Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

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Five Hidden Factors Resulting in Meeting Stalemates

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Five Hidden Factors Resulting in Meeting Stalemates
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You’ve reached an impasse in the meeting. Emotions are high.

It’s another stalemate, and this is becoming habit on your team.

Why does this happen? And how do you break through this and reach consensus?

Meeting shutdowns happen for a variety of reasons. And all the tips in the world to facilitate meetings will not work unless you move past the five most common hidden roadblocks that impel people to leave the conversation.

When a meeting stalemates, it is often because team members leave the “window of tolerance,” a term coined by Dan Siegel in his book Mindsight. The window of tolerance is the zone in which people operate optimally, functioning, managing, and thriving. It is the space in which we can do our best critical thinking, exchanging, and considering ideas because when we are in this zone, we are able to use our executive brain – the part of the brain where functions such as creativity, reasoning, critical thinking, and more are centered.

When people leave the window of tolerance, they move to one of two states.

  1. Hyper-arousal

Here, a person will want to fight or flee. They may feel anxious or angry. Emotions run high, and any thinking is based on survival and safety.

  1. Hypo-arousal

Here, a person will shut down, and feel spacey or numb. The body might want to freeze or shut down, and it is difficult to think at all.

How does this work in meetings?

Team members may become heated and even irrational in their attempt to drive home opinions or resist those presented by others. Other team members can shut down and leave the conversation entirely.

When this happens, meeting effectiveness comes to a halt. Most often, the group will decide they need to meet at a later time to revisit the topic. Important decisions are placed on hold. Executives and areas of responsibility are held back. The organization is in limbo.

How do you handle this?

Here are five of the most common inhibitors and some ideas to help the team break through to move forward.

  1. A lack of clarity about the idea or concept presented.

Is the idea or concept being stated clear to others? Has the presenter explained this in a way that everyone understands? If you have a person who cannot state ideas succinctly, this is enough to cause others to discount their message. If you have someone on the team who takes too much space in explaining concepts, here is a “cheat sheet” to help them frame their message in a way that is more concise and convincing.

  1. A lack of understanding as to the business impact or benefits to the organization.

Do people understand how the topic at hand impacts the business? When exploring ideas to support decisions, it is important to connect the dots. How will the idea being presented benefit and impact the organization? What negative realities will need to be dealt with if the overall concept is of value? Asking these questions can help your team think beyond the immediate.

  1. Bias around the message bearer.

It is important for team members to check in on this. We all carry bias. The question is, how do we choose to handle it? Notice if you discount messages coming from any particular team member due to your personal bias about them. How can you give space and compassion to that person and consider the idea they are presenting? This is perhaps the toughest of the five roadblocks, and yet, the most beneficial when we begin to adopt a stance reflecting more empathy and compassion.

  1. Conflict with a personal agenda or conviction.

If a concept is presented that moves counter to the way your own area of responsibility operates, it is enough to cause internal conflict and an aversion to remain open to possibility. Most of us are inclined to respond with statements such as, “Well, that will never work because…” or “We just don’t do things that way…”

Consider replacing these kinds of statements with those such as, “How would that work? What might the benefits be?” This helps you and others stay in the conversation and play with possibilities that could be game changers for your business and the impact it has on the world.

  1. A lack of willingness to embrace change

Change is really tough, and it is not fun. Why? We are creatures of habit and love our comfort zones. Yet, change is when exciting things can happen, and we can take advantage of the opportunity to grow. Check yourself when you feel resistance to change. Recognize where you are in the change cycle on the particular issue being addressed. Then ask yourself what possible benefit you and the organization might enjoy if the change takes place. Awareness around your own resistance and how to manage it if you see benefit are empowering.

Only after these roadblocks have been addressed can you actually move forward to play well as a team and make good decisions together. I challenge you to discuss these factors with your team to begin a new way of approaching and implementing your decision-making together.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

How to Prepare for Unexpected Change

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How to Prepare for Unexpected Change
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Change is inevitable. As the world changes, so we must adapt. When you lead, this means change management on a large scale. When you aren’t in charge, it means that you must know what to anticipate so that you can lower your own stress and support your team through the process.

How do you plan for change, even if it’s unexpected?

Understanding the four stages of change will help you to meet it proactively so that you can avoid pitfall and accelerate positive outcomes.

The Change Curve – the Four Stages of Change

The Change Curve is a popular model that explains how organizations and people move through change. It’s helpful to understand so that you can help lead change – whether or not you are in charge. There are many variations of this, but we think that Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, well-known for her work on personal transitions with grief and bereavement, was the originator of the concept.

The Change Curve outlines four stages that people experience as they adjust and adapt to change. I’ve placed recommendations behind each of these to share how you can develop a framework for a change plan if and when change must occur.

Stage 1. Shock and Denial.

This is a time to reinforce trust. Keep the vision and mission in front and reinforce stability. Exhibit authenticity through open and timely communication throughout all levels of the business. The communications need to share what the change is, why it is needed, and the benefits to this. Share what you do know and what you don’t know. Built trust through sharing how and when they can anticipate more answers as you know them.

