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Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

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Why to Practice Gratitude in Restless Times

November 25, 2020 By Patti Cotton 1 Comment

Why to Practice Gratitude in Restless Times
Image Credit: Shutterstock

The United States is celebrating Thanksgiving. Historically, it is a cheerful and exciting kick-off to the holidays. However, this year has been full of complexity and challenges, and there are those of you reading this who are struggling with significant loss, perhaps personally and professionally.

It is important to acknowledge this and to recognize that, for many, life has been altered in a way that feels heavy and difficult. Tapping into the right resources to help provide support is key. And although we cannot possibly list every resource here that might be needed, if you are unsure as to where to turn, checking with a local county or state official’s office is a great start.

As we move forward, the practice of gratitude becomes even more important. It is not a replacement for loss, nor is this intended to dismiss confronting challenges. However, the art and science of gratitude has proven to be a life experience enhancer for many reasons, and I invite you to consider putting this to work for you.

Practicing gratitude has actually shown to be effective in many studies. In other words, research supports its positive effects.

Here are some key reasons you might want to begin a simple gratitude practice.

1. Elevate your mood and lower your stress.

The expression of gratitude is a perspective brightener. Researchers from Harvard, University of California Davis, and University of Pennsylvania have produced studies showing that people report elevated happiness as much as a month later by doing such things as keeping a gratitude journal, writing letters of appreciation, and jotting down positive memories.

The good feelings associated with performing these tasks also positively affect the hypothalamus, which controls basic bodily functions such as eating and sleeping, and dopamine, the “reward neurotransmitter.” And if you receive positive acknowledgment from someone else in this way, it operates on your brain in a similar way. This means better sleep habits, well-being, and health.

Imagine what this can do in the workplace!

2. Motivate those around you – and make the world a better place.

Integrating a practice of gratitude affects those around you. It is a great motivator, both at home and in the workplace.

A study performed by professors Grant and Gino on the merits of gratitude and its effects on motivating prosocial behavior emphasizes this point. Researchers divided participants into two groups and asked them to make fundraising calls to solicit alumni donations. One group followed the traditional method of making calls while another group was given a speech by the director of annual giving, who expressed gratitude for their efforts. The group who received the pep talk made 50% more fundraising calls than those who did not.

3. How do you begin? Here are a few tips.

  • Express gratitude daily.

Keep a journal and simply jot down three things for which you are thankful each morning. Over time, this has been shown to help redirect a person’s perspective in a more positive manner throughout the day. Write thank-you notes when you recognize your appreciation of others. Make a phone call to share your gratitude of others with them. Human beings need connection and acknowledgment more than ever before during these tumultuous times.

  • Celebrate small wins as well as large ones.

Look for the small nuggets of “good” and count your blessings. What do you take for granted each day that is really a luxury? Who do you appreciate for who they are – and not for what they do?

  • Seek out the unsung heroes.

There are many in our circles who, through their faithfulness and steady commitment, continue to make the world a better place. Note these. Let them know. Again, appreciation should not be limited to achievements, but to what they bring to the table in their character or demeanor.

  • Be genuine in your expressed appreciation.

If you are one who does not readily acknowledge the good things in life and other people, make sure that you are genuine in your expression when you do express appreciation. Others will not trust your efforts if you otherwise send signals of dismissal or unappreciation.

  • It’s the quality, not the quantity.

A client recently shared that she has a colleague who passes by her desk several times daily and each time he does, he says, “Good job!” However, when she stopped him the other day and asked him what he appreciated about her good work, he couldn’t answer her. Be sure that, when you are recognizing blessings or others, you are specific, so that this is meaningful to both you and them. Quality in this regard is everything. Otherwise, your message rings hollow.

Practicing gratitude just makes sense. It’s better for your health and outlook. It is contagious, inspiring, and motivating to those around you. And in times like these, when we cannot control many things we used to take for granted, we can serve as ripples in a pond, collectively making positive impact all around us.


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Recharge: Unplugging from Work the Right Way

October 2, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Recharge: Unplugging from Work the Right Way
Image Credit: Shutterstock

How often do you recharge your phone? My guess is that you recharge it intentionally on a regular basis so that it operates well for you at all times.

When was the last time you recharged yourself as instrument? Staying away from the office on weekends and that occasional vacation may not be restoring your ability to perform.

If you feel like you are slogging through mud, if you notice it seems to take you longer and longer to make decisions or to get the work done, this is a signal that you are not recharging effectively.

Time to switch it up.

A simple pause is not a recharge.

Just as an athlete’s body needs recovery time in between training sessions, your brain needs recovery time from performance to recharge. If it doesn’t receive this and you need to perform, you will begin to notice that your thinking isn’t as sharp as it has been in the past. Your performance-to-results-time is getting longer. It may feel like you are pushing a boulder uphill without relief to get the work done. As a result, your stress levels rise, fueling distraction and fatigue. What’s happening? You have set up a mode of operating that systematically depletes the mental and physical energy you need to accomplish work.

How do you redirect this path from impending burnout to recharge?

First, it’s important to recognize that the more you perform, the more you need to devote time to recovery. Second, what you do with that time to recover counts.

Calendar time to recharge and unplug.

Do you make time to recover? Evenings and weekends are places to start. But let’s look at how you are spending your time during those pauses. You are not recharging if you are doing any of the following at those times:

  • Scheduling or holding calls or meetings
  • Answering or even just checking work emails or work-related texts
  • Thinking about projects and work situations
  • Experiencing poor sleep and inadequate rest due to concern about an aspect of work

If any of the above situations strike home, it’s time to take some steps.

