• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

  • About
  • Consulting
  • Training
  • Speaking
  • Blog
  • Contact

Trust

When Your Executive Can’t Get to the Point

March 24, 2021 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

When Your Executive Can’t Get to the Point
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Have you ever had an executive who just can’t seem to get to the point?  It can be an agonizing monologue, and you, as listener, can easily get lost in their narrative.

How do you help them shorten up the time they spend in detail so that you can determine what they need from you?

Tom asked me to work with him on his tolerance levels with key executives. “Specifically, I’m at my wit’s end with John, one of my key executives.”

“I can’t get past his droning narrative,” Tom continued. “It’s as if every conversation he has begins with when he was born and where. Then I start bristling and cut him off. Lately, I’ve noticed him shutting down, and I’m sure it’s because of my reaction. What do I do?”

“John may be a functional communicator*,” I said. “Does he love details and timelines?”

“I don’t know what a functional communicator is, but he thrives on timelines and charts,” Tom answered. “Burying himself in step-by-step guides and combing through details are a mental trip to Disneyland for John. It drives me crazy!”

“And how do you like to get things done, Tom?” I asked.

“Listen, I’m a big-picture thinker,” he responded. “Don’t bog me down with details. Give me a quick overview, and let me ask a few careful questions. That’s how we can move forward quickly.”

“Then I would call you an intuitive communicator, Tom,” I said. “Too many details can seem distracting to you.”

“You aren’t kidding,” Tom said. “My skin starts crawling when we drop below 40,000 feet.”

“Well, Tom, since you say John is great talent, and you want to negotiate a better way of communicating with him, here are four steps you can take with him.”

  1. Let him know you value his contributions.

Tell John he may have noticed you becoming frustrated upon occasion and that you apologize for this. Share that you recognize this is due to your differing communication styles and is no reflection on how you regard his talent or positive impact on the team.

  1. Share your observation about your communication styles.

Note he appears to be a functional communicator. He likes to outline things in a step-by-step way so that nothing is missed and provide details so that someone has full information by the time he is finished presenting. Ask him if this is correct. After listening and confirming, be sure you let him know you appreciate his desire to be thorough. Then, share your communication style with him.  As an intuitive communicator, you appreciate the aerial view. You like the big picture, and details can be distracting to you. You prefer for him to stick to the main topic and allow you to ask follow-up questions. You will then ask him to share other details he feels are relevant after you ask your questions.

  1. Pick a topic and role play.

Experiment with how it would be to communicate in each other’s preferred styles. In other words, after selecting the topic, share first with him, outlining all details and info John might appreciate. Debrief after having done so to see if this is helpful to him. Then, have John try your style with the same topic, identifying the main point in a sentence and its present or potential impact. He will then sit back for questions. Again, debrief.

  1. Practice.

As you meet together, continue to try each other’s styles as you communicate. Ask each other how it is working, and what could go better. Make sure that you don’t treat this as a test, but as experimenting to find the right way for both.

The next time you become frustrated with a colleague’s communication style, ask yourself what would work for you, instead. Then have the conversation with that person and ask them about their experience with you. Do they also need something different, in order to communicate more smoothly? Suggest experimenting such as is outlined above, and see if this doesn’t improve your working relationship and your ability to get things done together.

*Mark Murphy’s 4 Communication Styles, Leadership IQ


The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Putting Tough Feedback to Work for You

January 27, 2021 By Patti Cotton 1 Comment

Putting Tough Feedback to Work for You
Image Credit: Shutterstock

It stings when someone else shares how you might improve your leadership. Receiving constructive criticism can feel painful.

As humans, we seek to be loved and accepted. When someone provides feedback intimating that we still have work to do in order to be amazing, it can threaten our sense of self-worth. The haunting doubt as to whether we are “good enough” to be accepted, to belong, rises up.

How can you as leader turn this around and put feedback to work for you?

Constructive feedback is necessary to our growth and professional development. We all have blind spots. And since we don’t have the same vantage point that others do, their perspective can be invaluable.

