Patti Cotton

Executive Coach & Career Strategist

failure

The Power of Self-Accountability: True Leadership Begins with the Person in the Mirror

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The Power of Self-Accountability: True Leadership Begins with the Person in the Mirror
Image Credit: Depositphotos

When it comes to leadership, there’s a lot of talk about accountability. You’ve probably heard it in meetings, seen it in performance reviews, and maybe even mentioned it yourself when discussing team dynamics. But let’s be honest—most of us view accountability through a very narrow lens. We think about how accountable others are to us. We analyze our team members, colleagues, and even our bosses, scrutinizing their actions and decisions.

Here’s the reality: true leadership doesn’t start with holding others accountable. It begins with holding yourself accountable.

The Mirror Test

Imagine this scenario: You’re a leader facing a major challenge. The project deadline is looming, and your team is behind schedule. The temptation is strong to point fingers, to find out who dropped the ball. But before you do that, stop and take a good, long look in the mirror. What do you see? Are you holding yourself accountable for the role you’ve played in this situation? Have you set clear expectations, provided the necessary support, and modeled the behavior you expect from your team?

Self-accountability is the foundation of effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and acknowledging your mistakes. It’s not easy, and it requires a level of humility that many leaders find uncomfortable. But it’s absolutely essential if you want to lead with integrity and earn the trust of your team.

The Perils of Passing the Buck

In today’s fast-paced business environment, it’s easy to get caught up in the blame game. When things go wrong, our first instinct is often to find someone to blame. Maybe it’s a team member who didn’t deliver on time, or a colleague who didn’t communicate effectively. But passing the buck is a dangerous habit that can quickly erode trust and undermine your leadership.

When leaders blame others, they create a culture of fear and defensiveness. Team members become more concerned with covering their tracks than with collaborating and innovating. Worse, the leader’s credibility takes a hit. People start to see you as someone who shirks responsibility and avoids difficult conversations. Over time, this erodes the trust that’s critical for any high-performing team.

But what if, instead of blaming others, you took ownership of the situation? What if you acknowledged your role in the problem and committed to finding a solution? This kind of self-accountability is not only refreshing—it’s empowering. It sets the tone for your team and shows them that you’re willing to do the hard work of leadership.

The Intersection of Honesty and Humility

Self-accountability is grounded in two key principles: honesty and humility. Honesty means being truthful with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, your successes and failures. It’s about recognizing when you’ve made a mistake and being willing to admit it, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Humility, on the other hand, is about understanding that leadership isn’t about you—it’s about the people you serve. It’s about putting the needs of your team ahead of your own ego and being open to feedback, even when it’s critical. Together, honesty and humility create a powerful foundation for self-accountability.

But let’s be clear—this isn’t about self-flagellation or dwelling on your mistakes. It’s about learning from them and using those lessons to become a better leader. It’s about setting a standard of excellence for yourself and your team and holding yourself to that standard every day.

The Real Problem: Fear of Failure

One of the biggest obstacles to self-accountability is the fear of failure. As leaders, we’re often so focused on achieving success that we become paralyzed by the thought of making a mistake. We worry that admitting our failures will make us look weak or incompetent. But the truth is, everyone makes mistakes. What sets great leaders apart is their willingness to own those mistakes and learn from them.

When you hold yourself accountable, you’re not just admitting that you’re human—you’re also demonstrating resilience and a commitment to growth. You’re showing your team that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you’re willing to take responsibility and work to improve. This kind of leadership fosters a culture of trust and continuous improvement, where team members feel safe to take risks and innovate.

Solutions: Cultivating Self-Accountability

So, how can you cultivate self-accountability in your leadership? It starts with a few simple practices that you can incorporate into your daily routine.

  1. Regular Self-Reflection: Take time each day to reflect on your actions and decisions. Ask yourself, “What did I do well today? Where could I have done better? Did I hold myself to the standard I expect from others?” This simple practice can help you stay aligned with your values and identify areas for growth.
  2. Seek Feedback: Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback from your team, colleagues, and mentors. Listen to what they have to say, and be open to their perspectives. Remember, feedback is a gift—it’s an opportunity to learn and improve.
  3. Own Your Mistakes: When you make a mistake, admit it. Don’t make excuses or blame others. Instead, focus on what you can do to fix the problem and prevent it from happening again. This kind of ownership is a powerful way to build trust and credibility with your team.
  4. Model Accountability: Lead by example. Show your team what self-accountability looks like in action. When they see you taking responsibility for your actions, they’ll be more likely to do the same.