Break up with work on a regular basis.

1. Create boundaries with technology.

Shut your phone off and put the computer away. Consider carrying a dedicated work phone during workdays and leaving it in the office at night. Do these suggestions make you nervous? This may indicate that you suffer from a technology addiction or unhealthy expectations. Identify what concerns you about closing your virtual doors for the evening so that you can address this.

2. Remind yourself that you need your sleep.

Put your phone on sleep mode before you go to bed or put it in another room, so you aren’t disturbed by alerts and brightening lights. This keeps your sleep uninterrupted and free of the impulse to check right away to see if you should take care of something (most likely work!).

3. Empty your mind of work concerns.

Get a work journal. If you begin to think about work, either getting a bright idea or worrying you might forget something, write it down in your work journal. Put your journal somewhere such as in your briefcase, backpack, other where you will feel confident you won’t forget to take it with you when you return to work.

4. Reconcile that work will never be “done.”

Many live with the false belief that “once this project is complete, my workload will slow down or even out.”

Is that really true?

If you reflect back, you’ll realize this thinking is faulty. If you identify with this line of thought, considering reviewing the time you estimate for various tasks and projects, and how you gauge that you are on time as you work to complete deadlines.

Do some time blocking for these various initiatives to make sure you reserve space for work. You may find that you are optimistic, and that you haven’t allowed for unexpected interruptions and breaks. Identify what keeps you from opening up enough space for your work and readjust.

5. Integrate power-boost breaks on workdays.

Once you have preserved your evenings and weekends from work, examine your workdays for meaningful recharge. It’s tough to focus the entire day without pauses that refresh. And caffeine is not the answer.

Where in a typical workday can you break a few times for a 5-minute “brain break”? During these breaks, get up and move about. Connect with a coworker (on a non-work item such as how they spent their weekend). Meditate at your desk. Do something that allows your brain recovery time.

Infuse meaning into non-work time.

Once you have placed boundaries around non-work life, make this time count.

1. Reconnect well with family and friends.

Connecting with others nourishes your life through relationship. Be choosy about the people with whom you spend your time and make it count. Are you enjoying conversations and creating experiences together? Or are you sitting side by side while binge-watching shows without any mutual exchange?

2. Include fun and laughter.

Take stock of whether fun and laughter are well-embedded in your relationships, pastimes, and general philosophy. Intentionally lifting these up in your life makes a big difference in the quality of your exchanges and your outlook.

3. Revisit your larger purpose.

Take regular time to reflect on what you do and why you do it. How does what you do impact the larger picture of not only the business, but of life? Are you making the impact to which you aspire? Does this align with your life vision?

If you can’t answer these questions, it’s time to seek clarity. Your larger purpose + aligned and meaningful work = your legacy. Make yours count.

Recovery time should be intentional and meaningful. More than just a simple battery recharge, this should be a time when you focus on life priorities and meaning.

I often ask my clients what they want to celebrate at the end of their lives. Never has one said that he wants to leave a clean desk behind, no matter what the cost to his relationships, health, and life.

Rather, clients talk about making sure their footprint has been one of forging wonderful relationships, having positive influence on the lives of others, and helping to make the world a better place. If you identify with something along these lines, it’s time to unplug, recharge, and refocus how you approach your work to invite the space in which you can do this.

Starting now.

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
– Anne Lamott


© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

What Do We All Really Want in Life?

April 12, 2017 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

January 15, 2009. It began like many other days in his lifetime – checking in at the airport, taking his seat in the captain’s chair, and running through the pre-flight checklist. He had done it thousands of times in his expansive career. As he took off, he remarked to his co-pilot, “What a beautiful view of the Hudson today!”

Little did he know that, within seconds of making that remark, he was about to make a detour into his ultimate purpose in life. That was the day Captain Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger safely landed US Airways Flight 1549 in the Hudson River, saving the lives of all on board.

When you are young, your goals are related to learning, experiencing, and advancing in your career. These are the building years – building family, building a career or business, and building community.

But there’s a shift that occurs in mid-life, where you begin to look at life from a broader perspective. You shift from simply wanting to make a living to being compelled to make a difference. Captain Sully writes about this in his book, Making a Difference, where he shares the insights of leaders in business, technology, science, and other industries.

As an executive coach, I meet talented and experienced business men and women every day who express to me a desire to make a difference, to know their lives have made an impact – on their relationships, their community, their business, and in some big or small way, the world. They may have earned the income and positional respect, but it is impact that matters most to them.

It made me realize that I, too, had this perspective. As a busy wife, mother, grandmother, and now care-taker daughter, I want make an impact on my family. As a volunteer with women and children’s organizations, I desire to make an impact on my community. As a business owner, I am compelled to make an impact in the business world. And as a former diplomat, I desired to make an impact even then.

What is the impact?

It differs for each person, but for me, it is about developing leaders for this generation and the next – leaders who, themselves, will make a difference, each in their own way. It is about developing good ethics and values in my grandchildren so they can have a blessed life. It is about developing strong communities by strengthening its people. It is about developing strong and successful business leaders to make an impact, not only in their lives, but in the lives of their people. It is about developing relationships with others, which makes for a better world.

What is impact for you?

What difference would you like to make in these four key areas of your life?

  • Relationships
  • Community
  • Business
  • World

This is a challenging but compelling question. Taking the time to reflect and explore each area allows you to set goals for the second act of your life that will fulfill your desire to truly make a difference.

You have spent decades preparing for this day. The question is, where do you go from here and how do you make a difference?


Patti Cotton helps executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and the enterprise. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, succession planning, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, leadership development, succession planning, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

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