power

The Power of Self-Accountability: True Leadership Begins with the Person in the Mirror

September 11, 2024 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

When it comes to leadership, there’s a lot of talk about accountability. You’ve probably heard it in meetings, seen it in performance reviews, and maybe even mentioned it yourself when discussing team dynamics. But let’s be honest—most of us view accountability through a very narrow lens. We think about how accountable others are to us. We analyze our team members, colleagues, and even our bosses, scrutinizing their actions and decisions.

Here’s the reality: true leadership doesn’t start with holding others accountable. It begins with holding yourself accountable.

The Mirror Test

Imagine this scenario: You’re a leader facing a major challenge. The project deadline is looming, and your team is behind schedule. The temptation is strong to point fingers, to find out who dropped the ball. But before you do that, stop and take a good, long look in the mirror. What do you see? Are you holding yourself accountable for the role you’ve played in this situation? Have you set clear expectations, provided the necessary support, and modeled the behavior you expect from your team?

Self-accountability is the foundation of effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and acknowledging your mistakes. It’s not easy, and it requires a level of humility that many leaders find uncomfortable. But it’s absolutely essential if you want to lead with integrity and earn the trust of your team.

The Perils of Passing the Buck

In today’s fast-paced business environment, it’s easy to get caught up in the blame game. When things go wrong, our first instinct is often to find someone to blame. Maybe it’s a team member who didn’t deliver on time, or a colleague who didn’t communicate effectively. But passing the buck is a dangerous habit that can quickly erode trust and undermine your leadership.

When leaders blame others, they create a culture of fear and defensiveness. Team members become more concerned with covering their tracks than with collaborating and innovating. Worse, the leader’s credibility takes a hit. People start to see you as someone who shirks responsibility and avoids difficult conversations. Over time, this erodes the trust that’s critical for any high-performing team.

But what if, instead of blaming others, you took ownership of the situation? What if you acknowledged your role in the problem and committed to finding a solution? This kind of self-accountability is not only refreshing—it’s empowering. It sets the tone for your team and shows them that you’re willing to do the hard work of leadership.

The Intersection of Honesty and Humility

Self-accountability is grounded in two key principles: honesty and humility. Honesty means being truthful with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures. It’s about recognizing when you’ve made a mistake and being willing to admit it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Humility, on the other hand, is about understanding that leadership isn’t about you—it’s about the people you serve. It’s about putting the needs of your team ahead of your own ego and being open to feedback, even when it’s critical. Together, honesty and humility create a powerful foundation for self-accountability.

But let’s be clear—this isn’t about self-flagellation or dwelling on your mistakes. It’s about learning from them and using those lessons to become a better leader. It’s about setting a standard of excellence for yourself and your team and holding yourself to that standard every day.

The Real Problem: Fear of Failure

One of the biggest obstacles to self-accountability is the fear of failure. As leaders, we’re often so focused on achieving success that we become paralyzed by the thought of making a mistake. We worry that admitting our failures will make us look weak or incompetent. But the truth is, everyone makes mistakes. What sets great leaders apart is their willingness to own those mistakes and learn from them.

When you hold yourself accountable, you’re not just admitting that you’re human—you’re also demonstrating resilience and a commitment to growth. You’re showing your team that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you’re willing to take responsibility and work to improve. This kind of leadership fosters a culture of trust and continuous improvement, where team members feel safe to take risks and innovate.

Solutions: Cultivating Self-Accountability

So, how can you cultivate self-accountability in your leadership? It starts with a few simple practices that you can incorporate into your daily routine.

Regular Self-Reflection: Take time each day to reflect on your actions and decisions. Ask yourself, “What did I do well today? Where could I have done better? Did I hold myself to the standard I expect from others?” This simple practice can help you stay aligned with your values and identify areas for growth.
Seek Feedback: Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback from your team, colleagues, and mentors. Listen to what they have to say, and be open to their perspectives. Remember, feedback is a gift—it’s an opportunity to learn and improve.
Own Your Mistakes: When you make a mistake, admit it. Don’t make excuses or blame others. Instead, focus on what you can do to fix the problem and prevent it from happening again. This kind of ownership is a powerful way to build trust and credibility with your team.
Model Accountability: Lead by example. Show your team what self-accountability looks like in action. When they see you taking responsibility for your actions, they’ll be more likely to do the same.