  • When you are in charge, you will want to make sure that these communications are shared in a timely way with your team, and that you allow time for questions and discussion. Be transparent by identifying those answers you don’t have, rather than trying to come up with a slick answer. Keep your door open. Remind them that change is constant, and that you are confident you and the team can work through this.
  • When someone else is in charge, be authentic through asking your questions during the group’s meeting time instead of doing this in corners outside the meeting. This keeps the team intact and allows all to benefit from discussing the topic and learning from it. Decide that you can use this change to showcase your knowledge and skills, and that if some of those are not yet learned, that this is an opportunity to do so.

Stage 2. Reactions and Resistance.

Understand that the threat of change can be real. People will wonder how they need to shift or change their way of working in order to remain effective. And some may even fear losing their position. This is a time when you will want to draw from empathy and compassion as performance may dip temporarily. Put yourself in the shoes of others and be tough on issues, tender on people.

  • When you are in charge, encourage your people by touching base more frequently with them, asking how you can help. Remember that as people struggle to adapt, they may exhibit additional stress in different ways. Stay focused on the issue and not the personality as you manage this.
  • When someone else is in charge, check your attitude. Keep the bigger picture in mind and support your colleagues through positive thoughts and language. If someone appears to have a rough moment or day, ask if you can help, rather than to avoid them.

Stage 3. Turning Point to Acceptance.

Change requires courage and humility. Taking on new ways of operating together, of performing work means making mistakes and pushing through until success is met.

  • When you are in charge, admit that mistakes will be made and that this is a time of learning. Show your courage and humility by sharing a bit of how you are learning as well. Continue to communicate frequently and to acknowledge wins and positive behaviors in the team.
  • When someone else is in charge, recall how you have successfully moved through change in the past and hold realistic expectations for your learning. Ask your leader how you are doing and check in as you need to in order to get a pulse on anything you need to do differently at this stage.

Stage 4. Embracing and Managing Change.

Motivation is key here (and of course, it is key all through the four stages!). Acknowledging wins and linking these wins to results needs to be stressed. As people master new ways of doing and operating individually and together, these culture shifts in mindset and behaviors can falter under stress. Sharing incremental wins and the results they engender is key.

  • When you are in charge, recognition is key here. Any incremental wins, results, in behaviors such as heightened teamwork, performance, mastery of a skill or effective problem-solving is fair game for celebration. Share these celebrations with your team as a way to motivate them and move them forward.
  • When someone else is in charge, pat yourself on the back as you master a step in a new process or way of doing. As you notice the positive aspects of working together on projects or initiatives, recognize this and acknowledge it to those involved. Celebrate to reinforce and motivate yourself and others.

Change can be challenging, but change can be exciting.  It’s an opportunity to learn, grow, and to celebrate this. It can provide career opportunities, help the business to make greater impact on community and society. Making change should always mean making things better. Approaching this in a proactive way is always much more rewarding.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Five Ways to Sound More Strategic

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Five Ways to Sound More Strategic
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Is your strategy showing? You may be a knowledge expert with a strong leadership lens, but unless others can see it through the way that you present your ideas, they may discount your expertise.

How can you showcase your ability to be strategic, so others take you more seriously?

1. Lead with the end in mind.

Give the answer first, and then back this up by bulleting your main points before you go into details. This is a strong way to begin your delivery and helps listeners remain focused as they know what to anticipate.

Here is an example:

The Answer: “We will be expanding into Texas, Georgia, and Virginia.”

Bullet Points: The three reasons we have decided to do this are:

    1. The cost of doing business;
    2. Available workforce; and
    3. A solid economy.

The Details: Here’s why…(go into each one of your points to expand as much as you need to provide backup with evidence while keeping it succinct).

2. Eliminate distractors.

Rambling and awkward fillers such as “um” and “uh” give the perception of searching for answers and weaken your message and credibility.

Record yourself with your phone a few times to identify what fillers you might inadvertently be using.

    • Do you repeat yourself in an attempt to convince?
    • Do you ramble with tactics instead of remaining linked to the broader context?

Redirect as you relax in the knowledge that others will ask questions if they need clarification.

3. Link your ideas to broader goals.

Whenever you can, refer to the broader strategic goal that your idea supports. Demonstrating that you keep the organization’s goals and the broader picture in mind when considering problems reminds others that you are a leader.

4. Play the devil’s advocate.

Show that you consider multiple perspectives as you make decisions and move through creative problem-solving. This can be done by referring to other possible solutions you considered before arriving at your conclusion. Share with the listeners how these other approaches worked (or didn’t!), and why you feel your solution is best. Others will see that you followed a carefully researched and open-minded approach to the problem, and this builds trust.

Jumpstart Company Performance with Trust

5. Back up your idea with the business impact.

Identify the ways in which your idea or solution will have a positive impact on the business. If you can show this, and line it up with larger goals (more revenue, shorter product cycles, etc.), you will gain credibility quickly.

