Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

Patti Cotton

Why it is Hard to Leave When You Have Been in Charge

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Why it is Hard to Leave When You Have Been in Charge

My grandfather was a multi-millionaire in the 1920s. With nothing but a third-grade education and a keen mind for coming up with new solutions to problems, he was the consummate inventor, investor, and innovator.

He also lost quite a bit, all part of the entrepreneurial journey. But he always landed on his feet, and eventually, he and my grandmother built a convalescent home empire that saw them and countless families through the Great Recession and beyond.

Years later, my father decided to take a break from his university teaching to carry the entrepreneurial legacy forward. He developed his own successful healthcare system. But a strange thing happened. My grandfather resurfaced, and seemed to appear at the most inopportune times – during meetings, negotiations, and other sensitive situations.

One day, my father had to ask him to leave the premises.

Why did it come to this?

It seemed that even though my grandfather had left his business ventures behind, he hadn’t learned how to let go.

This dynamic is more common than you may realize. Whether you are leading a family-owned business, or hold a corporate CEO position, it’s just hard to let go.

What makes it so difficult for the chief in charge who is preparing to move on?

A fly on the wall might hear this:

1. I built the baby. Who will take care of this business after I’m gone so that it continues to thrive?

I have put my blood, sweat and tears into this and it works well. It’s a matter of pride – I’m leaving a legacy, here.

2. Will the business take care of me?

Have I put the leadership and strategies in place so that the business will continue to provide me with a return? I have invested in it, and want to make sure it supports me well in my next chapter.

3. Who am I without my CEO hat?

What will I do with myself after I step away? What will the next chapter look like for me? I’m not sure who I am without this position, and I want to look ahead with excitement and anticipation to my new role, whatever that may be.

Are you in a decision-making position and thinking about releasing the reins? What holds you back?

Patti Cotton helps executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

3 Things a Leader in a New Role Needs to Know

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3 Things a Leader in a New Role Needs to Know

Congratulations!  You did it. You got the position, the title, and the salary telling you that you have arrived.

They gave you the team and the commission to change the world.

But did they tell you that you aren’t really in control?

That your hard-earned expertise is now for naught?

What do you do, now?

If you’ve done your research, you will have put together a game plan, and you are working on your “first 100 days” in office. You will be gathering and triaging information, building your new tribe, identifying short-term wins and long-term wins – the whole enchilada.

And this is absolutely necessary for so many reasons – you’ll be closely watched by those who chose you for the job. The two times they look most closely are during the first three months of your tenure, and at the end of your first year. A lot of judgment is going on. For you, these days are also critical – you need to quickly build trust with your team, identify and forge your operational network, and above all, avoid political landmines…

But – here are three things that you may not hear, and that you need to know right now:

1. What got you here won’t get you there.

You have been recognized for your success to this point. You were in charge of a certain area of responsibility, and that landscape has now changed. By extension, it’s important to know that your present knowledge base may no longer be useful – that the reasons for which they promoted you are not necessarily the reasons that will help you succeed, now. Your operational network – the network that helps you to get the job done – will now change. And even if you are highly skilled at spinning multiple plates, you will now need to develop the ability to manage the new, different pieces that this promotion brings. In short: ask yourself what the new pieces are – which are “need to manage,” “nice to manage,” and simply “nice to know.”  Keep it streamlined.

2. You aren’t in control – but you are in charge and therefore accountable.

It’s a changing world, and therefore a lot of external factors exist that you cannot control, both in the marketplace, and inside your company. Strategies and tactics will come and go as the company attempts to keep up and remain viable. To be successful so that you do your part to help the enterprise remain profitable and sustainable, you will need to re-examine your own beliefs and how you manage your environment. Why? Because at the end of the day, you can blame the externals for failure, but you are still accountable for what you did to help your area succeed. In short: don’t make any assumptions. Ask questions, stay abreast of trends and what is required to meet this – and ask yourself how this affects you, your team, and the company.