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, self-accountability is the key to effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and striving to improve every day. It’s not always easy, but it’s the foundation on which trust, respect, and long-term success are built. So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge, don’t look to place the blame—look in the mirror. That’s where true leadership begins.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Does Your Leadership Need More Social Capital?

July 1, 2020 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Do you, as a leader, have the social capital you need to get the job done? Influence with others is paramount to leading.

How can you tell if you have enough? And if not, how do you go about building it?

Sarah, chief operating officer of a hospital, was the newest member of the C-suite. The board had highly recommended her, thinking that her previous experience with change management at another healthcare system would support their vision for growth.

Several months later, however, Sarah had not been able to meet her short-term goals. The rest of the executive team blocked her efforts with every move she made.

Mark, the CEO called me. “It’s as though they are out to get her,” he said. “She has a great plan, and I support that, but the rest of them are stalling her. What do I do?”

“Mark,” I said, “It sounds like she hasn’t taken the time to build up social capital.”

“Social capital?”

“Yes,” I said. “The influence to bring them along. Building relationships with them, developing trust, sharing norms and values so that when she needs something done and you support it, they work with her to accomplish it.”

“Well, great,” Mark said. “I don’t know how she is going to do it, now. One of the board members mentioned this morning that he had supported her candidacy. Evidently, he saw her last week and she updated him. He now thinks the board may have made a mistake in recommending her. Yet she is doing what I’ve asked her to do. Short of pulling power and demanding that everyone comply, what do I do?”

“Here’s the deal, Mark,” I responded. “Power is not as straightforward as you think. If you approach it in that way, Sandra loses all credibility as she hides behind you. And you create resentment on the part of the others – a slippery slope for a team’s commitment to the business.

“Power is complex, Mark. And in this case, it is relational. How Sandra builds her relationships will be key to her success – and to your retaining top talent across the team.”

“Please help, Patti. I can’t afford to lose credibility with my board and my executive team. And I certainly can’t afford to lose top talent. Sandra’s good. I think we just need a leg up.”

Mark then had me attend an executive team meeting, then later introduced me to Sandra, who quietly shared that she felt defeated and ready to quit.

“I guess I jumped in with big plans and didn’t take the time to build relationships, first,” she said.

“You are pretty astute,” I answered. “Watching the dynamics in the executive team meeting was like witnessing a shark frenzy. And you were the bait.”

“In my last position, all I had to do was to video call one of the satellite offices and talk with the director for a few minutes. Their workload might be almost impossible, but we worked well together to shoulder through. It was that way throughout the system.

“I guess I haven’t taken the time to get to know the others. The board gave us a pretty aggressive plan and a tight timeline. I thought the way was paved. But I thought wrong.”

“Let’s talk about what we can do from this point,” I said. “If you are willing, I would like to work with you to turn this around.”

Sandra agreed to give it her all. Then, we got to work.

Six months later, Sandra was on a much different and better footing with her colleagues. And they were on their way to expanding the hospital’s reach as they had needed to do.

What did Sandra do? She learned to apply five things that all leaders must incorporate into their way of leading:

1. Recognize that power is dictated by your interactions with others.

The relationships and alliances you create can be of major support to you when you encounter potential points of resistance. The resources, information, and help you need should be within the circle you forge over time. Important to note is that before people will commit to a stretch demand, they need to trust and know you, and to feel that you have their interests in mind and that you will support them when they need your help. To come to this point, you need to cultivate the relationships carefully, hearing of their interests and needs, and seeing how you can help them.

2. Assess the landscape before you dive in to make big changes.

Look at your long-term goals and objectives, your short-term wins, and any other priorities you have been handed. Who are key stakeholders in the areas that will be touched by the changes you need to make? Who is likely to resist? And why? If you can map out the web of those potentially affected by your efforts, you can then put together a plan to start bringing them along. And it’s true that we “don’t know what we don’t know.” As you begin speaking with those you feel will be affected, as them who else you should include in conversation around the topic. You can quickly build your networks in this way.