Translating your strategic thoughts into words will take practice, but the outcome is well worthwhile. If you want others to recognize your strategic abilities, show them the depth and breadth of your thinking as you speak.

HOW MUCH

DO OTHERS REALLY TRUST YOU?

​Learn the two vital parts to trust and how they can help you become a more highly effective leader.

GET THE INFOGRAPHIC

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Making Your Leadership Vision Work

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Making Your Leadership Vision Work
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Your leadership vision must be bold, compelling, and achievable. These are the things that will inspire, motivate, and drive your team for excellent performance.

To lead your organization into the future, this is crucial.

Most of you reading this can affirm that your own leadership vision meets these criteria.

You articulate the vision relentlessly.

You’ve defined the organizational goals to support it.

Your team is fired up and ready to go.

What are you missing?

You are missing the one thing that you and your team need in order to achieve the business imperative.

The team culture shift.

The team culture shift answers the questions:

  • Together, who do we need to become in order to make this work?
  • What specific changes in behaviors and interactions, in ways we relate to one another, do we need to meet the business imperative?
  • What behavioral changes do I as leader need to make in order to support this team culture shift?

Begin your team evaluation by examining and discussing the following:

  1. Do we deliver acceptable outputs to the client (internal or external)?

If not, why not? Examples of behaviors that can interfere are:

    • Team complacency. This is especially prevalent where team members have been with the organization for several years. Signs this may be happening are a slowness to adopt new systems, or a poor ability to handle transitions.
    • Team victim mentality. As a group, your team may be suffering from a victim mentality, unable to look past assumptions and biases to see how things might work differently.
    • Myopic team lens. Is the team willing to step outside its comfort zone to reach new stretch goals, or does their messaging reflect an inability or reticence to grasp the “why” of the business imperative?

  1. Do we work together in a way that creates and fosters a cohesive team for the long term?

If not, why not? Examples of behaviors that can interfere are:

    • Power coalitions within your larger team that defer mostly to each other. These coalitions tend to stick to their small group without wider acknowledgement or connection with other team members.
    • Competing factions within your team. These are team members who are passionate about their own viewpoints, but slow to collaborate to reach agreement.
    • Conversations in all the wrong places. This dynamic can occur when one team member has a personal agenda that vies with the larger leadership agenda. It can also take place when members simply don’t feel like they have a voice in the collective or they fear not being valued in the group.

  1. Does each of us as an individual team member contribute to have positive impact on the other team members?

If not, why not? Examples of behaviors that can interfere are:

    • Collaboration sabotage. Do you have someone on the team who continues to silo in order to showcase his or her team’s own accomplishments above the rest? Do you have someone who throws people under the proverbial bus?
    • Lip service. Is there someone who provides a lot of affirmation, but is revealed later to have a different agenda? Or do you have a team member who promises a lot, but is poor in delivery?
    • Lack of organizational awareness. Do you have team members who demonstrate that they are unable to keep the larger picture in mind as they work? Signs of this may be an inability to work through inter-team conflict or to understand and consider the business impact their team results have on the other teams within the organization.

As you begin to identify together the team behaviors and interactions that need to shift in order to work more effectively, remember to evaluate what you as leader need to shift in order to support this change. Consider areas such as how you make decisions, delegate, empower, and hold others accountable.

And since we all have blind spots, ask your team for their feedback on this. What do you need to shift or change in order to support them best?

To your leadership vision success!

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Three Behaviors of Best-Performing Teams

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Three Behaviors of Best-Performing Teams
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Many teams can produce great results for a while, but fewer can sustain such high performance over a longer period of time.

Why?

It’s in the way they operate as a group.

Behaviors are key.

Here are three nuancing behaviors you will always find in groups that outperform the rest.

  1. Clarify

Brainstorming should be a creative process, but it often shuts down quickly due to snap judgments such as, “We’ve tried that before, and it didn’t work,” or “The budget won’t allow it.”

Become an observer, and see if you can head off this thwarting behavior by doing the following:

  • Listen carefully. As ideas are put on the table, ask the team member to say more. Use clarifying phrases such as, “talk more about that” to allow them to expound on the concept and how it might play out.
  • Take the idea further by working with them to identify the positive business impact this might have beyond what seems immediately apparent.
  • Only after you have explored the positive business impact should you move on to identify potential roadblocks. Many great opportunities have otherwise been lost.

  1. Bridge

The improv philosophy of “Yes, and…” is a great way to position common ground and build on an idea when you may differ in opinion. Questions such as, “Can we do this?” can be met with a “Yes, and” response, outlining what would need to happen in order for the idea to work.

  1. Connect

High-performing teams connect personally. Instead of limiting your interactions to work topics, remember to delve more deeply into conversation to learn about their lives, what makes them tick, their passions, and more. When people are seen and known as human beings and not just as work machines, trust and camaraderie are built, and biases diminish. Performance thrives on this!

These are just three of a few nuancing behaviors that make the difference between good and great.

What others have you experienced that help your team perform at their best? If you aren’t sure, it’s time to assess.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.