3. Your best game is only as accountable as your weakest link.

Get to know your team, its strategies and ways of operating, and be candid in asking them what has worked in the past, what has not worked, what could be better. Ask them where the team as a whole hesitates – what team behavior holds them back from their best envisioned performance. Ask them what tools and support they need to do their best work. Many team action plans are stuffed away in drawers, unused, because of counterproductive behaviors that keep these from reaching set goals. And many of these counterproductive behaviors are due to not having the resources and tools to do their best job. In short: find out what they feel they need to excel.

Here’s to a successful next professional chapter for you!

Patti Cotton helps executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

When Your Team Member is Stuck in Story:

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When Your Team Member is Stuck in Story

Helping Them Take Back Control

Do you love stories? So do I!

Stories are entertaining – and they help us make meaning of our world.

Some of my favorite stories are of the Sherlock Holmes type, where solving the mystery to bring solution is key.

But some tales are frustrating, like the kind in which your employee seems stuck. This kind affects everyone on the team. It slows down productivity… energy… motivation…

Is one of your team members holding you hostage to the same script? If you hear any of the following lines on a regular basis, you need to help your team member turn the page:

  • I can’t because…

  • It will have to wait until…

  • That would be nice, but…

  • I would have/could have, but…

I am often called to coach teams, and once coached a small, but key team to help them perform at a higher level. The talents were there. The desire was there. But the numbers were down. And the energy was low.

At one point early on, I asked them to walk me through a current project to see how they would describe the process of working together. And we hit the jackpot.

Terry, Laurie, and Martin began laying out the pieces of the project, and shared who was responsible for which part of the whole. Then I asked them to draft a timeline to show me how this would happen, and at what pace. At a certain point in the process, Laurie revealed that she was “stuck in story” – that she was unable to work around a chronic issue to move at a more acceptable pace.

“I can’t meet that deadline, Terry, and you know it. It will have to wait until I complete my part of the Blue project we are currently working on.”

“Oh– you still have that piece to complete?” asked Terry.

Martin joined in. “Can’t we figure out a different way to pace these things?”

“It’s not that – it’s just all the interruptions I get during the day. I can’t just tell people to go away.”

At this point, I interrupted.

“Are you saying that the interruptions are what is holding you back from being able to complete your work in a more timely fashion?”

“Yes,” Laurie answered. “The guys here know that my office is the first on the hallway, and that I’m seen as point person for the team. That means people coming in and out all day.”

I turned to Terry and Martin. “How does this slow down what you are able to complete?”

“Are you kidding?” said Martin. “We are constantly telling leadership they will have to wait because of this.”

“Okay,” I answered. “So what’s the solution to this?”

“You mean to the interruptions?” asked Laurie. “There is none. Like I said, my office is first, we are asked to be responsive, and if it isn’t office visits, it’s e-mails and phone calls. All day. I could be much faster – but I can’t because of this.”

Laurie was stuck in her story – the story that she had to operate in a certain way because of her role, even though it held her work back – which held back the entire team.

It was time to rewrite her story.

“Laurie, let’s brainstorm,” I said. “We need Terry and Martin’s help, here. If you weren’t there in that office to field interruptions, what would happen?”

“Good grief, if they couldn’t find me, they’d barrage me with e-mails and phone calls on my cell.”

“Your cell?”  I asked. “Colleagues here call you on your cell for work questions?”

“Well, yes – if they can’t find me. They know they can chase me down on my cell. And then, the e-mails keep coming.”

“Laurie, what would happen if you turned off your cell and scheduled time twice daily to look at your e-mails?”

Terry sat up. “I said that months ago!” he said. “Why does the entire work floor have to hold you hostage, Laurie?”

“Hostage?” responded Laurie. “That sounds like I’m a prisoner.”

“Well,” I said, “The way you describe things, you have pretty much said so. I mean, you’ve said you cannot control it. But…”

“But, what?” she said.

“But – you can control yourself and what you choose to do with the barrage coming your way.”

“But if I do that, I’ll have piles of e-mails and calls to return – and that will put me farther behind.”

“Laurie, it sounds like people are depending on you to drop everything and help at any time,” I countered.

“Hey,” said Martin, “Patti’s right. Actually, you have a bunch of people who look to you to help them out all the time when it’s actually not your job or place.”

