• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

  • About
  • Consulting
  • Training
  • Speaking
  • Blog
  • Contact

resilience

The Power of Self-Accountability: True Leadership Begins with the Person in the Mirror

September 11, 2024 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

The Power of Self-Accountability: True Leadership Begins with the Person in the Mirror
Image Credit: Depositphotos

When it comes to leadership, there’s a lot of talk about accountability. You’ve probably heard it in meetings, seen it in performance reviews, and maybe even mentioned it yourself when discussing team dynamics. But let’s be honest—most of us view accountability through a very narrow lens. We think about how accountable others are to us. We analyze our team members, colleagues, and even our bosses, scrutinizing their actions and decisions.

Here’s the reality: true leadership doesn’t start with holding others accountable. It begins with holding yourself accountable.

The Mirror Test

Imagine this scenario: You’re a leader facing a major challenge. The project deadline is looming, and your team is behind schedule. The temptation is strong to point fingers, to find out who dropped the ball. But before you do that, stop and take a good, long look in the mirror. What do you see? Are you holding yourself accountable for the role you’ve played in this situation? Have you set clear expectations, provided the necessary support, and modeled the behavior you expect from your team?

Self-accountability is the foundation of effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and acknowledging your mistakes. It’s not easy, and it requires a level of humility that many leaders find uncomfortable. But it’s absolutely essential if you want to lead with integrity and earn the trust of your team.

The Perils of Passing the Buck

In today’s fast-paced business environment, it’s easy to get caught up in the blame game. When things go wrong, our first instinct is often to find someone to blame. Maybe it’s a team member who didn’t deliver on time, or a colleague who didn’t communicate effectively. But passing the buck is a dangerous habit that can quickly erode trust and undermine your leadership.

When leaders blame others, they create a culture of fear and defensiveness. Team members become more concerned with covering their tracks than with collaborating and innovating. Worse, the leader’s credibility takes a hit. People start to see you as someone who shirks responsibility and avoids difficult conversations. Over time, this erodes the trust that’s critical for any high-performing team.

But what if, instead of blaming others, you took ownership of the situation? What if you acknowledged your role in the problem and committed to finding a solution? This kind of self-accountability is not only refreshing—it’s empowering. It sets the tone for your team and shows them that you’re willing to do the hard work of leadership.

The Intersection of Honesty and Humility

Self-accountability is grounded in two key principles: honesty and humility. Honesty means being truthful with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures. It’s about recognizing when you’ve made a mistake and being willing to admit it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Humility, on the other hand, is about understanding that leadership isn’t about you—it’s about the people you serve. It’s about putting the needs of your team ahead of your own ego and being open to feedback, even when it’s critical. Together, honesty and humility create a powerful foundation for self-accountability.

But let’s be clear—this isn’t about self-flagellation or dwelling on your mistakes. It’s about learning from them and using those lessons to become a better leader. It’s about setting a standard of excellence for yourself and your team and holding yourself to that standard every day.

The Real Problem: Fear of Failure

One of the biggest obstacles to self-accountability is the fear of failure. As leaders, we’re often so focused on achieving success that we become paralyzed by the thought of making a mistake. We worry that admitting our failures will make us look weak or incompetent. But the truth is, everyone makes mistakes. What sets great leaders apart is their willingness to own those mistakes and learn from them.

When you hold yourself accountable, you’re not just admitting that you’re human—you’re also demonstrating resilience and a commitment to growth. You’re showing your team that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you’re willing to take responsibility and work to improve. This kind of leadership fosters a culture of trust and continuous improvement, where team members feel safe to take risks and innovate.

Solutions: Cultivating Self-Accountability

So, how can you cultivate self-accountability in your leadership? It starts with a few simple practices that you can incorporate into your daily routine.

  1. Regular Self-Reflection: Take time each day to reflect on your actions and decisions. Ask yourself, “What did I do well today? Where could I have done better? Did I hold myself to the standard I expect from others?” This simple practice can help you stay aligned with your values and identify areas for growth.
  2. Seek Feedback: Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback from your team, colleagues, and mentors. Listen to what they have to say, and be open to their perspectives. Remember, feedback is a gift—it’s an opportunity to learn and improve.
  3. Own Your Mistakes: When you make a mistake, admit it. Don’t make excuses or blame others. Instead, focus on what you can do to fix the problem and prevent it from happening again. This kind of ownership is a powerful way to build trust and credibility with your team.
  4. Model Accountability: Lead by example. Show your team what self-accountability looks like in action. When they see you taking responsibility for your actions, they’ll be more likely to do the same.

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, self-accountability is the key to effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and striving to improve every day. It’s not always easy, but it’s the foundation on which trust, respect, and long-term success are built. So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge, don’t look to place the blame—look in the mirror. That’s where true leadership begins.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Redefining Success: Aligning Your Leadership Role with Personal Fulfillment

August 7, 2024 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Redefining Success: Aligning Your Leadership Role with Personal Fulfillment
Image Credit: Depositphotos

It’s been a rough four years. No matter where you stand with the events of today’s world, we have experienced unprecedented challenges.

And it has taken its toll.

More business leaders are leaving their roles than at any other time in our lifetime (McKinsey, Forbes). And that echoes the sentiment I am hearing from so many of you. It’s no longer enough for you to weather the proverbial storms in order to reach organizational goals. It’s not enough to persevere in hiring and retaining the right talent to do the job. It’s not enough to feel as though you averted another crisis, completed another long day, and made it through yet another challenge.

On a scale of 1-5, how fulfilled are you as a leader? In your work? Your life?

Perhaps it is time to redefine success.

