Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

talent

When Your Executive Can’t Get to the Point

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When Your Executive Can’t Get to the Point
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Have you ever had an executive who just can’t seem to get to the point?  It can be an agonizing monologue, and you, as listener, can easily get lost in their narrative.

How do you help them shorten up the time they spend in detail so that you can determine what they need from you?

Tom asked me to work with him on his tolerance levels with key executives. “Specifically, I’m at my wit’s end with John, one of my key executives.”

“I can’t get past his droning narrative,” Tom continued. “It’s as if every conversation he has begins with when he was born and where. Then I start bristling and cut him off. Lately, I’ve noticed him shutting down, and I’m sure it’s because of my reaction. What do I do?”

“John may be a functional communicator*,” I said. “Does he love details and timelines?”

“I don’t know what a functional communicator is, but he thrives on timelines and charts,” Tom answered. “Burying himself in step-by-step guides and combing through details are a mental trip to Disneyland for John. It drives me crazy!”

“And how do you like to get things done, Tom?” I asked.

“Listen, I’m a big-picture thinker,” he responded. “Don’t bog me down with details. Give me a quick overview, and let me ask a few careful questions. That’s how we can move forward quickly.”

“Then I would call you an intuitive communicator, Tom,” I said. “Too many details can seem distracting to you.”

“You aren’t kidding,” Tom said. “My skin starts crawling when we drop below 40,000 feet.”

“Well, Tom, since you say John is great talent, and you want to negotiate a better way of communicating with him, here are four steps you can take with him.”

  1. Let him know you value his contributions.

Tell John he may have noticed you becoming frustrated upon occasion and that you apologize for this. Share that you recognize this is due to your differing communication styles and is no reflection on how you regard his talent or positive impact on the team.

  1. Share your observation about your communication styles.

Note he appears to be a functional communicator. He likes to outline things in a step-by-step way so that nothing is missed and provide details so that someone has full information by the time he is finished presenting. Ask him if this is correct. After listening and confirming, be sure you let him know you appreciate his desire to be thorough. Then, share your communication style with him.  As an intuitive communicator, you appreciate the aerial view. You like the big picture, and details can be distracting to you. You prefer for him to stick to the main topic and allow you to ask follow-up questions. You will then ask him to share other details he feels are relevant after you ask your questions.

  1. Pick a topic and role play.

Experiment with how it would be to communicate in each other’s preferred styles. In other words, after selecting the topic, share first with him, outlining all details and info John might appreciate. Debrief after having done so to see if this is helpful to him. Then, have John try your style with the same topic, identifying the main point in a sentence and its present or potential impact. He will then sit back for questions. Again, debrief.

  1. Practice.

As you meet together, continue to try each other’s styles as you communicate. Ask each other how it is working, and what could go better. Make sure that you don’t treat this as a test, but as experimenting to find the right way for both.

The next time you become frustrated with a colleague’s communication style, ask yourself what would work for you, instead. Then have the conversation with that person and ask them about their experience with you. Do they also need something different, in order to communicate more smoothly? Suggest experimenting such as is outlined above, and see if this doesn’t improve your working relationship and your ability to get things done together.

*Mark Murphy’s 4 Communication Styles, Leadership IQ

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Why Your Talented Team Member Won’t Speak Up

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Why Your Talented Team Member Won’t Speak Up
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Do you have a team member who has great talent but won’t speak up to contribute? There are several possible reasons why.

And the bottom line is if your team member won’t speak up, you are losing revenue and momentum – simply because he isn’t adding the value he could.

What can you do?

Let’s take a look at five different executive teams in the following scenarios. Each had at least one team member who wasn’t speaking up. Do any of these cases sound familiar to your own team’s situation?

Jim and the So-Called Expert

Jim has been CMO for a year, now. He has an impressive track record and an uncanny sense of what to anticipate in order to serve customers. In his one-on-one meetings, Jim shows great strength in strategizing. But when he gets into the executive team meetings, he simply shuts down. His CEO is frustrated. If Jim keeps quiet, the team isn’t able to benefit from his expertise and perspective.

“Sandra’s the self-proclaimed expert on our team,” Jim explains wryly. “As CFO, she has decided she’s the person with the organizational ‘eye.’ Whether she knows what she’s talking about or not, she will weigh in and do it first. Others may jump in and play – but I’m just not willing to do that. If someone wants my opinion, I guess they will ask me.”

Samantha’s Intolerance for Poor Arguments

The executive team wonders if Samantha is really happy at the company. She starts to speak up but shuts down quickly when the team wants to move toward a solution. Samantha is becoming disengaged and it shows. Her CEO is worried. “I need a CIO who can wrap her arms around problems and run with the solutions,” she says.

Samantha has another view on this. She says, “Quite simply, the executive team is lazy. They always settle for less – the path of least resistance. Every time I suggest doing some outside research to see what others are doing, they snuff me out. I’m tired of contributing to inferior arguments for poor solutions. Why doesn’t our CEO take Samantha aside and give her some coaching on this?”