“Well…” Laurie got still. “I guess it’s true.”

“What are you getting out of fielding these cries for help all day long, Laurie?” I asked.

She got quiet.

“Laurie,” I moved forward gently, “Are you getting some satisfaction out of helping?”

“Well, yes,” she said. “And if I am honest with myself, I guess that most of it isn’t even related to our department. I know I said I was point person – but it’s much more than that. In truth, maybe it’s just a way to feel valuable.”

“Valuable?” asked Terry. “You think you aren’t valuable to our team?”

And then, our real work began. And although we had to do some deep work, it paid off.

I’m happy to report that a few months later, the team members were working at top performance, with all members understanding and appreciating each other’s value.

Don’t you love a story with happy ending? I certainly do!

Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Pushing Beyond Success

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I worked with an impressive executive last year, whom I will call Jerry (not his real name). Jerry managed an area of responsibility generating more than $20 million in annual revenues, and top leadership was considering him to succeed the COO in future.

He reached out to me for help because he really wanted that position. “I’m ready for a new challenge,” he said. “I get bored easily when success becomes routine. Taking on the role of COO has been in my sights for some time.”

If the reader is thinking, “Boy, what an ego,” there may be an element of that. However, most people who desire to lead love to be challenged, and routine anything can quickly demotivate.

So Jerry had set his sights on this promotion.

There was just one problem. Jerry wasn’t ready.

Jerry was leaving money on the table within his current responsibility, and he’d known it for a while. The company should have noticed, too, as they considered him in future planning.

You see, Jerry’s current team had worked with him for almost 10 years, and they knew how to work with him to get things done. And they’d always hit their mark of $20 million. Always. But the needle hadn’t moved for 10 years.

How could Jerry be effective in a larger role if he didn’t know how to maximize the current potential in front of him?

When Jerry and I sat down, he shared his revenue projections and showed the potential in additional market share. He shared his team’s roles and responsibilities and current strategies. He said they were all super people who knew how to do their jobs very well. But he didn’t know how to break through the $20 million mark.

How could he get his team to perform at even higher levels?

So I asked if I could sit in on one of his team meetings as they examined the gap and the potential.

After the meeting, Jerry and I sat down. “I believe I’ve identified a key problem,” I said. “And it’s not your team. Jerry. Before we look at your team’s performance, we need to talk about widening your personal perspective. We need to talk about some deep listening.”

“Deep listening?” he reared back. “Isn’t that for coaches and therapists?”

“Jerry, you have helped this company realize great success through what you have done with this team. But the money you are leaving on the table is not the team’s fault. Here’s what I heard in your meeting:  three ideas from your team members that you discounted immediately. You told them why it wouldn’t work. I’m frankly surprised they are still coming up with ideas for you when you ask!  And here’s what I didn’t hear – ‘I’m listening – tell me more. How might that work?’ You simply aren’t allowing your team to participate.”

Jerry paused. “You mean I’m responsible for keeping this team stuck? I’m personally responsible for not generating more revenue?”

I nodded. “The strategies you have taken have gotten you this far – but they aren’t taking you any farther. You have an amazing team!  But you aren’t allowing them to contribute. You aren’t tapping into your team’s perspectives and considering their ideas – new ideas that may likely take you far. You have a choice, here – either continue to do the same thing and get the same results, or allow your team in.”

Of course, this first conversation was just a door-opener. Working with Jerry to widen his perspective, to help him peel off of black-and-white thinking, took longer, because old habits die hard. And we did look at team performance together, as we worked on developing his ability to listen and consider new points of view.

But in the end, it did pay off. After working with Jerry and his team for just 6 months, they began to capture additional market share and increase their revenues.

“It’s funny,” Jerry said later on. “I have a much greater rapport with my team. We enjoy each other more. Work has become fun instead of tense, even though we are performing at higher levels. I guess allowing others in to contribute really pays off.”

I love that deep listening.