The Bottom Line

At the end of the day, self-accountability is the key to effective leadership. It’s about being honest with yourself, owning your actions, and striving to improve every day. It’s not always easy, but it’s the foundation on which trust, respect, and long-term success are built. So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge, don’t look to place the blame—look in the mirror. That’s where true leadership begins.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

The High Costs of Not Delegating

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The High Costs of Not Delegating
Image Credit: Depositphotos

You are buried at work. You keep digging through urgent problems and you are frustrated. It doesn’t stop.

Will you ever reach a point where you can focus on the things that matter most?

And how much stress are you carrying because of this? What is its impact to you? To the organization?

The bottom line is that you will always be confronted with the urgent and unexpected. So, if you are saying things to yourself like, “Once I get this out of the way, I’ll be able to..,” think, again. You have a choice: you can decide to keep doing what you are doing and anticipate the same results, or you can make the hard decision to stop the madness and make a change.

In the high-stakes world of leadership, delegating effectively is one of the most powerful things you can do to work more effectively and make greater impact.

When you consider the high return, what is holding you back?

In working with senior leaders, I have found that the top five reasons they struggle with delegation all come back to fear.

What are you afraid of?

Here are five client scenarios. Each made the shift from overloaded and overwhelmed to focus, ease, and what matters most.

  1. Perfectionism and Control

Sarah, the CEO of a fast-growing tech startup, was known for her meticulous attention to detail. Her perfectionism drove the company’s high standards but also meant she often redid work done by her team.

When Sarah called me, her need for control had set her up to crash.

“I spend countless hours tweaking presentations and reports. It doesn’t seem like anyone else can meet my standard of excellence. I find myself working late into the night, and I can’t focus on the strategic initiatives we have targeted that will propel the company forward.”

After talking with her, it was also clear that beyond her overwhelm and stress, her team felt like they could never do anything right. Motivation was low.

“I’m just not sure my team is capable of getting it done properly,” Sarah said.

“Let’s put this to the test,” I responded.

I asked Sarah to begin delegating less critical tasks with regular oversight so that she could assess this. As she did so, she noticed her reports were eager to help and more engaged. This process built a foundation of trust for her in her team’s capabilities.

Sarah learned that part of the reason others were not meeting her expectations was that she needed to communicate them more clearly and to provide feedback to help the team improve. Over time, this approach helped them to learn how she wanted things done, and it freed her to concentrate on more significant responsibilities, enhancing her leadership effectiveness. Her team felt more valued and empowered, leading to greater talent retention. A win-win.

  1. Lack of Trust

James, a CFO, struggled to delegate financial reporting tasks. Missed deadlines and errors made by his team had eroded his trust in their abilities. He would end up handling most of the reporting himself, leading to immense pressure and stress.

“I feel like I babysit and chase when I delegate,” James said. “Wondering if someone will deliver on time and have it right – well, I just don’t have the patience.”

James’s lack of trust stifled his team’s growth and development. Talented employees felt frustrated and disengaged, as they were not given opportunities to take on challenging tasks. This mistrust also hampered the team’s ability to innovate and adapt to new challenges.

As James and I talked through the situation, I discovered that he had not set up an accountability process with his team. For example, when he gave a directive, he did not provide clarity. Further, he did not give a deadline as to when he expected to see drafts. And finally, he admitted that some of the team was overdue for training that would support their ability to perform at higher levels.

The problem was not his team – it was the need for a shared process.

Building trust required transparency and gradual delegation. James let the team know that he wanted to empower them to do more, and that he would be providing training, as well as a better way to communicate clearly about deadlines and review drafts. He started by delegating parts of the financial reports, closely monitoring progress, and providing constructive feedback. As he took this approach, and invested in training and development, it enhanced his team’s competence, gradually rebuilding his confidence in their abilities.

  1. Fear of Losing Authority

Laura, a senior VP, believed that holding onto critical tasks reinforced her authority within the organization. She feared that delegating would make her seem less indispensable and diminish her influence.