3. Gather insights from your stakeholders and invite them to help you co-create solutions.

Respect the history and perspective that others bring and remember that co-creation means that the parties involved will have more buy-in and support you to much greater extent. This will also help you to leverage relationships with others, as you will have advocates “in the field.”

4. Build your power network with intention.

Map out your network, identifying your dependencies both inside and outside the organization. Decide to systematically strengthen these relationships according to those upon whom you rely, those who rely upon you, and who controls various resources and support.

5. Take time for reciprocity.

How can you create value for those who are in your network? Can you connect them with others to help them realize their goals? Can you serve as a co-creator, even if you don’t have a stake in the initiative, but can lend brain trust? Decide what you can do to bring value to your relationships and do this systematically. As transactional as it seems, a spreadsheet to track your power network and the touches that you make with them to build social capital can serve extremely well.

How can you begin to build your own social capital to get things done? Or to strengthen one that has served you to this point? Personal power – influence – is key to leading effectively. Take time to fortify your power network to help you move effectively into the future.

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Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Beware of Hubris Syndrome

February 28, 2018 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

You have a successful track record. Your company is doing well. But over a period of time, you have lost touch with your employees.

In fact, when you aren’t in the room, they may describe you as “calloused” or uncaring.

But they don’t know what it takes to run a business. You can’t always stop to be warm and fuzzy with everyone.

Is that true?

Not necessarily.

You may be suffering from the beginnings of hubris syndrome.

Neuroscientist Sukhvinder Obhi has found that power damages our mirror-neurological activity — the neurological function that indicates the ability to understand and associate with others.

“David Owen, a British physician and parliamentarian, has dubbed this phenomenon hubris syndrome. He defines this as a ‘disorder of the possession of power, particularly power which has been associated with overwhelming success, held for a period of years.’” (Hougaard, et al).

Are some people just born with an inability to handle power?

Or is a hardened profile required to rise to – and stay at the top?

Hubris syndrome is actually an acquired personality change in people who assume positions of power. There are a few key symptoms that indicate one is suffering from this, and one particularly dark side to it is an inability to have compassion for other people. This can lead to devastating effects, and we’ve all witnessed this. Martin Winterkorn and the Volkswagen scandal. Martin Shkreli of Turing Pharmaceuticals. Hisao Tanaka of Toshiba.

These business leaders are among those who, over time, developed a greed and lust for more power. This caused them to lose their ability to feel compassion for others.

And the results were disastrous.

You are probably saying that you could never turn into a Winterkorn or Shkreli. And hopefully, you are right. However, if you have been in a position of power for some time, you will want to check on your ability to feel and exercise compassion.

Compassion moves beyond empathy, which is the ability to read and feel the emotions of others.

Compassion is a proactive commitment to contribute to the happiness and well-being of others. It’s an intentional attitude that, through regular practice, can be strengthened and become the hallmark of your leadership.

Here are some first steps to begin cultivating your compassion:

1. Seek to support others in your connections.

Each time you interact with others, begin by asking yourself, “How can I be of benefit to this person?” This turns your focus outward and strengthens your intentional commitment to their happiness.

2. Identify a family member who could use some support, or someone in your work who is a difficult personality.

Meditate on that person and send caring thoughts about their well-being. A common intention that people hold for this particular exercise is to repeat the statement, “May you be free from suffering. May you have joy and ease.”

3. Exercise compassion for yourself.

Where are you lacking compassion for yourself? Identify where you might be holding yourself to an impossible standard, or figuratively beating yourself up for past mistakes. Forgive yourself and move forward. Unless we can forgive our own errors, we cannot really do so for others.

You will notice as you begin an intentional compassion practice that your sense of purpose and contribution begin to grow alongside. And, funny thing, others respond well to practiced compassion. Your employees will begin to feel recognized and valued. Trust grows. And in turn, engagement, morale, and all the things that you need in order to sustain your business.

This creates a win-win situation.

(Reference: Hougaard, Rasmus; Jacqueline Carter and Louise Chester. Power Can Corrupt Leaders. Compassion Can Save Them. Harvard Business Review, 2/15/2018.)

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Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.