Bill and His Need for a Business Case

Bill speaks up at times and shuts down at others. His team members wonder which Bill is going to show up today – the one who contributes, or the one who seems to mentally check out at odd points in meeting discussions. Bill’s CEO wonders why Bill dips in and out of discussions.

Bill himself says he gets quiet when he can’t figure out how certain decisions impact the larger picture. “Sometimes the team seems to get into discussing pet projects that don’t really support the business imperative we set for this year,” he says. “I have a hard time hanging in there when it doesn’t make sense to the larger picture. Why doesn’t our CEO stop it and get us back on track? He lets this stuff go on forever and our meetings become pretty ineffective.”

Dani the Divergent Thinker

“Dani’s a bright leader whose best days are yet to come,” said her CEO. “But I can’t figure out why the rest of the team gets frustrated with her when discussing certain topics. I’ve been waiting for her to figure it out. Or for them to all work it out. But it’s not happening.”

Dani has additional light to shed on this. “My team is very structured in its conversations,” she begins. “The members seem to be ‘convergent thinkers,’ and they follow a very tight process to arrive at solutions. Don’t get me wrong – we need to come to some quick decisions in this current environment. But I’m a ‘divergent thinker’ and need to free-flow a bit to come up with best solutions. I’m pretty frustrated that when we are looking to innovate, my contributions seem to be perceived as getting us off course. I simply shut down when that happens. I wish my CEO would check in with me – surely he sees that I’m not participating?”

Jan Wants Better Decision-Making

Jan is perceived as “dead weight” on the executive team. Her credentials and expertise are impressive, but she doesn’t contribute her wealth of knowledge to the team’s benefit. She used to speak up, but took what seemed to be an argumentative tone which deterred others from entering into conversation. She now defers to others on the team without really contributing. Her CEO wonders if she simply doesn’t know how to get along with others.

“I have become tired of being perceived as contrary,” Jan shares. “In my last position with another company, we prized bantering back and forth with different perspectives on things. No one took it as arguing; rather, they enjoyed turning issues on their proverbial heads to examine all sides. The result was a rich outcome. We enjoyed it. Here, it appears I’m just arguing. I wish someone would be real enough to talk with me about it – and to entertain another possibility besides seeing me as antagonistic. Perhaps it’s my tone. I wish my CEO would give me feedback, but she acts like she doesn’t see it.”

And what about the talented, but quiet team member on your own team? What’s his or her side of the story? If you are in charge, it’s time for you to work on how your team can work together to resolve this. The loss is too great to let this go – and the ROI once you bring this to resolution too great to leave on the table.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

How to Move Beyond Growing and Surviving

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How to Move Beyond Growing and Surviving

Your Succession Plan

Are you a business leader struggling to grow and survive? It’s time to get a better game on.

Whether you are a business owner, executive, or other professional, you need a succession plan, now.

What is a succession plan?

Most think it’s simply grooming new leaders who can eventually take over a business or corporation. But it’s much more than that. Succession planning should include getting your “house” in order, making sure that systems, processes, and team are identified and developed to effectively meet the future.

Because of this, succession planning is not something you do when you are getting ready to retire.

In fact, succession planning is something that should be an ongoing process now, if you are a business leader who identifies with any of the following:

  • You want to move the business and your future from surviving to thriving
  • You are proud of your leadership accomplishments and you see this as a legacy that others should enjoy
  • You have a vested interest in seeing that your efforts pay off exponentially, not only now, but in the future (financial gains, heirs, etc.)

Most corporate and business leaders spend their time caught up in the daily worries of running the business or enterprise now. They are in a survival mode, or busy trying to scale the company’s efforts to generate more revenue.

When this happens, it’s tough to get ahead – much less lay the firm foundation for something that will pay off now and in future.

These business leaders may see succession planning as an HR function and not a leadership imperative – to their peril. Planning for the future and laying out the strategies to reach it effectively require vision and global thinking. It requires that you set a clear direction with system-wide goals to carry the business into the future.

This means that if you are in charge of an enterprise or your own business, you need to lead the charge.

What happens if you don’t take action, now? What are potential consequences, if you don’t see succession planning as an ongoing process to ensure a healthy and vibrant business now and in future?

Here are a few scenarios where a lack of succession planning has resulted in rapid business decline and demise:

  • A leader exits without warning, due to illness or another unexpected event.
  • A company replaces the exiting executive with someone who is not yet equipped to take over. This happens frequently in family-owned businesses and in cases where the company has hired from the outside without ensuring that the new leader is culturally compatible.
  • The business neglects high-potential talent inside its doors and the talent goes elsewhere.

What does your succession plan look like? Do you have a system in place to identify and develop high-potential talent, business processes, and systems that will effectively meet the future?

Patti Cotton helps executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and the enterprise. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, succession planning, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, leadership development, succession planning, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.