In the past, success has often been defined by career achievements. But over the last four years, as we have faced unmatched crises and a new and seemingly foreign business landscape, this definition has fallen short. Business leaders are asking for more…not more money, not more opportunities, but for more personal fulfillment. They seek more ease in leading – and more of a personal reward for filling those big shoes.

The fact is, personal fulfillment doesn’t come from occasional exotic trips or long weekends to regroup and re-energize. True fulfillment encompasses both professional and personal aspects of life.

It doesn’t have to be this hard.

And lest you think that this is soft stuff, allow me to make a business case for your personal fulfillment.

Some outcomes from leaders who embrace this include positive energy and motivation, role modeling, improved communication, better decision-making, increased resilience, more empathy and understanding, positive culture, and higher employee retention. The list is significant.

James, CEO and founder of a tech company, had lost his motivation and energy despite his company’s growth and success.

“There’s no excitement in leading anymore,” he shared. “We reach goals, or we don’t – and the alarming thing is, I’m beginning not to care.”

James claimed an overwhelming workload and a constant pressure to perform. But after exploring this in depth with him, the real issue became apparent: there was a lack of alignment between his professional achievements and his personal values.

Digging deeper, I discovered that James’ definition of success was narrowly focused on business metrics, without having defined first his vision of personal fulfillment.

Further, after conducting a comprehensive assessment, it was clear that James did not know how to tap into his top strengths for energy, and his approach conflicted with his top values – a recipe for burnout.

This called for a coaching intervention to help James develop a new definition of success incorporating personal happiness and wellbeing alongside professional achievements.

The Jumpstart

As so many of my clients appreciate, we met for an initial two-day jumpstart away from the office to fast-track the process. This was helpful in elevating James’ sense of hope, energy, clarity, and direction. It was necessary to define James’ values, personal mission and vision before moving on to the business.

This is a key factor that is often missed and, if not done well, can create chronic conflict in the leadership experience. We redefined James’ strengths, as he had taken multiple assessments over time, some of which were not reliable and others which were limited in scope (note to the reader: assessments are not apples and apples – beware!) During that initial two days, we also created a strategic plan to align his daily activities and long-term goals with his newly defined success criteria. This plan addressed both his business leadership and life.

The Deep Dive

With this as our GPS, we then coached over the next year. This is deep and transformational work, including shifting habits and approaches formed over years of time, reshaping the stories that James told himself to open up more potential, and removing roadblocks and triggers that had previously held him in place.

The Result

James’ enthusiasm and joy of leading was re-energized. This had a cascade effect on his executive team and on the company, since a leader’s influence is significant on culture and outcomes. Some of the results for his company included increased productivity, better work-life balance, improved team morale, and overall business growth.

What about you? What is your personal definition of success?

Does it include both career achievements and personal fulfillment? Are you aligned in your values and tapping into your top strengths daily as you lead?


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Four Steps to Crisis Management

March 25, 2020 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Four Steps to Crisis Management
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Leading through crisis requires more of you – more energy, focus, and innovation.

Yet, sudden change generates great stress, which actively interferes with your ability to show up as you need to do.

How can you manage your emotions and thoughts effectively during this time so you can lead others through successfully?

Here are four steps that will help you tame stress and develop resilience during critical times so you can operate at your best.

1. Get grounded.

Making critical decisions requires a calm, sharp mind, able to keep all the pieces moving. How can you quickly ground yourself in critical moments?

  • Recognize emotions as useful.

Emotions are simply indicators that we need to pay attention. As you face a crucial conversation or decision, pause to ask yourself what emotions you are experiencing along with the situation.

What can these tell you?

This pause can help to regulate a “hot state” that can interfere with best thinking.

  • Unhook non-constructive thoughts.

What negative or non-constructive thoughts are you carrying with you during this time? Is there a “worry loop” that keeps playing in your head that does not serve you?

Reframe by replacing this with a different track each time the negative thought crosses your mind. This will lessen the stress that accompanies destructive thought patterns, and free you to make better decisions.

2. Create structure.

Structure promotes predictability, which reduces stress.

It is important for you to provide this for your team and organization – but you need to do so for yourself, first.

  • Prioritize what is important.

What is urgent vs. what is really important?

It is important to determine this, and revisit this on a daily basis. Make sure you schedule accordingly so urgencies don’t fill up your calendar.

  • Create a timeline.

This master document should have your priorities outlined so you can keep yourself and your team accountable. Revisit this on a weekly basis to adjust what needs shifting. Putting on paper what you need to keep in mind will free your mind to concentrate.

3. Stay connected.

  • Get a brain trust.

Who are the industry and other business experts that can serve as a think tank for you? How can you transmit this information to your executive team so that they can work to capacity with you? Decide how you can curate what you need to share, then incorporate this into your briefings.

  • Lean on your life team.

Make sure you have a life team that you can reach out to, and that has your best interests in mind. Decide together how and when you will connect to support each other, especially during crisis. Having people in your life to whom you can turn and be vulnerable allows you to draw strength for the task before you.

4. Reflect, then act.

Recall other uncertain times to draw from the lessons learned there. This will help you know what to do when you aren’t sure what to do.

For example, look back to a past market crash, or other crisis for comparison. Identify patterns, connect the dots. Notice similarities and take your best shot.

Calculated risks to move forward in such times have proved much better than the risks from inaction or decisions made without these considerations.

One key thing to remember is that crises are usually temporary; but decisions made during a crisis can have permanent implications. Protect your ability to make good decisions by…

1. Getting grounded.
2. Creating structure.
3. Staying connected.
4. Reflecting, then acting.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Primary Sidebar

Patti Cotton
Tweets by @PattiCotton
  • About
  • Consulting
  • Training
  • Speaking
  • Blog
  • Contact
Home | Contact | Privacy Policy

© 2024 Cotton Group LLC | PATTI COTTON 360° LEADERSHIP®