Laura’s reluctance to delegate limited her team’s ability to grow and take on more responsibility. It also prevented her from focusing on strategic initiatives that required her expertise. Over time, this behavior led to a stagnant team and missed opportunities for the company.

Things came to a head when the CEO called Laura in. As she reported to me later, her CEO had noticed the underperforming team – not her ability to achieve a lot. Further, he felt she was not focusing on what mattered most. That’s when they decided to call me in to help.

In working with Laura, it was clear that she needed to shift her perspective on leadership. This took time, but it allowed Laura to gain the confidence and clarity she needed to focus on what mattered most in her position. And by delegating effectively, she was able to focus on more strategic initiatives, demonstrating her leadership in driving the company’s vision forward. Mentoring her team and empowering them to succeed enhanced their capabilities and also reinforced her role as a visionary leader.

  1. Time Constraints

Mark was a COO who was always pressed for time. He believed it was quicker to complete tasks himself rather than delegate and review them. This mindset left him overwhelmed and unable to focus on strategic priorities.

Not surprisingly, Mark’s inability to delegate effectively led to chronic stress and burnout. He was constantly firefighting, unable to step back and take a strategic view of the business. His team, meanwhile, remained underdeveloped and dependent on his constant input.

Mark actually had to take a 3-month sabbatical for severe stress. During this time, he did a lot soul-searching and reached out for help. When he was ready to get back to work, we talked frankly about him taking time to invest in developing his team’s skills. Although this initially filled most of his calendar, it paid off in the long run as his team became more self-sufficient and acquired a greater understanding and ability to contribute. Clear communication of expectations and regular check-ins ensured tasks were completed to a high standard without his constant oversight.

  1. Previous Negative Experiences

Nathan, a VP of Sales, had a bad experience with delegation in the past where a critical task was mishandled, leading to the loss of a significant client. This experience has made him wary of delegating again.

Nathan’s reluctance to delegate hinders his team’s development and creates a bottleneck in decision-making processes. His inability to delegate critical tasks means he is perpetually overworked, and his team is left feeling undervalued and under-challenged.

Nathan can start afresh by identifying team members’ strengths and delegating tasks that align with their skills. Implementing a robust review process and maintaining open lines of communication can mitigate risks and rebuild his confidence in delegation. Learning from past experiences and making necessary adjustments can turn previous failures into opportunities for growth.

The Impact on the Team

In all these client experiences, it is important to note that, when there is a lack of appropriate delegation, team members can feel unrecognized, devalued, and disengaged. This is demotivating. Underperformance certainly follows, in addition to the lack of contribution they are able to make because they are not included.

Longer term, team members that are not provided with someone who cares about their development, and not provided the stretch experiences to learn and grow, will miss career opportunities, which is life changing.

The Broader Impact on the Company

The reluctance to delegate not only affects individual executives and their teams but also has broader implications for the entire company. Here are some of the key impacts:

  • Decreased Innovation: When executives hold onto tasks, their teams lack the opportunity to innovate and bring fresh ideas. This can lead to stagnation and a failure to keep up with competitors.
  • Inefficient Use of Resources: Executives spending time on tasks that could be delegated leads to inefficient use of high-level talent. This misallocation of resources can impede the company’s growth and agility.
  • Low Morale and High Turnover: Teams that feel underutilized and undervalued are more likely to experience low morale and high turnover. This not only disrupts operations but also incurs significant costs in recruiting and training new employees.
  • Strategic Neglect: Executives bogged down with day-to-day tasks often neglect strategic planning and long-term vision. This can lead to missed opportunities and a lack of direction for the company.

Moving Forward: Practical Steps for Effective Delegation

In sum, to foster a culture of effective delegation, executives can adopt the following strategies:

  1. Build Trust and Competence: Invest in training and development to enhance your team’s skills and build trust in their abilities.
  2. Communicate Clearly: Set clear expectations and provide the necessary resources and support for your team to succeed.
  3. Empower and Mentor: Shift from a control mindset to an empowerment mindset. Focus on mentoring and developing your team.
  4. Prioritize Strategic Focus: Delegate operational tasks to free up time for strategic initiatives that drive the company forward.
  5. Celebrate Success: Recognize and celebrate your team’s achievements to reinforce the value of delegation and boost morale.

