emotional agility

The Neuroscience of Leadership: The Power of Emotional Agility

May 7, 2024 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

As you navigate the intricate paths of leadership, it is important to note that cognitive agility is indispensable (see previous article). This ability to flex deftly with thinking allows leaders to pivot swiftly, grasp complexities, and address challenges with creativity and insight.

However, without its strategic partner, emotional agility, even the sharpest cognitive dexterity can falter, leading to poor decision-making, strained team relationships, and a lack of vision.

Imagine a pilot flying a plane with only one working engine. The aircraft might still stay airborne for a while, but the lack of full power severely limits its maneuverability and ability to reach its destination safely. Moreover, reaching the intended destination is now at significant risk – and the mental and emotional exertion required of the pilot to attempt a safe landing anywhere is substantial.

In the same way, cognitive and emotional capacity are like the two engines a leader needs to navigate challenges effectively. Without both engines functioning, the journey becomes much riskier.

What is emotional agility?

Quite simply, it’s the ability to remain adaptable in our thoughts and emotions, allowing us to respond effectively to daily situations. It acknowledges that we all experience a wide range of emotions, whether positive, negative, or neutral, which is a natural part of life. Being emotionally agile means approaching these emotions with a light touch and viewing them not as commands but as information to guide us in making choices aligned with our values.

Why is this important?

Emotionally dysregulated leaders can find themselves making decisions based on impulsive reactions rather than rational thinking. When emotions govern our actions without the filter of reason, mistakes are often the result. This can lead to hasty decisions that lack foresight and planning, affecting not only the leader but the entire team and organization. Teams led by emotionally reactive leaders often experience low morale, high turnover, and a toxic culture, as negative emotions ripple through the workplace.

Without emotional agility, leaders are also prone to confirmation bias, seeking information that supports their feelings and dismissing contradictory evidence. This can lead to poor strategic choices that ignore potential risks and miss opportunities.

In the end, cognitive agility alone can’t save a leader from the pitfalls of unchecked emotions.

An Example

I was once contacted by an executive we will call Sarah Thompson (this name is fictitious, as well as the name of the company and the industry, to protect confidentiality). Sarah, a seasoned executive, was at the helm of her family’s food business, Thompson Foods. Having grown from a modest local bakery to a multinational corporation, the business carried a rich legacy.

However, in recent years, it faced increasing competition, shifting consumer preferences, and internal conflicts. As CEO, Sarah was renowned for her cognitive agility, known for crafting innovative strategies and adeptly maneuvering the business through challenging waters.

Despite her strengths, however, Sarah struggled with emotional regulation. She often found herself overwhelmed by the weight of expectations, leading to emotional outbursts in meetings and critical conversations. Her mood swings left her team wary and hesitant to share insights. They feared triggering her wrath or disapproval.

Decisions made in haste and under stress became the norm, which led to a series of poorly executed product launches and growing frustration among senior executives. The morale at Thompson Foods dipped, and key members began considering their exit.

Recognizing the growing toll Sarah’s emotional volatility was taking on the organization, she reached out to me for guidance. In our initial assessment, we identified several patterns contributing to her challenges. Her inability to recognize emotional triggers and understand how they influenced her decisions was a key issue. She lacked tools to manage stress effectively, which escalated tensions in high-stakes situations.

Our work began with cultivating self-awareness.

Through structured exercises and reflective journaling, Sarah started to identify her triggers, like criticism from peers or unmet expectations.
We practiced mindfulness techniques to help her pause before reacting impulsively, allowing her to assess situations with a clear mind.
Over time, she learned cognitive reframing, which helped her view challenges from a constructive perspective, easing her sense of pressure.

Another significant aspect of our work was fostering empathy. I guided Sarah in improving her listening skills to better understand her team’s perspectives. Through role-playing exercises, she learned to respond calmly and constructively to differing opinions, helping to diffuse tension and build trust.

After several months of dedicated effort, Sarah exhibited remarkable transformation.

In meetings, she maintained composure, even when faced with challenging questions or disagreements.
This shift in demeanor encouraged her team to open up, share ideas, and collaborate more effectively.
Decision-making processes became more inclusive, leading to well-rounded strategies that harnessed the collective intelligence of the team.

Sarah’s newfound emotional agility had a ripple effect throughout the organization. Employee morale improved, and the rate of attrition slowed as trust was restored. Senior executives who had considered leaving decided to stay, invigorated by the positive changes in leadership. I received a note of thanks from one of her senior executives:

“It’s like night and day, here. I feel heard, respected, and I’m able to contribute.

What a difference! Thank you!” – PB

Thompson Foods soon regained its competitive edge, launching successful products that resonated with consumers and this brought the business back on track.

