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leading from the heart

What Does Compassionate Leadership Look Like in a Crisis?

April 29, 2020 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

What Does Compassionate Leadership Look Like in a Crisis?
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Making decisions in a crisis may feel like one arm is tied behind your back. Whether you head one direction or another, the anticipated results are full of challenges.

Compassion is key to moving your people forward and promoting organizational health.

What does it look like when you don’t have all the answers?

I help leaders to lead change. Most typically, leaders call me when they are ready to grow, develop new leadership talent for succession, expand into new markets, or transition through a merger or acquisition. Leading and managing at such critical change points can make or break an organization.

COVID-19, however, is one of those change points that takes us by surprise and has turned the business landscape upside down. Such a cataclysmic event requires all the fortitude, competency, and character of a leader to move through such devastation.

At such a time as this, compassion rises up to be most important.

Compassion is perhaps the most misunderstood characteristic of leading from the heart. Many interpret this to be “touchy-feely,” or devoid of backbone. Yet, compassion is perhaps the strongest trait that a leader can embody.

What does compassion look like in a crisis?

Following are three conversations I have had with leaders in the past few weeks. I’ve protected their identity through slight changes in the profiles.

  1. Containment is more important than reinforcing vision.

“Our people seem to be doing pretty well,” said the CEO. “They are adjusting to working from home and finding creative ways to connect with each other during the pandemic.”

“Well, you can thank yourself and the leadership team for that,” I replied. “I just talked with one of your directors who said you all have made a great difference. He said your president assured everyone that the company was on solid ground. You have been sending personal notes of acknowledgment and encouragement. Your entire team has expanded the “open door” policy to holding virtual “kitchen time” hours so that people to drop in and say hello to you.

“What you are doing is containing or ‘holding,’” I said. “Containing people’s emotions and showing them that you are shouldering with them is key to helping them move forward together. On the other hand, some of your peers are not doing this.”

“What’s happening there?” the CEO inquired.

“We are sadly seeing a lot of anxiety and fragmentation,” I answered. “It turns out that painting a brighter future isn’t effective when your people don’t feel held with empathy and compassion in the moment.”

  1. Asking questions before making judgments yields better results.

“I’m frustrated,” said the president of another company. “We could move a lot faster, but I’m finding people are not performing the way they could. Granted, we are in strange circumstances, but I’m not getting results.”

“Let’s get one of your managers on the phone with us,” I suggested. “You and she have always been able to troubleshoot together, and I’m sensing we need to dive deeper here.”

A 20-minute 3-way call proved to be revealing. After probing deeper in a couple of key areas, we discovered that although the company’s systems supported this crisis environment, protocols and processes had not been ironed out. Conflict was on the rise, and as a result, productivity was very low. The president called an emergency executive team meeting to help troubleshoot this. Two weeks later, productivity has risen quickly even though people are still working from home.

I debriefed last week with the president. “So, what lessons are you learning from your COVID experience?” I asked.

“Well, Patti, I’m learning that I should ask more questions before I make judgments,” the president answered. “I can’t believe I didn’t dive into the productivity challenge more deeply before talking with you.”

“We most often revert to ‘fire-fighting mode’ when crisis hits,” I said. “And leaders and their teams sometimes have to put out big fires quickly, so let yourself off the hook here. But asking questions before judging is key. Great learning.”

  1. Making business decisions that support the company will best support its people.

Emotions and tensions are high. Executive team members have been working around the clock to cut costs as they incur big losses. Part of the emergency measures can involve layoffs and furloughs, and this is always devastating. Each life involved has a family and livelihood tied to it. And it is in this kind of scenario where compassion may look like ruthlessness.

“The executive team decided 5 week ago that we need to lay off 50 employees,” the CMO shared. “We have cut the budget by 40% and need to cut more in order for the business to stay afloat. We’ve even taken pay cuts at the executive level. But we are going to have to eliminate positions or keep ourselves in extreme jeopardy.”

“I’m so sorry to hear this,” I responded. “Layoffs are always so very sad. But what’s holding you back? It’s been 5 weeks since you made the decision. We are in tough times right now.”

“Truthfully, some of us just can’t face laying off our people,” the CMO answered. “We keep hoping an alternative will emerge.”

“Sounds tough,” I agreed. “But you know a miracle isn’t going to pop up. Allow me to help you reframe this. If you don’t effectuate the layoffs, it will hurt the company. If the company is in jeopardy because you aren’t making the cuts, then this places the rest of your employee base at risk. Right?”

“I guess so,” the CMO said. “Yes, you are right. If we don’t make these cuts, there will be no jobs for anyone.”

“Exactly,” I said. “Deferring to the business case, as strange as it sounds, is the highest expression of compassion. Making emotional decisions for a few at the expense of many is unwittingly destructive.”