By addressing the underlying reasons for hesitation and taking these first steps, executives can overcome their reluctance to delegate, leading to a more empowered team and a higher-performing, productive company. Delegation is not about losing control; it’s about multiplying your impact through the strengths of others.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Is Your New Executive a Poor Cultural Fit – or Simply Situationally Unaware?

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Is Your New Executive a Poor Cultural Fit – or Simply Situationally Unaware?
Image Credit: Shutterstock

Most often, great new talent will fail, not because they are incompetent, but because they are what we call a “poor cultural fit.”

Such “poor fits” usually don’t last more than 12-18 months. It’s a big loss for the organization and the executive, both in morale and in the investment of money and time.

But more often than not, what is labeled as “poor cultural fit” is really a lack of situational awareness.

Is your new executive a poor fit? Or simply situationally unaware?

When Chris called me, she was completely demoralized.

“Patti, I have an excellent team. We’ve been through crisis and change and are even stronger than before. But I’m incredibly disappointed about my newest hire, Stan. He was the most promising talent when we onboarded him. And what a track record! But he’s not connecting the dots here at the company. He keeps missing the mark. He’s just an incredibly poor fit with our culture!”

“Chris, what are you seeing that tells you he’s a poor fit?”

“Well, he doesn’t seem to grasp the organizational structure when he makes decisions. The other day, he rode right over my top project manager to fast-track one of his initiatives. And even though we approach decision-making in a democratic fashion, he continues to call the shots on things in which he should include others. I guess I’ve hired a racehorse that doesn’t belong here.”

“Chris, is he willful or stubborn? In other words, is he trying to show off?”

“No, Patti – he truly just seems to operate differently, the way I described. Is there anything I can do?”

“I actually think there is, Chris. If my hunch is correct, Stan lacks situational awareness.”

“Explain, please,” answered Chris.

“Stan may simply need to develop a better lens in reading the social and political currents of the organization. Right now, it sounds as though he doesn’t have a good read on your organizational norms – the way you do things there. And he may also not understand the power relationships and how they work at the company.”

“Whatever it is, please help,” said Chris. “The other team members are distrustful of Stan, and his seasoned reports are shutting down.”

Chris arranged for me to meet Stan the next week. I felt sorry for him. He realized he was making mistakes and had become frustrated.

“I’m finding it very difficult to get things done here, Patti,” he said. “I’ve been handed some aggressive goals. and I see what’s possible. But I seem to keep treading on people’s toes, and there are obviously some unspoken rules around here. I’m lost.”

Stan and I talked a bit about his onboarding process.

“Truthfully, I was welcomed at a strategic planning retreat and met all my colleagues. I have meant to get around to meeting each one, learning more about what they do, how things work. But we have some time-sensitive goals, and they are pretty challenging. So, I’ve gotten to know them only through our interactions in team meetings. And, of course, I have a copy of the strategic plan with responsibilities assigned.”

“Who is mentoring you in this first phase of your employment?” I asked.

“Mentoring? No one. Chris says she’s available for any questions. But she’s pretty busy. I’m just pushing through this as best I can. But I’m really not making friends.”

I sat with Chris later and shared my thoughts.

“You have a bright executive. And he’s willing. He knows he’s in trouble. The challenge here is that he doesn’t have someone to walk him through the political and social networks he needs to know in order to get things done.”

“I’ve been pretty busy,” Chris admitted. “He does come in and ask questions from time to time. We talked through his responsibilities with the strategic plan. What else can I do?”

“Have you identified key stakeholders for each of his initiatives and introduced him to them?”

“No,” Chris answered slowly.

“Have you walked through your decision-making process here at the company?” I asked.

“No,” she said. Her shoulders drooped. “Wow. I’ve really messed up this onboarding, haven’t I? I’ve actually set him up for failure.”

“It’s not too late,” I countered. “Let’s sit with him and get a plan together. I don’t think you need to bear the full responsibility of this – but it needs to be orchestrated. I have some ideas.”

A few weeks later, Stan called me to thank me.

