The Courage to be Authentic

“Today you are You, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

What does it take to be authentic?  And why seek this genuine state of being?  To be yourself means to align your emotions and thoughts with your actions.  And the reward for this is tremendous.  It signifies that you have the courage to celebrate your uniqueness with integrity. It gives you the freedom to express your spontaneity, your creativity, and to follow your dreams.   No masks, no pretenses, no compromises.  Yes, embracing your authenticity means being able to fully receive and celebrate the gifts God has given you.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

If being yourself is such a wonderful thing, why do people shy from it?   What makes us feel as though we need to pretend to be something we are not, or to compromise our thoughts or actions?  The fact is that it takes courage to be vulnerable and honest.  It also requires that we accept others for their unique qualities and gifts.  You see, people want to be loved and accepted.  We were created to be a part of community.   We seek it and we cling to it.  We receive rewards from it – a feeling of belonging, and of being valued.  Yet, if this belonging is predicated on false pretenses to try and please others, then the toll over time is the erosion of self.  We begin to feel misaligned or detached.  We feel fake.  Stressed.  And in keeping this up, we lose sense of who we are and how wonderfully God has made us.

“You are you.  Now isn’t that pleasant?”

If you have not done so lately, it might be energizing for you to do a “spot check” on your authenticity.  A couple of steps are needed to do this, and the first one is to assess your personal values.  For this exercise, you will need a computer, and a pen or pencil.   First, do an Internet search for “list of personal values.”  Select one that looks attractive to you, and print it for use.  Next, circle 20 of the values that you personally hold dearest.  If one of your key values is missing from the original list, just add it to the page and circle it.  Now that you have circled 20, cross off half of these for a remaining “top ten.”  And now comes the hard part:  whittle this list down to your top five values.  It may be harder than you think.  But this is where the introspection and the learning come in.

Now that you have completed the first step of your spot check, take the next step by enjoying a few moments of contemplation.  Ask yourself if there are any areas of your life that are currently not reflective of these values.  Review your actions and behaviors for the past couple of days and weigh them against your list.  What stands out for you?  Tuck that list in your pocket and refer to it two to three times daily over the following week.  What comes through for you, now?  Are your actions consistent with your values?  If there is a gap, what do you feel is preventing you from alignment?  What will you do with this information?

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It’s not.”

Be the kind of company you seek.  Embrace your authenticity by creating a community that values God’s children as unique individuals.  As you read this article, there are people all around you who are also feeling a vulnerability to being real.  They would love to throw away their masks and be accepted and appreciated for their true selves.  How do we make this happen?  It begins with me.  It begins with you.  We set the example, first, through tendering the respect for diversity and uniqueness that we desire for ourselves.

The next time you are interacting with a friend or colleague, look for a moment where you can ask him more about himself.  As he responds, share with him a genuine desire to learn, with a simple, “Tell me more…”   And be prepared to listen with a caring heart.  Your sincerity will speak volumes about your acceptance and respect for him as an individual.  And it will plant the seed with him to do the same with you.

Note:  My gratitude to Dr. Theodor Seuss Geisel, who decided to be himself and use his gifts to the fullest, inspiring millions.