“It helps to process with you,” the CMO said. “It’s still hard.”

“Yes, it’s still really hard,” I answered. “I’m sorry you and the team are having to do this. Just keep in front of you the people you are helping to keep afloat by supporting the solvency of the business. It doesn’t fix that hard situations often call for tough choices.”

Exercising compassion in your leadership when facing crisis isn’t always easily detected to the outsider.

In fact, it can seem quite the opposite. It can give the idea to some observing that you aren’t coming up with quick answers when in fact, you are allaying the fears and concerns that otherwise keep your people paralyzed. It can seem to those not involved that you aren’t taking quick action when you are simply asking critical questions first in order to make best decisions. It may even appear ruthless to some when you are really supporting the fate of many.

It is now that the courage to exercise strong compassion is paramount.

“A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decisions, and the compassion to listen to the needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by the equality of his actions and the integrity of his intent.” — Douglas MacArthur

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

How High Is Your Connectivity Quotient?

June 12, 2019 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Image Credit: Shutterstock

Your ability to influence and impact others requires that you build bonds and trust. To do this, you must be able to connect genuinely – and well.

How can you increase your connectivity in a world of urgency and speed?

This actually is a matter of life and death, if we are to extrapolate from MIT professor and researcher Sherry Turkle, who wrote the book Reclaiming Conversations. Turkle reveals that because of the increasing decline of empathy among the younger generations, we are now witnessing depression, anxiety, and stress climbing quickly. In fact, Turkle observes that we are seeing the most severe depression in teenagers today that we have ever noted in the entire written history of psychology.

The business world suffers from a lack of connection, as well.

In my leadership and culture work, one of my most sought-after management trainings is “Leading from the Heart,” where people learn how to reconnect and flex their empathy to create a more positive and productive work experience. I cannot tell you how many participants continue to stress that this learning has changed their world at work.

People are hungry for connection.

Superficial Connectedness

Turkle cites “superficial connectedness” as a chief culprit. This interferes with deeper, more meaningful exchanges and opportunities to reflect upon and synthesize information for greater critical thinking.

A chief factor is technology.

It facilitates an influx of information that increases daily, and it enables us to communicate at warp speed. This gift is often misused, and the sheer magnitude of incoming can create an imposed need to respond just as quickly.

There are other factors that impel us to respond to the tyranny of the urgent.

Jeff Bezos is quoted to have said, “Go fast and break things!”

Words and phrases like velocity and warp speed are touted as prized – and indeed, the global marketplace shifts constantly as the earth rotates.

However, must this become the new culture?

Because when it comes to connection, speed can be dangerous.

As speed pushes us forward, our personal resources to slow down and connect with others diminish. Along with this, empathy begins to wither.

How can you begin to make your way back to making meaningful connections in a business world that assuredly continues to gain speed?

Here are three ways that will help you get back on track to make connecting an intentional and rewarding experience:

  1. Place boundaries around your technology use.

A study by global tech protection and support company Asurion reveals that the average person struggles to move beyond 10 minutes without checking their phone. In fact, this study reveals that Americans check their phone on average once every 12 minutes, burying their faces in their phones 80 times a day.

Get creative with how you minimize your technology when you are meeting to connect with others.

    • Place the phone on “airplane mode.”

If this idea makes you cringe, begin by giving your phone to your assistant and alerting him or her to let you know if certain urgent calls come in.

    • Turn your computer’s e-mail alerts off.

Studies show that each distraction makes you lose 20 minutes of focus – in other words, it will take you a full 20 minutes to get your head back into concentrating on what you were doing prior to the distraction.

    • Have an inviting seating area in your office or meeting place with no tech devices such as computers or iPads.

Better yet, ask if you can walk outside together as you talk. This is not only invigorating, but it removes all office distractions and allows for deeper conversations. Old-fashioned. Retro. Connective.

  1. Flex your empathy by reviving your deep listening skills.

Are you truly listening to connect, or are you just waiting for a pause so that you can jump in?

Check yourself to make sure you are giving full focus to the other person. Ask questions – and ask the “follow-up question” to go deeper. Listen to learn and not to fix. Ask to understand and not to get to the bottom of things. Observe to widen your perspective, and not to make a quick judgment.

  1. Invest in your connections.

In such a fast-paced world, your circles of influence are probably bursting. Identify the handful that you feel you need to play an active and meaningful part in your world, and plan connection with them. That’s breakfast, coffee, golf, or some face-to-face activity that gives you time to have different and more rewarding conversations.

Technology and the speed of change are here for good. Let’s make sure our ability to make and sustain meaningful connections rises to meet them.

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© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

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