There are three important steps, however, to making sure that we take full advantage of the situation.

1. Practice careful listening.

As you receive the information from the other person, try to remember that this is actually a gift that can help you move forward. Refrain from interjecting, objecting, defending, or explaining in any way, and simply thank them, instead. If you need clarification, ask questions in order to better understand. This is a time to put your listening skills to work, which is much different than simply hearing. For more on this, download the free infographic “How to Raise Your Influence in Less Than Five Seconds.”

Download the Free Infographic

Fill out the form below and get instant access to the HOW TO RAISE YOUR INFLUENCE IN LESS THAN 5 SECONDS infographic.

Share0
Tweet0
Share0

2. Consider the feedback carefully.

You may feel defensive and want to discount what you have just heard. Or you may feel a need to rush to action in an attempt to remedy what has been pointed out as shortfall. Resist these impulses. Instead, weigh carefully what you have heard. Can you see how the feedback might be true? Is the person providing the feedback credible? Have you received this same constructive criticism from other people? If you are not sure, check quietly with a couple of trusted colleagues to test this out.

3. Develop a plan to close the gap.

Return to the person who provided you with feedback and ask them to clarify what success looks like. Work with a trusted mentor or coach to identify steps and tools that will help you get there and ask them to be your accountability partner. Check in from time to time to gauge the effectiveness of your plan not only with this partner, but also with the person who provided you with the gift of feedback.

Putting tough feedback to work for you requires courage. But the payoff in your ability to be effective can be tremendous.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Keeping Your Head in the Game: Leadership 2021

January 6, 2021 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Keeping Your Head in the Game: Leadership 2021
Image Credit: Shutterstock

It’s a new year, and the pundits are calling 2021 the Year of Transition. If anything has changed, it has been that we have acclimated to a new way of working and living.

There are definite perks to this, but there have also been major drawbacks which have caused us to abandon much of what we know and adopt a learner’s mindset out of necessity.

Admit it – it’s been rough. Many of you reading this are tired. And some of you have called me, asking me how you can get your head back into the game.

What does it take to reenergize and motivate you as leader so that you can lead your life and work in 2021?

I work primarily with top executives to recreate future, working with their respective teams and companies, and also in small leadership groups where CEOs can put their heads together to share experiences and ideas. When we work on meeting the future, motivation of self is a hot topic.

And here is what we know: the head game of motivation requires that you focus on three things:

1. Purpose

Energy and engagement come from purpose. After weathering the initial shock and challenges of 2020, your physical and mental stores may be depleted. Revisiting your purpose is a first necessary step to picking back up. Why do you lead? What impact do you hope to make? What legacy are you seeking to create? If you keep pushing forward but cannot answer these questions, you will be headed for burnout. I invite you to take time to reflect on this. Call a coach or trusted advisor and talk through this. Because anything sustainable starts with purpose.

2. Direction

Know where you are headed. It is true that long-term planning is no longer valid due to the volatility and uncertainty around the future of work. Instead, one must use shorter-term planning to head in a general direction, and continuously bench against the changes in the business landscape. Keep your organizational vision at the forefront as you acquire the personal agility needed to meet goals and objectives. This particular step requires that you also open up to the perspectives of others. Seasoned leaders are comfortable doing things in the familiar way. And the word familiar is one that will not be used often in 2021.

3. Synergy

Leadership has been lonely, but then, we haven’t learned how to share it very well. Leading forward now requires the shift from “me” to “we,” for connection, mutual support and collective accountability. Inviting your executive team to share the vision is a first step, but the next is to allow them to share in greater responsibilities – the kind that ignites their purpose, as well. Raising the tenor of team energy is the magic we need to create great things together. Where do you start? Begin with a conversation around this topic. Ask for their ideas and feedback, ask what it would take for them to get excited around the idea. I believe this might be one of the most meaningful brainstorming you will have experienced for a long time – and it can yield great fruit.