Sarah’s transformation into an emotionally agile leader not only saved the company from potential turmoil but also ushered in a new era of collaboration, innovation, and sustainable growth. The journey highlighted the profound impact of emotional agility in leadership, illustrating that leading with both the mind and heart can change the course of an entire organization.

Where do you need more emotional agility?

Are you able to harness the power of your emotions, allowing you to make sound decisions even in stressful situations? Mastering this enables you to stay in control of your executive function which is the part of your brain (your frontal lobe) that supports strategy, analytical skills, creativity and innovation, the ability to manage yourself well, and more.
Can you remain calm and collected, even in the face of adversity? This ability to manage emotions supports clear communication, better negotiation skills, and the ability to inspire confidence in others. It’s the foundation of safety and trust, fostering collaboration and innovation.
Are you able to be empathetic, recognizing the emotions and perspectives of your team? This allows you to navigate interpersonal conflicts deftly, build strong relationships, and motivate your team more effectively.

Developing emotional agility is a lifelong process. By committing to nourishing this within your leadership, you will enhance your cognitive agility, becoming more effective in decision-making, fostering healthier team dynamics, and building resilient organizations that thrive in any environment.

© Patti Cotton and patticotton.com. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express written permission from the author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that attribution is made to Patti Cotton and patticotton.com, with links thereto.

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Leading with Greater Inner Agility

April 8, 2020 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

You are moving an entire business through uncharted waters right now. A lot of people are depending on you.

Grit isn’t enough to meet the challenges you are facing. You need to increase your inner agility in two ways to deal with the complexity occurring right now.

Owen, president of a manufacturing firm, reached out to me some time ago to help develop talent for the company’s succession planning.

“I’m tired,” he began. “And I think the company needs new blood. Can you provide executive coaching for my second in command?”

“I’d be pleased to help you, Owen,” I answered. “But if I can ask, why do you think the company needs new blood? You seem like you have more good years to give.”

“Truth be told, I’ve been perplexed by the business scene,” Owen answered. “Strategies that used to work don’t cut it. The challenges that we are presented with are new. I can’t refer back to anything I’ve dealt with before in order to create a roadmap out that makes sense.”

“Owen, you aren’t alone,” I responded. “Today’s business landscape is changing so fast that it’s hard to stay on top of what’s in front of you.”

“You aren’t kidding,” he shot back. “I can’t catch my breath. It’s one fire after another. I guess I’m just too old for this.”

“You aren’t too old, Owen. You are finding yourself in the same situation as most other executives right now. It’s time to increase your leadership’s ‘inner’ agility.”

“I’m ready for anything that helps me stay sane while I move this business forward,” he said. “Tell me more.”

“Well, there are two parts of inner agility,” I shared. “These are emotional and cognitive, and they both play a part in how well you make decisions and take actions. Emotional agility has to do with how well you manage your thoughts and emotions around your experiences. And cognitive agility has to do with your ability to make complex decisions.”

Owen and I talked for a bit about emotional agility and after exploring a bit, it seemed he was on top of things there. If you are interested in working on this particular aspect of agility, see the article Four Steps to Crisis Management.

We then talked about his ability to make complex decisions in light of the current business landscape, and this is where Owen admitted he was struggling. He had no past success he could reference as he confronted presenting challenges – the things that had worked in the past were not relevant.

I shared the following 5 steps to help him begin to develop greater cognitive ability:

1. Stand still while moving.

It’s important for a leader to find time for pause, but it feels impossible when the challenges keep coming non-stop. Yet, pausing is what provides self-awareness, reflection, and a moment to replenish one’s emotional and mental stores. Some executives practice breathing meditations, journaling, a walk around the building once or twice daily, or another habit that creates a moment where they can regroup.

2. Adopt uncertainty.

We are creatures of comfort, and when challenges arise, we run to what feels familiar and safe. Yet, with the world’s volatility and its effects on business, we must learn to embrace what feels new and trade in the hat of “expert” for that of “explorer.” If you find yourself using language like, “When this is all over,” think again. Our mindsets and rhetoric need to change to, “Let’s explore this challenge!”

3. Change Up Your Questions.

Begin by asking yourself where you need to go. Avoid gravitating to “how do we do this?” too soon, and replace this impulse with “What if we could…?” By remaining in the visionary portion of your questioning for a longer brainstorming period, you can begin to think outside the box about the way to accomplish it at a later time. Involve your greater management team and line employees. Tell them what you want to accomplish and get their feedback about what they think needs to change in order to accomplish this. And don’t be afraid to ask, “What am I missing?” Be open to thinking about different ways of moving forward and accomplishing your goals.

4. Focus on the journey, not the destination.

The destination you head for today may not be there tomorrow. Set shorter-term strategies to continue supporting your customers and their current needs, using your values as the foundational rudder that keeps you, the team and the organization grounded in who you are and what you are about.

