Perfection - Patti Cotton

Five Reasons Your Team May Not Be Candid With You — Image Credit: Shutterstock

How engaged is your team? Do the team members come in every day, energized, committed and excited about the work you are doing together? Are they huddled in groups brainstorming and coming up with new ideas?

Or do you get the feeling they need a vitamin shot? Are they sitting around with a second cup of coffee waiting for you to direct them?

What’s the problem?

If your team engagement is low, or its creative juices have dried up, your team members may have decided they just can’t be candid with you.

Why would they think that?

Here are some chief reasons employees aren’t candid with their leader:

1. You suffer from one-way thinking.

Are you really open to other perspectives, or do all your meetings end with your ideas as the only sound ones? If you aren’t open to encouraging and appreciating the ideas of others, people will quickly detect this and shut down. After all – why contribute when it doesn’t ever go anywhere? You will eventually surround yourself with people who simply agree to your ideas, and lose out on the brain trust you have in the room.

2. You don’t do feedback well.

If you don’t genuinely listen for the “gold” in growth opportunities, you are missing out. Your team members may have tried to give you helpful criticism in the past, but if they were met with defensiveness or denial, they will back off and stop trying to work on a better working relationship with you.

3. You’re a self-perceived super hero.

You don’t allow others to contribute. Your mantra is, “I need to start delegating more,” or, “When I ask others to help with X, Y, or Z, I get sub-par work back. It’s easier to do it myself.” If this is you, you aren’t developing your people and taking advantage of their ability to contribute. This will absolutely kill motivation in others.

4. You don’t include them.

You don’t bring others along in the process. If you don’t provide regular and meaningful updates to developments in the company and team initiatives, you aren’t empowering your people to stretch their critical thinking skills about how this affects what they are doing. If you find yourself simply telling people what to do all the time, you are probably guilty of this.

5. You’re a perfectionist.

Do you tend to come across as critical or judgmental, or demand perfection the first time around (ask your spouse or significant other if you don’t know – he or she will tell you!)? If so, you aren’t leaving room for your team to consider failures as learning points, and creative ideas as possible innovation for your company. Your team will tend to play safe and play small, so that you get smaller, safer work that appears perfect. But you will lose out on the new and innovative ideas and work they might bring. Consider this: Life, work, and leading are not about you and everything else being perfect. It’s about all this being exceptional.

If you suspect that your team is holding back, not being genuine, have a conversation with them. Ask them what they need in order to be more candid – and be prepared to receive their feedback as your own point of learning.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

The 3 R’s of Stress Reduction — Image Credit: Shutterstock

According to a Monster.com survey, workplace stress is a real issue. The results indicate 61% of respondents consider workplace stress a cause of illness, and 84% claim it impacts their personal lives in some form or fashion. Perhaps the most alarming statistic was that 66% said those in authority do nothing to help alleviate it.

In fact, those in authority – across several studies – were a major source of the stress.

Stress stems from several factors, and for each, there are internal contributors and external contributors. Here are just a few.

Perfection – Perfectionism can be rooted in your own thoughts, insecurities, and unrealistic expectations – or those of your company leaders.
Financial Pressures – Internal factors include your mindset around the issue of money (fear of loss or, ironically for some, fear of success), your expectations for how much you need to live the life you desire, and your habits of management. External factors are determined by the mindset, priorities, and practices of company leaders.
Conflict – Internal conflict stems from unresolved issues, whether real or perceived. External conflict stems from these same sources – unresolved issues, real or perceived.
Loss of Control – It is human nature to desire at least some form of control over ourselves, our circumstances, and our environment. This creates an inherent problem in today’s 24/7 world, where if not kept in check, the demands of work can control all other areas of life.

How can you lessen the stress?

Dr. Henry Cloud said it in one word, “Boundaries.”

Boundaries are important in the workplace – on both sides of the equation. As a leader, you want a workforce of people who are effectively engaged and get results. If your team is on the verge of burnout, your results will be impacted.

As an employee, you want to do your job and do it well, but you also need boundaries to ensure that your life stays well-rounded and that your relationships are healthy.

These guidelines work for both leaders and employees, and for internal and external stress factors.

Apply these 3R’s of Stress Reduction

1. Release

Releasing a situation is letting go of a perceived hurt by another person, a dysfunctional relationship with money, or the mistreatment of our own bodies. Symptoms that indicate the need to release something are things like cardiovascular disease, being in debt, or avoiding places where we might encounter “that other person.” If your situation is something you need to release, it’s time to do so. You are hurting no one but yourself if you continue to carry it.

Release perfection, both in your expectations of yourself and your expectations of employees. Strive for excellence, not perfection. Aim for progress, not perfection.

2. Reconcile

This term can be confusing. Most think it means making up with someone else – shaking hands, forgiving, and forgetting. But oftentimes, it simply means coming to terms with reality and accepting it, which is an agreement with either yourself or with someone else. Dropping the wishing and hoping, and recognizing that things are as they are – and that we have choices to be with those people or things – or not. Reconciliation can occur within us, or relationally.

3. Reframe

In a house, reframing is placing a picture or a door in a new frame so that it hangs right and works well. In the relational world – how you relate to yourself and others – it is changing the way you view and experience events, ideas, concepts, and emotions to find more positive alternatives.

Now that you have these options, where do you start?

Begin by identifying what stories you are carrying with you that need changing.

What’s the source of tension? Is it money? A relationship with someone else? An old hurt of some kind that won’t go away?

Then, ask yourself what needs changing.

Whether or not your point of tension involves another person, you can change the way you interface with your particular situation. You are in charge of whether or not you opt to be in the situation in the first place, and if so, how you want to be involved.

By deciding to take charge and delineate better boundaries for your life, you are on the road to creating a happier and healthier outcome.

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership: 3 Essential Gears

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Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.