My wish for you in 2021 is to know that you have what it takes (I know some of you question this at this time). My challenge to you is to rediscover your purpose and direction, and to create that synergy that will lift you up, as well as your team, so that you can move confidently to meet the future.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Is Your New Executive a Poor Cultural Fit – or Simply Situationally Unaware?

October 21, 2020 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Is Your New Executive a Poor Cultural Fit – or Simply Situationally Unaware?
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Most often, great new talent will fail, not because they are incompetent, but because they are what we call a “poor cultural fit.”

Such “poor fits” usually don’t last more than 12-18 months. It’s a big loss for the organization and the executive, both in morale and in the investment of money and time.

But more often than not, what is labeled as “poor cultural fit” is really a lack of situational awareness.

Is your new executive a poor fit? Or simply situationally unaware?

When Chris called me, she was completely demoralized.

“Patti, I have an excellent team. We’ve been through crisis and change and are even stronger than before. But I’m incredibly disappointed about my newest hire, Stan. He was the most promising talent when we onboarded him. And what a track record! But he’s not connecting the dots here at the company. He keeps missing the mark. He’s just an incredibly poor fit with our culture!”

“Chris, what are you seeing that tells you he’s a poor fit?”

“Well, he doesn’t seem to grasp the organizational structure when he makes decisions. The other day, he rode right over my top project manager to fast-track one of his initiatives. And even though we approach decision-making in a democratic fashion, he continues to call the shots on things in which he should include others. I guess I’ve hired a racehorse that doesn’t belong here.”

“Chris, is he willful or stubborn? In other words, is he trying to show off?”

“No, Patti – he truly just seems to operate differently, the way I described. Is there anything I can do?”

“I actually think there is, Chris. If my hunch is correct, Stan lacks situational awareness.”

“Explain, please,” answered Chris.

“Stan may simply need to develop a better lens in reading the social and political currents of the organization. Right now, it sounds as though he doesn’t have a good read on your organizational norms – the way you do things there. And he may also not understand the power relationships and how they work at the company.”

“Whatever it is, please help,” said Chris. “The other team members are distrustful of Stan, and his seasoned reports are shutting down.”

Chris arranged for me to meet Stan the next week. I felt sorry for him. He realized he was making mistakes and had become frustrated.

“I’m finding it very difficult to get things done here, Patti,” he said. “I’ve been handed some aggressive goals. and I see what’s possible. But I seem to keep treading on people’s toes, and there are obviously some unspoken rules around here. I’m lost.”

Stan and I talked a bit about his onboarding process.

“Truthfully, I was welcomed at a strategic planning retreat and met all my colleagues. I have meant to get around to meeting each one, learning more about what they do, how things work. But we have some time-sensitive goals, and they are pretty challenging. So, I’ve gotten to know them only through our interactions in team meetings. And, of course, I have a copy of the strategic plan with responsibilities assigned.”

“Who is mentoring you in this first phase of your employment?” I asked.

“Mentoring? No one. Chris says she’s available for any questions. But she’s pretty busy. I’m just pushing through this as best I can. But I’m really not making friends.”

I sat with Chris later and shared my thoughts.

“You have a bright executive. And he’s willing. He knows he’s in trouble. The challenge here is that he doesn’t have someone to walk him through the political and social networks he needs to know in order to get things done.”

“I’ve been pretty busy,” Chris admitted. “He does come in and ask questions from time to time. We talked through his responsibilities with the strategic plan. What else can I do?”

“Have you identified key stakeholders for each of his initiatives and introduced him to them?”

“No,” Chris answered slowly.

“Have you walked through your decision-making process here at the company?” I asked.

“No,” she said. Her shoulders drooped. “Wow. I’ve really messed up this onboarding, haven’t I? I’ve actually set him up for failure.”

“It’s not too late,” I countered. “Let’s sit with him and get a plan together. I don’t think you need to bear the full responsibility of this – but it needs to be orchestrated. I have some ideas.”

A few weeks later, Stan called me to thank me.

“What a difference,” he said. Taking the time to talk through how things work around here, how people get things done – invaluable. Having a couple of colleague mentors to help bounce things off of before I press a button – what a change. I just wanted to thank you.”