“What a difference,” he said. Taking the time to talk through how things work around here, how people get things done – invaluable. Having a couple of colleague mentors to help bounce things off of before I press a button – what a change. I just wanted to thank you.”

“Stan, I’m glad it’s working out,” I said. “You have a lot of contribute.”

“You know, Patti, I guess I should have asked Chris to help me come up with such a strategy. It never occurred to me since I had never encountered such a problem elsewhere. But – lesson learned.”

Lesson learned is exactly what Chris said later, as well.

“We all have our growing edges, Chris,” I said. “You have pushed through another one. You are on your way.”

What about you? Do you have an executive who finds it hard to get the work done?

Do they tread on others’ toes? Are they having trouble connecting the dots? It will be well worth your time to sit with your team member to explore where the gaps are. And be prepared because you may discover that one of the gaps is you.

In addition to resolving the issue, it could be a great opportunity for leadership growth at many levels, including your own.

The Clockwork of Excellent Leadership:   3 Essential Gears

What makes up excellent leadership? The essential components that go into leadership must all work together, or they begin to wear on one another and bring things to a stop. Learn how to keep them running like clockwork. Sign up to receive the  complimentary infographic.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

The Time My Father Lost a Million Dollars and Went Bankrupt

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The Time My Father Lost a Million Dollars and Went Bankrupt

Your future can hinge on just one critical conversation.

The problem is that many of us don’t like critical conversations.

These often deal with tough issues, and most of us prefer to avoid confronting these, hoping whatever needs to be dealt with will just go away.

It doesn’t.

There was a time, in the 1990s, when my father could have salvaged $1 million and saved his business. Instead, he was forced to sell and declare bankruptcy in the process.

It is a rich case study that bears in-depth analysis and conversation. But for the sake of this topic, let’s focus on the breaking point.

My father’s controller walked in one morning, looking as though she had just suffered a death.

“I have to tell you something,” she said. “It’s not going to be easy to hear.”

My father looked up and said, “Janet, we’ve always been able to talk about the tough stuff. You and I have been together in this endeavor for 30 years. What’s happening?”

“We’ve lost a million dollars,” Janet replied.

“We’ve…what?!”  my father gasped.

“We’ve lost a million dollars,” she repeated.

“That’s not possible,” Dad croaked. “Where is it on the books?”

“It’s not on the books,” Janet answered. “The books say we are fine. But it’s not in the bank…”

As the story unfolded, my father watched his business future melt away before his eyes. The billing manager for Medicaid had been stuffing paperwork in her desk drawer, rather than filing for reimbursement. For a year. Over $1 million was lost on the paperwork sitting in her desk drawer.

I’m not going to pretend to know why. There’s so much in this story for analysis that we could hold a week-long seminar on it. Who’s minding the store, protocols and process, checks and balances, accountability…so much…

But the pièce-de-résistance was that Dad’s controller had known about it for some time. She was just afraid to tell him.

The window of opportunity to send in the paperwork for reimbursement had passed. (There was a one-year limit on filing.) The controller knew long before the year was up that this was a problem.

But she had been too afraid to admit to Dad that she had not overseen the billing properly. That she had discovered this months into the process. That when she discovered the problem, she was unable to rectify it by holding the billing manager and the process accountable.

So she figuratively put her head in the sand.

Again, the story is much too long, full, and rich to share here. But my father was faced with having to sell the business because of the loss. And in the process, the buyer forced his hand by requesting that he file bankruptcy or lose the sale.

Dad bankrupted. Against every fiber of his being. Morally speaking, he didn’t agree with not paying his debt (and by the way, bless his soul, over the last 20 years, he has paid back every creditor personally from his own fixed income.)

But he lost a fortune and a future.

Outrageous? Unheard of? Not really. You’d be surprised at the losses in the business world due to just one critical conversation.

What critical conversation are you avoiding?

Patti Cotton helps executives optimize their effectiveness in leading self, others, and the enterprise. Her areas of focus include confidence, leadership style, executive presence, effective communication, succession planning, and masterful execution. With over 25 years of leadership experience, both stateside and abroad, Patti works with individuals, teams, and organizations across industries, providing executive coaching, leadership development, succession planning, change, and conflict management. She is also a Fortune 500 speaker. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.