5. Work on the who of your personal leadership and not the how.

Hard skills and competencies are no adequate to support the business of tomorrow. Your leadership character – your personal values and integrity – along with your agility to move through the unfamiliar – will be what count now and in the future.

I was pleased that Owen decided to work on his inner agility, focusing on the cognitive piece, to help move the company forward. As we shouldered this together, he became more confident, able to read the business landscape and connect the dots to make complex decisions, and at the same time, reported that he was less stressed than he had been in years.

Now is the time to step away from old habits to embrace the new and uncertain as exciting, uncharted territory, full of promise. The landscape continues to shift and evolve. How about you?

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Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.

Can You Be Angry and Still Lead Well?

January 15, 2020 By Patti Cotton Leave a Comment

Can you lead well when you feel angry?

A corporate executive described himself as “useless” when he experienced upset.

When he felt angry, he found it difficult to make simple decisions and get regular work done.

Both his team and his family agreed that something needed to change.

The leader’s inability to manage his anger crippled his business, as decision-making and execution are critical to outcomes.

“How do you deal with anger and still lead well?”

That’s the question he asked when he first called for help.

“I’m in the middle of an expansion, Patti. Operating at my best is critical. How do I work around this thing?”

I responded, “You can’t work around it. In fact, the key idea here is to manage your emotions well. When you learn to do this, your decision-making and your ability to get work done will be much stronger than it ever has been.”

“I’m listening,” he said. “But it doesn’t sit well with me. When I am upset, I shut down. I actually feel numb, and it’s hard to think at all.”

He and I met to continue our conversation. He described himself as steady, even keeled in most all situations, and one who shied away from confrontations.

“I’m really pretty easy to get along with,” he said. “But I admit to having some hot buttons. It really gets me going when people are unreliable or untrustworthy. But that’s pretty normal, right?”

“Absolutely,” I said. “Those are some of my hot buttons, as well. How do you handle it when these things come up?”

“That’s where it gets difficult,” he explained. “I tend to stuff my irritation and ignore the problem. You can guess how that winds up. In fact, I hate to tell on myself, but I’ve allowed some pretty bad behavior on my team. As it worsens, I get angry. And then I just withdraw and shut down. When I’m hot under the collar, I can’t think. And then, with this expansion, I need everyone to just get on board and stop the nonsense. But they don’t. And that makes me angrier. And at a certain point, when my blood pressure can’t take it anymore, I simply numb out.”

“What’s worse is that when I go home, I think I can switch gears and shut the office out of my head. But my wife says this definitely doesn’t work. She says I don’t connect with the family – no conversation, just a low-hum heavy feeling in the air. I told her I was meeting with you to help me deal with this. She says to thank you in advance on behalf of the entire family. I had no idea it was affecting things that much.”

“So, here’s what I’m hearing,” I said. “You’ve just outlined what may be the chief reason for your company’s productivity loss, your executive team’s in-fighting, your lost deadlines holding back expansion – and your family life at home. That’s huge. You need more emotional agility, and you need it quickly.

“Emotional agility is the ability to navigate challenges by managing your inner game – your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.”

He stared at me with his mouth open. “I’ll do just about anything. I am seeing damage all around me from this. How do I turn this around? How do I get more emotional agility so that I can get things back on track?”

Over the next few months, he and I worked together on making friends with anger.

It sounds odd, but it isn’t. Emotions are powerful, and most of us simply don’t know how to harness this power. Emotions are simply a signal that alerts us when something affects us or our experience. Paying attention to these signals can sharpen our critical thinking and our execution.

But creating awareness around the emotions we are feeling and making friends with them as mere signals is just the first step.

The next step is crucial – managing your emotions.

And this step was indeed more challenging. Once he recognized that anger would help alert him to pay attention to something, he then needed to decide how to address the situation that was causing it.

As he and I identified biggest potential wins through managing his anger, confrontation was first. There was a key area within the executive team that had been left to fester.

He had to decide what he would expect of the two execs causing the trouble, to share it with them, and then to stand by this to enforce accountability.

Then, he needed to recognize how to make decisions, even in a “hot state.”

This meant recognizing and validating the emotion so that he could self-regulate (simmer down) and make decisions based on his values and not be driven by emotion.

Over the following months, the business began to respond positively at both individual and team levels, and the culture shift had significant impact on the company’s ability to expand and do it well.

He single-handedly turned the business around by managing his own leadership.

In confronting his own growth area, he created impact throughout the organization.

What one thing in your leadership could make a critical impact to your business or area of responsibility?

Patti Cotton

Patti Cotton reenergizes talented leaders and their teams to achieve fulfillment and extraordinary results. For more information on how Patti Cotton can help you and your organization, click here.