“Stan, I’m glad it’s working out,” I said. “You have a lot of contribute.”

“You know, Patti, I guess I should have asked Chris to help me come up with such a strategy. It never occurred to me since I had never encountered such a problem elsewhere. But – lesson learned.”

Lesson learned is exactly what Chris said later, as well.

“We all have our growing edges, Chris,” I said. “You have pushed through another one. You are on your way.”

What about you? Do you have an executive who finds it hard to get the work done?

Do they tread on others’ toes? Are they having trouble connecting the dots? It will be well worth your time to sit with your team member to explore where the gaps are. And be prepared because you may discover that one of the gaps is you.

In addition to resolving the issue, it could be a great opportunity for leadership growth at many levels, including your own.

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Can You Pivot and Flex to Meet the Unexpected?

October 7, 2020 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Can You Pivot and Flex to Meet the Unexpected?
Image Credit: Shutterstock

How powerful is your “pivot and flex”? Can you shift gears and make critical decisions when the unexpected leaves other leaders in a state of paralysis?

Your agility as a leader is paramount to meeting the future well.

How do you develop this ability so you can anticipate and get ahead?

David had risen through the ranks of Parkside Products’ early days. Having served as CEO for more than 10 years, he expanded the company’s footprint to represent in all 50 states. Because of his leadership, the business world recognized Parkside for quality and value.

Then, crisis hit.

And Parkside wasn’t ready.

COVID conditions slowed production significantly. And although David was heartened on one hand that they were still able to operate, he was extremely worried about fulfilling commitments.

Unless David could approach the business differently, Parkside would go under.

“I’ve thought for some time that I should brush up on how I lead this company,” David shared with me. “And I’m sorry it took such a crisis for me to act on it by calling you for help. What can I do?”

“David, you aren’t alone,” I said. “And you are right – it’s time to act.”

“Where do I begin?” David asked. “There is no end to good information and advice from experts in my industry. It’s that I’m not sure who to listen to, or how to plot the course. I’ve never led in a crisis.”

“It begins with your mindset,” I responded. “And you have an open one. That’s what it takes to step into new and more complex situations.”

Over the day, David and I worked together to assess how he approached decision-making and taking action on critical matters. I noted that he had good self-awareness on several fronts, but that he didn’t realize that, when he convened his team, he tended to dominate the space. As a result, his talented team was not speaking up. This meant that they were missing out on serious brainstorming and the sharing of new ideas.

“David,” I shared later, “we need to develop your self-awareness about how you make space for the team to contribute ideas and participate in decision-making.”

I went on to explain what I had seen, and he received the feedback well. This was just the first step, however. Here are the three steps we worked on to develop greater agility in David’s leadership:

Key Steps in Developing Leadership Agility

  1. Self-awareness

    In order to develop the ability to meet today’s complexity, a leader must first recognize his or her growth opportunities. This is not always easy to identify, and outside observation or a targeted assessment is often helpful.

  1. Experimenting with new behaviors

    Once the leader has identified where he/she can benefit from greater agility, new behaviors to support this must be identified and put to practice. Careful monitoring on a regular basis to assess the effectiveness of these behaviors is necessary.

  1. Seeking feedback

    As the leader practices the new behaviors that will support greater agility, seeking feedback to see what’s working helps to fast-track success. Seeking this from one’s executive team or with the people one works with most, will be highly effective.

Where could greater agility serve you as leader?

  • Is it in learning how to bring people along to meet the vision?
  • Does it create a shift in the way you make decisions, so they are even more effective?

I challenge you to seek feedback from those closest to you and to consider making the changes that will allow you to meet the future, now.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Page 2
  • Page 3
  • Page 4
  • Page 5
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 11
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Patti Cotton
Tweets by @PattiCotton
  • About
  • Consulting
  • Training
  • Speaking
  • Blog
  • Contact
Home | Contact | Privacy Policy

© 2024 Cotton Group LLC | PATTI COTTON 360° LEADERSHIP®