Patti Cotton helps women executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and enterprises. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, women’s leadership development, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Five Best Leadership Lessons I Learned in Kindergarten

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Five Best Leadership Lessons I Learned in Kindergarten

I addressed a group of young leaders last week, and they asked me to share my leadership experience and lessons learned.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about lessons, it’s that the biggest lessons are those that are the most simple. So simple, in fact, that they should already be acquired in kindergarten.

See what you think.

1. Be yourself.

I am left-handed, and as a small schoolgirl, my teacher tried to make me shift to the right hand for writing. You can guess the result, and it was indeed disastrous. My homework took longer, letters were difficult to pen, and the stress and frustration were overwhelming. Fortunately, my mother caught wind of this “experiment,” and told the teacher to cease and desist. When I took the pen in my left hand, again, things flowed easily, and I didn’t struggle with process. The outcomes were so different – and much better.

Are you leading from your top strengths, or are you trying to copy the way your mentor leads? If the latter, you will find, sooner or later, that the toll it takes on your mental energy and ability to execute are significant.

2. Harness distractors to focus on what counts.

There was a boy named Jerry who wiggled all day long in school. The problem was, I sat next to him. And almost every time the teacher called on me, Jerry would whisper my name loudly, get me to look, and make a face. Or he’d pull on my hair when I was turned away. It became so upsetting that I burst into tears one day and ran to the teacher. Of course, when the teacher investigated, she promptly dealt with Jerry and as a result, my new seatmate was a very quiet and studious boy named Mike.

My ability to concentrate and stay on task suddenly blossomed, and I wish I had asked the teacher for help much earlier. When you are the boss, you have no one to run to but yourself. But the fact is, you can harness and eliminate most distractors simply by dealing with them differently.

Do you need closed-door time? Delegation of repetitive, but non-essential tasks that keep coming your way? Something else? Take charge. Make the change that will keep distractors from ruling your life.

3. If you are going to do it, do it well.

Marcia couldn’t wait for recess, so she would scribble quick answers on her papers, or use big and sloppy strokes when she colored. She wanted to be done so she could go outside. I’m not sure why she didn’t catch on, but teacher always made her do her papers over.

“Take some pride in your work,” she would say to Marcia, and Marcia would sigh, grab another paper, and start over.

Of course, this took longer than it would, had she done the right thing the first time and used care in completing her first iteration. And we all had to wait until Marcia completed her second go-around before we were released for recess.

It’s like that in the workplace. There are parts of our workload that are not as exciting as others. Yet, if we take pride in doing a good job of these mundane items, it will not only make the process more enjoyable, but it will also make it much more pleasant for those around you. People are watching, just like we watched Marcia.

4. Use your influence to make positive change.

It was always a tense time when we lined up to be picked for softball. You could count on it – the best hitters and runners were selected first, and by the time it got down to the last couple of kids, there was an awkward air around who would be picked next, and who would be left last as the booby prize. It was painful.

One day, one of the most popular kids did an amazing thing – Andrea picked the guy who was always last, and she picked him, first. The other kids groaned. And then they got quiet…because Andrea was glaring at them. She was the queen of influence in grade school.

Something changed that day. It got a little kinder around recess. The big kids didn’t make fun of the little ones so much, anymore. There was a little more food sharing at lunchtime. The culture had shifted.

You can shift culture simply by using your influence. Where will you start?

5. If you want people to follow, you’d better know where you are going.

“Come on!” some of the kids used to shout as we ran outside to play.

We’d tear off running, following whoever took the lead. Pretty soon, the kid in front started circling back, or zigzagging, because he or she had frankly just started out running just for the joy of it, but with no definite destination in mind. When the circling started, the other kids felt the waffling in direction, and started slowing down. They started colliding into each other, and then stopping to peel off in little groups, or walking over to play hopscotch.

“Come on!” the kid who had led the pack would cry, trying to get everyone to start running, again.

But no one was interested. If they weren’t going somewhere together in the same direction with a destination in mind, they weren’t going to participate.

I think you get the picture. Leading to feel like the head of the pack is fruitless and you will lose your followers quickly. Have an idea of where you are going and know how to share it so that everyone comes along.

What’s your best leadership lesson?