sam, the Disappearing Act.

Sam likes for you to take over while he disappears. In the beginning, it was pretty exciting to have so much leeway with what and how you run your area of responsibility. But then, you began to catch on – Sam reappears at the oddest times, parachuting into the middle of your projects and decisions. He questions what and why you are doing what you are doing. He changes things. It’s pretty frustrating, and you can lose credibility with others when he does this. Feel like a yo-yo?  You are. You’ve probably been promised a promotion for some time, and it’s overdue. If you could just get some time with Sam to discuss – but then, everyone else is lining up with questions, too. Because there are some critical, time-sensitive decisions that have been waiting for his endorsement – and he hasn’t been around to answer them until right now. Catch him quickly! Because, when you least expect it, Sam will be out the door, again.

  • Julia, the Decision-Adverse Boss.

Julia is famous for bringing enough of her homemade strawberry pie into the office for everyone to have a slice. She knows the names of all your kids and pets. She plans the best staff retreats. But it never seems like the right time to get a decision on critical items from Julia. “Let me mull this over,” and “That’s a great idea – let’s put it on our list,” are two of her favorite responses to your queries. Face it – you just can’t move forward with some of your initiatives without her help. You get the feeling that she cares about some things – just not about getting the work done. So forget your goals. Have another slice of pie. P.S. You’d better hope that when evaluation time comes around, she doesn’t blame you for poor performance.

  • Jim, the Easter Bunny.

Jim loves everyone, and everyone (seems?) to love him. He thrives on being liked, and it’s because of this that he refuses to do the right thing. Jim doesn’t want anyone to think he is playing favorites. Consequently, he hands projects and opportunities out like candy, and when one person gets a raise, everyone gets one. You can imagine with this kind of distribution that the remuneration is modest. You’ll hear things like, “Well, let’s see, you say you are doing twice the work that old Bernie is, and that you have twice as many reports, and twice as much revenue to generate as he does. But, you know, Bernie has been with us for 25 years, now. We wouldn’t want him to get the wrong impression, would we? So let’s just hold that promotion idea until we can come up with something for him, too. Maybe we can take it up with the team tomorrow.”  Just a word, here, but you’ve probably already guessed it:  Tomorrow never comes.

  • Mark, the Candy Man.

Who’s a good girl or boy? I’ll tell you who – it’s whoever is favored at the moment. Feel like you are favored? Try as you might, you won’t find out why you are loved at the moment, so you just hope you keep doing whatever it is keeps you on the boss’ good side. On the other hand, do you feel like the boss is spanking you for something and you don’t know why? Chances are you won’t find that out, either. You may not have done anything wrong, but the boss will deny any unfair treatment when you ask about it. Meanwhile, you feel like you are continually shut down – your ideas, the way you do things. Tired of playing with crazy? Time to think about alternatives.

There are so many ways of abdicating one’s responsibility in leadership. But no matter what style or behavior it is that holds someone back from leading, it always winds up damaging self, others, and the enterprise.

What poor style of leadership have you witnessed or heard about in the past?

Curious about your strengths in leadership?
Click below to take the Impact Assessment.

TAKE THE IMPACT ASSESSMENT

Patti Cotton is a CEO and former foreign diplomat. A sixth generation business owner, Patti not only coaches leaders – she has extensive experience in actually being one. Her experience, record of unprecedented success, and extensive training and certifications make her uniquely qualified to bring value to you and your team in the areas of leading self, leading others, and leading the enterprise.

Patti’s areas of focus include leadership and talent development, with specialization in leadership behavior and communication, conflict management, executive presence, succession planning, and strategic personal, leadership, and organizational growth.

With over 25 years of proven leadership experience, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across diverse industries. As an executive coach, trainer, and Fortune 500 speaker, she will inspire, influence, and impact your organizational leaders to reach new heights of success in their personal and professional growth, and to improve performance across your organization.

For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

How to Navigate Office Politics

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How to Navigate Office Politics

Are you a victim or perpetrator of bad office politics?

Sooner or later, you will find that you play both roles – unless you know how to navigate the waters.

What are office politics, and why are they hated?

Office politics get a bad rap, when they actually should be embraced as part of business expertise.

The problem arises when we don’t know how to work with office politics, or worse, we use them to seek advantage at the expense of others or the greater good. This is when things can turn ugly, personal, and damaging.

If you think you can simply avoid becoming involved, think again. When two or more people are gathered together, there will be politics. Politics are strategies people use in order to gain advantage. As human beings, we do this naturally, in order to get what we want, or to advocate for a larger cause.

At best, we call it “influence.”  And since reputations, relationships, and careers are made or broken because of office politics, we should learn to master them so that results turn out to be “win-win.”

We often find it difficult to deal with office politics effectively because we don’t know how to approach them. Because of this, we may unwittingly be promoting them, despite our insistence that we don’t play.

When we realize that office politics are here to stay, we can come out on top and make them work for us.

How?

By following these 3 rules:

1. Strengthen your own circle of influence.

Instead of approaching office politics as damage control, see them as useful dynamics to help everyone get ahead. Focus on the positive by strengthening key relationships on a continual basis to expand your influence. When things get hot, you will be well-positioned to emerge victorious. On the other hand, if you are someone who doesn’t have the advantage of guidance or a support network, and you are constantly trying to prove yourself, you are in a vulnerable position and can be shot down easily, whether you are in the room or not.

2. Avoid dysfunctional patterns.

Don’t take sides. When you do this, you polarize people and cloud the issues. Ask yourself – and others – what the issues are, and avoid disparaging remarks about personalities. Make sure that if things get personal, you are the one who pulls the conversation back to the issues. Don’t climb into the pit with others who want to hurt or discredit.

3. Shift the larger culture.

Select a few key colleagues of integrity, and agree that you will be positive PR for each other. I have worked with many groups of professionals, both in the business world and in international government relations. This one strategy has worked to turn entire company cultures around. Are you in the room when an absent colleague is being discussed? Put in a good word for this colleague. Talk about their latest success with a project, initiative, or the way they approach their work.

I challenge you to see office politics as a way to influence a win-win situation!

Patti Cotton helps executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and the enterprise. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, succession planning, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, leadership development, succession planning, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.